Feeding Wolves

¡Hola! Everybody…
I’ve been under the weather these past few days, with my throat giving me problems. And, of course, my lungs have never been the same since 9/11. But right now I cannot afford to get sick because I have no insurance. Hence, I’m being extra cautious.

Speaking of 9/11, I will not be watching any celebrations or anything having to do with that tragic event. I am working on a piece that I will hopefully publish on Subversify this Friday. For my latest at Subversify, an alternative online magazine, click here. The following teaching story is the framework I’m using for the upcoming 9/11 piece…

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-=[ Feeding the Wolves ]=-

One of the tragedies of 9/11, the one that never gets mentioned, was our collective response to the senseless violence. As someone who was there that, who felt the earth shake as the Towers came down, as someone who witnessed human beings throwing themselves from the inferno, and who breathed the dust… Suffice it to say that as a nation we have not honored those who died that day.

As human beings we have the wonderful gift -- the potential for transformative and change and a way to disentangle ourselves from our karma. At the same time we also have this knack for falling asleep. Change is not an easy task. It’s as if we’re continuously facing a crossroads, continuously having to choose which way to go, what road to take.

If we’re honest, we would admit that much of our journey is like a sleep walk: the same roads taken, the circular, repetitive dysfunctional patterns of our lives. In order to make skillful choices, we need a way, a compass, a set of practices that work to challenge us and keep us out of comfort of automatic pilot. I think we first need to learn how to be gentle with ourselves. We need to develop compassion for our imperfections, and to embrace the not-so-pretty aspects that we work so hard to keep from others. This is not to say we work to cosign our own bullshit, rather, it’s a way to recognize and honor our imperfections as well as our positive sides.

Anyway, I first heard the following shortly after 9/11. Perhaps you’ve heard it. For me, this story really brings it home. Perhaps this has some application in your life, right now, this very moment…If you ever get a chance pick up anything by the teacher, Pema Chodron (click here). Believe me, you will thank for a long time.

There was a story going around a few days after the attacks of September 11, 2001. An American Indian grandfather was speaking to his grandson about violence and cruelty in the world and how it comes about. He said it was as if two wolves were fighting in his heart. One wolf was vengeful and angry, the other understanding and kind. The young boy asked his grandfather which wolf would win the fight in his heart. The grandfather answered, “The one that wins will be the one I choose to feed.”

And this is our challenge in a nutshell. It is the challenge we face as individuals and as part of this world gone slightly mad. How can we draw upon our inner potential to see what helps and what harms, what escalates war and aggression, and suffering. With the precarious nature of the current times -- a planet in financial chaos and the environment the precipice, the time for sitting back has long gone. And though you might feel there’s nothing you can do, know that even the slightest gesture toward feeding the right wolf will help. Now, more than ever, you need to understand and act on this human potential for transformation.

My name is Eddie and I’m in recovery from civilization…

Enemies of the Open Society

¡Hola! Everybody...
Today, some idiots from the right wing are actually saying that the racial epithets used at tea party rallies proves racism is dead . One of these goobers is Bill Bennett, the “morals” crusader-cum-obsessive gambler once submitted that you could aborted every black baby and the crime rate would go down. This makes sense to some people, BTW. I am not making this up.

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-=[ The Open Society and its Enemies ]=-

A demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

-- H.L. Mencken

The following rambles, but it makes a point (I think)...

Not too long ago, I walked by a “community garden” in one of Brooklyn’s less affluent neighborhood. It’s a garden full of beautiful plants and even tomatoes and some corn growing by one corner. You can hear the laughter of children as they play on the swings and the little carousel, or act out on the makeshift stage. Mothers with newborn children in their carriages stroll through... and I was reminded that when I first saw that small plot of land, it’s was an empty lot full if refuse, overrun by tall weeds, and the working space of a few local prostitutes.

I once knocked on almost all the doors of that run down city block (and several adjoining blocks), asking people about the rat-infested, dirty, dangerous empty lot. I listened to the countless stories of babies being bitten by the infestation of rats caused by the empty lot. How crack heads would gather there, and the countless times children were exposed to the open-air sex trade.

After listening, I asked each person who opened his or her door to me one question, “If you had the power, what would you do to fix that empty lot?”

I heard many solutions, very innovative -- from building affordable housing to making it into a park, etc. I would invite everyone I engaged to join a “group of concerned neighbors” who were doing something to change that lot and everything it represented.

Actually, I really didn’t have a group; it was part of my strategy.

Eventually, I would help bring together a small group of community residents organized around that empty lot. At first it was small -- maybe 7-9 people. One day, I was able to convince two mothers. You know the type if you were raised in any kind of community. These were the archetypal “universal mother” -- everyone’s mother. Leaders among their neighbors who nobody fucked with. With their help and the help of the rest of my rag-tag group of leaders, we were able to grow that community group to over 100 members. Many of those members were far from radical. Many were very conservative, in fact. Some were anti-choice devout churchgoers, others were more progressive. In short, these were working stiffs tired of that lot and everything it represented.

When I got enough people, I invited my group to attend a rally. During that rally, police needlessly manhandled a few of the church ladies. This changed everything! The church ladies didn’t understand why they were treated disrespectfully. After all, they were working people, they paid taxes, and followed rules, were law-abiding citizens!

They got the fever...

Eventually, this group (still in existence), took over that empty lot, and through a series of actions and negotiations, they made the city clean it and eventually it was given “park” status, meaning it was officially under the direction of the City’s Park Dept. They didn’t stop there. They took over several area abandoned buildings, made the city take over them and utilizing state/ city programs (sadly done away with as soon as Giuliani took over) created permanent affordable housing. That block was transformed, as well as some of the surrounding blocks, and while the neighborhood isn’t Park Avenue, it’s a far cry from what it used to be. Today, the Yuppies are taking over in droves as gentrification creeps up from the now unaffordable Williamsburg.

This post isn’t about me, so please, don’t emphasize that part. This post is about what it means to be a participant in the democratic process. I worked as a community organizer for a very short time. Too short. I left mostly because of philosophical differences with the organization. Still, that organization did a lot to help people like those hard-working church ladies of my group. They also did a lot to help millions vote.

Today, that organization doesn’t exist. It doesn’t exist because the right-wing focused their cross hairs on the group and took it down. They took tapes and edited them to make it look as if the workers of that organization were agreeing to agree to traffic in prostitution when in fact, they were doing the exact opposite (click here to view an exposé of this cowardice).

