Beige meets Off White as Tim Pawlenty injects a little...a little...well whatever is the opposite of "excitement" into the Mitt Romney campaign.

"You're just kidding that I have to wear the magic underwear right Mitt?"

Courtesy of The New York Times:

Mr. Pawlenty, the former governor of Minnesota who ended his quest for the Republican nomination last month, chose Mr. Romney over Gov. Rick Perry of Texas, whom he was close to from their years serving on the Republican Governors Association. 

Many of Mr. Pawlenty’s contributors and supporters had been waiting for a signal from him in the escalating contest between Mr. Romney and Mr. Perry. And Mr. Pawlenty had been looking for help in retiring a campaign debt of at least $500,000. 

In a statement announcing Mr. Pawlenty as a national co-chairman of his campaign, Mr. Romney said: “Tim will be a trusted adviser as I move forward with my campaign. Tim has always been an advocate for lower taxes, reduced spending and an environment where jobs can be created. It is an honor to have him serve as co-chair to my campaign for the presidency.” 

Mr. Pawlenty, in an interview Monday morning on “Fox and Friends,” said of Mr. Romney, “I believe he’s going to be our party’s nominee.”

Oh yeah, THIS is what a campaign that has a mild mannered sofa cushion for a candidate does to reinvigorate their message.  Add the guy that restless sheep count jumping into a campaign at night to help them fall asleep.

The only way that Pawlenty could possibly make the Romney campaign more interesting is if Mitt lit him on fire and pushed him into a crowd of kerosene soaked Teabaggers. (I have to admit I would probably tune in for that.)

Of course now that Tim "Micheal Bay" Pawlenty is on board, he MIGHT be able to jazz up Romney's campaign commercials, and take them from this:

To this:

After all we know how much these advertisements helped Tim Pawlenty.

Wait that didn't come out right.

You know it really damages President Obama's credibility that he constantly uses a teleprompter. I mean it is not like EVERYBODY uses a teleprompter. Right?

What am I thinking?

Clearly THESE people are using the teleprompter in a very pro-American, pro-Capitalist  manner. Unlike the President who always uses it like a sneaky Socialist.

T-Paw pulls the plug on campaign.

Courtesy of the AP:

Former Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty dropped out of the race for the GOP presidential nomination on Sunday, hours after finishing a disappointing third in the Iowa straw poll. 

"I wish it would have been different, but obviously the pathway forward for me doesn't exist so we are going to end the campaign," Pawlenty said on ABC's "This Week" from Iowa. 

The low-key Midwesterner, who had struggled to gain traction in a state he had said he must win, had told supporters on a conference call shortly before the broadcast interview that he was ending his White House bid. 

"I thought I would have made a great president, but obviously that pathway isn't there," Pawlenty said. "I do believe we're going to have a very good candidate who is going to beat Barack Obama."

Those last remarks still indicate that Pawlenty is delusional, but apparently not delusional enough to stay in this race. Still I am surprised that of all the GOP wannabes in this contest that he is the first to recognize that his chances are non-existent.

After all third place was not bad at all in the "nobody gives two shits about you but the media" Ames Straw Poll. I mean the only two to beat him were Michele Bachmann (I believe purely based on her corndog eating skills by the way), and Ron Paul who seems to ALWAYS place high in the early polling of the most wingnutty members of the GOP right before the more sober minds realize he might actually become their candidate and yank him of stage with a giant hook.

Hell he beat the eventual nominee, Mitt Romney, by FOUR places, you would think that might give him a boost of confidence going forward, but I guess losing to two of the most batshit crazy candidates in the field put the overall impact of this Iowa poll on the final nomination process into perspective for ole T-Paw.

I have to say that for me personally it is a shame, because right up until this morning I had a hell of a time differentiating between Pawlenty and Santorum. But as of right now I know that Pawlenty is NOT the guy who believes that a woman who has been raped should carry her rapist's child to term. 

Okay folks time to get out your crystal balls and let's see who YOU think will be the next potential loser to Obama in 2012 to come to their senses.

Here are the Iowa Straw Poll results. Try to act excited.

Courtesy of the LA Times:

1. Congresswoman Michele Bachmann (4823, 28.55%) 

2. Congressman Ron Paul (4671, 27.65%) 

3. Governor Tim Pawlenty (2293, 13.57%) 

4. Senator Rick Santorum (1657, 9.81%) 

5. Herman Cain (1456, 8.62%) 

6. Governor Rick Perry (718, 3.62%) write-in 

7. Governor Mitt Romney (567, 3.36%) 

8. Speaker Newt Gingrich (385, 2.28%) 

9. Governor Jon Huntsman (69, 0.41%) 

10. Congressman Thad McCotter (35, 0.21%) 

Well Michele Bachmann won which should come as no surprise to ANYONE. She is the flavor of the moment and she is a fellow Iowan, which gives her an advantage.

And that was BEFORE everybody watched her eat her corndog.

I have to say that I am somewhat surprised that Tim Pawlenty and Rick Santorum (Or as I call them Dweedle dipshit and Dweedle Dumbass), came in third and fourth, right after Ron Paul's second place showing.

I find it amazing that the press gives this stupid poll so much attention when the top five winners don't even have a snowball's chance in hell of getting the nomination.  

What I think might be somewhat newsworthy is that Rick Perry, who was not an official name on the poll and only declared his candidacy this morning, was able to win a sixth place position as a WRITE IN. That should really cause the eventual nominee Mitt Romney some sleepless nights.

All of this media attention these candidates are getting must be driving Palin CRAZY, I wonder what she could possibly do to get them to look in her direction?  

 
Of course, what was I thinking?

I know I promised this yesterday but I done runned out of time. So let me present the Daily Show's Iowa Candidate Tent coverage.

