The Friday Sex Blog [Sex and Spiritual Growth]

¡Hola! Everybody...
This summer has been somewhat of a downer me, as I have been working harder than usual. Vacation is out of the question, and I’ll be working this weekend as well. On the brighter side, my mother is in town, so I look forward to visiting with her at my sister’s house… Special thanks to my friend, the "Naughty She Devil" for today's blog photo.

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-=[ Sex as Spiritual Practice ]=-

In the first stage, people use sex for selfish reasons. In the second stage, people share sexuality as a means of loving one another. In the third stage, people use sexuality to open one another to the very recognition of oneness.
-- David Deida

Some of the most sexually repressed individuals I have ever met have been Christianized people of color…More on that some other time.

For some time now, I’ve been posting on Tantric and Taoist sexual/ spiritual practice. Using sex as a path for spiritual awakening is not for everyone. Many Westerners, socially conditioned by the sum of thousands of years of anti-sex propaganda, are at a loss when confronted with the notion that sex could be about anything other than physical pleasure, or that it should even have a place in a “spiritual” discussion. In order to elevate sex beyond the ego, beyond the conditioned habits, takes a conscious and sustained effort. At a basic level, we are hard-wired for pleasure. As humans, we are pleasure addicts, conditioned to contract it down into a small and egocentric agenda. In order to shift this circuitry takes time and commitment.

While there are many paths leading to awakening, sex is one of the most effective because it works through the body, as the bridge between spirit and matter, between our inner and outer life. If you learn how to use sex (instead of the other way around), you will have access to one of the most direct routes to spiritual realization and embodiment.

Margot Anand was one of the first Westerners to explore this sexual territory:

You begin to open up a channel to allow the orgasmic energy to move through your body, beyond the orgasmic explosion of release to an implosive orgasm of expansion of consciousness. You move from the genital orgasm to the belly, to the heart… You don’t fall in love anymore, you arise in love… When you have an orgasm of the heart, an orgasm of surrender, where you become the other and the other becomes you, it’s a tremendous heart-opening. When you have an orgasm of the third eye, you are in total spaciousness and total peace with each other. This is a wonderful art… you have to devote a lot of time to this.

Practices

While the following practices are very simple and easy to learn, they are also extremely powerful and need to be practiced precisely. I offer the following only as a very brief overview. If you feel attracted to redirecting sexual energy in this way, you will definitely need instructions that are more specific. In my personal opinion, I would go further and say that eventually you will need a teacher.

For a Man

The first step for a man is to open his body to allow energy to flow more easily. You can do this through yoga, with qi gong, or just by stretching and opening the whole body.

The next step is to begin to arouse and recirculate sexual energy. It is best to start this alone, before you practice with a partner. Begin with self stimulation until you begin to feel the first waves of sexual energy, and then use breath and intention to draw that energy up through the spine and through the rest of the body. Once you become accustomed to practicing in this way, you can send the sexual energy up the spine, over the top of the head and down the front of the body again.

Your penis will go through waves of being very charged with energy, as though you were close to ejaculating. As you move the energy with the breath, there will be less energetic focus on your penis. Each time you move the sexual energy, your penis becomes less charged with sexual energy, and the rest of the body becomes more energized.

Keep practicing until you can stay aroused without ejaculating for at least twenty minutes. Then you are ready to practice with your partner.

For a Woman

For the woman, the core of the practice is to open the heart, to use the heart energy to open the sexual energy, and then share that energetic alchemy with your partner.

Although the genitals will become fully aroused, the practice doesn’t involve direct stimulation, but rather the circulation of the energy from the heart downward.

First, massage your breasts in order to stimulate and open the heart center. When you begin to feel a warming and concentration of energy in the heart, use the breath to practice drawing energy up from the ovaries to the heart. As this continues, feel the energy in the lower part of the body being drawn up into the heart and flowing out of the heart, particularly from the breast, as a blessing and a prayer.

As you continue drawing energy up into your chest and out through the breasts, feel for your friends, your family. Expand your attention, feeling the whole world, the births, the joys, the wars, the pain -- all of it. Like a prayer, a meditation, you are giving yourself. It is as though you were saying with your body, with your breath, with your relaxation, “I am here, I am giving myself to you, to all of you.” Once the heart is awakened with the flame of loving compassion, let it flow downward and awaken the vagina, draw it all up into your heart, and keep pouring it out as if it were a river of blessing. Feel as big as the universe and beyond, just give everything away through your body.

There are practices for partners to do together, but I won’t post that here.

The whole practice is about balance. The reason why these practices were always guarded in secrecy was because of their potential to create power.

A good place for men to start is Mantak Chia and Douglas Abrams Arava The Multiorgasmic Man. In addition, Chia’s Healing Love through the Tao (written with his wife) is good basic text for women. Chia also offers trainings throughout the world as well as tapes and DVDs. I personally stand by his teachings, having read his books, taken some of his courses, and having applied his teachings in my life. Margot Anand has written several good books that offer guidance in how to enter into sex with a deeper sacredness (click here to visit her website).

