The TGIF Sex Blog [Sexual Healing]

¡Hola! Everybody...
Yesterday, I went for an acupressure treatment with someone new. She’s young -- too young, I felt. Man! She did a number on me. At one point it felt as if she had grabbed my sciatica and was playing it like Jimi Hendrix -- plucking at it, kneading it, massaging it. GAWD! She asked if I wanted some acupuncture, but I don’t trust just anybody with the needles, so I declined. Still, she improved it tremendously. It still hurts badly, but I am able to walk. She told me my body is too tight -- too run down. More on that some other time… My Friday blog is all about sex!

* * *

-=[ Sexual Healing ]=-

I was with a woman once who was extremely unhappy. I didn’t fully realize this until we were together in a hotel room. I had sensed that she was unhappy, but didn’t realize the extent of her unhappiness until we spent some real time together. And it wasn’t that she acted sad or anything like that. It was an energy, a deep sadness that ran through the core of her.

Long story short, we were in the throes of passionate lovemaking when I noticed that the closer she neared orgasm, the further inside she retreated. She was there, feeling me, but she was also in her own world, a place where I didn’t exist. I slowed down my actions and spoke to her softly, wanting to bring her back to me. Lying still, I looked deeply into her eyes and forced her to make that conscious contact with me. With just a little coaching, we began to breathe together, slowing down our movements as we reconnected. I wanted her to go to that place but with me, not alone, but with me.

And that scared her…

Very gradually, we were able to reconnect and by synchronizing our breathing, becoming mindful of our bodies, we were able to move together, slower at first, but building up our movements. And eventually we went there together again and again -- building up the intensity until we both experienced a Big Wave orgasm that blew both of us out. But we did it together -- grabbing on to one another while being obliterated. It felt as if we were being transformed at a molecular level.

When we “came to” we both had tears in our eyes and she cried for a long time while I held her.

Most conversations around sex are almost always centered on pleasure and/ or protection. Public discussions about sex are generally debates over pleasure and perversion: with whom you can and can’t have sex, what you can and cannot do, when you can and cannot do it. Unfortunately, this narrow focus misses the larger purpose of sexual energy. In Eastern practices, sex is as much about physical and spiritual health, as it is about pleasure or procreation. The Taoists, for example, have long known that sexuality is as important to our overall health as it is about pleasure. The Chinese medical tradition has long known that sexuality is as important to our well-being as nutrition and exercise. Orgasm is not simply a momentary release of tension but, if cultivated carefully, a life-giving aspect of our overall health and longevity.

According to the Taoists, it is important for us to feel the arousal of our sexual energy and orgasm as often as possible -- ideally everyday. (As a side note, the Taoists cautioned against ejaculation. they discovered that male ejaculation and orgasm are two different sexual functions.)

During arousal and orgasm, our body releases sexual hormones that the Taoists literally considered the Fountain of Youth. Modern medical research is beginning to show the Taoists were on to something important, showing the enormous health benefits that sex and orgasm can offer.

In one study, breast cancer survivors who experienced orgasms through lovemaking or self-pleasuring recovered more quickly than those who did not. The most startling research suggests that sex and especially orgasms can prolong life. The British Medical Journal reported that the more orgasms men in their study had the less likely they were to die. Of the 918 men between the ages of 45 and 59, those who had frequent orgasms, defined as twice a week or more, had a 50 percent lower mortality rate than those men who had infrequent orgasms, defined as less than one per month. This lower mortality rate was for death from all causes as well as death from coronary heart disease, the most common killer in the United States. In addition, there was what researchers call a “dose-response relation” -- the more often a man had sex, the less likely his chances of dying.

Chemically, we know that the hormone oxytocin and PEA, which has been called the molecule of love, both peak during orgasm. Regular sex also increases the amount of testosterone, which improves thinking and serves as antidepressant, in both men and women.

For thousands of years, Westerners have been searching for the Fountain of Youth, a search that has taken them around the world. The irony may be that the Fountain of Youth may very well be in your bedroom.

In addition, the Taoists believed that the value of sexual healing went beyond the mere physical or biochemical. In traditional Chinese medicine, health benefits occur as energy is channeled throughout the body. Western science has already documented that at the moment of orgasm, human brain wave patterns change drastically, literally putting the person into an altered state of consciousness. Deep physiological and electrical changes occur throughout the system during orgasm. The Taoists believe that partners could learn how circulate this healing energy within their own bodies and to channel it to each other.

Taoists describe a practice in which you circulate multiorgasmic energy from your genitals to your head and then down to your abdomen, which has many health benefits. This multiorgasmic energy, which can last up to 14 hours after lovemaking, nourishes your body and actually changes your brain.

