What geekery is this?

True story: I loved action figures as a kid. I know, not to surprising given my overall continued tomboy tendencies. But I LOVED them. I could play quietly for hours, lost in my own fantasy world where my Han Solo figure bickered with my Buck Rogers figure and Princess Leia went ahead and rescued Superman instead. My childhood fantasy world was kind of awesome. But being a geek then was different than being a geek now. Now it has a cache. Geeks, like bowties – if you ask The Doctor, are cool. But then, geeks were geeks. So it’s with a slightly bemused sense of satisfaction when I watched all the pretty ladies clamor to get their geek on last weekend weekend at Comic-Con.

So in celebration of everyone’s inner and outer geek, here are some lovely ladies getting geeky. Geekery, it’s not just for geeks anymore.

Alyson Hannigan

Willow will always be my favorite geek. Always.

Anna TorvThese should be Special Agent Olivia Dunham action figures, but otherwise, perfect.

Lucy LawlessWhen lesbian subtext and geek fandom collides.

Anika Noni RoseSo this is kind of more of a “doll,” but Anika looks so happy to be holding herself it’s pretty geeky.

Meryl StreepThis is her “Fantastic Mr. Fox” figure. If there was a real Meryl Streep action figure I would buy two. One to keep new in the box and another to play with. Wait, that sounded weird. Good.

Elizabeth MitchellThese aren’t technically action figures either, but getting this excited about your cake doppelgangers is's adorageeky.

Yvonne StrahovskiAlso, not an action figure. But it’s a light saber. So, you know, even better.

Sarah Michelle GellarBuffy is using Darth Vader as an armrest. Your argument is invalid.

Felicia DayIf Felicia in a squid hat doesn’t brighten your day, then you are probably not a geek.

Natalie PortmanGeeks and politics, two great things that go great together.

Karen GillanNow that is how you play with action figures.

Britt Robertson, Maggie Q, Yvonne Strahovski, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Jennifer Morrison & Anna TorvI don’t know who Britt Robertson is, but otherwise, GEEKGASM.

Check out the special Comic-Con issue of The Hollywood Reporter for more on Sarah, Anna, Yvonne, Maggie et al.

THE IRON LADY (2011) - New International Trailer

Official Synopsis: THE IRON LADY is a surprising and intimate portrait of Margaret Thatcher (Meryl Streep), the first and only female Prime Minister of The United Kingdom. One of the 20th century’s most famous and influential women, Thatcher came from nowhere to smash through barriers of gender and class to be heard in a male dominated world.

Starring: Meryl Streep, Jim Broadbent, Alexandra Roach, Harry Lloy

Director: Phyllida Lloyd ("Mamma Mia")

Screenplay: Abi Morgan ("Sex Traffic", Tsunami: The Aftermath")

Not Yet Rated

Release Date: December 16, 2011

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Your Fake TV Wife

So the other day my good friend TheLinster gave me a gentle yet firm warning to step off her woman, Elizabeth Mitchell. It was a clear and understandable setting of boundaries. Every friendship needs boundaries. It also highlighted a little-talked-about, but extremely basic tenant of relationships in this modern media age. Everyone has a Fake TV Wife, and that Fake TV Wife is off limits to her friends. I mean that’s just like The Rules of Feminism. This beyond just the Fantasy Freebie list we all have (some of us even laminated). This is about calling dibs, staking a claim, marking one’s territory. This, my friends, is serious business. Now, of course, we don’t mind if our friends appreciate our Fake TV Wives. In fact, we encourage it. Who doesn’t want a hot wife, fake or otherwise? But when it comes to the serious business of actually virtually making a move – whoa there, cowgirl. Hands off. Back away. Don’t even think about it. We take our delusional relationships very seriously here, OK.

Of course, the big caveat to the Fake TV Wife Rule is that it only applies to your friends. I mean, you would hope that strangers would also acknowledge your fictional marriage, but only the truest of friends understand the depth of one’s imaginary commitment. So with that, here is a peek into a few of my friends’ off-limits Fake TV Wives.