Finally, I will personally vouch for all of David Deida’s works. His Finding God through Sex was a revelation for me and has been a huge influence on my spiritual path. Before Deida, my spirituality was missing a coherent approach to sex. I have to say that he was a major influence in my way of thinking and spiritual path. I have attended several of his workshops and recommend him highly.

Love,

Eddie

PS: Sex is good for you!

The Friday Sex Blog [Dick Kung Fu, pt. II]

¡Hola! Everybody...
Lebron wouldn't have been able to hack it in The Big City anyway... And they better win it all in Miami, no excuses this time, Lebron.

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-=[ Dick Kung Fu ]=-

Popular mainstream depictions of intercourse are almost always of the mattress spring-squeaking, in-and-out variety that leads to fast ejaculation and little satisfaction for either partner. One has to realize that proper thrusting is essential for a truly pleasurable lovemaking experience. Ejaculatory control, and overall sexual healing, and health are enhanced when the art of thrusting is properly mastered.

First, one should wait until the woman is highly aroused before intercourse. In the colorful language of the Taoists, a couple needs to wait until the woman’s pot is boiling before the man puts his carrot and peas in. Otherwise, they will have soggy sex and his carrot will quickly go limp. LOL

When most people think of intercourse, they think in terms of being “in” or “out.” for Taoists and Tantric practitioners, who mapped out the pleasure and reflexology points of the penis and the vagina, there are many different depths and directions for the man to thrust and pleasure himself and his partner. These crucial reflexology points correspond with the organs and glands of the body, which are energized and healed by rubbing on these points.

You should experiment with various depths and directions. In the interest of making today’s post simpler, think in terms of three basic thrusts: shallow thrusts, long deep thrusts, and short deep thrusts.

Taoists recommended that men (or women, when they are on top) vary the type of thrusts they use. When used synergistically, the deep thrusts push the air out of the woman’s vagina and create a vacuum that can be intensified by using shallow thrusts. As long as the penis does not come out completely, this very pleasurable vacuum effect is maintained.

The recommended thrust combination was nine shallow thrusts and one long deep thrust as a basic rhythm or nine short deep thrusts and one long deep thrust. The long deep thrusts are highly pleasurable, but also make it hard for a man to control his ejaculation. The short deep thrusts are deeply satisfying to the woman while not being overly stimulating to the man. As a man learns to control his ejaculation, he becomes multi-orgasmic and the thrusting ratio can be lessened to six or even three shallow or short deep and then one long deep. The most important thing is to find a regular rhythm that you enjoy and the experiment with depth, direction, and speed. Think of the fun you'll have with your partner exploring thrusts in an open and conscious manner.

The Thrusts

· Shallow Thrusts: These serve to stimulate the highly sensitive first two inches of the woman’s vagina, and depending on her position, her G-spot.

· Long Deep Thrusts: These are deep thrusts in which the man pulls back almost to the entrance of the woman’s vagina between thrusts. These are the thrusts usually depicted in the media and pornography. They can be highly stimulating for both partners, as the man pushes and pulls the head of his cock along the whole length of his partner’s vagina.

· Short Deep Thrusts: These are thrusts in which the man stays deep in the woman and stokes back and forth. This stimulates her clitoris (with pressure from his pubic bone) and the back of her vagina while not stimulating the head of the penis as much.

If the man is experiencing difficulty maintaining an erection, of course the long deep thrusts are good for resolving this problem. And the fact remains that at some time or another every man experiences difficulty having an erection when he wants one. This is what sexual therapists call “situational impotence.” In these situations, it is essential for men to be knowledgeable with the Soft Entry technique (which I won’t get into at this point). In ordinary (often-mediocre) sex, men enter hard and exit soft. In Tantric and Taoist practices, a man can enter hard or soft and exit hard.

I have found the short deep thrusts extremely useful in ejaculatory control and very effective when a woman is reaching orgasm and wants my cock deep inside of her. Using this thrust, I can pleasure my lover without risking losing my ejaculatory control.

Depth, Direction, Speed

It’s important to vary the direction and speed of the thrust in addition to varying depth. While the following is addressed to the man, it can also be adapted by the woman when she is on top. Please remember that the most important part of lovemaking is to be in your body, not inside you head. Don’t get lost with over concern about thrust and lose the pleasure of the thrust itself.

It’s interesting that in English we sometimes describe intercourse as screwing, but in actuality many couples don’t actually “screw” each other. In other words, they don’t rotate their bodies in circles. While most people consider the term vulgar, when it is actually done it can be sublime in its pleasure. Instead of simply thrusting forward and pulling back, you can instead “screw” your hips or, even better, your sacrum in half circles, first on side and then on the other.

