Beige meets Off White as Tim Pawlenty injects a little...a little...well whatever is the opposite of "excitement" into the Mitt Romney campaign.

"You're just kidding that I have to wear the magic underwear right Mitt?"

Courtesy of The New York Times:

Mr. Pawlenty, the former governor of Minnesota who ended his quest for the Republican nomination last month, chose Mr. Romney over Gov. Rick Perry of Texas, whom he was close to from their years serving on the Republican Governors Association. 

Many of Mr. Pawlenty’s contributors and supporters had been waiting for a signal from him in the escalating contest between Mr. Romney and Mr. Perry. And Mr. Pawlenty had been looking for help in retiring a campaign debt of at least $500,000. 

In a statement announcing Mr. Pawlenty as a national co-chairman of his campaign, Mr. Romney said: “Tim will be a trusted adviser as I move forward with my campaign. Tim has always been an advocate for lower taxes, reduced spending and an environment where jobs can be created. It is an honor to have him serve as co-chair to my campaign for the presidency.” 

Mr. Pawlenty, in an interview Monday morning on “Fox and Friends,” said of Mr. Romney, “I believe he’s going to be our party’s nominee.”

Oh yeah, THIS is what a campaign that has a mild mannered sofa cushion for a candidate does to reinvigorate their message.  Add the guy that restless sheep count jumping into a campaign at night to help them fall asleep.

The only way that Pawlenty could possibly make the Romney campaign more interesting is if Mitt lit him on fire and pushed him into a crowd of kerosene soaked Teabaggers. (I have to admit I would probably tune in for that.)

Of course now that Tim "Micheal Bay" Pawlenty is on board, he MIGHT be able to jazz up Romney's campaign commercials, and take them from this:

To this:

After all we know how much these advertisements helped Tim Pawlenty.

Wait that didn't come out right.

Just for laughs. The Republican candidate flow chart.

Sometimes you have to just laugh at the GOP circus as it rolls into town.

Of course later there will be those huge piles of elephant shit that somebody needs to shovel off of the streets, but for right now we can just enjoy the show.

Just in case you missed it, here is the ENTIRE Republican debate from earlier tonight. With a side order of tweets!

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I have to say that I actually had fun watching this.

I really like watching Republicans go for each others jugular.

I tweeted my fingers to the bone during this debate, so rather than write up a whole long post concerning my opinion about who won, who lost, and who said the stupidest thing, I will just let you read my highly informative, truly inspired, and potentially libelous tweets. (And remember, I MAY have been drinking during the debate.)

Perry is talking. I am pinching myself to remind me I am not having a nightmare about George W. Bush. 

Matthews should be happy. Romney is trying to kick Perry in the balls. He is missing, but he is trying. 

Okay Romney landed one. Does Perry believe he is responsible for the oil in the ground in Texas?

Wait is that Santorum? Here let me Google him to make sure. 

Herman Cain is going for the applause lines. Why do I crave deep dish pizza all of the sudden? 

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! It is "Crazy time with Bachmann!" I LOVE this show! 

Is she blaming the economy on "Obamacare?" Uh seriously?(Which by the way does not even start to kick in until 2013.)

Well who could possibly out crazy Bachmann? Mr. Paul, you are up. 

Oh Brian Williams is going to get some nasty e-mails tonight! How dare he confront the leprechaun of Libertarianism. 

Uh oh, I think Newt is working for the Perry campaign! 

Perry smells Romney blood in the water. "Did somebody say healthcare?" he drawls. 

Let's sum up Romney's defense. "MY healthcare plan good. Obama healthcare plan bad!" 

"Why are people uninsured in Texas?" Perry "Federal government." WTF? 

I think Bachamnn just said something smart. I am looking out of the window for locusts and fiery rain. 

Newt is attacking the moderators! Quick load up the tranquilizer guns! (Yelled at Brain Williams and that Politco guy to not attempt to make Republicans disagree with each other. I am not sure that Newt understands the concept of a "debate.")

The journalists are "protecting" Barack Obama? When did that happen? 

Santorum is speaking in the third person again. 

Holy crap! Rick Perry just looked through my television at me. Yeah, I don't like that! 

Romney will not say that Bachmann crazy. Pansy! 

Paul just kicked Perry in his "Hillarycare" supporting balls. 

Ron Paul just jumped the shark with his condemnation of Reagan policies in the eighties. I guess he was ALWAYS on that side of the shark. 

