Who Doomed Sarah Palin's Presidential Dream?

So what, or who, is REALLY to blame for the demise of Sarah Palin's Presidential aspirations? Benjy Sarlin of Talking Points Memo thinks he has the answer.

Alaska 

The launching pad for Palin's political career may have proved its undoing as well. Her abrupt exit from the governor's office in 2009 freed her up to make million < s as a speaker, author, and general celebrity, but all but destroyed any hopes of building up a credible resume for a presidential run. 

The Establishment GOP 

Palin relishes her role as an outsider, going back to her days battling the "old boys' network" of entrenched Republican officials in Alaska. Her willingness to buck party leaders dovetailed nicely with the rise of the insurgent Tea Party, but earned her the enmity of establishment Republican figures like Karl Rove, who has questioned her electability at every turn. 

Rick Perry and Michele Bachmann 

One reason polls don't show a groundswell of support for a Palin run is that other candidates have already taken over her obvious territory. If you want a hardcore religious right leader running on her personal family values while horrifying establishment Republicans, Michele Bachmann is happy to accommodate your needs. If you're looking for a red-state governor with solid conservative credentials running on anti-elitist resentment, Rick Perry is ready and waiting. 

Women 

Palin's entrance on the national stage was heralded as an opportunity for the GOP to reach out to female voters, who traditionally lean Democrat in presidential elections. Instead, women have proven a weak spot for Palin. John McCain learned this the hard way in 2008 after his VP pick disproportionately turned off female voters despite a focused effort to pick up disaffected Hillary Clinton voters. 

Sarah Palin 

Ultimately, Palin has been her own worst enemy. Over and over she's made costly unforced errors that have solidified her critics' worst impressions of her while alienating potential supporters. The most disastrous -- and illustrative -- recent example was her response to the Gabrielle Giffords shooting in Arizona. Under intense scrutiny for her use of violent political imagery, Palin actually began to garner some public sympathy from unexpected corners as it became clear the alleged killer was motivated more by a deranged worldview than any coherent cause. But she instantly squandered it by releasing a tone-deaf video condemning a "blood libel" against her that only appeared more inappropriate after Obama delivered a moving speech focused on the individual shooting victims' biographies later the same day. Palin's popularity plummeted to new lows in the aftermath, but the episode did little more than confirm the already entrenched image of the ex-governor as a thin-skinned, rash, and divisive figure. 

I have to say I agree with much of waht Mr. Sarlin points out here. Especially that last part.

However I would also add that it is also very possible that Sarah Palin NEVER seriously considered a run for the Presidency, or at least changed her mind early on after considering the unavoidable embarrassments she would face, and that all of this has just been one long drawn out con game directed at her under educated supporters.

Whatever the reason I think we can rest assured that Palin has no REAL plan to launch a campaign, and if she absolutely believes she has to at least fake one, it will undoubtedly be the shortest campaign in American political history.

Japan Women's Soccer Wins World Cup!

Inspired Japan shocks Team USA to win first Women's World Cup in penalty kicks

Via The Associated Press/MLive.com

"Japan has won the Women's World Cup, stunning the United States 3-1 in a penalty shootout Sunday night after coming from behind twice in a 2-2 tie.

Shannon Boxx, Carli Lloyd and Tobin Heath all failed to convert for the Americans, who squandered dozens of chances throughout the game and blew a lead just six minutes from winning their third World Cup title."



御祝い！御祝い！御目出度う御座います！ Congratulations Japan!

The Adventures of a Sexual Subversive [Tell Me How it Feels]

¡Hola! Everybody…
The following is what I remember many years ago when I asked the question...

* * *

-=[ How Does it Feel? ]=-

So quiet now.
Soften yourself and listen.
Connected and motionless.

To the symphonic pulsing of our blood,
the crash of an eyelid,
the joyous trickle of a bead of sweat.

© 1977

Yup, in my naïveté, while I was in her, I asked the question and she looked at me in that singular way of hers -- that “look” that only experience and time can bestow on a woman’s beauty -- and she said…

I would love to tell you how it feels.

When I’m riding you out to the stars and your body is clustered in a point, and then it rockets away from you on waves of pleasure. I guess the ocean best expresses it best. The smell. The origin there: conceived and then burst into a billion cells. What I mean is we’ve all been intimate with the most profound creative experience: we’ve all been born.

I think that the people who are lost, that’s what they’re really most lost from. And sex. That is one of the simplest and most thrilling ways to get it back again…

Sometimes I think if I could make love once a week, that would take care of it. But then when that someone is around, I mean someone that I have feelings for, then I want to do it more. And then I think it’s mostly for affection. Then the coming -- the orgasm part -- is different. It’s a level that can be utterly satisfying, but I don’t have to have the stars. If I don’t need to come, I don’t. Then there are days when I wake up, and I know that at a certain point someone’s going to touch me on the shoulder, and I’m going to quake. There are those degrees. There’s that certain kind of thing that doesn’t make you knock your knees. And then the one that grabs you so hard and takes you all the way there. I think it’s the easiest way to understand a state of grace. And then when you begin to scream and shout because you know I’ve got it, then that’s the best. I’ve met very few men who can adequately gauge a wave.