Experienced lovers the world over have discovered the importance of using one’s pelvis during lovemaking. The hips are good, but according to the Taoists, it is the sacrum that really controls the penis for the man. To find your sacrum, place the palm of your hand at the base of your spine with the tip of your longest finger in the valley of your buttocks. Underneath your palm is your sacrum (now: please wash your hands. LOL!). This form of screwing has the potential to keep you connected in pleasure for an extended period of time. To use the language of the Tao, a nail (going in straight) comes out easily, but a screw (circling) stays for a long time.

Okay, that’s enough for today. I’m giving away too many secrets!

Love,

Eddie

PS: sex is good for you!

The Friday Sex Blog [Dick Kung Fu, pt. I]

¡Hola! Everybody...
I have a hypothesis. It’s a hypothesis that has yet to be disproved in all these years. Simply put, the hypothesis holds that a woman’s nipples point in the same direction that her nose points.

To further illustrate: if a woman has an upturned nose, her nipples point up. Now please note I’m not referring to sagging or drooping breasts. Nipples normally maintain their orientation even after the effects of gravity has taken their toll, and pert breasts have nipples that orient down. I know this because I have seen examples of this. *grin*

So, using my theory, we can go down my friends’ list and speculate about nipple orientation. ______, for example, most likely has nipples that point slightly upwards, or straight out (as if they were accusing me of some crime or lustful desire).

That’s my hypothesis, and I have yet to meet a woman who has disproved it. Go ahead, look (I know you’re dying to. LMAO!) Now, there are several implications stemming from this hypothesis the most problematic being that a perve like me knows which way your nipples point. That’s fucked up!

BTW, if you disagree with my hypothesis, please feel free to submit relevant documentation (i.e., photos) to yours truly for inspection.

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-=[ Cultivating Male Sexual Energy, pt. I ]=-

You know? Sometimes guys get together and spend their time talking about strengthening their biceps and quads and other muscles to look sexy (“curls for the girls”). I find such conversations beyond boring and usually this is the point in time that I take out my cock, soak up a glass of oil, and then light it up when I expel it through my urethra. LOL!

I’m kidding, of course (I soak up water), but there is one unseen muscle far more important when it comes to matters sexual. This “sex muscle” is actually called the pubococcygeus, or PC, muscle. This group of muscles running from your pubic bone (“pubo”) in the front of your body to the tailbone, or coccyx (“coccygeus”), in the back are essential for optimal sexual health.

In fact, two or three inches of your penis are rooted in this PC muscle, and strengthening it leads to harder erections, more intense, multiple, and more enjoyable orgasms, and better control of your ejaculations. This last benefit is why the PC muscle is essential to becoming a multi-orgasmic man. Yes, fellas, you too can be multi-orgasmic, why let only the ladies have all the fun, huh? Simply put, you can use the PC muscle to put the brakes when you feel you’re gonna shoot that load. And please, stop the bullshit! We all know, as the comedian Kat Williams says, that the “first nut has a mind of its own.” Now, I don’t care how young you are, or how good you think you are, there’s nothing as good as that first nut. In addition, most of us indulge in the second nut mostly because we don’t want some outraged woman blasting our sexual shortcomings (pun intended) on the internet. LOL! Yeah, I’ve seen those “Quick-Draw McGraw” blasts son... Shame on you!

Now, you all know I don’t normally do New Years resolutions, but if I did do them, mine would be to develop my PC muscle to superhuman strength. So far, I’ve gotten pretty good at it. Not to the point where I can suck up a glass of oil and spit it out with my cock, but I’m getting there. ::grin::

Not too long ago, I wrote about the PC muscle and women. Most of my female readers think they know all the exercises for the “love muscle,” but believe me ya’ll don’t. I’ll be sharing some of that in the coming weeks. Today, I’m going to share basic PC Muscle 101 for men -- or Dick Kung Fu. I’m not going to give away all my secrets, muthafuckas. I might share more in the coming months.

The simplest exercise for strengthening your PC muscle is called “Stopping the Stream” and it involves stopping the flow of urine ht next time you use the bathroom. If you can’t stop the flow, your PC muscle is weak. That’s OK, cuz Uncle Eddie is gonna help with your “quickness” problem. The PC muscle is what causes the rhythmic contractions in your pelvis and anus during orgasm. The Taoists discovered that these contractions involved a man’s prostate gland. By learning to contract your PC muscle around your prostate, you can learn to stop yourself from ejaculating which in turn will deepen your orgasmic contractions. As I wrote previously, ejaculation is separate from orgasm. Many men (and women) aren’t aware of this physiological fact. When you contract the prostate, you might begin to feel a shaking or chill through your body. In the following exercise, you will learn to stop the stream of urine and strengthen your PC muscle.

Exercise 1: Stopping the Stream

Inhale: as you get ready to urinate, inhale deeply.

Exhale: Exhale slowly and forcefully push out the urine. [Note: clenching the teeth will intensify the practice.]