Yeah Rick Perry, why do you hate old people? (Called Social Security a "Ponzi scheme.")

Perry attacks Karl Rove? Ooh that is going to leave a mark! 

Romney found chink in the Perry armor. 

Oh NOW Perry does not want to fight. Yeah, that is how bullies ALWAYS respond. 

Herman Cain is talking about the Chile model. Why is that man always making me hungry? 

Funniest line thus far. Ron Paul saying "I as President." 

I think I have to agree with Perry about the HPV vaccine. I hate myself for it, but I do. 

Romney is supporting Perry on the HPV vaccine. Crap I hate it when they stop fighting! 

Why is Newt talking about WMDs again? Somebody get the man a calendar. 

Paul hates people affected by natural disasters. What did people do before FEMA? They died. 

Huntsman wants to talk about something important. And his tan is VERY Presidential. He wins points with me. 

Newt offers solution to education. "Get rid of public education!" So simple, why didn't anybody else think of that? 

Hey! How come the Hispanic moderator does not get a chair? 

Romney wants a border fence. That is just for YOU Teabaggers. Romney loves you, don't forget. 

Wow, Romney just went full Teabagger! 

Santorum punts the immigration issue concerning the illegals already in the country. 

Hispanics wants us to stop helping illegal aliens? "Screw you Uncle Jesus, get your green card!" (Bachmann claimed to have spoken to Hispanics who did not want Federal dollars spent on illegal immigrants in this country.)

Wow everything is so simple for Herman Cain. He is either a genius, or Herman Cain. 

Paul going after the drug laws. The stoner voting block is his for the asking. 

Ron Paul said that those border fences might keep us from vacationing in Peurto Vallarta. I KNEW those fences weren't for the Mexicans! (Ron Paul had said the border fences are to keep Americans in.)

Romney says he IS member of Tea Party. Baggers say "Nuh uh!" 

Bachmann is trying to channel Reagan. Nancy looks doubtful. 

Huntsman says no to pledges and immediately starts to lose his voice. Somewhere Grover Nordquist is choking a voodoo doll. 

Bachmann: "Obama is weakening our military." Yes because killing terrorists makes the rest of the world think we are push overs. 

Huntsman defends science? I thought he was a Republican? 

Perry grabbed the scientists by the scruff of the neck and throws them under his big ole Texas bus. Now that is a Republican!  (In response to Perry saying that the findings on climate science are not agreed to by most scientists.)


(I did correct a few spelling mistakes, but for the most part those are my tweets as tweeted in the heat of the moment.)

New York Times editor compares religious belief to belief that space aliens live among us, and suggests that candidates for President should explain their faith.

Oh I LIKE this guy!

Courtesy of Bill Keller of the NYT:

If a candidate for president said he believed that space aliens dwell among us, would that affect your willingness to vote for him? Personally, I might not disqualify him out of hand; one out of three Americans believe we have had Visitors and, hey, who knows? But I would certainly want to ask a few questions. Like, where does he get his information? Does he talk to the aliens? Do they have an economic plan?This year’s Republican primary season offers us an important opportunity to confront our scruples about the privacy of faith in public life — and to get over them. We have an unusually large number of candidates, including putative front-runners, who belong to churches that are mysterious or suspect to many Americans. Mitt Romney and Jon Huntsman are Mormons, a faith that many conservative Christians have been taught is a “cult” and that many others think is just weird. (Huntsman says he is not “overly religious.”) Rick Perry and Michele Bachmann are both affiliated with fervid subsets of evangelical Christianity — and Rick Santorum comes out of the most conservative wing of Catholicism — which has raised concerns about their respect for the separation of church and state, not to mention the separation of fact and fiction. 

I honestly don’t care if Mitt Romney wears Mormon undergarments beneath his Gap skinny jeans, or if he believes that the stories of ancient American prophets were engraved on gold tablets and buried in upstate New York, or that Mormonism’s founding prophet practiced polygamy (which was disavowed by the church in 1890). Every faith has its baggage, and every faith holds beliefs that will seem bizarre to outsiders. I grew up believing that a priest could turn a bread wafer into the actual flesh of Christ. 

But I do want to know if a candidate places fealty to the Bible, the Book of Mormon (the text, not the Broadway musical) or some other authority higher than the Constitution and laws of this country. It matters to me whether a president respects serious science and verifiable history — in short, belongs to what an official in a previous administration once scornfully described as “the reality-based community.” I do care if religious doctrine becomes an excuse to exclude my fellow citizens from the rights and protections our country promises. 