Perhaps at a later time, I will describe briefly the art of Vaginal Reflexology -- vaginal massage. The vaginal canal is composed of ringed muscles with each ring corresponding to a specific part of the body. The same is true of course, with the penis. But for now, I will point out some basics for sexual healing.

Love is Healing: As far as I’m concerned, Love is god. Love is the most powerful force we know. It is my Higher Power. The emotions we bring to sex make a determine the extent its healing. If our hearts are filled with love and compassion, it is much easier to transmit healing energy to our partners. There are too many people out there full of negative emotions, especially in the realm of sex. That’s why there’s so much harm done in the name of sex. What my partner above and I experienced didn’t happen only because of technique, but because there was genuine, love and care involved. And no, we weren’t in a committed relationship and had sex only twice.

Limit Ejaculations: The Taoists noticed the depletion of energy that immediately followed male ejaculation and therefore recommended that men limit the number of ejaculations. The secret to being a multiorgasmic man lies in the ability to separate ejaculation from orgasm. The two are not the same.

Multiply Orgasms: As couples are able to multiply orgasms, they not only multiply their pleasure; they also multiply their healing energy.

Circulate Energy: the more energy an individual is able to circulate, or a couple is able to exchange (to be explained in future posts), the more healing the lovemaking will be. You first learn to circulate the energy in your own body, and eventually you will be able to exchange it with one another.

Healing Practices: use healing practices such as genital massage and health-enhancing sex positions to intensify the healing of your lovemaking.

Take Your Time: For lovemaking to be most healing, couples should engage in foreplay for at least a half hour with hugging, kissing, touching, and foreplay and then have multi-orgasmic intercourse for at least another half hour.

Love,

Eddie

PS: Sex really is good for you…

The TGIF Sex Blog [Touch Me]

¡Hola! Everybody...
The cliché of March’s early roar has reared its head, leaving us with quite a bit of snow. Schools are closed, as are my offices, but I’m working anyway (I live within walking distance). Still, I console myself in the knowledge that it's great snuggling weather and that spring is just around the corner...

It’s Friday and that means it’s all about... S-E-X!

* * *

-=[ Sensual Touch ]=-

Affectionate, sensual, and playful touching is a crucial part of body awareness and brain development. Everyone starts out in close, affectionate contact with their mothers and siblings. We are animals that nurse, that lick, and nuzzle one another as a way to reinforce intimate ties and that engage in controlled rough-and-tumble play as a way to hone our body maps, preparing us to deal with whatever life throws at us.

Frequent and early exposure to sensual touch is essential to normal, healthy brain development in humans. In fact, societies with anti-sex, anti-sensual attitudes are the most violent. The same was certainly true of our ancestors millions of years ago, when we were first beginning to develop our close-knit style of survival.

Sensual touch goes way back in our line and that’s why it remains part of our older sensory tract, no the newer one. Sensual touch flows into the brain through the more ancient spinal tract along with pain, itch, tickle, and temperature.

Infants that do not receive frequent sensual touch from their mothers grow up to be more anxious and neurotic than those that do, creating a reinforcing cycle. When emotionally deprived children grow up to be parents they tend to affectionately touch their children less than normal, passing down the emotional baggage down through the generations.

Sensual touch is especially critical for human development. It’s not merely that children deprived of physical affection often suffer from emotional problems later in life -0- though that is indeed extremely important. It goes even deeper, to the level of physical growth, health, and homeostasis. Our neurology evolved as a feedback loop, which is why touch is so important to our health and development. Consider that an infant deprived of physical touch will literally whither (and very likely get sick or even perish). I remember the sad stories of infants born with AIDS during the early history of that pandemic. Due to ignorance, many nurses refused to touch these infants, who would die early and horribly. One woman, horrified, opened a hospice for such infants and the main form of therapy was affectionate, gentle touching. Also consider, for example, the studies of what touch does for premature infants: Frequent, gentle massage causes them to gain weight up to 50 percent faster than if they receive minimal handling. It also makes their breathing and heartbeats healthier, and makes them more alert, less fussy, and better art sleeping. These benefits continue to follow them all through infancy and toddlerhood.

Though you may poke fun at the notion, affectionate touch is as important as nutrition. Ultimately, we are creatures of connection, and we seek touch and affection as we do nurturance, for that is what it is.

Love,

Eddie

The TGIF Sex Blog [Ex Sex]

¡Hola! Everybody...
I just got a phone call from an ex last night (hence the post)... LOL I will be gone all today.