Inhale and Contract Your PC: Inhale and contract your PC muscle to stop the flow of urine midstream.

Exhale and Push Out Again: Exhale and start urinating again.

Repeat Until Finished: Repeat steps 3 and 4 (urinating as you exhale and stopping the stream as you inhale) three to six times or until you have finished urinating.

This practice may sting a little at first, but it should quickly disappear within a couple of weeks. However, if it continues, it may indicate you have an infection, in which case you should go to a doctor and have that cleared up before continuing. In addition, to begin, push out your urine as if you are in a hurry and trying to finish quickly. Standing on your toes and clenching your teeth will help intensify the practice, but the most important part of the exercise is simply to start and stop urinating as many times as possible.

Finally, sexual strength is only half the practice. Sexing is like an art, like learning to play the piano or any other instrument. Sensitivity -- to your partner’s arousal and to your own -- is equally if not more important. Unlike the old bullshit techniques of desensitization (lessening feeling) in order to delay ejaculation, becoming multi-orgasmic requires that you increase your sexual sensitivity and bring more mindfulness to your sexual arousal.

Love,

Eddie

Resources

Michael Winn: The Taoist Art of Cultivating Male Sexual Energy

Mantak Chia: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy

The TGIF Sex Blog [Sexual Healing]

¡Hola! Everybody...
Yesterday, I went for an acupressure treatment with someone new. She’s young -- too young, I felt. Man! She did a number on me. At one point it felt as if she had grabbed my sciatica and was playing it like Jimi Hendrix -- plucking at it, kneading it, massaging it. GAWD! She asked if I wanted some acupuncture, but I don’t trust just anybody with the needles, so I declined. Still, she improved it tremendously. It still hurts badly, but I am able to walk. She told me my body is too tight -- too run down. More on that some other time… My Friday blog is all about sex!

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-=[ Sexual Healing ]=-

I was with a woman once who was extremely unhappy. I didn’t fully realize this until we were together in a hotel room. I had sensed that she was unhappy, but didn’t realize the extent of her unhappiness until we spent some real time together. And it wasn’t that she acted sad or anything like that. It was an energy, a deep sadness that ran through the core of her.

Long story short, we were in the throes of passionate lovemaking when I noticed that the closer she neared orgasm, the further inside she retreated. She was there, feeling me, but she was also in her own world, a place where I didn’t exist. I slowed down my actions and spoke to her softly, wanting to bring her back to me. Lying still, I looked deeply into her eyes and forced her to make that conscious contact with me. With just a little coaching, we began to breathe together, slowing down our movements as we reconnected. I wanted her to go to that place but with me, not alone, but with me.

And that scared her…

Very gradually, we were able to reconnect and by synchronizing our breathing, becoming mindful of our bodies, we were able to move together, slower at first, but building up our movements. And eventually we went there together again and again -- building up the intensity until we both experienced a Big Wave orgasm that blew both of us out. But we did it together -- grabbing on to one another while being obliterated. It felt as if we were being transformed at a molecular level.

When we “came to” we both had tears in our eyes and she cried for a long time while I held her.

Most conversations around sex are almost always centered on pleasure and/ or protection. Public discussions about sex are generally debates over pleasure and perversion: with whom you can and can’t have sex, what you can and cannot do, when you can and cannot do it. Unfortunately, this narrow focus misses the larger purpose of sexual energy. In Eastern practices, sex is as much about physical and spiritual health, as it is about pleasure or procreation. The Taoists, for example, have long known that sexuality is as important to our overall health as it is about pleasure. The Chinese medical tradition has long known that sexuality is as important to our well-being as nutrition and exercise. Orgasm is not simply a momentary release of tension but, if cultivated carefully, a life-giving aspect of our overall health and longevity.

According to the Taoists, it is important for us to feel the arousal of our sexual energy and orgasm as often as possible -- ideally everyday. (As a side note, the Taoists cautioned against ejaculation. they discovered that male ejaculation and orgasm are two different sexual functions.)

During arousal and orgasm, our body releases sexual hormones that the Taoists literally considered the Fountain of Youth. Modern medical research is beginning to show the Taoists were on to something important, showing the enormous health benefits that sex and orgasm can offer.

In one study, breast cancer survivors who experienced orgasms through lovemaking or self-pleasuring recovered more quickly than those who did not. The most startling research suggests that sex and especially orgasms can prolong life. The British Medical Journal reported that the more orgasms men in their study had the less likely they were to die. Of the 918 men between the ages of 45 and 59, those who had frequent orgasms, defined as twice a week or more, had a 50 percent lower mortality rate than those men who had infrequent orgasms, defined as less than one per month. This lower mortality rate was for death from all causes as well as death from coronary heart disease, the most common killer in the United States. In addition, there was what researchers call a “dose-response relation” -- the more often a man had sex, the less likely his chances of dying.