I am sorry but there should not even be any debate about this.  Of COURSE we should know what kind of beliefs might inform the decision making of potentially the most powerful person in the world.

Look at Rick Perry for example.  The man has said numerous times that he would leave the more difficult problems facing his state, and our country, "in God's hands." Is that really the guy we want to have at the helm tasked with steering this great country through the troubles which lie just over the horizon?

Here are the questions that Keller sent to the candidates:

1. Is it fair to question presidential candidates about details of their faith? 
2. Is it fair to question candidates about controversial remarks made by their pastors, mentors, close associates or thinkers whose books they recommend? 
3. (a) Do you agree with those religious leaders who say that America is a “Christian nation” or “Judeo-Christian nation?” (b) What does that mean in practice? 
4. If you encounter a conflict between your faith and the Constitution and laws of the United States, how would you resolve it? Has that happened, in your experience? 
5. (a) Would you have any hesitation about appointing a Muslim to the federal bench? (b) What about an atheist? 
6. Are Mormons Christians, in your view? Should the fact that Mitt Romney and Jon Huntsman are Mormons influence how we think of them as candidates? 
7. What do you think of the evangelical Christian movement known as Dominionism and the idea that Christians, and only Christians, should hold dominion over the secular institutions of the earth? 
8. (a) What is your attitude toward the theory of evolution? (b) Do you believe it should be taught in public schools? 
9. Do you believe it is proper for teachers to lead students in prayer in public schools?

I don't know about all of you but I would LOVE to hear the answers to these questions, ESPECIALLY from Bachmann and Perry, and of course Palin if she were ignorant enough to throw her hat into the ring.

Already the recent journalistic focus on Dominionism has started to freak the Evangelicals out a little, as evidenced by this complete denial of its existence by disgraced "Right Hand of God" Ralph Reed.

Hey, in my opinion if they are really secure in their faith, and proud of their religious convictions, they should be proud to discuss them in the public forum.

I mean it's not like they have something to hide, right?

While discussing the top GOP candidates, Jack Cafferty wants to know "Why does America seem allergic to brains?"

Okay I am having some real difficulty buying into Cafferty's assertion that Ron Paul is "talking sense," but other than that his assessment of the frontrunners is dead on.

(H/T to Mediaite.)

You know it really damages President Obama's credibility that he constantly uses a teleprompter. I mean it is not like EVERYBODY uses a teleprompter. Right?

What am I thinking?

Clearly THESE people are using the teleprompter in a very pro-American, pro-Capitalist  manner. Unlike the President who always uses it like a sneaky Socialist.

The GOP candidates weigh in on the fall of Qaddafi's regime in Libya. Great, they can admit they were wrong and finally give President Obama credit! Wait, what?

Now that the situation in Libya seems to have vindicated President Obama, the GOP Presidential hopefuls are left in the ticklish predicament of having to cheer the accomplishment of America's military, and NOT accidentally give Obama any of the credit.

Let's see how they did:

Rick Santorum: “Ridding the world of the likes of Gadhafi is a good thing, but this indecisive President had little to do with this triumph.” 

Mitt Romney: “The world is about to be rid of Muammar el-Qaddafi, the brutal tyrant who terrorized the Libyan people. It is my hope that Libya will now move toward a representative form of government that supports freedom, human rights, and the rule of law. As a first step, I call on this new government to arrest and extradite the mastermind behind the bombing of Pan Am 103, Abdelbaset Mohmed Ali al-Megrahi, so justice can finally be done.” 

Rick Perry: “The crumbling of Muammar Ghadafi’s reign, a violent, repressive dictatorship with a history of terrorism, is cause for cautious celebration. The lasting impact of events in Libya will depend on ensuring rebel factions form a unified, civil government that guarantees personal freedoms, and builds a new relationship with the West where we are allies instead of adversaries.” 

Michele Bachmann weighed in, also refusing to credit the administration or NATO: “I opposed U.S. military involvement in Libya and I am hopeful that our intervention there is about to end. I also hope the progress of events in Libya will ultimately lead to a government that honors the rule of law, respects the people of Libya and their yearning for freedom, and one that will be a good partner to the United States and the international community.” 

You know I was trying to think what exactly ALL of the GOP candidates had in common, and now I know what it is.  They are all assholes! 

Quotes courtesy of Think Progress.