The Daily Show - Indecision 2012 - Corn Polled Edition - Candidate Tent Coverage
Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,The Daily Show on Facebook

Personally I think it is still funny even on a Saturday morning.

(If the video won't play just click here.)

Talking Points Memo has a MUST SEE highlight reel of the Republican debate from last night.

Just in case you thought I exaggerated with my earlier post.

By the way I just have to say I that I think Bachmann won the debate when she reminded the panel that SHE introduced the "Lightbulb Freedom of Choice Act."  I mean seriously, which one of THEM has done anything even remotely as important?

(I know a lot of you have asked me to post the bit from the Daily Show about this Ames poll, and I will later, but I really thought that this video was actually funnier and more entertaining. Which is especially humorous because this bunch of nincompoops actually thought they were convincing Americans that they could be President.)

"I'm the worst possible choice for this country! No, I am! I hate this country! I hate it more!" Last night's GOP debate in a nutshell.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

I was only able to watch a little of this three ring circus, because I have a doctor's note that excuses me from watching too much Fox news since it dramatically impairs my ability to engage in rational thought.

However what I did see was MORE than enough to convince me that we need to work our little progressive asses off to make sure that President Obama gets reelected, and that not ONE of this simple minded douchebags should be allowed anywhere near the White House!

Seriously I don't care HOW disappointed you are in this President, or how frustrated you are that he did not wave his magic negro wand and solve all of the nation's problems like you convinced yourself he would, from what I saw last night he is this country's only hope of not ending up looking like a real life version of a "Mad Max" movie.

These are the scariest bunch of lunatics I have seen gathered on one stage since I watched patients at the Alaska Psychiatric Institute put on their version of a "Midsummer Night's Dream." (Not bad really.  I especially enjoyed the part where the actor playing Puck forgot his lines and kept asking if anybody in the audience had a copy of Shakespeare with them.)

Hearing these slack jawed candy asses claim that they would NOT raise taxes even if they were promised ten spending cuts for each tax hike made my frontal lobe scream for mercy.

I know these people are smarter than that (except for Michele Bachmann who is only about six brain cells away from having to have a cork stuck to the end of her fork) and yet they refuse to stand up to Grover Norquist and the Teabaggers, and tell the voters the truth about what it will take to fix this nation's economy.  That was a shameful display.

There were a FEW glimmers of intelligence, such as Jon Huntsman saying that he would repeal NCLB, but for the most part this appeared to a contest to see who could act like the most ignorant man on the stage.

In fact these wannabe leaders of the free world had dumbed themselves down to such a degree that having Sarah "all you need is common sense" Palin and Rick "I can't figure it out so let's pray for a solution"Perry join them onstage might actually have RAISED the combined Intelligence Quotient.

Yeah, it was THAT bad! 

Now if you will excuse me I have to write a check to the Barack Obama reelection campaign.

Despite the rhetoric coming from the GOP not ONE current Republican candidate, or potential Republican candiate, has a snowball's chance in hell against President Obama in 2012.

In a side by side match up with each of the potential Republican Presidential candidates for 2012, essentially Obama eats their lunch for them according to Real Clear Politics.

Here is the breakdown.


Against Mitt Romney, who will surely emerge from the primary much more battered, bruised, and politically damaged than he is right now, President Obama polls at 4.3% higher in a potential 2012 election match up.

(By the way, Romney is in fact the GOP's best hope.)

Against Libertarian favorite Ron Paul, President Obama enjoys a 9.8% lead in the polls.

(But believe me the American people do NOT yet know about the racism, crazy conspiracy theories, and batshit crazy ideas.  Once those come to light, Paul's chances shrink to somewhere between "slim," and his buddy "none.")

Against "Let God handle it" Rick Perry, President Obama maintains a very comfortable 11.6% lead.

(The thing about Perry is the farther away from him you are, the better he looks politically.  But up close?)

Tim "TimPaw" Pawlenty is nowhere even close to providing a challenge with Obama leading him at 12.3%.

(You know I was going to write more about Pawlenty, but I kept nodding off.  I understand that when sheep suffer from insomnia they count TimPaw's boring public statements until they fall asleep.)

Michele Bachmann is trailing right behind Mr. Ho-hum with the President enjoying a 12.4% lead over the batshit crazy, "pray away the gay" lady.

"I can't believe my numbers are that high. Maybe batshit is the new black."

Now Jon "The other Mormon" Huntsman is trailing behind Obama by about 14%.

(You might as well get used to seeing the picture above, because if Huntsman looks like he is actually presenting a challenge to any of the other GOP candidates, you will see it showing up in third party TV ads over and over again.)

Herman Cain and Newt Gingrich share the seventh spot, both trailing the President with an embarrassing 14.7%.

(After over thirty years in politics, I can only imagine how thrilled Gingrich is to be tied with the Godfather's Pizza guy!)

Okay well that is just about everybody, and NOBODY (With the possible exception of Mitt Romney) has any real shot against our President in a head to head match up.

Wait! Somebody IS missing. (Oh my God, who could possibly be lower than 14.7% this early in the polling?  They must have ZERO name recognition or something!)

In fact it is lower. MUCH lower.

In a match up with President Obama, everyone's favorite teabagging reality star, trails by a whopping 20%.

That's right Palin-bots, your idol trails the President by 20% and is in absolutely the LAST place on the list of potential GOP Presidential contenders for 2012, when it comes to viability.

You know somebody, the person's name escapes me right now, said that "2012 can't come soon enough."

I could not agree more.

(P.S. I just noticed that Santorum is not even on the list so I am guessing that he polled even lower than Snowdrift Snooki.  Ouch, that has to hurt!)