That organization was called ACORN and today it doesn’t exist because those who fear and loathe the democratic process wanted to take it down. They succeeded and today we’re less of a nation because of it.

Eddie

Commitments, pt. I and II

¡Hola! Everybody...
The following is really two posts made into one. It’s part of a series I wrote about commitments. This post will give you a headache if you’re overly attached to your way of thinking. LOL!

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-=[ The Mirror ]=-

Life is change,
growth is optional,
choose wisely.
-- Karen Kaiser Clark

In our lives we make conscious commitments and they exert a tremendous amount of power over our lives. Of equal importance (maybe even more important) is the power of our unconscious commitments.

What is an unconscious commitment? The way I look at it, an unconscious commitment is an interpretation of reality that is created in early childhood. Whatever we experience in our early years has a huge impact on the types of relationships we seek out as adults. This can be problematic if we are seeking from a foundation based on fear, betrayal, and abandonment.

It is easier to blame our relationship problems on factors outside of ourselves: “He doesn’t listen,” “She nags too much,” etc. In addition, when these patterns appear repeatedly, it is even more tempting to place blame. It follows then that the first step in uncovering our unconscious commitments is to begin to become accountable for our unhappy relationships. At first, this may seem counter intuitive, but the first step to untangling our unconscious commitments is to become aware of them. This takes a certain amount of courage and a lot of love. This isn’t about blaming! Nothing good ever comes from blame. Much of the inner work involves developing compassion.

The second part of uncovering your unconscious commitments is by paying close attention to your habitual complaints. Drs. Kathlyn and Gay Hendricks, in their work with over 20,000 clients, have discovered that what people most often complain about in intimate relationships is identical to their unconscious commitments. For example, let’s say that your number one complaint about past relationships is that your partner(s) were always criticizing you. It may be likely that you are unconsciously committed to bringing critical people into your life (again, I must stress this about blaming yourself or anyone else).

Another issue is that unconscious commitments are so powerful that partners can unconsciously notice them and begin to act in ways that will supply what their partner is unconsciously asking for. Have you ever experienced saying to yourself, “Dang, I wasn’t a particularly critical person until I got into this relationship, and yet here I am a full-fledged nag.”

Try this: each time you catch yourself complaining about something, use it as an opportunity to reclaim the power of one of your unconscious commitments. If you can catch yourself in the act of complaining, try to turn it around and ask, “Why would I be unconsciously committed to that?”

It is in the very act of questioning why you might be unconsciously committed to the things you have been complaining about that the real work is done. Katie Byron, creator of “The Work,” has a very powerful technique for uncovering and diffusing our unconscious commitments. The Hendricks also have a guided reflection that helps in this area. I have used a combination of both in my own work with people that I have found very useful. I will share that tomorrow.

For now, try the following:

Your first task: Discover what you complain about.

If you want to stop your unconscious patterns cold, stop complaining. Put yourself on a radical complaint-fast for one day: Don’t allow a single complaint out of your mouth.

Then go a second day, and a third. Many years ago, I went on a complaining-fast, and my old patterns started to drop away effortlessly. I soon found I could go days and weeks without complaining about anything. Eventually my complaint-fast stretched into years, and by then the miracles were unfolding so rapidly I could scarcely believe it. The circumstances of my life improved so radically that there was nothing to complain about.

Love,

Eddie

Responding to Fear

¡Hola! Everybody...
Ever simply feel that someone or some thing, or some situation is just right? Have you ever followed that inner feeling? How was that? Then again, I know many people who had children on account of a “feeling.” LOL!

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-=[ Responding to Fear ]=-

Nothing in life is to be feared; it only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.

-- Marie Curie

A shadow is created by blocking, deflecting, or otherwise obstructing light. Wherever fear comes into existence, it lives, grows, and remains a part of us by embedding itself between the light of creative vision and our intuition. It is the shadow, not a lack of ability, that is the biggest obstacle we face today as a global community. The shadow, as I see it, is the space between what we want and what we get. It’s the distance between who we are and who we are meant to be, with the biggest, deepest, and widest gap occurring between the present crisis and our vision.

Look around at what has so many of us mesmerized: paranoia, worry, doubt, disease. They cast a spell on almost every aspect of our lives. Fear prevents us from seeing or feeling clearly. It blocks the natural flow of our creative energy and hampers our ability to be radically innovative. We seem to be caught in a state of generalized anxiety that makes solutions impossible or paralyzes their implementation. When we do manage to get started, it is fear that often calls us back at the first sign of disappointment or problem. Fear, as a friend likes to say, keeps us “stuck on stupid” as in the example of the proverbial deer caught in the headlights. It stunts our growth and suffocates our awakening, causing us to repeat painful and habitual patterns of behavior and making us lose sight of our vision (or uncommon sense). In order for us to envision and create a better society we must get past this fearful landscape.

Historically, creative people have often felt separated from their communities. It’s as if their ability to see clearly between what is and what could be serves to stigmatize them. Innovators are often ridiculed, their ideas and insights too far ahead of the curve of the mainstream culture. This isolation strikes fear within us: we fear that if we express our ideas, or rock the boat a little, or act on them, others will ridicule us. the truth is that our visionary thinking is the only thing that will save us. But people are afraid to follow their own ideas. They’re sure they will be perceived as crazy, or radical, or -- gasp! -- outside of the political norm.

We are defeated not by our uniqueness, but by our fear of the unusual, the new, the strange. We live in a society obsessed by numbers and norms, with its averages, means, and medians spurring us to believe in something called “normal,” which has little to do with being real. The idea of “average” or “typical behavior” is nothing more than a mathematical conceit.

Similarly, we fear information that challenges our ingrained worldview. Most of the resistance we see today is really about killing the messenger than a defense of reason. Those yelling about fictitious death panels, or decrying marriage equality, or those who have made it their business to discredit all forms of science are protecting hidden agendas composed of fear and loathing.

We fear losing as self-doubt zeroes in on the space between our potential and insecurity. We’re not thin enough, smart enough, or committed. As a nation too many focus on what we can’t do, rather than what we’re capable of. We’re too late with too little. Such doubts and fears make us hesitate at a moment in time in which we can ill afford to hesitate. Others fear something actually succeeding and taking hold because it means their worldview was wrong -- fear of success. Many fear death, or loss of control. Whatever the case, it’s fear-based living at a time of crisis.

A sure recipe for catastrophe.