New Hampshire Straw Poll puts things back into perspective.

Courtesy of Hampton-North Hampton Patch:

Ron Paul got a great birthday present Saturday, as the 76-year-old defeated 11 other Republicans in Saturday's New Hampshire Young Republicans Straw Poll. 

Paul, a congressman from Texas, won a commanding 45 percent of the vote and bested runner-up Mitt Romney by 35 percent despite not attending the event, which was held in New Castle and also included a lobster bake. 

There were 302 ballots cast Saturday, and the full vote results are as follows, in the order the candidates were listed on the ballot: 

Jon Huntsman - 3 percent ; 
Herman Cain - 5 percent; 
Rick Perry - 8 percent; 
Fred Karger - 0 percent ; 
Paul - 45 percent; 
Mitt Romney - 10 percent; 
Thaddeus McCotter - 8 percent; 
Rick Santorum - 3 percent; 
Michele Bachmann - 5 percent; 
Buddy Roemer - 3 percent; 
Gary Johnson - 6 percent; 
and Newt Gingrich - 1 percent.

It appears that as we go farther east, Dominionism does not have quite the same cachet as it did in Iowa.

As you can see Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry, and Rick Santorum barely caused a ripple.

Of course as we well know NONE of these straw polls really mean a damn thing. However I think it is worth noting whose name received too few votes to even deserve mention in BOTH contests.

It seems like the whole country is pretty much over Snowdrift Snooki, with the exception of those poor souls trapped on that rocky outcropping in the middle of the Sea O'Pee.

NewBusted Fr.19Aug11 (video, 2m33s)

video source: http://youtu.be/Igrrdh16dyg

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Texas apologizes for Rick Perry. Well I should think so!

(H/T to Politicususa for the video.)


Well I appreciate the thought Texas, but you will have to do better than that! I mean seriously, WTF?

Rick Perry, or "Governor Good Hair" as Molly Ivins referred to him, may be perhaps the most dangerous Teabagger in the Republican party at this point in time.

He is George W. Bush with fewer functioning brain cells, Rick Santorum with even more hatred toward women, and Sarah Palin with slightly larger clitoris.

In other words he is all of the bad fixins of the Tea Party, rolled up in a spicy Texas tortilla, and molded to look like George Bush if he had his Id set free after shotgunning Dr. Jeckyl's potion.

But the slack jawed, knuckle dragging, dimwit is more than just a simple minded, anti-government, secessionist, with a chimp like face.

"How come everybody always looks at me like that when I say Evolution's not real?"

 He is an extremely aggressive campaigner, who has a reputation for grinding his opponents under the wheels of his metaphorical monster truck. and whose many failings sound like the masturbatory fantasies of today's Teabagging GOP:

Perry has flaws, huge flaws. Not the least of which is that he presided over the execution of one of his constituents, Cameron Todd Willingham, who was probably innocent. But I’m not sure that's a liability in today's Tea Party–obsessed GOP. There’s a legend in Lone Star politics that one of Perry’s Republican rivals in Texas tested the Willingham issue in a focus group. One Republican man, the story goes, squinted and said, “Well, I like that. Takes a lot of balls to execute an innocent man.” At that moment, folks say, Perry’s rival knew opposing him was fruitless.

However, besides the fact when we close our eyes and listen to him speak he sounds EXACTLY like the guy who fucked this country up in the first place, the thing that might REALLY derail Perry's run at the nomination is his much vaunted, yet completely overblown, ability to create jobs. Which is so important to his campaign that he even had it stenciled, Sarah Palin style, on his rather uninspiring bus.

Here let Paul Krugman explain it to you:

Still, does Texas job growth point the way to faster job growth in the nation as a whole? No. 

What Texas shows is that a state offering cheap labor and, less important, weak regulation can attract jobs from other states. I believe that the appropriate response to this insight is “Well, duh.” The point is that arguing from this experience that depressing wages and dismantling regulation in America as a whole would create more jobs — which is, whatever Mr. Perry may say, what Perrynomics amounts to in practice — involves a fallacy of composition: every state can’t lure jobs away from every other state. 

In fact, at a national level lower wages would almost certainly lead to fewer jobs — because they would leave working Americans even less able to cope with the overhang of debt left behind by the housing bubble, an overhang that is at the heart of our economic problem. 

So when Mr. Perry presents himself as the candidate who knows how to create jobs, don’t believe him. His prescriptions for job creation would work about as well in practice as his prayer-based attempt to end Texas’s crippling drought.