Chemically, we know that the hormone oxytocin and PEA, which has been called the molecule of love, both peak during orgasm. Regular sex also increases the amount of testosterone, which improves thinking and serves as antidepressant, in both men and women.

For thousands of years, Westerners have been searching for the Fountain of Youth, a search that has taken them around the world. The irony may be that the Fountain of Youth may very well be in your bedroom.

In addition, the Taoists believed that the value of sexual healing went beyond the mere physical or biochemical. In traditional Chinese medicine, health benefits occur as energy is channeled throughout the body. Western science has already documented that at the moment of orgasm, human brain wave patterns change drastically, literally putting the person into an altered state of consciousness. Deep physiological and electrical changes occur throughout the system during orgasm. The Taoists believe that partners could learn how circulate this healing energy within their own bodies and to channel it to each other.

Taoists describe a practice in which you circulate multiorgasmic energy from your genitals to your head and then down to your abdomen, which has many health benefits. This multiorgasmic energy, which can last up to 14 hours after lovemaking, nourishes your body and actually changes your brain.

Perhaps at a later time, I will describe briefly the art of Vaginal Reflexology -- vaginal massage. The vaginal canal is composed of ringed muscles with each ring corresponding to a specific part of the body. The same is true of course, with the penis. But for now, I will point out some basics for sexual healing.

Love is Healing: As far as I’m concerned, Love is god. Love is the most powerful force we know. It is my Higher Power. The emotions we bring to sex make a determine the extent its healing. If our hearts are filled with love and compassion, it is much easier to transmit healing energy to our partners. There are too many people out there full of negative emotions, especially in the realm of sex. That’s why there’s so much harm done in the name of sex. What my partner above and I experienced didn’t happen only because of technique, but because there was genuine, love and care involved. And no, we weren’t in a committed relationship and had sex only twice.

Limit Ejaculations: The Taoists noticed the depletion of energy that immediately followed male ejaculation and therefore recommended that men limit the number of ejaculations. The secret to being a multiorgasmic man lies in the ability to separate ejaculation from orgasm. The two are not the same.

Multiply Orgasms: As couples are able to multiply orgasms, they not only multiply their pleasure; they also multiply their healing energy.

Circulate Energy: the more energy an individual is able to circulate, or a couple is able to exchange (to be explained in future posts), the more healing the lovemaking will be. You first learn to circulate the energy in your own body, and eventually you will be able to exchange it with one another.

Healing Practices: use healing practices such as genital massage and health-enhancing sex positions to intensify the healing of your lovemaking.

Take Your Time: For lovemaking to be most healing, couples should engage in foreplay for at least a half hour with hugging, kissing, touching, and foreplay and then have multi-orgasmic intercourse for at least another half hour.

Love,

Eddie

PS: Sex really is good for you…

The TGIF Sex Blog [Awakening Female Sexual Energy]

¡Hola! Everybody...
Well, it’s the last weekend of the summer and I’m planning to get away -- going to the Boston area for some much-needed R&R. This past week has been hell at work and the lull of summer will become the hectic, fast paced, helter-skelter of fall once next week rolls around.

I was going to write something on revolution and sex, but didn’t get the chance to finish it. Instead, here’s the last of the Summer Reruns series...

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-=[ Ovarian Kung-Fu ]=-

As many of my readers know, I do not believe sex is incompatible with spirituality. For centuries, we have been indoctrinated to believe that sexuality and spirituality are mutually exclusive. For me, this stereotype has destroyed untold millions of lives, and continues to do so. The truth is that if we want to grow spiritually, we cannot deny the existence of our genitals. We must instead work to integrate our sexual urges into our spiritual lives. In fact, I contend that sex is a valid spiritual path -- a bridge to a deeper relationship to your Higher Power.

Sex can be so much more than a mere release valve for our stress or our neurotic need to feel good/ validated, or be loved. It can be joyous and illuminating. It can be a genuinely transformative force in our lives. Not only can it uncover for us a depth of pleasure that transcends the nerve spasms of genitally focused sex, it can also yield a radical intimacy that obliterates our false sense of separateness, obliterating our ego-boundaries until we recognize in one another the Universal Principle of existence itself. Whew!

::gets off soap box::

As for the title? Yeah, you read that right: Ovarian Kung-Fu -- there are women can do some Hidden Crotch/ Flying Poosie shit on you and you’re whupped!

WEPA! LOL!

I’m making fun, but I’m very serious about this. This is an actual internal system of kung-fu that involves cultivating female sexual energy. The original Taoist sexual exercises were called Ovarian Kung Fu. Some students feels this sounds too violent or too much like a martial arts. However, keep in mind that the term kung fu means discipline or intensive work, an expression of power and mastery, of the ability to take control of one’s body and sexual life.

