When Doves Cry

¡Hola! Everybody…
Today: a song... and then I get all pedantic on your ass!

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-=[ When Doves Cry ]=-

Why do we scream at each other/ this is what it sounds like/ When doves cry…

-- Prince

A pair of doves, male and female, decided to share a nest together. In autumn, when the nuts were ripe, they worked hard to gather them and fill their nest. After some time, however, the nuts dried up and shrank. This caused them to take less space and give the appearance that there was less -- filling up only half the space.

Well, when the male dove noticed this, he got pissed off and said, “After all that hard work we went through gathering these nuts and now you’ve gone and eaten half of them you greedy bitch!”

The female dove, hurt by the accusation, answered, “I didn't eat them! All the nuts are here, they've just become smaller.”

The male dove could not be persuaded and became even more furious. “If you didn't eat them,” he asked in an accusing tone, “then why are there less?!! Don't get all brand new on me, you fat skank!” Consumed by his rage, he pecked at the female dove with his sharp beak until she was dead.

Several days passed and a heavy rain fell, then nuts got wet, reconstituted, filled up, and again there was a full nest of nuts. When the male dove saw this, he was ashamed and thought, “She didn't eat them after all. I killed her for no reason.”

Throughout the forest, you could hear his cries of grief, “Where are you, where have you gone?”

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There are many people who are lost in a cloud of confusion. They pursue pleasure as if it could last forever and don't understand that life -- by its very nature -- is impermanent. People often do as they please, in the process breaking important boundaries and prohibitions, and later they feel remorse and grief. What purpose does that achieve? They are like the dove that mistakenly killed his mate.

Pedantically Yours,

Eddie

Siren Song

¡Hola! Everybody...
Gentlemen: Imagine for a moment that through some random evolutionary adaptation, our penises grew from our foreheads instead of between our legs (after all, it makes more sense from a woman's pleasure perspective). Now, imagine how it would feel if every time you went out in public, women would make untoward remarks about the size (or lack thereof), shape, attractiveness, or unattractiveness of your penis. Complete strangers commenting on something highly personal, something you have mixed feelings about (because ti's either too small or too big, or bent at the head, etc.). Imagine that as soon as you reached puberty (and even before) women would make cruel, oftentimes publicly humiliating remarks about your penis. If you can imagine how this would feel (and let's be real: most of you would die if a woman so much as pointed at your penis and laughed), then you have a very small idea of what it feels like to be a woman and do something as mundane as take a walk.

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-=[ Listening to the Songs of the Sirens ]=-

Excerpted from Taking the Leap: Freeing Ourselves from Old Habits and Fears

By Pema Chodron

Ulysses, the hero of ancient Greek mythology, exemplifies the courage it takes to consciously choose staying receptive and present when the temptation to get swept away is intense.

When he was making the sea voyage home to Greece after the Trojan War, Ulysses knew that his ship would have to pass through a very dangerous area that was inhabited by beautiful maidens known as the sirens. He had been warned that the call of these women was irresistible, and that sailors couldn’t help but steer towards the sirens, crash their boats onto the rocks, and drown.

Nevertheless, Ulysses wanted to hear the song of the sirens. He knew the prophecy that if anyone could hear their voices and not go towards them, the sirens would lose their power forever and wither away. This was the challenge that compelled him.

As his ship neared the sirens’ homeland, Ulysses told his men to put wax plugs in their ears and to tie him tightly to the mast, instructing them that no matter how hard he struggled and gestured, no matter how wrathfully he appeared to be ordering them to cut his ropes, they were not to untie him until the ship reached a familiar point of land well out of earshot of the sirens’ song. This story, as you might expect, has a happy ending. The men followed his instructions and Ulysses made it though.

To a greater or lesser degree we will all have to go through similar discomfort in order not to follow the call of our own personal sirens, in order to step through the open doorway to awakening.

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Love,

Eddie

Heaven and Earth: Political Spirituality

¡Hola! Everybody...
Religion and politics are always a dangerous mix. Here I choose to differentiate between “religion” and “spirituality.”Notice there are no "Thou Shalt nots" here. And I am sure I fail at some of these some of the time.

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-=[ Political Precepts ]=-

The Fourteen Precepts of Interbeing

(Adapted from Interbeing, by Thich Nhat Hanh)

I like to call myself a “practicing Buddhist,” whatever that means. I guess it’s a reference to the precepts I have taken. Traditionally, the Buddhist precepts address our individual behavior towards others -- not to kill, lie, engage in manipulative sexual relations, steal, etc. In order for a discipline to remain relevant, it must be able to address contemporary life. Refraining from harmful actions today is a much more subtle endeavor. We have to recognize that we also do harm as citizens, consumers, through denial or attachment to rigid views, and even in the way we seek entertainment and pleasure. The Order of Interbeing, founded by the Vietnamese Zen Monk, Thich Nhat Hanh, proposes the following fourteen mindfulnesses of the way we create suffering in the modern world and vows not to continue them. Whatever your spiritual orientation (or lack thereof), I think these are a good place to start any political process.

1

Aware of the suffering created by fanaticism and intolerance, we are determined not be idolatrous about or bound to any doctrine, theory, or ideology, even Buddhist ones. Buddhist teachings are guiding means to help us look deeply and to develop our understanding and compassion. They are not doctrines to fight, kill, or die for.

2

Aware of the suffering created by attachment to views and wrong perceptions, we are determined to avoid being narrow-minded and bound to present views. We shall learn and practice nonattachment from views in order to be open to receive others' insights and experiences. We are aware that the knowledge we presently possess is not changeless, absolute truth. Truth is found in life and not merely in conceptual knowledge, and we will observe life within and around us in every moment, ready to learn throughout our lives.