So much for that.

However will Rick Perry most likely overshadow Michele "Watch me eat a corndog" Bachmann?

Yes, he will.

Does he present a REAL challenge to the equally follicly resplendent Mitt Romney?

Yup.

Will he eventually win the GOP nomination?

Hell if I know!

That depends on just how much control the Teabagger-Borg now exerts over the Republican party.

If the rootin' tootin' Yosemite Sam faction of the party now has a death grip on the steering wheel, and is determined to "drive this bitch over a cliff," than Rick Perry is going to be standing on the debate stage next to President Obama, Thesaurus in hand, as he tries to figure out "what in the sam hill" the President just said that made him look like such a fucking imbecile.

However if the Grand Ole Party kicks the frat boys to the curb, and starts thinking with their wallets instead of their dicks, they will certainly choose Mitt Romney, who will actually be able to stand on the stage and sound reasonably competent.

I mean yeah he'll still lose, since the Evangelicals hate his Mormon Tabernacle ass and he puts audiences to sleep faster than warm milk spiked with Ambien, but at least he will not embarrass the entire party before he goes down for the count.

That said, I am still not taking my eyes off of Rick Perry for an instant.  Just like Sarah Palin, I think he could be a very dangerous individual to have running lose across this nation, even if he does NOT get the nomination.

Interesting analysis of the top three GOP frontrunners and Rick Perry's chances of emerging victorious.

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I don't watch Chris Matthews very often anymore, but I caught this one today and I was caught somewhat off guard by Jennifer Donahue's predictions concerning these three GOP hopefuls.

I am not sure if she is right, but she makes a very compelling case.

I am interested in what all of you think.

Here are the Iowa Straw Poll results. Try to act excited.

Courtesy of the LA Times:

1. Congresswoman Michele Bachmann (4823, 28.55%) 

2. Congressman Ron Paul (4671, 27.65%) 

3. Governor Tim Pawlenty (2293, 13.57%) 

4. Senator Rick Santorum (1657, 9.81%) 

5. Herman Cain (1456, 8.62%) 

6. Governor Rick Perry (718, 3.62%) write-in 

7. Governor Mitt Romney (567, 3.36%) 

8. Speaker Newt Gingrich (385, 2.28%) 

9. Governor Jon Huntsman (69, 0.41%) 

10. Congressman Thad McCotter (35, 0.21%) 

Well Michele Bachmann won which should come as no surprise to ANYONE. She is the flavor of the moment and she is a fellow Iowan, which gives her an advantage.

And that was BEFORE everybody watched her eat her corndog.

I have to say that I am somewhat surprised that Tim Pawlenty and Rick Santorum (Or as I call them Dweedle dipshit and Dweedle Dumbass), came in third and fourth, right after Ron Paul's second place showing.

I find it amazing that the press gives this stupid poll so much attention when the top five winners don't even have a snowball's chance in hell of getting the nomination.  

What I think might be somewhat newsworthy is that Rick Perry, who was not an official name on the poll and only declared his candidacy this morning, was able to win a sixth place position as a WRITE IN. That should really cause the eventual nominee Mitt Romney some sleepless nights.

All of this media attention these candidates are getting must be driving Palin CRAZY, I wonder what she could possibly do to get them to look in her direction?  

 
Of course, what was I thinking?

Like a Herpes infection that is never really under control, Sarah Palin bursts back into view.

Get a load of this patented Palin moosecrap courtesy of the LA Times:

Palin said the timing of her visit was coincidental, that she had been invited to the fair for a couple years and was able to incorporate it into her "One Nation" bus tour that she has been sporadically conducting this summer. But she noted that it was important for candidates to spend time in the early-voting states. 

"I am here as an invited guest of people who have asked me to come [to the fair] the last couple years, part of the 'One Nation Tour,' getting to highlight an all-Americana historical venue we have here at the state fair, but at the same time getting to learn a lot more about what's important to Iowa and that's helpful too," she said, after touring the cattle barn. 

(Yes just like it was a "coincidence" when she showed up in New Hampshire as Romney announced the beginning of his campaign back in June.)

Palin said she did not plan on attending the Straw Poll. 

"I don't want to step on anybody's toes, so we won't be in the state tomorrow," Palin said, smiling. "We'll already be on the bus heading out." 