* * *

-=[ Sex with Your Ex ]=-

Ahhhh… you know how it is: the last kiss, fling, one more night, “closure,” whatever the case, we sometimes find ourselves legs entwined and under the sheets with an ex-lover more often than not feeling confused.

Anyway, taking into consideration how people can oftentimes mistake “playing house” for real love, and feelings can get hurt -- especially if you don’t have the kind mindset that can engage in casual sex (and there’s nothing wrong with that), perhaps having sex with your ex isn’t that good of an idea.

Besides, having a fling with an ex is different from having sex with someone else, since there’s usually some emotional baggage. After all, he’s an ex for a reason, right?

Right?

Still, the fact remains that a chance encounter or an idea germinating in that head of yours can make sex with your ex an alluring possibility -- irresistible even. Even if s/he wasn’t the best lover, whatever spark you may have felt for your ex may seem compelling; especially if you’ve decided to withhold sex until you meet “The One” or are on the rebound from another affair. How many of you have found yourselves after a couple of cocktails, in the heat of the moment actually considering the psycho ex-boyfriend/ girlfriend as a possibility?

Come on, now, don’t get all new on me, ladies and gents...

And if s/he was the best lover you ever had and one you still daydream about, the one you fantasize about when you’re attending to your sorely neglected needs? Then you really should forget about it. The hard fact is that having sex with your ex can be playing with fire on too many levels for it to be the right thing to do. Strong feelings will surface. You might find that you long for him/ her in ways that will throw you for a loop. You might find yourself struggling with an overpowering compulsion, especially if you don’t have sex as often. (And ladies? Having sex every leap year doesn’t count as often. LOL!)

Powerful, sex-triggered hormones in your body can trick you into thinking you’re falling in love again and you will suddenly develop amnesia about the reasons why you left the relationship in the first place. The fantasy of “happily ever after” always lurks in the background. You will be thinking only of the good times, and of course, many of us are notoriously nostalgic, thinking about what could’ve, should’ve, would’ve been, and what might still be…

::SMACK::

Stop that! Wake the fuck up!

There is a reason, possibly several, that this trifling ma’fucca is your ex, even if it was s/he that broke up with you. In addition, having sex, especially if you’re already sex-starved, will make you forget about those reasons. Physical intimacy will bring back feelings you think you have buried, which can confuse you and cause you to make decisions you will later regret. Even if you think you’re strong enough (you’re not) and removed enough from the past to have some nice sex and leave it at that, the hurts, the longings -- all the baggage -- will replay in your mind long after the burst of passion has gone.

The important question is if will you be able to get on with your life if this little tussle in the sack turns out to be no more than a relationship’s final curtain. Can you truly close the door after opening up the Pandora’s Box (pun intended)?

If you have the slightest notion that going back to bed with your ex is going to rekindle your relationship, heal all the wounds, right all the wrongs, etc., do yourself a favor and run (!), don’t walk.

Sex with your ex, sweetie, won’t do that. Unless they have been doing some major inner work, he or she will likely the same seriously fragmented individual they were when you broke up.

Love,

Eddie

The Friday Sex Blog [Sexual Healing]

¡Hola! Everybody...
How the heck is everybody?!! The energy around 360 has been lacking lately, what’s going on? Anyway, I’m on the verge of some major news, but I don’t want to say it until it’s concrete. I’m looking forward to a restful and quiet weekend, hope you all get what you want! ::grin::

* * *

-=[ Sexual Healing ]=-

I was with a woman once who was extremely unhappy. I didn’t realize this fully until we were together in a hotel room. I had sensed that she was unhappy, but didn’t realize the extent of her unhappiness until we spent some real time together. And it wasn’t that she acted sad or anything like that. It was an energy, a deep sadness that ran through the core of her.

Long story short, we were in the throes of passionate lovemaking when I noticed that the closer she neared orgasm, the further inside she retreated. She was there, feeling me, but she was also in her own world, where I wasn’t there at all. I slowed down my actions and spoke to her softly, bringing her back to me. Lying still, I looked deeply into her eyes and forced her to make that conscious contact with me. With just a little coaching, we began to breathe together, slowing down our movements as we reconnected. I wanted her to go to that place but with me, not alone, but with me.

And that scared her…

But little by little, we were able to reconnect and by synchronizing our breathing, we were able to move together, slower at first, but building up our movements. And eventually we went there together again and again -- building up the intensity until we both experienced a Big Wave orgasm that blew both of us out. But we did it together -- grabbing on to one another while being blown through the fuckin 5^th dimension or wherever the fuck we went. It felt as if we were being transformed at a molecular level.