To be honest, I came to the point where I really didn’t care to make love to a lot of men because it takes so long to learn someone in that way. It always manages to feel like such a struggle, and then the best are almost always the ones you’re going to love exponentially.

I used to be so afraid of being sexy. Now it really tickles me. I like to get to the point where I can wear a slip. It still takes me a while to get completely down. And I really only can with someone I like a lot. It’s like a dance. There’s the step you do for yourself. And the step you do for your lover. And the step for the audience too.

I guess certain people like certain things. I knew one who would grab my hair just above the wedge and pretend that he was going to touch that in the triangle there. I loved that feeling of a tease. It wasn’t technique. It was as if he were learning to play an instrument well.

Most men will tell you that the biggest thrill is to make it good for a woman and I can see how they would think that. I’d really like to know what other people feel.

Kissing is my favorite part.

I like to stop before it all explodes and just lie together, breathing together, like we are now. If I close my eyes and concentrate on what the space in pussy is holding, I can feel like I have a penis. It’s like being both sexes at the same time. And it is. [we both laugh at this]

Society definitely conditions us to be shy. I mean women. I think about those studies about women’s sexual peaks at thirty and I bet it really has more to with it actually taking a decade to overcome a certain kind of timidity or shame.

Before I called you that first time, I thought about you passionately for days. Then I called my friend and asked for your number and then I called you and casually invited you to meet me. I was practically throwing up. The first time I had done something like that, the man in question couldn’t deal with me being the instigator, or taking matters into my own hands, and he misread me, got all insecure, or maybe he saw me as a slut. I don’t know, I just know I lost interest then. It did help me understand the social aspect of the dating scene -- what men have to go through. Meet a girl, make a date, get laid. It’s terrifying. On the flip side, women are expected to ride along submissively, being sexually ignored, ungratified, or abused.

Until one day maybe she sees a freshly washed sheet on the clothesline with the dry air blowing through it and she decides that’s the way she wants to feel…

Love,

Eddie

The Friday Sex Blog [Women Who Gotta Have It]

¡Hola! Everybody…
Busy, busy busy!

* * *

-=[ Pandora's Box ]=-

Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.

-- Mae West

I’ve been reading some literature on women’s sexuality and I’ve come across some interesting findings. For too long, mainstream research has dealt almost exclusively with how often and how successfully young (but not too young), white, middle class, able-bodied, heterosexual couples consummate the act of sexual intercourse. Following a male bias, it almost exclusively isolates sex as physical and intimacy as emotional. It focuses exclusively on a few inches of mucous membrane in which achieving orgasm is described in terms as if it were mountain climbing, complete with ropes and hammers.

What this leaves out is what newer research shows and what women have been telling us for too long: what’s most important about sex, I have heard woman say countless times, is a sense of connectedness.

I would like to summarize some of what I’ve been discovering, but that will have to wait. For today, I want to elaborate on some findings via a personal experience.

Perhaps some of my readers remember an incident I reported regarding a former lover’s difficulty with sex. I had written that she had developed a tension in the body that was centered in her genital area and which made sexual penetration extremely painful for her. Eventually, working together, we were able to ease that tension, resulting in a sexual opening or awakening for both of us. For her, it was liberation from strict and repressive morals, for me it was the dawning of an awareness to the range of women’s sexual responses.

My friend, who I will call Pandora, was raised in a strict, conservative, and religious home. At the time of our relationship, she was 30 years-old and recently divorced. Her only lover was her former husband, part of a marriage of nine years.

I was in my mid-twenties, during the height of an era of sexual liberation and exploration. I discovered early on, that women would be more open to me if I were honest about my intentions and open to my emotional life. Pandora, though conflicted, took me as a lover, though she had mixed feelings.

Looking back, I can better understand how we were able to open to one another and reduce the tension that made sex so painful for her. The first time I attempted to enter her, it was almost impossible. She was tight to the point that sexual penetration was almost impossible. She cried the first time -- partly because of the physical pain, partly (she later intimated) because of shame.

As we came to know one another better, she related a sexual history that made it easy for me to understand her sexual unease. She grew up in a family in which sexual pleasure was considered sinful. As a result, she was a virgin when she married her husband. Her husband controlled almost all the aspects of their sexing. She would wear what he told her to wear. The lights were turned to the level that he liked. They had to have sex like clockwork at a certain day of the week at a certain time. For Pandora, sex meant only one thing: a responsibility -- mad rush to orgasm for her husband.

