Back From Rehab and Checking Back Into The Blogosphere

Class, I've been back from rehab for FIVE days now, and every time I think about posting here, I find something else to do like trying to see if I can swallow a whole donut or something else equally retarded! Ya see, blog rehab changed me! I no longer have the compulsion to blog about blogging and be THE most blondalicious whip-cracking teacher of all time! This doesn't mean I plan to quit blogging. Oh no! Too many of you naughty students emailed me and begged me to return. And so here I am in full black leather regalia with Jimmy Choo stilettos ready to crack that whip and kick ass again! You can kiss my Choos if you wish....but only the heel. And no slobbering!



So many things happened while I was gone. I missed out on Blog Rush which came and went as fast as OJ Simpson left Las Vegas....or so I read here and on other blogs. I wouldn't know as I was kept away from all things 'blog'. Tis true! Except for one time when I sneaked out to a computer, I was forced to shun all computers and even all the news. It wasn't until my return that I discovered the world was still the same. What a shocker!

So I decided to check up on Blog-Blond with the Website Grader to see how far I had slid while I was away. I was pleasantly surprised to see that I still had the respectable grade of 72! What does this 72 mean? Quoting from the website, this is what it means:

"A website grade of 72 for www.blog-blond.blogspot.com means that of the thousands of websites that have previously been submitted to the tool, our algorithm has calculated that this site scores higher than 72% of them in terms of its marketing effectiveness. The algorithm uses a proprietary blend of over a dozen different variables, including search engine data, website structure, approximate traffic, site performance, and others."

Sure, my Alexa score slipped a bit down to 347, 489. BFD! I never understood Alexa anyway. Could one of my brilliant students please explain it to me?

And Technorati totally baffles me! Why do they strip links away from bloggers so frequently? Why do they have to be such bad a$$$$$! Wouldn't it be nice if they added links every now and then like Santa Claus would do? I guess I should be so lucky to have any links considering that I'm a bad a$$ myself. But the point I want to make is this: See--we can go into rehab. We can take vacations. We can take time off from blogging.

The world will still be here when we return. The blogosphere misses us and REALLY wants us to come back! We might slide a little in our scores, but so what? Heck, if I can survive rehab and swallowing whole donuts, then everything else is a piece of cake.

Mwah, my darlings! I'm happy to be home! And I missed you too, Mr. "Humor-Blogs.com"!

Back From Rehab and Checking Back Into The Blogosphere

Class, I've been back from rehab for FIVE days now, and every time I think about posting here, I find something else to do like trying to see if I can swallow a whole donut or something else equally retarded! Ya see, blog rehab changed me! I no longer have the compulsion to blog about blogging and be THE most blondalicious whip-cracking teacher of all time! This doesn't mean I plan to quit blogging. Oh no! Too many of you naughty students emailed me and begged me to return. And so here I am in full black leather regalia with Jimmy Choo stilettos ready to crack that whip and kick ass again! You can kiss my Choos if you wish....but only the heel. And no slobbering!



So many things happened while I was gone. I missed out on Blog Rush which came and went as fast as OJ Simpson left Las Vegas....or so I read here and on other blogs. I wouldn't know as I was kept away from all things 'blog'. Tis true! Except for one time when I sneaked out to a computer, I was forced to shun all computers and even all the news. It wasn't until my return that I discovered the world was still the same. What a shocker!

So I decided to check up on Blog-Blond with the Website Grader to see how far I had slid while I was away. I was pleasantly surprised to see that I still had the respectable grade of 72! What does this 72 mean? Quoting from the website, this is what it means:

"A website grade of 72 for www.blog-blond.blogspot.com means that of the thousands of websites that have previously been submitted to the tool, our algorithm has calculated that this site scores higher than 72% of them in terms of its marketing effectiveness. The algorithm uses a proprietary blend of over a dozen different variables, including search engine data, website structure, approximate traffic, site performance, and others."

Sure, my Alexa score slipped a bit down to 347, 489. BFD! I never understood Alexa anyway. Could one of my brilliant students please explain it to me?

And Technorati totally baffles me! Why do they strip links away from bloggers so frequently? Why do they have to be such bad a$$$$$! Wouldn't it be nice if they added links every now and then like Santa Claus would do? I guess I should be so lucky to have any links considering that I'm a bad a$$ myself. But the point I want to make is this: See--we can go into rehab. We can take vacations. We can take time off from blogging.

The world will still be here when we return. The blogosphere misses us and REALLY wants us to come back! We might slide a little in our scores, but so what? Heck, if I can survive rehab and swallowing whole donuts, then everything else is a piece of cake.