The following was adapted from the book, Healing Love Through the Tao: Cultivating Female Sexual Energy (Chia & Chia, 2005). I can’t possibly convey enough of this teaching through one-page Word document, but I have tried to give a brief synopsis. I found this totally engrossing.

The Taoist masters believe that the principle energy of a woman (called jing) is largely accumulated in the ovaries and that conscious breathing releases that energy and makes it available for spiritual growth as well as the rejuvenation of the body.

Similarly, the principle energy of a man is found in the testes and is used by a similar discipline of controlled breath and concentration. Both Taoism and Tantra emphasize the importance in taking command of one’s psychosomatic energies. Taoists believe that ordinary sexual activity squanders this all-important energy, mostly through orgasm. Through sexual practices, this waste can be prevented and the life-force can be used to intensify our awareness and ultimately reach a state of spiritual realization.

An interview with a female practitioner yields some interesting insights. For one, she stated that the exercises were easy and that there were no negative side effects for her or anyone else she knows that practices. She states that the exercises empowered her with her control of her own sexual energy and a rediscovery of sexuality as a resource for personal cultivation.

Taoists speak of cultivating one’s nature, refining energy for personal and spiritual development, with sexual energy being one raw material for that process. Practitioners of Taoist sexual exercises speak of being able to direct their sexual energy throughout their body, watching it transform them. Using Taoist techniques and practices, a transformation occurs which causes a basic grounding and harmony. Sexual pleasure becomes more intense and exquisite -- pleasure becoming ecstasy and ecstasy growing into bliss.

Some of the other benefits of Taoist sexual cultivation are relief of menstrual cramps, a shorter flow, and fewer pre-menstrual symptoms.

With Ovarian Breathing, the practitioner learns to move their sexual energy from their genitals to their whole body. Over time, it becomes possible to refine it to the point that it can be shared with other people in their daily experiences. Some practitioners report becoming more attractive to people in general and men in particular. Not merely in a sexual sense, but in the sense of people being interested in their whole person.

What I found most interesting is the description of what is called a Valley of Orgasm, as opposed to a peak orgasm. The practitioner first experiences a slow wave of energy rising within her, leading to a prolonged phase of peak excitement. Then by deeply relaxing in the valley for period, the cycle is repeated with each successive cycle becoming more deeply relaxing and more intense. Eventually the whole body/ mind is at the same time aroused and deeply surrendering.

The Valley Orgasm occurs spontaneously in the state of deep relaxation, and it is a very powerful experience that is felt in every cell, every particle of the practitioner’s being as an ecstatic, exquisite universal integration with all creation.

Now put that in your pipe and smoke it! LOL

Love,

Eddie

Resources

Chia, M., & Chia, M. 2005). Healing love through the Tao: Cultivating female sexual energy. New York: Destiny Books.

The Friday Sex Blog [Sexual Healing]

¡Hola! Everybody...
How the heck is everybody?!! The energy around 360 has been lacking lately, what’s going on? Anyway, I’m on the verge of some major news, but I don’t want to say it until it’s concrete. I’m looking forward to a restful and quiet weekend, hope you all get what you want! ::grin::

* * *

-=[ Sexual Healing ]=-

I was with a woman once who was extremely unhappy. I didn’t realize this fully until we were together in a hotel room. I had sensed that she was unhappy, but didn’t realize the extent of her unhappiness until we spent some real time together. And it wasn’t that she acted sad or anything like that. It was an energy, a deep sadness that ran through the core of her.

Long story short, we were in the throes of passionate lovemaking when I noticed that the closer she neared orgasm, the further inside she retreated. She was there, feeling me, but she was also in her own world, where I wasn’t there at all. I slowed down my actions and spoke to her softly, bringing her back to me. Lying still, I looked deeply into her eyes and forced her to make that conscious contact with me. With just a little coaching, we began to breathe together, slowing down our movements as we reconnected. I wanted her to go to that place but with me, not alone, but with me.

And that scared her…

But little by little, we were able to reconnect and by synchronizing our breathing, we were able to move together, slower at first, but building up our movements. And eventually we went there together again and again -- building up the intensity until we both experienced a Big Wave orgasm that blew both of us out. But we did it together -- grabbing on to one another while being blown through the fuckin 5^th dimension or wherever the fuck we went. It felt as if we were being transformed at a molecular level.

When we “came too” we both had tears in our eyes and she cried for a long time while I held her.

Most conversations around sex are almost always centered on pleasure and/ or protection. Public discussions about sex are generally debates over pleasure and perversion: with whom you can and can’t have sex, what you can and cannot do, when you can and cannot do it. Unfortunately, this narrow focus misses the larger purpose of sexual energy. In Eastern practices, sex is as much about physical and spiritual health, as it is about pleasure or procreation. The Taoists, for example, have long known that sexuality is as important to our overall health as it is about pleasure. The Chinese medical tradition has long known that sexuality is as important to our well-being as nutrition and exercise. Orgasm is not simply a momentary release of tension but a life-giving aspect of our overall health and longevity.