Me: Tina Fey, duhIf at this point you still don’t know that Tina is my Fake TV Wife, then I’m not sure we can be friends.

The Linster: Elizabeth MitchellAnd if Elizabeth is wearing a baseball cap, Linster will cut a bitch for even looking at her.

Heather Hogan: Eve MylesA Welsh accent and guns. Like Heather even had a chance.

Scribegrrrl: Meryl StreepGranted, this is more like a Fake Movie Wife, but it’s Meryl fucking Streep, so we’ll accept it.

Right, your turn. Tell me about the women you’ve promised to love, honor and cherish until death and/or reality do you part.

SGALGG: Co-Worker Edition

It’s that time of year again for office potlucks and parties. That means hours of awkward socialization with your coworkers and watching your boss get sauced while hit on the receptionist. For the love of God, someone spike the eggnog so we can make it through the holiday season. But informal interactions with your colleagues doesn’t have to be an uncomfortable exercise in stilted small talk. In fact, it could be downright enjoyable. Of course, the level of enjoyability is greatly dependent on who your co-workers are. I mean, these co-workers certainly seem friendly. And when I say “friendly,” I mean like Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals. Let Meryl Streep and Goldie Hawn, circa “She-Devil” “Death Becomes Her” (mixed up my late 80s-early 90s wacky Meryl Streep comedies) show you the way to workplace bliss. She ain’t heavy, she’s my co-worker.

Alison Brie & Gillian Jacobs, “Community”Alison tweeted that this was her preferred reading position. “Reading,” so that’s what the kids are calling it today.

Maggie Q & Lyndsy Fonseca, “Nikita”Lyndsy looks like she is blushing from Maggie whispering a passage from some particularly explicit Nikita/Alex fanfic she found online. What? I can’t be the only one who ships this, right? I mean, have you seen how many tank tops they wear?

Lena Headey & Summer Glau, “Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles”Speaking of tank tops, this show was none too shabby about getting its stars in them whenever possible.

Emily Blunt & Amy Adams, “Sunshine Cleaning”Sure, they played sisters. But that body language isn’t sisterly. Just sayin’.

Blake Lively & Leighton Meester, “Gossip Girl”It’s the old “let’s compare hand sizes”-move. Nice.

Feist & Emily Haines, Broken Social SceneIndie Rock Goddess Powers activate.

Audra McDonald & Anne Hathaway, “Twelfth Night”So much Shakespearean swoon is happening in this picture, it almost needs footnotes.

Chloe Sevigny & Ginnifer Goodwin, “Big Love”Bill Paxton who?

Jill Biden & Michelle ObamaThey make a very nice couple. No, really, I mean that. That look Michelle is giving Jill says maybe she does, too.

Naya Rivera & Dianna Agron, “Glee”Quintana, is that a thing?

Dianna Agron & Lea Michele, “Glee”Now I know Faberry/Achele is a thing. And by “thing” I mean what I replace all Quinn/Sam or Rachel/Finn scenes with in my head.

The safety of objects

Women. They are gorgeous, certainly. But just as gorgeous can be their capacity for good. And when they bring their gorgeousness and their goodness together for one project, well, that’s when you have to sit back and admire the view. Now right now I bet you’re looking for a for instance. And boy do I ever have one. The amazing Emma Thompson has proven even more amazing by launching the new website Safe for her upcoming book by the same name. The project shows famous, and in the future unfamous, women photographed in the places they feel most safe. It is a benefit for the Helen Bamber Foundation, a UK human rights group dedicated to helping victims and survivors of human trafficking. Emma has long been an advocate for the group and spoken out against sex trafficking. All sales of the book will go toward the foundation and, as Emma writes, “will help those for whom no safe place exists.”

The pictures are pretty, but the purpose is beautiful. A sneak peek.

