Just for laughs. The Republican candidate flow chart.

Sometimes you have to just laugh at the GOP circus as it rolls into town.

Of course later there will be those huge piles of elephant shit that somebody needs to shovel off of the streets, but for right now we can just enjoy the show.

Rick Perry shows what a man he is by bullying 76 year old Ron Paul!

These are pictures taken during a commercial break in the Republican debate.

Notice that he has grabbed hold of Paul's wrist.

What do you think he needed to lean in so close to say? I doubt it was reasonable.

Jon Huntsman decides to step in between them to protect Ron Paul.

I fucking hate bullies!  And though I am not sure what was said here, I can certainly tell from Perry's body language that he was trying to intimidate Ron Paul, who might be a nut, but he is a harmless nut, and does NOT deserve to be disrespected in this manner!

(Big Hat tip to Market Ticker Forum.)

Update: I have no idea if this means I have slipped into an alternate universe or just eaten a batch of bad mushrooms, but somehow I found myself in agreement with the Sea O'Pee on Rick Perry and his bullying techniques.  I will try to make sure that NEVER happens again.

I mean talk about "jumping the shark!"

Just in case you missed it, here is the ENTIRE Republican debate from earlier tonight. With a side order of tweets!

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

I have to say that I actually had fun watching this.

I really like watching Republicans go for each others jugular.

I tweeted my fingers to the bone during this debate, so rather than write up a whole long post concerning my opinion about who won, who lost, and who said the stupidest thing, I will just let you read my highly informative, truly inspired, and potentially libelous tweets. (And remember, I MAY have been drinking during the debate.)

Perry is talking. I am pinching myself to remind me I am not having a nightmare about George W. Bush. 

Matthews should be happy. Romney is trying to kick Perry in the balls. He is missing, but he is trying. 

Okay Romney landed one. Does Perry believe he is responsible for the oil in the ground in Texas?

Wait is that Santorum? Here let me Google him to make sure. 

Herman Cain is going for the applause lines. Why do I crave deep dish pizza all of the sudden? 

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! It is "Crazy time with Bachmann!" I LOVE this show! 

Is she blaming the economy on "Obamacare?" Uh seriously?(Which by the way does not even start to kick in until 2013.)

Well who could possibly out crazy Bachmann? Mr. Paul, you are up. 

Oh Brian Williams is going to get some nasty e-mails tonight! How dare he confront the leprechaun of Libertarianism. 

Uh oh, I think Newt is working for the Perry campaign! 

Perry smells Romney blood in the water. "Did somebody say healthcare?" he drawls. 

Let's sum up Romney's defense. "MY healthcare plan good. Obama healthcare plan bad!" 

"Why are people uninsured in Texas?" Perry "Federal government." WTF? 

I think Bachamnn just said something smart. I am looking out of the window for locusts and fiery rain. 

Newt is attacking the moderators! Quick load up the tranquilizer guns! (Yelled at Brain Williams and that Politco guy to not attempt to make Republicans disagree with each other. I am not sure that Newt understands the concept of a "debate.")

The journalists are "protecting" Barack Obama? When did that happen? 

Santorum is speaking in the third person again. 

Holy crap! Rick Perry just looked through my television at me. Yeah, I don't like that! 

Romney will not say that Bachmann crazy. Pansy! 

Paul just kicked Perry in his "Hillarycare" supporting balls. 

Ron Paul just jumped the shark with his condemnation of Reagan policies in the eighties. I guess he was ALWAYS on that side of the shark. 

Yeah Rick Perry, why do you hate old people? (Called Social Security a "Ponzi scheme.")

Perry attacks Karl Rove? Ooh that is going to leave a mark! 

Romney found chink in the Perry armor. 

Oh NOW Perry does not want to fight. Yeah, that is how bullies ALWAYS respond. 

Herman Cain is talking about the Chile model. Why is that man always making me hungry? 

Funniest line thus far. Ron Paul saying "I as President." 

I think I have to agree with Perry about the HPV vaccine. I hate myself for it, but I do. 

Romney is supporting Perry on the HPV vaccine. Crap I hate it when they stop fighting! 

Why is Newt talking about WMDs again? Somebody get the man a calendar. 

Paul hates people affected by natural disasters. What did people do before FEMA? They died. 

Huntsman wants to talk about something important. And his tan is VERY Presidential. He wins points with me. 

Newt offers solution to education. "Get rid of public education!" So simple, why didn't anybody else think of that? 

Hey! How come the Hispanic moderator does not get a chair? 

Romney wants a border fence. That is just for YOU Teabaggers. Romney loves you, don't forget. 

Wow, Romney just went full Teabagger! 

Santorum punts the immigration issue concerning the illegals already in the country. 

Hispanics wants us to stop helping illegal aliens? "Screw you Uncle Jesus, get your green card!" (Bachmann claimed to have spoken to Hispanics who did not want Federal dollars spent on illegal immigrants in this country.)

Wow everything is so simple for Herman Cain. He is either a genius, or Herman Cain. 

Paul going after the drug laws. The stoner voting block is his for the asking. 

Ron Paul said that those border fences might keep us from vacationing in Peurto Vallarta. I KNEW those fences weren't for the Mexicans! (Ron Paul had said the border fences are to keep Americans in.)

Romney says he IS member of Tea Party. Baggers say "Nuh uh!" 

Bachmann is trying to channel Reagan. Nancy looks doubtful. 

Huntsman says no to pledges and immediately starts to lose his voice. Somewhere Grover Nordquist is choking a voodoo doll. 