With me, because of my natural curiosity and penchant for exploration, sex was a little different. I wanted (as I have always wanted) her to “open” to me -- to be fully present surrendering the deepest recesses of her sexuality to me.

Yes, I have issues.

My desire to be engulfed by her cunt compelled me to talk to her, hold her, and kiss her in places she had never been kissed before. Oftentimes, especially in the beginning of our relationship, we talked more than we fucked. When I told her that many women don’t respond to sexual penetration alone, she was shocked. She didn’t believe me. All her life, she was taught and experienced sex from a male-dominant point o view that caused her confusion when she didn’t respond in the way her husband wanted her to respond.

And it wasn’t that he didn’t kiss her, or didn’t perform cunnilingus on her -- he did. The thing with Pandora was that it seemed that everything about the sex act was geared toward achieving the big “O.” She needed to be related to, to be utterly complete fucked. My willingness to talk to her openly about sex (I used to love to tease her by using “vulgar” terms, such as “pussy,” “cunt,” “cock,” etc.) served to open her up. And her sexual exploration became the erotic ground on which we built our sexing. We would visit sex shops and browse through them, looking at and laughing at the different toys. I would explore her body, and slowly, she came to trust me enough to tell me what she liked and didn’t like.

Eventually, Pandora took charge of her own sexual awakening and once she opened to me, there was no holding back. I still remember the moment her pussy yawned open for me, hot with sexual desire, slippery with her want. I think she yelled something out, I don’t remember what, but we laughed about it later. I would often tease her that we had created a monster.

Pandora would explain that all her life, she was trying to conform to what she know saw as a male model for sexual pleasure and when she “failed” to conform to that model, the message was that there was something wrong with her, that she was frigid, or sexually defected. What she discovered, was that what was missing from her sexual life was a sense of connectedness. When she eventually took control of our sexual exploration, she became my guide for the map of her body. This was a liberation for both of us.

Love,

Eddie

The Friday Sex Blog [Women Who Gotta Have It]

¡Hola! Everybody…
I’ve been writing about sex, moral panics, and the harm they cause children, but I haven’t been able to finish … It will probably have to chopped down to tow or three posts. I should have the first part up next Friday.

* * *

-=[ She’s Gotta Have It ]=-

Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.
-- Mae West

I’ve been reading literature on women’s sexuality and I’ve come across some interesting findings. For too long, mainstream research has dealt almost exclusively with how often and how successfully young (but not too young), white, middle class, able-bodied, heterosexual couples complete the act of sexual intercourse. Following a male bias, the literature almost exclusively isolates sex as physical and intimacy as emotional. It focuses exclusively on a few inches of mucous membrane in which achieving orgasm is described in terms as if it were mountain climbing, complete with ropes and hammers.

What this leaves out is what newer research is uncovering and what women have been telling us for too long: what’s most important about sex, I have heard woman say countless times, is a sense of connectedness.

I would like to summarize some of what I’ve been reading, but that will have to wait. For today, I want to elaborate on some findings via a personal experience.

Perhaps some of my readers remember an incident I reported regarding a former lover’s difficulty with sex. I had written that she had developed a tension in the body that was centered around her genital area and which made sexual penetration extremely painful for her. Eventually, working together, we were able to ease that tension, resulting in a sexual opening or awakening for both of us. For her, it was liberation from strict and repressive morals, for me it was the dawning of an awareness to the range of women’s sexual responses.

My friend, who I will call Pandora, was raised in a strict, conservative, and religious home. At the time, she was 30 years-old and recently divorced. Her only lover was her former husband, part of a marriage of nine years.

I was in my mid-twenties, during the height of an era of sexual liberation and exploration. I discovered early on, that women would be more open to me if I were honest about my intentions and open to my emotional life. Pandora, though conflicted, took me as a lover, though she had mixed feelings.

Looking back, I can better understand how we were able to open to one another and reduce the tension that made sex so painful for her. The first time I attempted to enter her, it was almost impossible. She was very tight, tight the point that sexual penetration was almost impossible. She cried the first time -- partly because of the physical pain, partly because of shame.

As we got to know one another, she related a sexual history that made it easy for me to understand her sexual unease. She grew up in a family in which sexual pleasure was considered sinful. As a result, she was a virgin when she married her husband. Her husband controlled almost all the aspects of their sexing. She would wear what he told her to wear. The lights were turned to the level that he liked. Their sexual lives resembled a rigidity -- clockwork at a certain day of the week at a certain time. For Pandora, sex meant only one thing: a mad rush to orgasm (for her husband).

Because of my penchant for exploration and my curiosity, sex was a little different with me. I wanted (as I have always wanted) her to “open” to me -- to be fully present, surrendering the deepest recesses of her sexuality to me.

Yes, I have issues.