The preview also features Vanessa Paradis, Keira Knightley, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Uma Thurman, Julie Christie, Sharon Stone, Minnie Driver, Emily Blunt, Charlotte Rampling, Rosamund Pike, Demi Moore and the entire Richardson clan (including, touchingly, Natasha). Also included in the book will be such heavy hitters as Angelina Jolie, Natalie Portman, Cate Blanchett, Oprah, Catherine Deneuve, Gong Li, Tilda Swinton, Queen Latifah…I could go on and on (check the “see who else is invited” link in the credits). And she wants you. The site solicits submissions from us about the places we feel the safest. To make it into the book, which publishes in the spring, they must be sent by October.

Really, you should just click through the preview and experience it yourself. It is lovely, moving, brilliant. Just be sure to click all the way through past the end of the credits. There’s one last surprise that, while NSFW, is well worth the wait. Now that’s a grand finale. Like I was saying, gorgeous.

UPDATE: The site appears to be temporarily down. So be sure to check back later. (OK, I think it is back up, but if it goes down again, patience. It is worth it.)

Family ties

It’s happening! It’s really happening! It’s like the skies have opened up! It’s like the heavens are weeping – WITH JOY! The Meryl Streep/Tina Fey mother-daughter movie is happening. Sony has optioned the package, which is still in the treatment stage. But who needs a full script when you have Meryl, Tina and Stanley Tucci directing? This news is so momentous, I feel like it should be a national holiday. I feel like this should be celebrated in song. Can anyone sculpt? I feel like a statue is in order. Also, is it too early to start standing in line for my ticket?

According to The Hollywood Reporter, the tentatively titled “Mommy & Me” will “spotlights the thorny and funny sides of mother-daughter relationships.” But, hell, it can spotlight whatever it wants. It’s Tina Fey. It’s Meryl Streep. If they read the phone book together for 90 minutes I’d still watch devotedly while chomping down on a tub of popcorn. In fact, the only way this movie could be more awesome is if Helen Mirren signed on to play Meryl’s lesbian lover. Oh, and then Lena Headey signed on to play Tina’s lesbian lover. What? We’re dreaming big here, people. BIG.

An expert at “putting things over on people”

OK, now I’m just bitter. I got some deadly dull Republican Congressman at my commencement and, so far, the class of 2010 has got to listen to Rachel Maddow and now Meryl Streep while sitting in billowy robes and mortar boards. I guess what I get for not attending a women’s college, or spending what amounts to the mortgage on a not-too-modest starter home for my college education. But, man, now I see how that $160,000 was worth it, because MERYL FUCKING STREEP. Deep envious sigh. So you have my undying jealously, Barnard College class of 2010. And now, because (like I said) I’m bitter, let me make you a little jealous. I don’t have any more college debt. Neener-neener.

But back to Meryl, how is it possible for her to be any cooler? Funny, warm, insightful, humble, heartfelt. I mean, who else could sum up a career as extraordinary as hers by saying:

“My success has depending wholly on my putting things over on people, so I’m not sure that parents think I’m that great a role model anyway. I am however an expert in pretending to be an expert in various areas. Just randomly, like everything else in this speech, I am an expert in kissing ... river rafting, miming the effects of radiation poisoning, knowing which shoes go with which bag, coffee plantationing, Polish, German, French, I-talian – that’s Iowa-talian, from “the Bridges of Madison Country,” bit of a brogue, bit of the Bronx – Aramaic, Yiddish, Irish clog dancing, cooking, singing, horse riding, knitting, playing the violin and simulating steamy sexual encounters. These are some of the areas in which I have pretended quite [successfully to be proficient in] ... as have many women here, I’m sure.”