 (Yeah "heading out" all the way back to Wasilla I would imagine. She has Piper with her, and Piper starts school on Tuesday. Plus let's face it NO camera crews, means NO Sarah Palin!)


Palin laughed and didn't answer when asked if supporters should write in her name at the contest at Iowa State University. Palin declined to say who her supporters should cast ballots for in her place, and said it is too early for her to decide who to support if she doesn't run. 

"I'm a believer in ABO – Anybody But Obama," she said. "There's still a long time in this process to hear everybody's ideas, to more fully understand what their experience is before I would jump out at this early date and say I would support any of them over anybody else." 

(Translation: "That SarahPAC golden goose is not done dropping eggs quite yet! I am going to keep right on playing the political prick tease until the donations run dry and the last reporter walks off in disgust. CHA-CHING, CHA-CHING, baby!")
 
Palin pledged to run a different kind of campaign if she jumps in. 

"Each campaign that I've ever run in these 20 years of elected office has been kind of unconventional, right, Todd?" Palin said, turning to her husband. "I've always been outspent 2:1, 5:1, 10:1. I never won any polls heading into election night but usually won the election." 

("Usually won the election?" Well I guess that explains Palin's time spent as Murkowski's Lt. Governor, and that she is currently serving as our Vice President. Oh, I guess "usually" actually translates into "occasionally.")


"It would be unconventional and very grass-roots, very grass-roots," she said. "I wouldn't be out there looking for hires out of that political bubble that seem to result in the same ideas, same old talking points, the things that Americans get so sick and tired of hearing and kind of suffering through. We want new! We want new energy, we want conviction and passion and candidness, even if through that candidates make mistakes."

You know I hate to speak for Americans, and don't think anyone else should either, but what I think they are looking for is less "conviction" and "passion," and more "sanity" and "intelligence." But hey, that's just me.


By the way it should come as no surprise to any of us that Palin has only been in Iowa for less than a day and has also stuck her high heeled foot in her mouth.


That's our Klondike Kardashian for you, if somebody says something stupid she has to rush over to double down on it.

By the way I really think my Herpes reference might actually be more than just a metaphor.  I would pay big bucks to see somebody run up and rub Zovirex on her forehead just to see if she shriveled up and shrank from sight.

Now that would be worth the national coverage!

Talking Points Memo has a MUST SEE highlight reel of the Republican debate from last night.

Just in case you thought I exaggerated with my earlier post.

By the way I just have to say I that I think Bachmann won the debate when she reminded the panel that SHE introduced the "Lightbulb Freedom of Choice Act."  I mean seriously, which one of THEM has done anything even remotely as important?

(I know a lot of you have asked me to post the bit from the Daily Show about this Ames poll, and I will later, but I really thought that this video was actually funnier and more entertaining. Which is especially humorous because this bunch of nincompoops actually thought they were convincing Americans that they could be President.)

"I'm the worst possible choice for this country! No, I am! I hate this country! I hate it more!" Last night's GOP debate in a nutshell.

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I was only able to watch a little of this three ring circus, because I have a doctor's note that excuses me from watching too much Fox news since it dramatically impairs my ability to engage in rational thought.

However what I did see was MORE than enough to convince me that we need to work our little progressive asses off to make sure that President Obama gets reelected, and that not ONE of this simple minded douchebags should be allowed anywhere near the White House!

Seriously I don't care HOW disappointed you are in this President, or how frustrated you are that he did not wave his magic negro wand and solve all of the nation's problems like you convinced yourself he would, from what I saw last night he is this country's only hope of not ending up looking like a real life version of a "Mad Max" movie.

These are the scariest bunch of lunatics I have seen gathered on one stage since I watched patients at the Alaska Psychiatric Institute put on their version of a "Midsummer Night's Dream." (Not bad really.  I especially enjoyed the part where the actor playing Puck forgot his lines and kept asking if anybody in the audience had a copy of Shakespeare with them.)

Hearing these slack jawed candy asses claim that they would NOT raise taxes even if they were promised ten spending cuts for each tax hike made my frontal lobe scream for mercy.

I know these people are smarter than that (except for Michele Bachmann who is only about six brain cells away from having to have a cork stuck to the end of her fork) and yet they refuse to stand up to Grover Norquist and the Teabaggers, and tell the voters the truth about what it will take to fix this nation's economy.  That was a shameful display.

There were a FEW glimmers of intelligence, such as Jon Huntsman saying that he would repeal NCLB, but for the most part this appeared to a contest to see who could act like the most ignorant man on the stage.