My desire to be engulfed by her cunt compelled me to talk to her, hold her, and kiss her in places she had never been kissed before. Oftentimes, in the beginning, we talked more than we fucked. When I told her that many women don’t respond to sexual penetration alone, she was shocked. She didn’t believe me. All her life, she was taught sex from a male point o view that caused her confusion when she didn’t respond in the way her husband wanted her to respond.

And it wasn’t that he didn’t kiss her, or didn’t perform cunnilingus on her -- he did. The thing with Pandora was that it seemed that everything about the sex act was geared toward achieving the big “O.” She needed to be related to, not just merely fucked. My willingness to talk to her openly about sex (I used to love to tease her by using “vulgar” terms, such as pussy, cunt, cock, etc.) served to open her up. And her sexual exploration became the erotic ground on which we built our sexing. We would visit sex shops and browse through the different toys. I would explore her body, and slowly, she came to trust me enough to tell me what she liked and didn’t like.

Eventually, Pandora took charge of her own sexual awakening and once she opened (mostly to herself), there was no holding back. I still remember the moment her pussy yawned open for me, hot with sexual desire, slippery with her want. I think she yelled something out, I don’t remember what, but we laughed about it later. I would often tease her that we had created a monster. LOL

Pandora would explain that all her life, she was trying to conform to a male model of sexual pleasure and when she “failed” to conform or live up to that model, she was told there was something wrong with her, that she was frigid, or sexually defected. What she discovered, she told me, was that what was she was missing from her sexual life was a sense of connectedness. When she eventually took control of our sexual exploration, she became of my guide for the map of her body. This was a form of liberation for both of us.

Anyway, that’s all I can write today. I have a busy day ahead.

Love,

Eddie

Beautiful Asian Women Video 2009

Here is a video of many very beautiful Asian women from all over Asia. It's only nine and a half minutes, but I could watch if forever:

Japanese Women Loincloth Liberation News Video

Reuters reports on the recent comeback of FUNDOSHI ("loincloths" in English) for the liberation of Japanese women:




Well, it would have been a better news report if Reuters had shown an actual woman wearing a liberating loincloth as I had hoped it would. I guess I'll believe it when (and if) I see it. Perhaps it may be time to move to Kyoto?!?!

Nigger of the World

¡Hola! Everybody...
Well, as expected, my blog yesterday elicited many responses. While I expect some of the responses, they still never cease to amaze me. Let’s get some shit straight:

My blog was about Domestic Violence, not violence in general. Some of you, while in the ecstatic throes of logical contortions, seemed to forget that. Secondly, please don’t start your comment by saying you’re not condoning Domestic Violence and then defend the perpetrators of Domestic Violence -- men! Finally, if you don’t like me and have a beef with me or the forceful manner in which I present the issue, get to the back of the line. There are plenty people that share your animosity. However, while here, address the fuckin' issue!

* * *

-=[ The Universal Victim ]=-

“Woman is the nigger of the world.”

-- Yoko Ono

First things first:

If you think you’re trapped in an abusive relationship, please try to get help. At the end of this blog there is a link to a resource where you can locate assistance and support for your situation. I realize it’s not easy. No matter what the idiots post here as a response, you are not at fault. You’re also not alone.

The history of the world and the history of family violence are inseparable. Across cultures with different languages and customs, women have been beaten by their male partners the world over. In almost every society we know about, men have considered themselves superior to women. When one group considers itself superior, it presumes the right to oppress the other.

Eventually, that oppression will evolve into some form of physical abuse.

Someone responded yesterday that violence against women and domestic violence are different. I believe this remark to be ignorant of the issue. Domestic violence and violence against women are part and parcel of the same issue.

· Sixty percent of the women killed in the U.S. are killed by their husband or boyfriend.

· A woman is nine times more likely to be assaulted in her own home than on the street.

Yes, you’re correct in noting I’ve already posted the above statistics. Thanks for noticing.

I emphasize women because they are by far the group most likely to be victims of domestic violence. There are reasons for that and those reasons have to do with systemic barriers embedded in a patriarchal society that not only condones, but encourages violence against women. Yeah, I know that’s fucked up that I’m emphasizing the 95% of the victims of domestic violence. I’m fucked up that way. If you don’t like it, throw yourself against the floor. LOL!

Let’s try the following exercise:

If you’re a male and you woke up tomorrow as a female, what would you do?

If you’re a female, and you woke up tomorrow as a male, what would you do?

I realize the questions are an open invitation to joke, but when this test was posed to elementary school children, most of the boys said they’d kill themselves if they woke up as girls. Most of the girls said they’d be happy to wake up as a boy. They stated that they would be firemen, baseball players, the president, a doctor, etc. It was obvious that both boys and girls think that it is better to be a boy. Everyone would rather be a boy (Freud lives).

This is why male privilege is so powerful. It’s not just boys who think they have more power; girls also think that boys have more power.

It’s been pointed out ad nauseum that men are also victims of domestic violence. I don’t dispute that, but to emphasize men, who represent a miniscule fraction of DV cases, is stupid.