Bachmann: "Obama is weakening our military." Yes because killing terrorists makes the rest of the world think we are push overs. 

Huntsman defends science? I thought he was a Republican? 

Perry grabbed the scientists by the scruff of the neck and throws them under his big ole Texas bus. Now that is a Republican!  (In response to Perry saying that the findings on climate science are not agreed to by most scientists.)


(I did correct a few spelling mistakes, but for the most part those are my tweets as tweeted in the heat of the moment.)

While discussing the top GOP candidates, Jack Cafferty wants to know "Why does America seem allergic to brains?"

Okay I am having some real difficulty buying into Cafferty's assertion that Ron Paul is "talking sense," but other than that his assessment of the frontrunners is dead on.

(H/T to Mediaite.)

Here are the Iowa Straw Poll results. Try to act excited.

Courtesy of the LA Times:

1. Congresswoman Michele Bachmann (4823, 28.55%) 

2. Congressman Ron Paul (4671, 27.65%) 

3. Governor Tim Pawlenty (2293, 13.57%) 

4. Senator Rick Santorum (1657, 9.81%) 

5. Herman Cain (1456, 8.62%) 

6. Governor Rick Perry (718, 3.62%) write-in 

7. Governor Mitt Romney (567, 3.36%) 

8. Speaker Newt Gingrich (385, 2.28%) 

9. Governor Jon Huntsman (69, 0.41%) 

10. Congressman Thad McCotter (35, 0.21%) 

Well Michele Bachmann won which should come as no surprise to ANYONE. She is the flavor of the moment and she is a fellow Iowan, which gives her an advantage.

And that was BEFORE everybody watched her eat her corndog.

I have to say that I am somewhat surprised that Tim Pawlenty and Rick Santorum (Or as I call them Dweedle dipshit and Dweedle Dumbass), came in third and fourth, right after Ron Paul's second place showing.

I find it amazing that the press gives this stupid poll so much attention when the top five winners don't even have a snowball's chance in hell of getting the nomination.  

What I think might be somewhat newsworthy is that Rick Perry, who was not an official name on the poll and only declared his candidacy this morning, was able to win a sixth place position as a WRITE IN. That should really cause the eventual nominee Mitt Romney some sleepless nights.

All of this media attention these candidates are getting must be driving Palin CRAZY, I wonder what she could possibly do to get them to look in her direction?  

 
Of course, what was I thinking?

Despite the rhetoric coming from the GOP not ONE current Republican candidate, or potential Republican candiate, has a snowball's chance in hell against President Obama in 2012.

In a side by side match up with each of the potential Republican Presidential candidates for 2012, essentially Obama eats their lunch for them according to Real Clear Politics.

Here is the breakdown.


Against Mitt Romney, who will surely emerge from the primary much more battered, bruised, and politically damaged than he is right now, President Obama polls at 4.3% higher in a potential 2012 election match up.

(By the way, Romney is in fact the GOP's best hope.)

Against Libertarian favorite Ron Paul, President Obama enjoys a 9.8% lead in the polls.

(But believe me the American people do NOT yet know about the racism, crazy conspiracy theories, and batshit crazy ideas.  Once those come to light, Paul's chances shrink to somewhere between "slim," and his buddy "none.")

Against "Let God handle it" Rick Perry, President Obama maintains a very comfortable 11.6% lead.

(The thing about Perry is the farther away from him you are, the better he looks politically.  But up close?)

Tim "TimPaw" Pawlenty is nowhere even close to providing a challenge with Obama leading him at 12.3%.

(You know I was going to write more about Pawlenty, but I kept nodding off.  I understand that when sheep suffer from insomnia they count TimPaw's boring public statements until they fall asleep.)

Michele Bachmann is trailing right behind Mr. Ho-hum with the President enjoying a 12.4% lead over the batshit crazy, "pray away the gay" lady.

"I can't believe my numbers are that high. Maybe batshit is the new black."

Now Jon "The other Mormon" Huntsman is trailing behind Obama by about 14%.

(You might as well get used to seeing the picture above, because if Huntsman looks like he is actually presenting a challenge to any of the other GOP candidates, you will see it showing up in third party TV ads over and over again.)

Herman Cain and Newt Gingrich share the seventh spot, both trailing the President with an embarrassing 14.7%.

(After over thirty years in politics, I can only imagine how thrilled Gingrich is to be tied with the Godfather's Pizza guy!)

Okay well that is just about everybody, and NOBODY (With the possible exception of Mitt Romney) has any real shot against our President in a head to head match up.

Wait! Somebody IS missing. (Oh my God, who could possibly be lower than 14.7% this early in the polling?  They must have ZERO name recognition or something!)

In fact it is lower. MUCH lower.

In a match up with President Obama, everyone's favorite teabagging reality star, trails by a whopping 20%.

That's right Palin-bots, your idol trails the President by 20% and is in absolutely the LAST place on the list of potential GOP Presidential contenders for 2012, when it comes to viability.

You know somebody, the person's name escapes me right now, said that "2012 can't come soon enough."

I could not agree more.

(P.S. I just noticed that Santorum is not even on the list so I am guessing that he polled even lower than Snowdrift Snooki.  Ouch, that has to hurt!)

Rachel Maddow has waaay too much fun with the launch of Jon Huntsman's Presidential campaign yesterday.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

I have heard a number of times that THIS is the guy that the Obama administration worries about the most.

Personally I don't think they have much to worry about.