The people who insist that nothing needs to be done demonstrate a complacency that’s both ignorant and disempowering. Awakening to our full potential is not a spectator sport. If we’re going to respond the challenges we face, we must act and act thoughtfully with foresight. Whenever a group tries something different, there’s an initial period of turbulence. Many people, fearful of new ways, mistake the turbulence for change itself and decide they would rather go back to the “good old days.” In this way, we dismiss the world of potential and vision for a past that never existed.

If we allow ourselves to be led by a creative vision, we will never lose. We can let go of right and wrong, winning and losing, approval and disapproval. Right now, we are on the cusp of a new world emerging and behind us an old world imploding upon itself. The only rational response to fear is to fully embrace this new world. Our potential can only be realized by us collectively. This new world has been hovering over us for a long time and it has nothing to do with some bullshit calendar and everything to do with being awake, and we have heard it speaking all our lives:

Seize the day. Go for broke. Walk the walk. Try your wings. Do unto others...

Stop the fear.

Love,

Eddie

Sunday Sermon [Community]

¡Hola! Everybody...
I’m going to find a way to avoid the whole Superbowl Day frenzy.

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-=[ What is Community? ]=-

Prison isn’t merely a physical structure, it is, more than anything else, a state of mind...

We hear a lot these days about “community.” More and more of us, we’re told, are seeking it. There is talk about the African-American, Latina/o, and Asian communities; the gay and lesbian community; the political community; a community of peers; the local community. But what is this thing called community? Why are we seeking it? Heck, how will we know when find it?

I have found that a central human quality is this yearning for the company of others. A desire to find meaningful connections, to be with and be touched by family, friends, and clan, is wired into us. As a formerly incarcerated person, I know too well the feeling of being alone and isolated. I think if we’re all honest enough, we can all admit to a familiarity with the sense of being stuck in our own skin, apart from others. I also know that one of the principle factors in my successful reintegration has been my struggle to reconnect with loved ones and the community at large. To be incarcerated is to be removed from society. All too often, unfortunately, to be released from prison is to continue to experience isolation from a sense of belonging or community.

To complicate matters further, in this world gone slightly mad, we rarely find time to extend ourselves to our neighbors and loved ones. Today we work longer hours for less money, and it’s almost as if living without an appointment book (or PDA) is an impossibility. Add to this the fear and anger at the outrages committed by narcissistic public figures that serve to drive us deeper into isolation. It is true that taking the time to look within can help us learn to live with this deep alienation, but the only way to live genuinely and fully is by making deep connections with others.

This is what I mean by community.

I was raised in a community of extended family that included family members, adopted friends, and neighbors. This is not the same reality my now adult-aged son experienced growing up. Indeed, many people today dismiss community as an unrealistic ideal that is destined to fail and we close our doors a little more securely. Expecting or anticipating disappointment (or worse), we shy away from trying to find or build community. But the truth is a little more complicated than that, however. Throughout history, both recent and distant, there have been many examples of successful communities. But even these communities weren’t perfect and every group that comes together in community will experience its own unique set of problems, challenges, and opportunities.

I find myself writing and speaking of community a lot these days because much of my professional work is deeply connected to community. As someone working for social and economic justice, I come into contact with men and women who have a burning desire to reconnect, to find their place in a society that mostly spurns them. My professional and personal experience informs me that there is nothing more valuable in the difficult work to “re-enter” society than a sense of community. And this is true not just for people looking to reintegrate -- it seems these days as if a great many of us live lives of quiet desperation... I have come to think of community as a kind of vitamin. The experience of connectedness with others is as necessary to a fully healthy life as the minimum daily amount of nutrients is to a balanced diet. We isolate from one another at a great economic, physical, and spiritual price.

There’s much talk about Polarization these days, but if we’re to survive we need as a community to have an honest and intelligent conversation exploring how our social policies negatively affect our ability to educate our young. We need to fully explore the many different possibilities that lead to a better experience and sense of community. We need to explore examples of how our communities can work for the benefit of all, becoming more inclusive, empowered, and safer in the process. Where are the ideas about helping to make community a part of our future and the future of our children?

I would like to end with the following for the entrenched cynics among us. The problem of community, as with all of society, is in saving and expanding the priceless value of freedom, while at the same time maintaining a mutual respect, mutual regard, and mutual responsibility, as well as a common effort for common goals. This much is true: if we are to preserve and pass on to our children basic human values, a wholesome community life is imperative. Unless we choose to work and live together in connectedness of community life, there can never be a truly unified nation or a community of humankind.

If you do not love your neighbor, whom you know, how can you love the human race? If you have not yet learned to work with a few people, how can you be effective with many?

Love,

Eddie

Sunday Sermon [Hitting Bottom]

¡Hola! Everybody...
You have a choice, believe it or not, in deciding which direction we will move as a race of beings. Right now, you’re choosing and acting...

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-=[ Hitting Bottom ]=-

We live in a very dangerous time, but it is similar to the danger of childbirth. We are looking at the birth of a new consciousness. The dangers we face are part of this birthing process.

As an individual who has come to terms with addiction, I have some familiarity with both “hitting bottom” and a measure of awakening. Addiction is a progressive disease. It’s quite possible to go on cruise control for years while managing the outwardly appearance of social acceptability. For a long time I was able to do this. People close to me overlooked or even encouraged my “eccentricities.” But as long as I maintained the illusion of a “normal” life, my disease progressed.

At the core of the addictive mindset lies an ego-based, desire-based living. It leaves us with a painful sense of separation from others, a nagging sense that something missing, an experience of limitation, fear, and desire. Experiencing ourselves as small, we engage in a flurry of activity to avoid the objects of our fear and obtain the objects of our craving.

This is the dance of problem-based living and, although widely perceived as normal, it fuels an endless drama of struggle. On a personal level, it can manifest as a general anxiety, or a body image problem. On a community level, it can sabotage something as seemingly simple as a internet political forum. Globally, it is expressed as war, as economic and environmental madness. This force has been given many names. Simply put, it is ego-based living, or as I call it, the Mini Me.

Most addicts have to lose a lot, or “hit bottom,” before they begin to wake up. My personal bottom was extreme. I lost my self-respect, loved ones, opportunities, jobs, my health, and even my freedom, before I was able to address what had been happening for years. The irony about hitting bottom is that it is actually the beginning of a healing process. My darkest day, the day I lost all hope, a day of almost unimaginable despair, was a beginning. I look back at that day as a revelation and celebrate it every year. As a recovering addict, today I understand painful endings as a healthy sign, part of a necessary step toward transformative change.