Yes I said it was stupid.

Why is it stupid? Because it ignores male privilege. No one, at least not this writer, is saying that abused men should be ignored. But even battered men have more economic and systemic resources at their disposal than women. For example men get paid about 30% more than women for the same work, for example. It is stupid to ignore this fact. One responder yesterday even went so far as to cherry-pick “statistics” from studies glommed from a mens’ website with a gender axe to grind.

The reason why women are more frequently victims of domestic violence is because we live in a society that is based on ideas of supremacy and privilege. This set of values is based on the notion that one group or type of person is better, smarter, and more valuable than another. Therefore, it follows, it is the right and duty of those who are better to be in control. Sound familiar?

Any discussion that refuses to recognize these historical and systematic dynamics is ignorant of the issue.

For example, if a woman flees an abusive relationship, but leaves her children, the courts will award custody to the men. I don’t have my notes handy right now, but I believe that about 70% of men who have custody, gain custody under these conditions.

If we lose sight of the fact of male privilege, then we lose sight of the fact that:

The average sentence for a man who kills his wife/ girlfriend is 7-11 years.

A woman who kills her man gets on the average 25 years to life.

So, let’s say a woman lashes out after years of abuse. She gets life. A coward who preys on women will get a comparative slap on the wrist. Are we seeing a pattern here?

Muthafuckas, I asked are we seeing a fuckin pattern here?!!

I have to go, but I will write on this shit until I have it all covered because people are still mostly ignorant of the issue.

Eddie

Resources

Click here for help and domestic violence resources

Refuse to Abuse

¡Hola! Everybody...
Today seems hard...

* * *

-=[ Cowardice ]=-

“Falsehood is cowardice, the truth courage.”

-- Hosea Ballou (1771–1852) American clergyman

I like to say that I write on the ‘net because I’m “Here to tell the truth.” At first blush that might sound arrogant and perhaps it is, I don’t honestly know. I do know that it is my intention to tell the truth as I see it.

Contrary to popular sentiment, opinions and knowledge are two distinct constructs: having a plenitude of the former doesn’t equate to possessing even a smidgen of the latter.

In fact, opinions mostly suck -- big time.

No, what I offer isn’t mere opinion...

I’ve been listening and reading some of the most ignorant shit regarding domestic violence recently (connected to the Chris Brown violence) and I am disgusted. I have to sit back and wonder what the fuck people are using to make choices or form “opinions” because it damn sure has nothing to do with the truth.

Some of you may question my position regarding knowing the truth, and I would respond that you have a good question there. My response to such a question follows...

First, let me say right off that I come from a violent household. I am the oldest of five children and some of my earliest memories are of my mother using me as a shield so that my father would stop hitting her. He would hit her anyway... I can still clearly hear the thuds his fists made as he lashed out at my mother.

Whenever my father would hit my mother, I used to cry into my pillow and swear that I would never hit a woman. I have seen my mother have to face the public with a black eye, or make excuses for his behavior and I hated my father for that. But I also loved my father deeply and those feelings welled inside of me, creating demons that I would spend most of my life battling.

This does not privilege my position, or what I have to say on the subject. I am offering this personal information as an attempt at transparency. However, my experience does not detract from the following truth:

It is never right for a man to hit a woman... Period.

I don’t give a fuck what you say. I’ve heard women who admit to being abused actually go out of their way to rationalize the behavior of male batterers. I’ve heard so-called men, do likewise. To these women I say: when you say it’s okay to hit a woman (under any circumstances), you’re saying it’s okay for me to beat your funky ass down. When you rationalize or justify the behavior celebrity batterers/ abusers, you’re saying it’s okay for me to beat your daughter down. You’re saying that it’s okay for me to fuck your mother and treat her like a piece of shit.

Think about it.

If you’re a man and you’re rationalizing beating a woman, then you’re a coward. And I hope you never do time for beating on a woman, because male batterers suffer a lot inside the walls. Other criminals actually develop morals and you’ll be only fractionally better than a pedophile. This brings me to my second truth:

If you hit a woman, no matter what, you’re a coward. Period.

I believe the greatest danger we face as a society is a widespread inability to empathize. We form opinions and belief systems based solely on our insulated and often backward principles. Empathy is the ability to see the world through another person’s eyes without losing yourself in the process. It’s an ability we must learn to cultivate. Most people see or hear about a situation and immediately wade in with prefabricated (and often borrowed) notions about the world and how it should be.

In this way, women who get beat up are at fault for allowing it. Furthermore, you would never allow something like to happen to you. You’re different. You’re superior, smarter, slicker -- you’re morally and intellectually superior than your abused sisters.

Perhaps empathy is best expressed in the Christian refrain, “There but for the grace of God go I... ”

But I’m not seeing a whole lotta Christianity being practiced these days. I see a lot whoopin' and hollerin', but I damn sure ain’t seeing no true Christian sentiment. Perhaps religion is part of the problem. After all, wasn’t it Eve’s fault we’re all in this mess to begin with?