Mwah, my darlings! I'm happy to be home! And I missed you too, Mr. "Humor-Blogs.com"!

And How does YOUR blog score?

Class, what I don't know could fill the bra of Pamela Anderson, and you know how big that is! However, I'm always learning, studying, and attempting to become a better blogger--just like you, right? There's not a day that goes by that I'm not either scratching my head in bafflement or tearing out my hair in frustration as I work at improving my blog(s)! When does the learning curve get any easier?

Yesterday I discovered a site titled Website Grader which is a really cool site because it grades your blog using SEO guidelines. I was shocked to see the score of Blog-Blond because as I have written from the very beginning of the blog--"I'm just a quark smarter than you." Then again, maybe not! Lately you've been showing how brilliant you are with your scores, and I suppose you're going to write in my comments how much better your score is than mine. I know you can't help yourselves because you want to show-off for your blondalicious teacher!

The Website Grader writes,"Ovewr 35,000 Websites Graded!", and thus out of all these websites, Blog-Blond didn't do so bad for she scored 64/100! What does this mean?

"A website grade of 64 for www.blog-blond.blogspot.com means that of the thousands of websites that have previously been submitted to the tool, our algorithm has calculated that this site scores higher than 64% of them in terms of its marketing effectiveness. This algorithm uses a proprietary blend of over a dozen different variables, including search engine data, website structure, approximate traffic, site performance, and others."

I scored ZERO on meta-data. Heck, I don't even know what meta-data is! They suggested adding them to the page. (note to myself--find out!) Grrrrr....

They said there was ZERO page description--didn't they read the banner? Grrrrr....

They said "Font Tags Found in HTML" and cautioned against this. Grrrr....

I need to add "alt" attributes to my images. Grrr....

The ONLY score I'm thrilled about is this one: the READABILITY level is 4th Grade! This is a good thing, ya know, because "the content should be made to be simple so that a majority of the target audience can understand it." I work very hard to make the Blond simple, easy, and readable. And they say I've succeeded!

Check out your score and let me know how you did! And if any one of you brilliant (yet still very naughty!) students want to step up and REVEAL your genius in a guest post, the offer is still on the table. My Uncle Vinnie won't knock on your door if you're not ALL THAT funny--I promise!

Mr. "Humor-Blogs.com", I betcha got a really high score!

And How does YOUR blog score?

Class, what I don't know could fill the bra of Pamela Anderson, and you know how big that is! However, I'm always learning, studying, and attempting to become a better blogger--just like you, right? There's not a day that goes by that I'm not either scratching my head in bafflement or tearing out my hair in frustration as I work at improving my blog(s)! When does the learning curve get any easier?

Yesterday I discovered a site titled Website Grader which is a really cool site because it grades your blog using SEO guidelines. I was shocked to see the score of Blog-Blond because as I have written from the very beginning of the blog--"I'm just a quark smarter than you." Then again, maybe not! Lately you've been showing how brilliant you are with your scores, and I suppose you're going to write in my comments how much better your score is than mine. I know you can't help yourselves because you want to show-off for your blondalicious teacher!

The Website Grader writes,"Ovewr 35,000 Websites Graded!", and thus out of all these websites, Blog-Blond didn't do so bad for she scored 64/100! What does this mean?

"A website grade of 64 for www.blog-blond.blogspot.com means that of the thousands of websites that have previously been submitted to the tool, our algorithm has calculated that this site scores higher than 64% of them in terms of its marketing effectiveness. This algorithm uses a proprietary blend of over a dozen different variables, including search engine data, website structure, approximate traffic, site performance, and others."

I scored ZERO on meta-data. Heck, I don't even know what meta-data is! They suggested adding them to the page. (note to myself--find out!) Grrrrr....

They said there was ZERO page description--didn't they read the banner? Grrrrr....

They said "Font Tags Found in HTML" and cautioned against this. Grrrr....

I need to add "alt" attributes to my images. Grrr....

The ONLY score I'm thrilled about is this one: the READABILITY level is 4th Grade! This is a good thing, ya know, because "the content should be made to be simple so that a majority of the target audience can understand it." I work very hard to make the Blond simple, easy, and readable. And they say I've succeeded!

Check out your score and let me know how you did! And if any one of you brilliant (yet still very naughty!) students want to step up and REVEAL your genius in a guest post, the offer is still on the table. My Uncle Vinnie won't knock on your door if you're not ALL THAT funny--I promise!

Mr. "Humor-Blogs.com", I betcha got a really high score!