I believe this is what’s happening to humanity. We’re in the death throes of a mindset that can no longer sustain life. The battle today isn’t so much about “left” vs. “right,” but about abandoning a paradigm that has outlived its purpose. As we continue to exhaust every possibility of ego-based, separation-based, desire-based living, we have no real option but to wake up and take an evolutionary leap. Those who are able see this process are weighted with the responsibility to tend compassionately to the death of the old ways, and to serve as a midwife to the emergence of a new human being.

Some see declining purchasing power as “weakened consumer confidence,” which feeds into the collective anxiety of the Mini Me. Others, thinking outside of the old paradigm, see the same trend as an indication that we are growing out of our addictions. The most recent economic meltdown in 2009 was seen as a setback to the multinational conglomerates that caused it. However, looked at from another perspective, it could have very well been a victory for the start a sane society. At the very least, it exposed the fallacy of the “free market” as a solution for all of society’s ills.

Everything looks different when we drop the fear-based thinking and stop resisting death and rebirth.

Now (and here’s the crux), once the mindset is identified, we often want to pin it on a person or movement, and then comes the compulsion to eliminate them, in the false hope of ending our troubles. For example, in Russia, first the Czar and their associates were seen as the problem and they were eliminated. But after a few decades, a corruption of Communism was no better, and they were, in turn, also eliminated. Since 1991, the party has been gone from power but the Russian people are no better off under a capitalist system (and in many ways worse off).

My spiritual practice emphasizes tolerance and compassion, but I have to confess that the right, as personified by Bush, Palin, Limbaugh, and the rest, are a huge challenge for me. The temptation to cast them as the core of the problem is sometimes overwhelming. And let’s be real: the right today embodies to a large degree the old Mini Me paradigm I describe. Their foreign policy is defined and driven by separation, by an us-versus-them mentality. Their social policy decisions come from a hardcore fundamentalism rather than an open-minded inquiry. They have succeeded in polarizing this country to the point of entropy, in the process defining blind loyalty as patriotism, advocating for the erosion of civil liberties as a means to deal with dissent. The wealth gap between the powerful few and the majority has widened dramatically under their policies, which have been strong on “conservative,” but pathetic on “compassionate.” And, of course, there is the ideological and economically motivated global violence sold to a gullible populace through distortions and lies.

There’s a lot not to like about the right these days...

I see the right as symptomatic of the old ways of living. It is living motivated by a sense of lack and fear. I disagree with everything they stand for, so how can I find even a smidgen of tolerance or compassion for their way of thinking? For example, how do I reconcile the response of a suburban housewife, who will gladly cede liberty for the illusion of security? I could chalk neoconservative policies up to stupidity (“dumb twats”), selfishness, the pathological need for control, or the lust for power. And I’m sure the Cheney’s, the Bush’s and Palins of the world are guilty as charged.

But if someone, succumbing to the myth of scarcity, really believes there isn’t enough to go around then I could understand how someone would see it as responsible and even noble to horde as much as you can for you and yours, whomever you consider that to be. You have to have more than you need and protect those that “belong” from ever being left out.

You’ll do anything to others, including bomb their land, rape their women and children, and plunder their resources, to provide for those you see as “us.” The right has blinded itself from the consequences of their actions (“drill baby drill!”) and it is important to reveal what they’re doing. I think what they’re doing is wrong. They're thinking stands in contrast to everything I believe in. But if I make them into an enemy, and become an adversary to them, then I am doing the same as they are doing.

I am a grateful addict for many reasons, one being that I know we free ourselves from the grip of the Mini Me by seeing its roots in ourselves and in all of us. When we can finally see the roots of fear-based and separation-based living within, and we wake up from them, not only do we free ourselves, but we elect liberated leaders.

Love,

Eddie

The Butterfly Effect

¡Hola! Everybody...
My online interactions will noticeably decrease as I struggle to catch up on paperwork I’ve ignored for most of the year. I will be posting (though not as often as in the past), but the debating/ comments part will be curtailed... This here is a repost.

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-=[ The Butterfly Effect ]=-

Feelings aren’t facts...

Think about it: how much time do we spend agonizing over things that, in the long run, are inconsequential? I submit that about 99.999999% of the shit we sweat in our lives is totally unnecessary. But sweat we do -- all the time.

Reminds me of a story. I love stories, so bear with me. A great teacher famous for teaching that life was all illusion was discovered sobbing uncontrollably by one of his followers. He was grieving because his son had passed away. Shocked, the follower asked his teacher, “Don’t you preach that all life is an illusion?” The teacher turned to his disciple and said, “Yes it is true that all of life is an illusion, but this is a big illusion.” LOL

And so it is with life: feelings aren’t facts, but it’s a fact that you feel. Some issues are graver than others and we can get stuck, but the real heart of the matter is how long we stay stuck. If we spend our lives feeling betrayed, angry, resentful, or insulted, then where is the time for living? You will blink your eyes one day and years have passed and realize they have been wasted fighting off a swarm of butterflies.

This is not to say that we shouldn’t be considerate of the way other people feel, or that our relationships are meaningless. I know I have made some genuine connections here on the ‘Net over the years and I am grateful for them. I happen to consider some as friends, but I have seen others show their real side. There are many people who engage in cruel behavior on here and in “real” life and rationalize it by saying some bullshit like, “It’s just the internet.” I submit that if you’re capable of cruelty here, then that potential exists somewhere in you.

Of course we shouldn’t proceed as if nothing mattered because that’s the other extreme and it’s called nihilism. What it does mean is that we choose our attitudes and reactions all the time.

There are plenty examples to go around. How many times have you caught feelings over a miscommunication and as a result exchanged insults. It’s happened to me. Some of us resemble out and out psychopaths, resorting to all kinds of stupidity. This happens for several reasons, but the main reason is that there is anger in our hearts. The tragedy (and comedy) in the grand scheme of things is: what did it matter? Not much is often the honest answer. But it matters that people feel insulted and disrespected, misunderstood and ridiculed.

Now, before anyone here begins commenting, let’s all be honest and just say we have all experienced similar events in our life, okay? I see it and hear it all the time. Most of the time, it’s not even worth it. That means you and I.

Shit happens: we lose jobs, grow out of relationships, get hurt, and betrayed. Shoot, I live in a city where pushing and jostling is considered OK. I run up against sweet old ladies who act like All Pro NFL linebackers when getting on and off the subway. LOL! The thing is that life is like that. There’s shit happening all the time. If you’re waiting for the perfect moment, with the perfect love (“The One”), at the perfect job, or location -- if you’re waiting for all that in order to smile and smell a flower, then you will have wasted your life waiting, because, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but there’s no Santa Claus, no Tooth Fairy and life is hard.