According to the Taoists, it is important for us to feel the arousal of our sexual energy and orgasm as often as possible – ideally everyday. (As a side note, the Taoists cautioned against ejaculation. they discovered that male ejaculation and orgasm served two different sexual functions.)

During arousal and orgasm, our body releases sexual hormones that the Taoists literally considered the Fountain of Youth. Modern medical research is beginning to prove the Taoists right, showing the enormous health benefits that sex and orgasm can offer.

In one study, breast cancer survivors who experienced orgasms through lovemaking or self-pleasuring recovered more quickly than those who did not. The most startling research suggests that sex and especially orgasms can prolong life. The British medical Journal reported that the more orgasms men in their study had the less likely they were to die. Of the 918 men between the ages of 45 and 59, those who had frequent orgasms, defined as twice a week or more, had a 50 percent lower mortality rate than those men who had infrequent orgasms, defined as less than one per month. This lower mortality rate was for death from all causes as well as death from coronary heart disease, the most common killer in the United States. In addition, there was what researchers call a “dose-response relation” -- the more often a man had sex, the less likely his chances of dying.

Chemically, we now know that the beneficial hormone oxytocin and PEA, which has been called the molecule of love, both peak during orgasm. Regular sex also increases the amount of testosterone, which improves thinking and serves as antidepressant, in both men’s and women’s bodies.

For thousands of years, Westerners have been searching for the Fountain of Youth, a search that has taken them around the world. The irony may be that the Fountain of Youth may very well be in your bedroom.

In addition, the Taoists believed that the value of sexual healing went beyond the mere physical or biochemical. In traditional Chinese medicine, health benefits occur as energy is channeled throughout the body. Western science has already documented that at the moment of orgasm, human brain wave patterns change drastically, literally putting the person into an altered state of consciousness. Deep physiological and electrical changes occur throughout the system during orgasm. The Taoists that partners could learn how circulate this healing energy within their own bodies and to channel it to each other.

Taoists describe a practice in which you circulate multiorgasmic energy from your genitals to your head and then down to your abdomen, which has many health benefits. This multiorgasmic energy, which cam last up to 14 hours after lovemaking, nourishes your body and actually changes your brain.

Perhaps at a later sex blog, I will describe briefly the art of Vaginal Reflexology -- vaginal massage. The vaginal canal is composed of ringed muscles and each ring corresponds with a part of the body. The same is true of course, with the penis. But for now, I will point out some basics for sexual healing.

Love is Healing: As far as I’m concerned, Love is god. Love is the most powerful force we know. It is my Higher Power. The emotions we bring to sex make a big difference in how healing it is for us and for our partner. If our hearts are filled with love and compassion, it is much easier to transmit healing energy to our partners. There are too many people out there full of negative emotions, especially in the realm of sex. That’s why there’s so much harm done in the name of sex. What my partner above and I experienced didn’t happen only because of technique, but because there was genuine, love and care involved. And no, we weren’t in a committed relationship and had sex only twice.

Limit Ejaculations: The Taoists noticed the depletion of energy that immediately followed male ejaculation and therefore recommended that men limit the number of ejaculations. The secret to being a multiorgasmic man is to be able to separate ejaculation from orgasm. The two are not the same.

Multiply Orgasms: As couples are able to multiply orgasms, they not only multiply their pleasure; they also multiply their healing energy.

Circulate Energy: the more energy an individual is able to circulate, or a couple is able to exchange (to be explained in future posts), the more healing the lovemaking will be. You first learn to circulate the energy in your own body, and eventually you will be able to exchange it with one another.

Healing Practices: use healing practices such as genital massage and healing positions to intensify the healing of your lovemaking.

Take Your Time: For lovemaking to be most healing, couples should engage in foreplay for at least a half hour with hugging, kissing, touching, and foreplay and then have multi-orgasmic intercourse for at least another half hour.

Love,

Eddie

PS: Sex really is good for you!

[un]Common Sense Sex Blog (Cultivating Male Sexual Energy, pt. I)

Hola Everybody,
Anybody ever notice there are usually two parts to my posts? LOL

I have a theory. It’s a theory that has yet to be disproved in all my years on this planet. This is the theory, a woman’s nipples point in the same direction that her nose points.

To further illustrate: if a woman has an upturned nose, her nipples point up. Now please note I’m not referring to sagging or drooping breasts. Nipples normally maintain their orientation even after the effects of gravity has taken their toll, and pert breasts have nipples that orient down. I know this because I have seen examples of this.

So, using my theory, we can go down my friends’ list and speculate about nipple orientation. ______, for example, most likely has nipples that point slightly upwards, or straight out (as if they were accusing me of some crime or something).

That’s my theory, and I have yet to meet a woman who’s disproved my theory. Go ahead, look, I know you’re dying to! LMAO! Now, there are several implications stemming from this theory the most problematic being that a perve like me knows which way your nipples point. That’s fucked up!