When we “came too” we both had tears in our eyes and she cried for a long time while I held her.

Most conversations around sex are almost always centered on pleasure and/ or protection. Public discussions about sex are generally debates over pleasure and perversion: with whom you can and can’t have sex, what you can and cannot do, when you can and cannot do it. Unfortunately, this narrow focus misses the larger purpose of sexual energy. In Eastern practices, sex is as much about physical and spiritual health, as it is about pleasure or procreation. The Taoists, for example, have long known that sexuality is as important to our overall health as it is about pleasure. The Chinese medical tradition has long known that sexuality is as important to our well-being as nutrition and exercise. Orgasm is not simply a momentary release of tension but a life-giving aspect of our overall health and longevity.

According to the Taoists, it is important for us to feel the arousal of our sexual energy and orgasm as often as possible – ideally everyday. (As a side note, the Taoists cautioned against ejaculation. they discovered that male ejaculation and orgasm served two different sexual functions.)

During arousal and orgasm, our body releases sexual hormones that the Taoists literally considered the Fountain of Youth. Modern medical research is beginning to prove the Taoists right, showing the enormous health benefits that sex and orgasm can offer.

In one study, breast cancer survivors who experienced orgasms through lovemaking or self-pleasuring recovered more quickly than those who did not. The most startling research suggests that sex and especially orgasms can prolong life. The British medical Journal reported that the more orgasms men in their study had the less likely they were to die. Of the 918 men between the ages of 45 and 59, those who had frequent orgasms, defined as twice a week or more, had a 50 percent lower mortality rate than those men who had infrequent orgasms, defined as less than one per month. This lower mortality rate was for death from all causes as well as death from coronary heart disease, the most common killer in the United States. In addition, there was what researchers call a “dose-response relation” -- the more often a man had sex, the less likely his chances of dying.

Chemically, we now know that the beneficial hormone oxytocin and PEA, which has been called the molecule of love, both peak during orgasm. Regular sex also increases the amount of testosterone, which improves thinking and serves as antidepressant, in both men’s and women’s bodies.

For thousands of years, Westerners have been searching for the Fountain of Youth, a search that has taken them around the world. The irony may be that the Fountain of Youth may very well be in your bedroom.

In addition, the Taoists believed that the value of sexual healing went beyond the mere physical or biochemical. In traditional Chinese medicine, health benefits occur as energy is channeled throughout the body. Western science has already documented that at the moment of orgasm, human brain wave patterns change drastically, literally putting the person into an altered state of consciousness. Deep physiological and electrical changes occur throughout the system during orgasm. The Taoists that partners could learn how circulate this healing energy within their own bodies and to channel it to each other.

Taoists describe a practice in which you circulate multiorgasmic energy from your genitals to your head and then down to your abdomen, which has many health benefits. This multiorgasmic energy, which cam last up to 14 hours after lovemaking, nourishes your body and actually changes your brain.

Perhaps at a later sex blog, I will describe briefly the art of Vaginal Reflexology -- vaginal massage. The vaginal canal is composed of ringed muscles and each ring corresponds with a part of the body. The same is true of course, with the penis. But for now, I will point out some basics for sexual healing.

Love is Healing: As far as I’m concerned, Love is god. Love is the most powerful force we know. It is my Higher Power. The emotions we bring to sex make a big difference in how healing it is for us and for our partner. If our hearts are filled with love and compassion, it is much easier to transmit healing energy to our partners. There are too many people out there full of negative emotions, especially in the realm of sex. That’s why there’s so much harm done in the name of sex. What my partner above and I experienced didn’t happen only because of technique, but because there was genuine, love and care involved. And no, we weren’t in a committed relationship and had sex only twice.

Limit Ejaculations: The Taoists noticed the depletion of energy that immediately followed male ejaculation and therefore recommended that men limit the number of ejaculations. The secret to being a multiorgasmic man is to be able to separate ejaculation from orgasm. The two are not the same.

Multiply Orgasms: As couples are able to multiply orgasms, they not only multiply their pleasure; they also multiply their healing energy.

Circulate Energy: the more energy an individual is able to circulate, or a couple is able to exchange (to be explained in future posts), the more healing the lovemaking will be. You first learn to circulate the energy in your own body, and eventually you will be able to exchange it with one another.

Healing Practices: use healing practices such as genital massage and healing positions to intensify the healing of your lovemaking.

Take Your Time: For lovemaking to be most healing, couples should engage in foreplay for at least a half hour with hugging, kissing, touching, and foreplay and then have multi-orgasmic intercourse for at least another half hour.

Love,

Eddie

PS: Sex really is good for you!