Her speech, extoled the benefits of going to a women’s college, changes in men’s attitudes toward her (and all women), and women’s achievements. It’s actually quite astute. But then, it’s Meryl Streep. What else would you expect? Damn, here comes that jealousy again.

p.s. I know four whole videos seems long, but trust me, they will fly by and you will wish there were another four to watch. Deep envious sigh, again. Thanks to Anonymous 10:01 for the full video link, which is now posted. Those 28 minutes and 8 seconds will fly by, trust me.
p.p.s. Hat tip, The Linster & Anna for digging up this tremendous find in the first place.

Perfect 10

Now, to be perfectly honest, I’m normally somewhat opposed to the ranking of women solely by attractiveness. Very often, no good comes of it except scantily clad pictures of women in what will soon be sticky pages of a glossy magazine. Like I was saying, no good. But, in the spirit of representing all kinds of attractiveness, particularly from a gay sensibility, and in the spirit of listmaking, because who doesn’t love a list, I’m going to share my votes for uber hotties in this year’s AfterEllen.com Hot 100.

1. Tina FeyIf you don’t know the reasons by now, I’m going to have to assume you just haven’t been paying attention.

2. Lena HeadeyI cannot resist a sexy scowl. And no one scowls sexier than Lena, especially when she follows it up with that crooked little smile. I am a goner, baby goner.

3. Padma LakshmiIn one of my versions of heaven, I get to watch Padma lick food off her fingers for all of eternity.

4. Jodie FosterYour first lady crush is always your longest.

5. Kate WinsletI think, if at all possible, Kate keeps getting more exquisite with age. I expect add her to my personal Hot 100 from now until we’re all finally driving those flying cars we’ve been promised.

6. Olivia WildeI think Megan Fox’s greatest contribution to society so far has been the universal acknowledgment that Olivia is so hot that mountain oxen everywhere better watch the fuck out.

7. Meryl StreepSee my Kate Winslet reasoning, times 1,000.

8. Tilda SwintonWords cannot adequately describe why or how viscerally I am attracted to Tilda. Though if forced at gunpoint to sum it up in under two words I would have to go with “the hair.”

9. Jennifer BealsIn another of my versions of heaven, Jennifer bosses me around while wearing one of her Alpha Bette power suits.

10. Katie McGrathI don’t even really watch “Merlin,” but every time I happen upon it I have to stop and marvel at the unmitigated gorgeous that is Katie McGrath. She is my most recent obsession, rendering me weak and wobbly with her delicious pale skin, dark hair combo pack. Also, girl can handle a sword.

So, let’s see your lists. Objectification is so much more fun when you share the results. Don’t forget to cast your vote by Friday.

Seeing (RED)

I have had very involved, very sweaty dreams that did not result in as much wish fulfillment as this picture. Meryl Streep with Penelope Cruz , no check that – a topless Penelope Cruz. Oh, swoon. And they’re making beautiful picture together for a good cause, namely the international (RED) campaign to fight AIDS in Africa. But it doesn’t stop there. Penelope brought a bunch of her friends together (along with the incomparable Ms. Streep), to help her in her guest editing stint of the May 2010 issue of Vogue Paris. I want to go to there.

To be a fly on that wall. I realized, while studiously pouring over the photo, that all of the assembled actresses have played gay except, I believe, Gwyneth Paltrow (though she cross-dressed in “Shakespeare in Love,” for what that’s worth). So that knowledge makes the pairing even more delicious.

How are we supposed to process all the gorgeous in this picture?

(Kate Winslet & Penelope Cruz)

In this picture Gwyneth is working hard to make amends for not having played gay before.

(Gwyneth Paltrow & Penelope Cruz)

This picture is a perfect example of how a T-Shirt should be worn. Seriously, take notes.

(Naomi Watts)

I can’t wait to see her kiss Annette Bening, even if this picture makes Julianne looks like a lost waif in a wind tunnel.

(Julianne Moore)

And finally, this picture just makes me want to hug Penelope for bringing this much pretty together in one place. Also, for not wearing pants.

(Penelope Cruz)

If I must see red this Monday, this is truly the best possible way.