Life is hard and full of suffering. However, it’s also beautiful and amazing, the most precious gift, and the one true choice you have -- the one card you can play -- is whether you will face it all with a smile or a frown. This is it, people. I mean, I see all the wise quotes, but can you find the serenity within the chaos? Can you walk the walk? Can you sit in the midst of life and face it with joy and love -- all of it, not just the good shit?

Love,

Eddie

Finding and Getting Your Voice Heard

¡Hola! Everybody...
PEOPLE change the world...

I cribbed the following from a fellow activist on FB.

What? Any way you can get your message across counts.

You can either sit back and drone on about the end of time, or you can do something. I get the sense that sometimes people feel powerless. THAT'S the whole strategy, believe it or not.

I hope this serves you in some way...

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-=[ A Field-Manual to Getting Your Voice Heard ]=-

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change thew world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has.
-- Margaret Mead

Dear Facebook friends,

As you will see below, I recently wrote to my Facebook friend, Connie Schultz, asking for some guidance for you and me on how we might best impact Congress as the health care reform legislation process continues. Today, Nancy Pelosi unveiled the House version, and earlier Senator Reid put forth the Senate version – both with at least some form a public option. Now the real work of crafting the final legislation begins, and we deserved a seat at the table. Connie Schultz is a Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist for the Cleveland Plain Dealer, and coincidentally is married to Senator Sherrod Brown, D-OH. Connie has in the past told me that our telephone calls really do make a difference. Today I asked her for her counsel on which of the many options we all have available to us might really be the most effective. Connie doesn’t advertise her relationship with Senator Brown, nor does she hide it, but she doesn’t want to be thought of as a “back alley” into his personal office. I have always respected that, and you will see that reflected in the correspondence below. With that in mind, I asked Connie how she would want me to share with you the information I know you all would want to have. She replied that she had no problem with revealing my sources (as journalists like to say!), so I have elected to simply reproduce our correspondence verbatim below. Connie’s’ initial response to my query contains all the information any of you will need to make your voice heard in Washington in these critical days and weeks ahead. Yes, we can..!

Use this simple link to easily call ALL your representatives NOW:

Click here

Please re-post this note for the benefit of all your Facebook friends.

* * *

Connie,

Now that we have a real health care bill in both the House and the Senate, it’s clear that we all need to be contacting our representatives - supporting those who need our support, and convincing those who need our convincing. Many Facebook friends are asking me, “What’s the best thing we can be doing at this critical moment to make our voices heard?”

I have great respect for you, and you’ve told me before that Senators really do pay attention to their phone calls from constituents. We grassroots citizens have many options for action – we can phone our own representatives: we can phone representatives from other states and districts; we can send e-mails; we can send faxes; we can send real letters via the USPS; we can sign any number of online petitions; we can even protest in the streets and go to jail, as some of my Facebook friends bravely did in Baltimore yesterday.

My question to you is: which of these efforts is the best use of any citizen’s limited amount of time? Which are the most effective?

I look forward to hearing your response, and I’d also love to get your take on today’s House bill (your take, not the Senator’s) - and on where you believe we go from here.

All my best,

John Lundin

BELOW IS THE RESPONSE WITH THE ACTION PLAN:

John,

I am so grateful for your in-the-trenches activism.

Here's what works best: Original messages -- via e-mail, regular mail and phone messages -- to representatives and senators FROM THEIR CONSTITUENTS. I capitalize that because most offices have automatic filters for area codes, zip codes and IP addresses. Constituent mail is the only thing they care about because that is who they represent and -- in too many cases, unfortunately -- that is who is eligible to vote for or against them in the next election.

Even if you're fairly certain that your particular representative and senators will support what you support, it's important to weigh in. It gives them crucial ammunition to stand on the House and Senate floors and say: This is what the people of my state, my district, want. Can't overestimate the importance of this.

Online petitions and form letter/e-mails are far less effective. Personal narratives have the chance of inclusion in floor speeches.

I can't overemphasize the importance of weighing in now, in every direct and personal way possible. This is it. This is the time, particularly if we want to preserve the public option.

Also, calling in to local radio shows on the issue, and writing letters to the editor matter. I always encourage people to write letters to their local newspapers because, even if their letters do not run, editors are counting the responses as a way of gauging the mood of their readers.

Does this help?

Connie

* * *

Connie,

Thank you so much for your kind note, and for taking the time to answer in such a comprehensive manner. Does it help? Absolutely!

May I copy your recommendations and broadcast them to my nearly 3,000 Facebook friends? I could do that in any number of ways: I could just send out copies of your note, of course, but I could also do so with modifications and without mentioning you, if you prefer. I would probably not mention your relationship to the Senator, assuming that's what you would prefer, but I would like to give your advice some extra credibility by saying something like, "Pulitzer-award winning columnist and wife of a sitting Senator." lol Doesn’t give you much cover, does it..? You tell me what works for you.

The other thing I can do is simply offer your advice as mine, and figure out a way of saying I have this on very good authority, but leaving you completely anonymous as the source.

In any case, I again give you my sincerest thanks for the helpful information. My friends are working on this, and they will pass on the marching orders to their hundreds of friends, and we will have thousands working on this - literally.

All my best,

John

* * *

John, if it helps you to identify me in all my roles -- ahem -- then do so. I've made no secret of my support for a public option, nor am I shy about publicly expressing my love and admiration for my husband, who has worked tirelessly for this issue since his election to the house in 1992. He still refuses to take the Congressional health coverage until all Americans have access to affordable health care. I made him get on my plan when we married in 2004; we pay about $350 a month for his coverage. Could not be prouder of him.

Excerpt as you see necessary. We need to pass to health care reform.

Connie

Thinking Outside the Box

¡Hola! Everybody...
Last night was one of those magical NYC nights. I took a road less taken and headed uptown after work and walked among the trees of Central park. Simply magical!

BTW, when did we become such a judgmental society, so quick to judge and slow to reflect? Lately, I see too many of you act as if you were all toilet trained at gunpoint...

* * *

-=[ Human Potential ]=-

We throw our hands before our eyes and cry that it is dark.

-- Anonymous

I like to think that I have the mind of a scientist and the heart of the poet. I believe that only when we fuse the two that we arrive at true wisdom. Better put, wisdom is approximated at the intersection of the mind and heart -- when they become one. I’m not saying I am wise, just tryin’ to get me some integration up in this piece I call “Eddie.”