In fact these wannabe leaders of the free world had dumbed themselves down to such a degree that having Sarah "all you need is common sense" Palin and Rick "I can't figure it out so let's pray for a solution"Perry join them onstage might actually have RAISED the combined Intelligence Quotient.

Yeah, it was THAT bad! 

Now if you will excuse me I have to write a check to the Barack Obama reelection campaign.

Despite the rhetoric coming from the GOP not ONE current Republican candidate, or potential Republican candiate, has a snowball's chance in hell against President Obama in 2012.

In a side by side match up with each of the potential Republican Presidential candidates for 2012, essentially Obama eats their lunch for them according to Real Clear Politics.

Here is the breakdown.


Against Mitt Romney, who will surely emerge from the primary much more battered, bruised, and politically damaged than he is right now, President Obama polls at 4.3% higher in a potential 2012 election match up.

(By the way, Romney is in fact the GOP's best hope.)

Against Libertarian favorite Ron Paul, President Obama enjoys a 9.8% lead in the polls.

(But believe me the American people do NOT yet know about the racism, crazy conspiracy theories, and batshit crazy ideas.  Once those come to light, Paul's chances shrink to somewhere between "slim," and his buddy "none.")

Against "Let God handle it" Rick Perry, President Obama maintains a very comfortable 11.6% lead.

(The thing about Perry is the farther away from him you are, the better he looks politically.  But up close?)

Tim "TimPaw" Pawlenty is nowhere even close to providing a challenge with Obama leading him at 12.3%.

(You know I was going to write more about Pawlenty, but I kept nodding off.  I understand that when sheep suffer from insomnia they count TimPaw's boring public statements until they fall asleep.)

Michele Bachmann is trailing right behind Mr. Ho-hum with the President enjoying a 12.4% lead over the batshit crazy, "pray away the gay" lady.

"I can't believe my numbers are that high. Maybe batshit is the new black."

Now Jon "The other Mormon" Huntsman is trailing behind Obama by about 14%.

(You might as well get used to seeing the picture above, because if Huntsman looks like he is actually presenting a challenge to any of the other GOP candidates, you will see it showing up in third party TV ads over and over again.)

Herman Cain and Newt Gingrich share the seventh spot, both trailing the President with an embarrassing 14.7%.

(After over thirty years in politics, I can only imagine how thrilled Gingrich is to be tied with the Godfather's Pizza guy!)

Okay well that is just about everybody, and NOBODY (With the possible exception of Mitt Romney) has any real shot against our President in a head to head match up.

Wait! Somebody IS missing. (Oh my God, who could possibly be lower than 14.7% this early in the polling?  They must have ZERO name recognition or something!)

In fact it is lower. MUCH lower.

In a match up with President Obama, everyone's favorite teabagging reality star, trails by a whopping 20%.

That's right Palin-bots, your idol trails the President by 20% and is in absolutely the LAST place on the list of potential GOP Presidential contenders for 2012, when it comes to viability.

You know somebody, the person's name escapes me right now, said that "2012 can't come soon enough."

I could not agree more.

(P.S. I just noticed that Santorum is not even on the list so I am guessing that he polled even lower than Snowdrift Snooki.  Ouch, that has to hurt!)

The return of the "Vaguely Bearded One."

Courtesy of Boston.com:

Joe Miller, a former US Senate candidate from Alaska, has been spending his days in his law offices in Fairbanks with an almost singular focus: making sure fellow Republican Mitt Romney does not win his party’s presidential nomination.

Miller, through a little-known group called the Western Representation PAC, is planning a $500,000 ad campaign with a chief goal of dirtying up the national front-runner - in terms that are far more personal and aggressive than Romney’s rivals for the nomination have used.

“Right now [our focus] is making sure that Romney, who’s very clearly a RINO, doesn’t walk away with the nomination,’’ said Miller, using the acronym for Republican In Name Only. “We’re trying to save the country. And with Romney at the helm, it’s not going to get saved. Romney is just going to be a disaster for this country.’’

Interesting, Miller seems to believe that President Obama is the worst thing to happen to this country since they cancelled Hee-Haw," so he attempts to sabotage the potential candidacy of one of the few politicians in the GOP who might actually have a chance against him in the general election.  Brilliant.

You know this is not the first time that Miller has used dirty tricks in an attempt to subvert the will of the Republican party.