Anyone can become part of a domestic violent relationship. What is domestic violence? It’s something that usually happens in the home. It is perpetrated by people who share some kind of intimate relationship. What is violent about it?

• Sixty percent of the women killed in the U.S. are killed by their husband or boyfriend.
• A woman is nine times more likely to be assaulted in her own home than on the street.

You may not believe that you’re not the type to get battered or be a batterer. I certainly hope you’re right -- but the fact is that there is no way to know.

Battering relationships start out just like other relationships: with kisses, flowers, long walks on the beach, etc. One reason these relationships are so hard to detect (and harder to escape) is because they usually start out as romances and sometimes continue being romantic even while they are abusive.

If you bothered to get out of your comfort zone and actually attempted to understand this issue you would see repeatedly how easy it is to be abused and how hard it is to get out of once the abuse starts.

Why should you care? Here are a few numbers:

• In one year, there were about 4 million reported domestic assaults on women.
• 20% of those resulted in serious injury.
• A third of the women in hospital emergency rooms at any given time are there because of Domestic Violence.
• 25% of all female psychiatric patients who attempt suicide are victims of Domestic Violence.
• 85% of women in substance abuse programs are victims of Domestic Violence.
• 50% of the children in foster care are there largely because of Domestic Violence.
• 70% of child abuse is committed by the man of the house.
• In NYC, 40% of homeless families are fleeing Domestic Violence. Other large cities report similar numbers.

I have little patience and I am not here to sway anyone’s opinion. However, rather than compounding the issue with stupidity, perhaps educating yourself before sticking your fingers up your arse and offering the stench for others to smell would be in order.

The issue isn’t as simple as just walking away, but if you bothered to attempt some knowledge on the subject, you would see that truth immediately. Women attempt to escape all the time, but the way our social institutions are structured and the deep-seated bias against women, they often are not able to escape and often are forced to return to their batterers.

Finally, I’ve written about this before and have had one or two women say that I was trying to get some poosie by writing sympathetically on the subject. I have to shake my head in disgust when I hear such bullshit.

I will say that I am not a saint. My own hands are not clean. And while I didn’t grow up to be a batterer, I have hit a woman on one occasion and it was wrong. It was cowardly of me. There is never any justification for a man to hit a woman.

Period.

If you want some more information on the subject (rather than spouting off some of the dumbest bullshit I’ve ever heard), please visit the National Coalition against Domestic Violence website (click here). If you think you’re trapped in an abusive relationship, please visit the link, there are resources listed for organizations in every state. You’re not alone. For those who would judge? Read a book (click here for a list)

I’m here to tell the fuckin' truth...

Love,

Eddie

The TGIF Sex Blog [Increasing Female Arousal]

¡Hola! Everybody...
First off, for the several who submitted their Mission Statement exercise -- thanks. I always enjoy engaging people frame an asset-based perspective rather than from what’s wrong.

There’s nothing with you... really.

I’ve been working too hard, running myself down and I’m feeling a little under the weather. I’m staying home this weekend and just rest. Have a great weekend, ya’ll.

* * *

-=[ Increasing Female Arousal ]=-

“Learn to pleasure yourself first. You will have enough time to learn the rest.”

Those were my father’s words spoken to me as a young man. I thought at first that it was a selfish thing to say, but I took his advice and I’m glad I did. I understand today that my father was encouraging me to explore myself as a sexual being -- to develop a sexual understanding that began with an understanding of myself. That grounding -- that basic understanding -- would be the foundation from which I developed my “sexual voice.” It was a positive and mostly enjoyable challenge that taught me we’re responsible for our pleasure.

So I write the following as man with the above perspective. I also understand that I can never know pleasure from a woman’s perspective, but what I am offering here is my perspective -- limited as it is by perspective. In short, what follows are some guidelines based on my experiences and research.

Ultimately, a woman is responsible for her desire, arousal, and orgasm. It’s not the man’s responsibility to “give you” an orgasm. Like me, women must also develop their “sexual voice.”

Let me begin at the end and try to dispel some nasty myths. The goal is not competitive sex -- sex isn’t a contest or war. In fact, nothing has done more harm than the myth of “The War between the Sexes.” Both the man and the woman need to be sexually aware so they can share and adequately express themselves sexually. Massive misunderstandings regarding female sexuality have proven to be the major obstacle toward the development of intimacy. For one thing, findings about female sexuality have totally distorted by the mass media. Sensationalistic magazine articles have created new myths, such as the belief the woman must have an orgasm each time, the belief that orgasm is the only measure of satisfaction, the myth of the primacy of the “G” spot, or the belief that being multi-orgasmic is superior to having a single orgasm.