Without integration, we are blind our rational minds literally half-cocked. As blind in its obsession as the superstition it ridicules. Idolizing the power of reason does not banish the old passions and fears. It’s an illusion of control based on a myth of predictability. Our obsession for certainty grew out of a misunderstanding of science in its original sense. Science comes from the Latin scientia, knowing.

I know I’m losing you, but hold on for a moment. LOL!

Our ancestors spoke of “science and conscience” in one breath. They pronounced it “con science” (with knowledge). In ancient Latin conscientia meant knowledge with another person. In English, it came to mean “a knowledge of one’s inner truths,” or as the Oxford English Dictionary quotes, “deity in the bosom.”

What I call uncommon sense is science tempered by the heart. Rather, reason tempered by passion. This science is not the scientism we have made into a contemporary god. Our inordinate obsession with mindless materialism threatens, well, our material existence. Take, for example, the unquestioned assumption of the power of free markets to alleviate social ills. Let’s put aside for a moment the fact that there is no such thing as a “free” market: all markets are supported by government institutions. This allegiance to free market ideology is something similar to a superstition. A superstition that demands that only that which generates economic growth is worth doing undermines our sense of responsibility to our communities, to the environment, and to our quality of life. An awakened consciousness would tell us there is something terribly wrong with this form of thinking.

We have to wake up...

We have to become aware of the dysfunctional behavior patterns and that keep us locked in stupidity. Our ability to wake ourselves is more vital to our future than anything on our political agendas. Our intuitive sense tells us that specific problems all revolve a few core issues:

Can we become kinder, more rational beings?

Can our intelligence be enhanced?

Can we transcend the boundaries of our ego-centered goals and see the bigger picture?

Visionaries throughout history have debated the issue of human potential. Revolutionary philosophers have argued that “ordinary” people are potentially smarter and better than they’re cracked up to be. I tend to agree.

Today, the issue of human potential is literally life and death for our species. In the Middle Ages, sailors refused to travel beyond a certain point because they feared falling off the edge of the earth. Today, we have a similar counterpart: some call it a “Flat-Earth Psychology, an assumption about human limitations. On the other hand, there is also a human potential movement. Just as in the olden days, there were people who knew the earth was round and dared to journey past human-created limitations; today there are small groups of people with the daring to have visions. Visionary thinking in uncommon sense in action. Vision is an imagined goal that serves to organize our intelligence and set fire to our reason. Vision sees beyond limitations and prepares us to grasp the larger picture -- the world beyond this road.

The ability to see the possible and how to get there is the human potential for evolution and social progress. Vision is the cutting edge of human intelligence. Throughout history our ability to think experimentally -- or “out the box” -- has shaped us. What separated our Paleolithic ancestors was their remarkable ability for creativity and inventiveness.

I can’t help but think that there are forces today that, as one conservative pundit proudly proclaimed ‘sit athwart history.” Those very same forces that dismissed John F. Kennedy when he demanded we put a man on the moon before ten year’s time. That is exactly the kind of vision we need today, but we have become a nation of fools too enamored of ideological dogma. We need to wake up before it’s too late.

Love,

Eddie

The Big Hurt

¡Hola! Everybody...
Palin and the rest of the neocon twats need to stop crying. It’s not very mavericky. As Paul Begalia wrote recently (thanks Dale!), “Palin.... quit her job as city councilwoman to run for mayor of Wasilla. She quit her job as mayor of Wasilla to run for lieutenant governor. She quit her job as the head of the Alaska Oil and Gas Conservation Commission to run for governor.” She’s only a victim of her own self-destructive lack of impulse control and thirst for power.

On another note, the MJ Memorial made me cry... Stevie broke me up and then J-Hud took me down.

Summer re-runs, my friends. I wrote this a while back.

* * *

-=[ The Big Hurt ]=-

... So my philosophy is that life is like photography: use the negative to develop.

-- Steve Bhaerman

To live openly and transparently is not easy. Part of living with an open heart means saying yes to everything. Everything that we have spent years pushing away, everything we have tried to keep hidden -- all the shameful things -- return to be embraced. This is what it means to be living honoring the Goddess -- the feminine essence.

The fact is that however committed we may be to living a life of awakening, however we may have been changed by realization, to feel -- to really feel -- without resistance takes a lot of cojones. To live openly and transparently is a work in progress at best. But the more I do it, the more fearless I become. The more fearless I become, the less you can hurt me, because I’m past that.

To live without the personal soap opera, without the “why” and “because,” to really live vulnerable and naked, and open to each feeling that arises is to live as in an unbroken continuum of existence -- like a river flowing. The practice here is returning to feeling (what is) instead of hanging with emotion (the personal soap opera). It’s living and dying each moment and this is not always a good feeling. In fact it mostly doesn’t feel good. Most of what we have pushed away is painful, so the practice of embracing what we have repressed requires some discomfort.

But living in this way, even in the face of having failed is one of the most fulfilling practices you can undertake. It’s a helluva lot better than denying feeling. It’s, as one of my teachers liked to call it, a “glorious failure.” The reward is not pleasure, but depth, a real connection with our world and our inner lives. Living in this way -- open to all the hurt -- imparts the knowledge that is the secret of life (and not the crap from that bullshit book). For example, when hurt arises in my relationships I know that not resisting the hurt will take me down into something much deeper. Since this process is really fucked up and not very pleasurable, we often abandon it. Pain is inevitable in life. People will disappoint you and plans will go awry, for example. But suffering is optional. When I let go of the habitual clinging to feeling good and avoiding pain, I pass through into the deeper heart and the result is that I’m thrown into a deeper love. The Big Love.

Always.

But how do you feel with courage? That’s a good one. Here’s what the authors of Undefended Love teach about learning to feel with courage:

Let it pierce you, and if it disturbs you let it disturb you. If it tortures you, let it torture you, because that’s what awakening is. There is a misconception of awakening as always bliss. Ultimately, that is where we end up, but awakening stirs up whatever is within you so that it can find its path to its ultimate unfolding. Let it disturb you, let it pierce you, and find out what within you is having difficulty with the present moment.

I would encourage anyone to read that paragraph more than once -- there’s a lot there. When confronted with hurt in a relationship, being able to delve into the hurt (instead of running away from it) gave me the guidance of a wiser response.

Living openly allows us to respond to new situations differently. When a lover doesn’t call, when I get less appreciation than I want/ need, when someone treats me with less consideration than I deserve, instead of getting stuck emotionally, I learn to feel more deeply, how to surf that feeling home into the Big Love.