Back in March of 2008, Miller did something similar in Alaska:

Whitaker, a former Republican state legislator, said Miller got in trouble in March 2008 for misusing borough computers. Miller was the Interior regional chairman of the Republican Party at the time and, along with then-Gov. Sarah Palin, was trying have Randy Ruedrich replaced as party chair at the annual GOP convention.

Those revelations, and others like it, cost Miller the election in 2010, and sent him scurrying back into the shadows of political oblivion.  (Well except for a gig as a speaker on a birther boat trip to Batshit-ville that is.)

By the way it is worth remembering that Miller's attempts back in 2008 to oust Republican chairman Randy Ruederich met with abject failure.  And that was WITH the help of the then popular Governor Sarah Palin.

Personally having the Republicans viciously fighting amongst themselves does not bother me one little bit.

After all, not one of them has any real chance against the President in 2012, but if they want to weaken their party so substantially that it will only end up with 30% of the vote, who am I to argue with them?

What makes you think that Michele Bachmann is trying to steal Sarah Palin's mojo? I mean besides everything?

The idea that Michele Bachmann is ACTIVELY trying to supplant the Grizzled Mama in Teabagger hearts is simply ridiculous.  Bachmann even said so herself a  few days ago.

"They want to see two girls come together and have a mud wrestling fight, and I am not going to give that to them," Bachmann told a voter Wednesday who asked about her relationship with the former Alaska governor.

See media? No mud wrestling! (Even though from a purely male perspective that would be pretty AWESOME! Sorry, had a little testosterone surge there.)

So get over it media.  Just because they sound alike, screw up historical facts alike, and dress alike,

sometimes exactly alike, it does NOT mean that Michele is trying to rip Sarah Palin off.

So just relax and enjoy watching Bachmann launch her Presidential campaign with her bus tour, and....

what?

Oh come on!  ALL candidates have a bus that they ride around on to meet the voters.  Why must we compare Bachmann's bus to....

Wow, they are similar aren't they? Are those even different buses, or did she actually steal Palin's bus and repaint it?

Well forget about the buses, because beyond that they have very little in common. And I am sure that most political observers would agree with me on that.

I'm sorry Sarah Jones, of Politicususa, what is that you are saying?

Both Bachmann and Palin are GOP puppets; religious extremists dressed up, puffed up and pushed out, sold to the highest bidder to put a pretty face on ugly ideas. Both women seem nice enough from afar, both are ostensibly good mothers from afar, both are absolutely hypocritical on almost every issue they purport to stand for and too ignorant to know it. Both are wildly over-confident, in the way that can only come from a small mind that cannot conceive of larger issues beyond the self-aggrandizing, unregulated id that drives them.

Both women bring out the worst in our culture. Both appeal to the lurking sexism, hooking it with a wink and bringing all women down into the mud with them if we dare call them out on it. Yes, if we dare say a word, we are then labeled ugly haters or “fat”. It’s as if we are back in Junior High, only I never knew anyone so shameless and tawdry as either of these two women in Junior High. It offends me to even address their vulgar cries for attention via their sexuality.

Oookay, well perhaps I misspoke. 

Fine, I guess Bristol IS right for once and Bachmann is copying her mother (And doing it better by the way), but SURELY Sarah Palin is a big enough person to let it slide and simply enjoy what she has going for her. 

You know like Bristol's very successful book tour.  Oh that's right.

Well how about her new film?  It's not like her supporters have to fake attendance numbers in order to make it seem more pop...oooh that's going to leave a mark.

Okay well Sarah Palin has "tough skin" so I imagine like any Mama Grizzly whose life is in the shitter she is taking all of this in stride, right?

Did anybody else just lose the feeling in their testicles? (Look away, Gryphen, look away!)

Yeah somehow I think that things might be a little chilly at Casa De Grizzly for he next several weeks.

Now if only no OTHER potential candidates do anything to piss her off, or make her feel like even more of a loser, things might just settle down.

From Politico:

Mitt Romney is slated to have private sit-downs with top officials while he's fundraising in London next week, potentially including Prime Minister David Cameron, per the Globe.

The story raises the possibility of a get-together with Margaret Thatcher, which would be noteworthy on a few levels - including her recent reported refusal to take a meeting with Sarah Palin. (Thatcher's office reportedly denied two British papers' stories that there was an intended snub by the elderly former politician) .

Somewhere in Wasilla a refrigerator just screamed in terror.