The most important fact is that the female sexual response is more complex and variable than male response. It is not better or worse, more sexual or less sexual, but is more flexible and variable.

But let me switch back in time a little. Until very recently, it was assumed that men were much more sexually responsive than women. Women (at least “good” Christian women) weren’t supposed to enjoy sex. Sex, in the traditional view, was a woman’s duty tolerated only because it allowed affection and intimacy. I still meet women who will have sex only under a very traditional framework. A “good” woman was not expected to initiate sex, or to enjoy it. After all, sex was essentially of the body and sinful, painful and degrading. The very notion that women could enjoy sex was heretical from a traditional Christian perspective.

The truth is that empirical research has found more similarities than differences in female and male sexual response. Let me put that out there again:

Empirical research has found more similarities than differences in female and male sexual response. That isn’t an opinion.

Women and men have similar capacities for desire, pleasure, arousal, orgasm, and satisfaction. I know this goes counter to what you’ve learned from watching too many Sex and the City reruns -- but we’re more alike than Cosmo or Sarah Jessica Parker’s character Cassie has let on.

As for multi-orgasms? Both men and women have the potential for it. In fact, I am a multi-orgasmic male. In fact, women have the capacity to be bigger sluts than men because their capacity to have several orgasms is more natural for them. LOL!

Today, women can give themselves permission to enjoy healthy, normal sexuality. Sexuality for them is as worthwhile for them as men and you can thank those nasty feminist bitches for that. Yeah, the very same ho’s you love to put down -- they laid down the foundation for female sexual liberation. Men and insecure women have an issue with female sexuality. LOL

If you’re comfortable with emotional intimacy, pleasuring, and eroticism, you can enjoy a sexuality that reinforces intimate relationships. Traditional female sexual socialization emphasizes intimacy at the expense of eroticism. Valuing eroticism is an integral component of a vital female sexuality.

I’m late for work, so I’m going to have to finish this at a later time...

Love,

Eddie

The TGIF Sex Blog [Virgins and Whores]

¡Hola! Everybody…
OK: So Palin finally gives an interview (more than 10 days after being nominated) and Gibson, not the deepest of TV reporters, had to explain patiently a question before she could answer it. I’m convinced this woman is a kook better left to govern Armpit, USA than to pontificate on (and implement?) foreign policy.

Today’s blog photo was generously submitted by the lovely AJ. Possessing a great sense of humor, AJ is obviously gorgeous. However, she has this ability to look carnally desirable while at the same time embodying a wholesomeness that’s almost virginal. Dangerous lady!

* * *

-=[ Virgins & Whores ]=-

Early Christian leaders were forced to establish the absolute purity of the mother of Christ because of their attitudes toward women. Eve had tempted Adam in the Garden of Eden and therefore women were view as vessels of sin, which was passed on to their wombs at conception. The pains of childbirth and menstruation were the curse of Eve (fuckin’ slut!), and according to influential Christian saints, the closeness of women to all that is vile could be seen in the “feces and urine” of childbirth.

In comparison, Mary, who had not conceived like other women, was the second coming of Eve, put here to redeem the mistakes of the first. In many ways, Eve was the fleshy mother of humanity, Mary its spiritual mother (good girl!).

Mary would quickly become an object of worship in her right. The first recorded prayer to the Virgin dates from about 390 b.c.e.; her cult reached its height around the 16^th century. In popular worship, however, Mary may have lost her virginal status. She has often been given the attributes of pagan mother goddesses, all who came before Mary. Mary’s most striking pagan metamorphosis, however, occurs within the orthodox doctrine, because she is identified with the Church, and the Church is the bride of Christ. There, like many other goddesses that preceded her, Mary becomes the bride in an incestuous marriage with her own son. She is regarded as an ideal of perfection but the church has never used Mary to represent women, but to blame them in comparison.

As the patroness of priests and guardian of their celibacy, some seminarians may still be urged to think of Mary if they have lustful thoughts, continuing a centuries-old tradition of sublimating desire in an unattainable fantasy.

Christianity has always had a love/ hate relationship with whores. At the beginning of the 16^th century Pope Julius II was said to have established a Church brothel in Rome (based on a earlier model) where the inhabitants spent their time at religious duties when they were not working “the stroll.” LOL!

To the medieval Church, unmarried women were either virgins or whores, and the cult of that other Mary, Mary Magdalene, grew alongside that of the Virgin Mary. As a prostitute (bad girl!) who was redeemed, and who eventually became a saint (good girl!), the figure of Mary Magdalene served to emphasize the equation of women to sin, while at the same time holding out the promise of salvation to those who did penance.

Magdalene is actually a conflation of at least three different biblical figures, who in the Orthodox Greek Church still have their respective feast days: Mary Magdalene herself, a woman from whom seven demons were exorcised by Jesus, and to whom he first appeared after his resurrection; Mary of Bethany, the sister of Lazarus, who bathes Christ’s feet in ointment; and an unspecified “sinner” – not explicitly a prostitute – who bathes Christ’s feet or head in ointment in three gospels.