This creates a cease-fire and when news of this cease-fire reaches all the neurons in your brain, old feelings arise and return home because they are accepted as family and they are reunited. Old feelings return in order to be met, without any apparent encouragement. In other words, shit happens.

Here’s what I do whenever I feel stirred up. I try to listen to the story my thoughts are telling me about why I feel upset. An emotional hijacking is always composed of an external event and a contraction in the body. Focusing on the event will only make you more upset (“That bitch!”). Staying with the body -- the feeling -- helps you move deeper. I’m going to ask what might seem as an obvious question: Do you know for sure why you feel as you do? When you take the time to explore this question, what often happens is that a feeling or a sensation actually came before the emotional hijacking rather than followed it. When we abandon the need to know why, we are then free to deal with the totality of life. Be open. Without the story, the soap opera (emotion) the feeling (what is) may change very quickly into something else.

It can change from outrage and hurt to compassion.

Love,

Eddie

Relationship Thursdays (The Experiment)

¡Hola! Everybody...
The weather here lately has been fantastic! Now, the weather is apart from our estimation of the day, right.

Right?

Today: more jacked up shit about relationships from someone who isn’t in one! LOL

* * *

-=[ The Joyful Experiment ]=-

The Seven Factors of Awakening are mindfulness, investigation of phenomena, diligence, joy, ease, concentration, and letting go.

-- Thich Nhat Hanh

People think I’m kidding when I tell them that if they come to my workshop they may very likely leave their relationships.

It never fails. I have yet to hold a workshop where someone doesn’t tell me they left a relationship as a result of what they experienced in my workshop... this is true.

My workshops have nothing to do with relationships per se, but I used to think that part of the reason was that if you hold yourself to certain standards, you begin to hold others to the same standards and those that refuse or cannot be accountable, naturally fall by the wayside. I now realize that’s only part of the reason.

The other part is love. This is where it gets tricky, however. I hear people all the time say, “Today I love myself,” implying a past in which that wasn’t true. That’s cool, I can dig that. However, what I often find with such individuals is that they’re in love with their egos -- especially the dysfunctional parts of their ego. This is not cool. Let me put it this way: if what you love is the dysfunction, then how does that change anything for the better? I see a lot of angry people walking around these days, irreversibly in love with their anger. LOL!

Actually, loving in that way is not really love, it’s a form of clinging, something many of us (myself included) mistake for love. Loving yourself is important, but the real skill lies in exploring what you consider your self to be. For me (and this is part of my theoretical orientation <-- smart-sounding phrase), coming back to love meant that my sense of self changed as I let go of limiting beliefs about my self. How I perceive that mess of entanglements, coincidences, and floating pieces of conditioned debris I call “my self” today is very different from how I saw that nineteen years ago. For one thing, it includes more of my world: there’s me, my loved ones, my community, my state, my nation -- the world! I am not separate from all that.

Therefore, part of genuinely loving yourself is letting go of those parts that bring you unnecessary pain. When you love, there’s no clinging, there’s only freedom -- pure consciouness. We don’t see love in that way. We love somebody only if they agree to love us back. Or if we have someone that loves us, we guard that love as if it were a rare commodity. The upshot being that we sometimes live in fear of losing that love. For me, that’s not love, that’s a form of psychosis. If your relationship is based on mutual need, eventually that relationship will fail. any relationship not based on love is on shaky ground to begin with.

I’m sure by now someone reading this will be shaking his or head and thinking that I don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about and they may be right. However, how has it worked for you otherwise? I am aware of the internet phenomenon in which people who respond are sometimes perfect beings, were raised without hang-ups, are in perfect relationships, or used to be in “bad” relationships, but no longer are, and are well-adjusted, highly realized human beings. If you’re one of these individuals, then you shouldn’t read my blog, this is for the rest of us deeply fragmented, clueless, and mistake-prone mere mortals.

Life, for me, is an experiment; joy its intended result.

You can approach life as an artist/ scientist. Scientists take action and then observe the results. If that action does not bring the desired effect, they keep changing the actions until they find one that brings the results that are wanted. With an approach like this, you can observe the results of your actions and in that way move toward the desired result.

Let’s assume the desired result is joy. If you are experiencing pain, you can change what you do. You can also note which actions result in joy and expand on that expression.

As an artist, you can paint the picture of your life. If there are some elements, colors, or textures that do not fit your artistic vision of life, then it’s probably not working for you. Artists take risks and experiment in order to get in touch with their inner expression. Take the artistic risk and get in touch inside.

How?

Well, what ways have you tried in the past? How has going from one marriage to another, one relationship to another, worked for you? If your approach is to place the power of your vision externally (blaming others, God, etc.), the results -- joy -- will be limited by those outside factors. If your mood is dependent on whether it rains or not, for example, then it is safe to say that you’re going to be a crabby biatche a significant amount of the time.

Let's take loneliness. Oftentimes, we look for and stay in otherwise unrewarding relationships because we ant to avoid feeling lonely. Many people have confided in me that being with someone beats being lonely even if the relationship brings a lot of pain. My question then is: is that really true? How many times have you held someone in your arms and still feel a profound loneliness? Take a moment and look at everything you do and ask the question, “Does this bring me joy?” That is the only criteria to use, as you look at your life as an artistic scientist.

Love,

Eddie

The Open Mind

¡Hola! Everybody...
I have ahead of me what promises to be a challenging and busy day ahead...

* * *

-=[ The Open Mind & Frozen Thinking ]=-

“Convictions make convicts.”

-- Robert Anton Wilson

I came across this quote and I had to laugh for several reasons. One is the simple but elegant truth of the words, another because I am a former “convict.” LOL! I like what the great French writer, Camus, said about convictions -- something about not dying for them because he might be wrong.

I am struck by the sense I get from both quotes: rigid thinking, or adhering to rigidly held beliefs, choke creativity. Oh yeah, did I mention I am obsessing about creativity? One common theme I hear coming up constantly is people’s need for more creativity -- especially in the realm of work and relationships.

I hear it from people all the time: how they wish they could work at jobs that allowed for more creativity. The irony is that creativity is a choice that can be taken anywhere at anytime under any circumstances. If I were to allow it (and sometimes I do), my work could quickly morph into a dry set of rituals of paperwork and referrals.

If we take a look at our internal dialog we will find thought constellations and belief systems in that often act as self-fulfilling prophesies. If you think and believe you’re ugly, stupid, or incompetent, then it will be so. In fact, we come to take these thoughts and beliefs as real -- as absolutes. I call this “frozen thinking.”