BTW, if you disagree with my theory, please feel free to submit relevant documentation (i.e., photos) to yours truly for inspection.

Today’s blog photos are courtesy of my “gorgeous genius,” the lovely, ever philosophical Phil. I’m flattered she would share this with me. This is what I wrote as her testimonial:

“From the fine turn of her calves, to the curve of her thighs, to the deliciously formed derrière (gawd!), a soft belly leading to impertinent breasts swollen ripe, to a pouty bottom lip sticky-sweet with invitation, and those enormous eyes radiating intelligence -- Nakia is all woman and more.”

As you can see, she is a beautiful young lady...

* * *

-=[ Cultivating Male Sexual Energy, pt. I ]=-

You know? Guys get together and talk about all the time spent strengthening their biceps and quads and other muscles to look good (“curls for the girls”). This is the point in time that I take out my cock, soak up a glass of oil, and then light it up when I expel it through my urethra! LOL

I’m kidding, of course, but there one unseen muscle far more important when it comes to matters sexual. This “sex muscle” is actually called the pubococcygeus, or PC, muscle. This group of muscles runs from your pubic bone (“pubo”) in the front of your body to the tailbone, or coccyx (“coccygeus”), in the back.

These muscles are essential for optimal sexual health. In fact, two or three inches of your penis are rooted in this PC muscle, and strengthening this muscle leads to harder erections, stronger, multiple and more enjoyable orgasms, and better control of your ejaculations. This last benefit is why the PC muscle is essential to becoming a multi-orgasmic man. Yes, fellas, you too can be multi-orgasmic, why let only the ladies have all the fun, huh? Simply put, you can use the PC muscle to put the brakes when you feel you’re gonna shoot that load. And please, stop the bullshit! We all know, as the comedian Kat Williams says, that the “first nut has a mind of its own.” Now, I don’t care how young you are, or how good you think you are, there’s nothing as good as the first nut. In addition, most of us indulge in the second nut mostly because we don’t want some outraged woman blasting your fast ass on 360! LOL! Yeah, I’ve seen those “Quick-Draw McGraw” blasts son, shame on you!

Now, you all know I don’t normally do New Years resolutions, but if I did do them, mine would be to develop my PC muscle to superhuman strength. So far, I’ve gotten pretty good at it. Not to the point where I can suck up a glass of oil and spit it out with my cock, but I’m getting there. ::grin::

Not too long ago, I wrote about the PC muscle and women. Most of my female readers think they know all the exercises for the “love muscle,” but believe me ya’ll don’t. I’ll be sharing some of that in the coming weeks. Today, I’m going to share just the basic PC 101 for men. I’m not going to give away all my secrets, ma’fuccas. I might share more in the coming months.

The simplest exercise for strengthening your PC muscle is called “Stopping the Stream” and it involves stopping the flow of urine ht next time you use the bathroom. If you can’t stop the flow, your PC muscle is weak. That’s OK, cuz Uncle Eddie is gonna help with your “quickness” problem. The PC muscle is what causes the rhythmic contractions in your pelvis and anus during orgasm. The Taoists discovered that these contractions involved a man’s prostrate gland. By learning to contract your PC muscle around your prostrate, you can learn to stop yourself from ejaculating which in turn will deepen your orgasmic contractions. As I wrote previously, ejaculation is separate from orgasm. Many men (and women) aren’t aware of this fact. When you contract on the prostrate, you begin to feel a shaking or chill through your body. In the following exercise, you will learn to stop the stream of urine and strengthen your PC muscle.

Exercise 1: Stopping the Stream

Inhale: as you get ready to urinate, inhale deeply.

Exhale: Exhale slowly and forcefully push out the urine. [Note: clenching the teeth will intensify the practice.]

Inhale and Contract Your PC: Inhale and contract your PC muscle to stop the flow of urine midstream.

Exhale and Push Out Again: Exhale and start urinating again.

Repeat Until Finished: Repeat steps 3 and 4 (urinating as you exhale and stopping the stream as you inhale) three to six times or until you have finished urinating.

This practice may sting a little at first, but it should quickly disappear within a couple of weeks. However, if it continues, it may mean you have an infection, in which case you should go to a doctor and have that cleared up before continuing. To begin, push out your urine as if you are in a hurry and trying to finish quickly. Standing on your toes and clenching your teeth will help intensify the practice, but the most important part of the exercise is simply to start and stop urinating as many times as possible.

Finally, sexual strength is only half the practice. Sexing is like an art, like learning to play the piano or any other instrument. Sensitivity is equally if not more important to your partner’s arousal and to your own. Unlike the old bullshit techniques of desensitization in order to delay ejaculation, becoming multi-orgasmic requires that you increase your sexual sensitivity and bring more mindfulness to your sexual arousal.

Love,

Eddie