The image of Magdalene also became confused with that of a Mary ion Egypt, who made a pilgrimage to the Holy Land in the 4^th century by working her passage as a ship’s prostitute. In Jerusalem, she repented and became a hermit. Throughout Christian history, many similar figures have entered the canon as, one historian wrote, “beauty consuming itself like incense burned before God in solitude far from the eyes of men became the most stirring image of penance conceivable.”

Love,

Eddie

The TGIF Sex Blog [Women Who Gotta Have It]

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Monday Madness (Being "Thirsty")

¡Hola! Everybody...
Another scorcher in The Big City today! My apartment is, like, ten-fifteen degrees cooler than the outside. I slept last night with no air conditioner at all!

I would like to clarify something for the good people here on the internet. I think it’s important. I never throw myself at women, nor do I persist in chasing women who express a desire to be left alone. If you know me, you know that I’m pretty much upfront about my intentions and feelings ad I put my cards on the table. If I like a woman, I let her know and if she tells me the feelings are reciprocated, I accept it and move on. Most of the time, I end up becoming friends with such women.

The vast majority of my friends are women. The women in my life joke about this all the time, saying that I like being in the hen house.

I say all this because it seems people were getting the impression that a certain young lady wasn’t accepting my advances on 360. I have never stuck around a woman, or pushed up on a woman that didn’t want me to. For the most part, 90% of my interaction in terms of romance takes place outside of 360. The other 10% is a lot of notorious flirting.

I feel silly having to say this, but I would hate for women who don’t know me to get the impression that I’m some kind of thirsty blowhard.

It’s the 21^st century, folks, and there are plenty of opportunities to get with women, I don’t need to push up on women who spurn my advances.

Today's actual blog is under construction...

In Praise of Women (repost)

Hola Everybody,
Don’t really have much time today in the AM, meetings and stuff. Ever had one of those dreams in which you find yourself running from some unknown danger and the more you run, the more you realize you haven’t gone anywhere?

That’s my life right now. LOL

I’m only half-kidding actually, it really appears that way sometimes. It is at such times I guess one needs to stop running, no? I wrote about emotional quicksand once and that’s where I find myself today, so I should take my own advice and roll with it.

Gird your loins, boys and girls! LMAO!

I got home last night, turned on my laptop and promptly fell asleep…

Today? repost…

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-=[ In Praise of Women ]=-

As men, we are conditioned to respond to challenges as a way of growth. As boys, other boys challenge us into inspiration: “I bet you can’t run faster than Flaco.” In the armed forces, you are called a worthless piece of shit, and this insult is supposed to challenge you to be your best ::sigh:: Therefore, as men, we are probably conditioned to challenge others, including our women, in order to get them to grow and improve.

However, if you do this, you will only succeed in getting your woman’s masculine aspect to grow. The divine feminine thrives on support and praise. For example, telling her, “I hope you stop gaining weight,” is a lot less effective than telling her, “I love the shape of your ass.”

I often am accused of being a silver-tongued devil because I use praise a lot. But all my praise, especially when it comes to women, is genuine. Praise always magnifies the radiance of the woman you praise. “You’re so beautiful when you smile,” is much more effective than, “You’re ugly when you frown,” although both indicate a desire for a smile. It is my experience that when it comes to women, it is always better to call the glass half full than half empty. And this is not merely about superficial choices or manipulation. My praise is not intended as a strategy to get my needs fulfilled.

You might say that this should hold for anyone, not just women, but I beg to differ. While it is an effective tool for all, praise is what the feminine essence craves. She opens like a flower when you praise your woman. Praise is like sustenance for the feminine essence. If you truly want your woman to shine, to radiate health and happiness, love and beauty, praise those qualities. Praise her daily, many times.

I often joke that all my women develop more beautiful asses as a result of being with me, because that's all I do is praise their asses. Shit, I've been know to genuflect and pray to a woman's behind! LOL

This is not an easy task for most men to learn, but we must learn to praise the very qualities we feel are least worthy of praise in order for them to become worthy. In less convoluted language, praise the quality which you desire to see grow. If you want your woman to be healthier through exercise, don’t tell her that. It will feel like an insult to her – a rejection of the way she is now. Instead try telling her how sexy she looks when she sweats in her workout tights. Tell her how much it turns you to watch her move her body. Whatever parts of her body you really like, tell her, and tell her often.

Praising the things you enjoy when she exercises will magnify her exercising. On the flip side, telling her she should exercise indicates that she is unacceptable to you the way she is. Praise heals and nurtures. Challenge and subtle condemnation destroys your woman’s feminine essence.

Try it.

Praise specific things about your woman 5-10 times a day.

See what happens...

Love,

Eddie