The creative potential within all of us is the most effective tool for combating the negative consequences of frozen thinking. A mind directed by the creative force is by nature an open mind.

In the past I have written about the “enlightened” or open heart. Today I am reflecting on the open mind. I would say, and I think it would be correct, that when people think of a creative mindset, they think of a mind full of ideas and brilliant new insights. My own experience tells me the creative mind is both full and empty. It is able to create within itself a space for the new to arise. A creative mindset is constantly opening itself to the internal and external world. The open mind is like a stream of clear water -- in constant translucent movement.

The open mind can be relaxed and playful. It is filled with curiosity and wonder. The open mind has a childlike quality about it. It loves to go off the beaten track, to explore paths not taken by social convention.

Playfulness is important. The open mind likes to play with an idea or object, and enjoys looking at it as if for the first time. Try this one day: take a walk around your neighborhood and pretend you are a tourist. Take note of how your perception of the mundane and “normal” changes when you do this.

The open mind stays receptive to the possibility that we may not know everything there is to know -- and what we do know may be wrong. It challenges assumptions, makes new connections, finds new ways of looking at the world. The open mind can wander joyously into areas others do not take seriously, and return with creations that must be approached in all seriousness.

Some of the most creative minds in history have allowed themselves to drift into dreams states and extended meditations during which they have played with the irrational, the symbolic, the metaphorical, and the mysterious. Often they returned with images that they translate into theories, compositions, and actions.

This is a scary journey into the unfamiliar for me -- there are discoveries so strange that I want to cover them back up and run. LOL! Whether exploring the depths of the human soul or the depths of matter, artists, mystics, scientists, and ordinary folks like you and me, come face to face with chaos and disorder. And it is the larger patterns of this perceived disorder that we find our intuitive voice. The open mind thrives on difference and remains open to the contradictory.

Paz, Amor, y Dinero,

Eddie

Learned Helplessness

¡Hola! Everybody...
I’m jumping right into today’s post...The following is in reference to a social networking site, Multiply, I frequent. There's a group there that uses racial epithets regularly, a clear violation of the site's terms of service. For details and context click here

* * *

-=[ Learned Helplessness vs Change ]=-

“Culturally the Negro represents a paradox: Though he is an organic part of the nation, he is excluded by the entire tide and direction of American Culture... Therefore if, within the confines of its present culture, the nation ever seeks to purge itself of its color hate, it will find itself at war with itself, convulsed by a spasm of emotional and moral confusion.”

-- Richard Wright, Black Boy

[As part of society, we are ultimately the ones that determine what kind of world we envision. If you find the use of racial epithets acceptable, read no further. If hate speech offends your idea of a civil society, then please read my post and if you agree, sign the online petition (click here)]

The second vilest sin (second only to ignorance) I come across on a regularly basis is the notion that we have no power. The sentiment seems to be, “Well, sure it’s (<-- insert any form of getting reamed here) wrong, but I can’t make a difference, so why bother.”

Observe that the same negative defeatist attitude dominates both forms of thought. In psychology this type of belief system is called learned helplessness.

AmeriKKKa? This is your brain on cynicism.

Recently it was brought to my attention that a political internet group, Robust Debate, has resorted to using hate speech as a way to intimidate people of color and women. Racial epithets such as “nigger” and “boy” are common and women are often referred to as “bitches.”

I am a firm believer in free speech and that’s why I have taken the time to understand the First Amendment. There are limits to free speech. You can’t stand up in a crowded theater and yell “fire” without suffering the consequences because that would be considered a crime. However, I believe that even the vilest ideologies should be given the same freedoms as other speech. The 1^st Amendment has to apply to all ideas, even those we find offensive.

My post, however, is not about the First Amendment. It’s really about the fair implementation of website Terms of Service (TOS). As many who read me know, I’ve been kicked out of a certain website so many times it isn’t funny. No, I don’t harass people, I don't cyber stalk women, nor do I insist people read my blogs. I've been banned mostly because of my ideas.

Because unshophisticated people often find my views abhorrent, I have a big problem with censorship of any kind. However, my post isn't about censorship...

If the owners of this site find my thoughts and ideas out of line and I'm deleted, that’s their right and choice, it is their site. But from what I understand, TOS also warn users against using hate speech. Websites are privately owned and they can determine what they allow to happen on their sites. If I get bounced for expressing my ideas regarding organized religion or the sexual development of children, then why isn’t an individual calling another human being a nigger or a bitch being treated similarly?

I’m asking that you consider this. There is no sane place in this world for hate. Do you think it’s right for some people to be held to one standard while others are allowed to use racial epithets without consequence? This is about fairness and everyone being held to the same standard on a privately-owned website.

And for those who say that there’s no use in speaking truth to power, I’ll leave you with a story that brings it home for me.

I was once marching in Washington, DC against some injustice, I forget which. At the time, I had been feeling very frustrated at the state of politics in this country. Less than half of those eligible to vote did, and one of the results was the re-election an incompetent to the Oval Office -- re-elected!

I was marching alongside this elderly African-American lady who had to use a walker. She was veteran from the peak years of the civil rights movement -- someone who marched in the South when they would let dogs loose on you if you had the audacity to demand equal rights. I asked her how she could continue the struggle in the face of so much failure. Her response will stay with me until the day I die:

With a smile that belied her rebel attitude, she explained to me that she didn’t risk everything because she hoped or expected win over those who disagreed with her or held formidable economic and political power. Rather, she recognized that -- as powerless as she was -- she was determined to use her courage and determination as a weapon to harass embedded power structures. Her goal was defiance she told me.

She also explained that she avoided discouragement because the moment she chose resistance as a strategy against slave mentality, she was triumphant. Nothing the power elite could do could ever diminish her triumph.

Finally, she emphasized that we owed it to both our ancestors and our children. We owed it to our ancestors, many of whom fought slavery and oppression knowing they would never see it abolished in their lifetimes. More importantly, we owe it to our children, who need to have the road cleared for their own resistance. Children who need the power of example of defiance in the face of hate in order for them to shake off the shackles of ignorance and passive acceptance.

So, the next time you say some stupid-assed sh!t such as, “What difference can I make,” remember that. Remember people died so you could walk around saying stupid sh!t. Whatever your decision today -- whether you agree with me or not, or sign the petition (or not) -- is irrelevant. What is important is if you are making a stand. I will not engage your thinking on this. If you act, you act; if you don't, you don't. This is about action (or the lack thereof), not talk.

Paz,

Eddie