Flirting

¡Hola! Everybody...
As you have probably heard, Sen. Ted Kennedy, “the Lion of the Senate,” passed away earlier today. He may have been an imperfect human being, but he was a masterful legislator. Look at all of his legislative accomplishments: Voting Rights Act, Americans with Disabilities Act, Title 9, WIC for feeding the poor, CHIP for child healthcare, expansion of Medicare. Hundreds of his bills became law. His death is our democracy’s loss. RIP Mr. Kennedy.

Part of the “Summer Reruns” series...

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-=[ The Art of the Flirt ]=-

Beauty is power; a smile is its sword.

-- Charles Reade

As most of you have probably noticed by now, I am a notorious flirt. I will flirt with anyone: age, sexual orientation, even species, has no effect one me -- if it moves, I will flirt with it. I’m also a bit out of control. Those who have met me in person and seen me in a group context know I am absolutely out of my mind. Most of you think of stuff; I actually do stuff.

One day, some friends and I went out and we met a group of young ladies. Of course, I was all over the place, pushing the envelope, laughing, doing stuff, and we were all having a good time. No sooner than a friend of mine tried to the same thing I was doing, he was slapped -- well, almost slapped. My friend wondered aloud why I get away with doing stuff all the time.

I think I know why. The reason why women allow me some latitude is that they sense that my flirting and carrying on comes from a good place. My intention is to have fun. My flirting is most often about poking fun at conventions and many women get that. I might take a woman’s hand or do outrageous stuff, but I like to think most women get where I’m coming from. In other words, I’m not coming from a creepy place.

What I’m saying is that not all my flirting is romantic in nature. Sometimes my flirting has more to do with making fun of a situation or myself in a way that makes people comfortable. What my friend doesn’t get is that women can feel his intentions -- that’s why he doesn’t get away with the things I’m allowed to do.

Besides, you really shouldn’t be following my lead -- I’m not exactly the ideal model here.

On the other hand, when I’m in a relationship, I am much more conscious about my interactions with the opposite sex. A lot depends on the woman I’m with. I would never want a woman to feel badly around me, so when I’m with someone, whether it be a casual date, or in a committed relationship, I adapt my behavior accordingly. The irony is that I find more women telling me it’s okay for me to act out. Even then, I like to think I am considerate of others.

I say this because I know many people who know me exclusively through my internet interactions see me as an incorrigible flirt, and to a degree, I am. However, that’s only one aspect of my personality. I mean, those who have chatted with me, or met me, or talked to me on the phone know that we could go for hours and I won’t bring up the topic of sex. I think people get that impression of me from my internet persona.

As I have stated previously, the aspect that I show most on internet is the performer side of my personality. I am actually quite respectful -- the perfect gentleman -- in person, and I challenge any woman who has me t me personally (except you. LOL!) to say otherwise. I was taught to be the perfect gentleman by the women who raised me, and I like being that way. Flowers, poetry, consideration, respect, being willing to listen -- these are all qualities you might not experience with me here on the internet, but those are aspects of my personality too.

I think people have lost the art of the flirt. Like kissing, or anything worthwhile in life, flirting takes practice. It takes a willingness to be bold, but in a way that invites participation. It takes a sense of adventure and also an evolved sense of humor because with flirting comes risks. Flirting is a way to laugh in the face of social conventions and sometimes also a way to test the romantic waters. I don’t like to flirt just to see how far I can go, that’s not fun. Like saying something outrageous to see if it’s permitted or not? I’m not like that. If I want to go to bed with you, eventually, I will bring up the subject in a very non-flirtatious manner. It will be more along the lines of, “I’m becoming very much attracted to you, your way of being, and I’m developing these feelings for you blah blah blah… ” I’m very much upfront about where I stand and what I’m feeling.

No, flirting is fun. It’s a way for adults to loosen up, break down some barriers, and push the envelope. Nevertheless, the most important part of the flirt is always maintaining an intention of respect. For me, that’s the sexiest form of flirting.

How about you? Do you like to flirt and do you think I’m out of control?

Flirtatiously Yours,

Eddie

The Open Mind

¡Hola! Everybody...
I have ahead of me what promises to be a challenging and busy day ahead...

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-=[ The Open Mind & Frozen Thinking ]=-

“Convictions make convicts.”

-- Robert Anton Wilson

I came across this quote and I had to laugh for several reasons. One is the simple but elegant truth of the words, another because I am a former “convict.” LOL! I like what the great French writer, Camus, said about convictions -- something about not dying for them because he might be wrong.

I am struck by the sense I get from both quotes: rigid thinking, or adhering to rigidly held beliefs, choke creativity. Oh yeah, did I mention I am obsessing about creativity? One common theme I hear coming up constantly is people’s need for more creativity -- especially in the realm of work and relationships.

I hear it from people all the time: how they wish they could work at jobs that allowed for more creativity. The irony is that creativity is a choice that can be taken anywhere at anytime under any circumstances. If I were to allow it (and sometimes I do), my work could quickly morph into a dry set of rituals of paperwork and referrals.

If we take a look at our internal dialog we will find thought constellations and belief systems in that often act as self-fulfilling prophesies. If you think and believe you’re ugly, stupid, or incompetent, then it will be so. In fact, we come to take these thoughts and beliefs as real -- as absolutes. I call this “frozen thinking.”

The creative potential within all of us is the most effective tool for combating the negative consequences of frozen thinking. A mind directed by the creative force is by nature an open mind.

In the past I have written about the “enlightened” or open heart. Today I am reflecting on the open mind. I would say, and I think it would be correct, that when people think of a creative mindset, they think of a mind full of ideas and brilliant new insights. My own experience tells me the creative mind is both full and empty. It is able to create within itself a space for the new to arise. A creative mindset is constantly opening itself to the internal and external world. The open mind is like a stream of clear water -- in constant translucent movement.

The open mind can be relaxed and playful. It is filled with curiosity and wonder. The open mind has a childlike quality about it. It loves to go off the beaten track, to explore paths not taken by social convention.

Playfulness is important. The open mind likes to play with an idea or object, and enjoys looking at it as if for the first time. Try this one day: take a walk around your neighborhood and pretend you are a tourist. Take note of how your perception of the mundane and “normal” changes when you do this.

The open mind stays receptive to the possibility that we may not know everything there is to know -- and what we do know may be wrong. It challenges assumptions, makes new connections, finds new ways of looking at the world. The open mind can wander joyously into areas others do not take seriously, and return with creations that must be approached in all seriousness.

Some of the most creative minds in history have allowed themselves to drift into dreams states and extended meditations during which they have played with the irrational, the symbolic, the metaphorical, and the mysterious. Often they returned with images that they translate into theories, compositions, and actions.

This is a scary journey into the unfamiliar for me -- there are discoveries so strange that I want to cover them back up and run. LOL! Whether exploring the depths of the human soul or the depths of matter, artists, mystics, scientists, and ordinary folks like you and me, come face to face with chaos and disorder. And it is the larger patterns of this perceived disorder that we find our intuitive voice. The open mind thrives on difference and remains open to the contradictory.

Paz, Amor, y Dinero,

Eddie