3

Aware of the suffering brought about when we impose our views on others, we are not committed to force others, including children, by any means whatsoever -- such as authority, threat, money, propaganda, or indoctrination -- to adopt our views. We will respect the right of others to be different and to choose what to believe and how to decide. We will, however, help others renounce fanaticism and narrowness through deeply engaging and compassionate dialogue.

4

Aware that looking deeply at the nature of suffering can help us develop compassion and find ways out of suffering, we are determined not to avoid contact with suffering or close our eyes before suffering. We are committed to finding ways, including personal contact, to be with those who are suffer, so we can understand their situation deeply and help them transform their suffering into compassion, peace, and joy.

5

Aware that true happiness is rooted in peace, solidarity [groundedness], freedom, and compassion, and not in wealth and fame, we are determined not to take as the aim of our life fame, profit, wealth, or sensual pleasure, nor to accumulate wealth while millions are hungry and dying. We are committed to living simply and sharing our time, energy, and material resources with those who are in need. We will practice mindful consuming, not using alcohol, drugs, or any other products that bring toxins into our own and the collective body and consciousness.

6

Aware that anger blocks communication and creates suffering, we are determined to take care of the energy of anger when it arises and to recognize and transform the seeds of anger that lie deep in our consciousness. When anger comes up, we are determined not to do or say anything, but to practice mindful breathing or mindful walking and acknowledge, embrace, and look deeply into our anger. We will learn to look with the eyes of compassion at ourselves and at those we think are the cause of our anger.

7

Aware that life is available only in the present moment and that it is possible to live happily in the here and now, we are committed to training ourselves to live deeply each moment of daily life. We will try not to lose ourselves in dispersion or be carried away by regrets about the past, worries about the future, or craving, anger, or jealousy in the present. We will practice mindful breathing to come back to what is happening in the present moment. We are determined to learn the art of mindful living by touching the wondrous, refreshing and healing elements that are inside and around us, and by nourishing the seeds of joy, peace, and understanding in ourselves, thus facilitating the work of healing and transformation in our consciousness.

8

Aware that lack of communication always brings separation and suffering, we are committed to training ourselves in the practice of compassionate listening and loving speech. We will learn to listen deeply without judging or reacting and refrain from uttering words that can create discord or cause the community to break. We will make every effort to keep communication open and to reconcile and resolve all conflicts however small.

9

Aware that words create suffering or happiness, we are committed to learning to speak truthfully and constructively, using only words that inspire hope and confidence. We are determined not to say untruthful things for the sake of personal interest or to impress people, nor utter words that cause division or hatred. We will not spread news that we do not know to be certain nor criticize or condemn things of which we are not sure. We will do our best to speak out about situations of injustice, even when doing so may threaten your own safety.

10

Aware that the essence and aim of a sangha is the practice of understanding and compassion, we are determined not to use the Buddhist community for personal gain or profit, or transform your community into a political instrument. A spiritual community should, however, should take a clear stand against oppression and injustice and should strive to change the situation without engaging in partisan conflicts.

11

Aware that great violence and injustice have been done to our environment and society, we are committed to not live with a vocation that is harmful to humans and nature. We will do our best to select a livelihood that helps realize our ideal of understanding and compassion. Aware of global economic, political, and social realities, we will behave responsibly as consumers and as citizens, not supporting companies that deprive others of their chance to live.

12

Aware that much suffering is caused by war and conflict, we are determined to cultivate nonviolence, understanding, and compassion in our daily lives, to promote peace education, mindful mediation, and reconciliation within families, communities, nations, and in the world. We are determined not to kill nor let others kill. We will diligently practice deep looking with our sangha to discover better ways to protect life and prevent war.

13

Aware of the suffering caused by exploitation, social injustice, stealing, and oppression, we are committed to cultivating loving-kindness and learning ways to work for the well-being of people, animals, plants, and minerals. We will practice generosity by sharing our time, energy, and material resources with those who are in need. We are determined not to steal and not to Possess anything that should belong to others. We will respect the property of others, but prevent others from profiting from human suffering or the suffering of other beings.

14

Aware that sexual relations motivated by craving cannot dissipate the feeling of loneliness but will create more suffering, frustration, and isolation, we are determined not to engage in sexual relations without mutual understanding, love, and a long-term commitment. In sexual relations, we must be aware of future suffering that may be caused. We know that to preserve the happiness of ourselves and others, we must respect the rights and commitments of ourselves and others. We will do everything in our power to protect children from sexual abuse and to protect couples and families from being broken by sexual misconduct. We will treat our bodies with respect and preserve our vital energies (sexual, breath, spirit) for the realization of the bodhisattva ideal. We will be fully aware of the responsibility of bringing new lives into the world, and will meditate on the world into which you are bringing new beings.

About the Order of Interbeing Founder

Thich Nhat Hanh was born in Vietnam in 1926, and he left home as a teenager to become a Zen monk. In Vietnam, he founded the School of Youth for Social Service, Van Hanh Buddhist University, and the Tiep Hien Order (Order of Interbeing). He has taught at Columbia University and the Sorbonne, was Chair of the Vietnamese Buddhist Peace Delegation to the Paris Peace Talks, and was nominated by Martin Luther King, Jr. for the Nobel Peace Prize. Since 1966, he has lived in exile in France, where he continues his writing, teaching, gardening, and helping refugees worldwide. He is the author of seventy-five books including Being Peace, The Miracle of Mindfulness, and The Sun, My Heart.

Love,

Eddie

Lifting the Veil

¡Hola! Everybody...
Not feeling well these past two days...

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-=[ Behind the Curtain ]=-

Information crashes against our eyes at the speed of light, slams onto our eardrums at the speed of sound, and courses through our mind/ body as fast as an electro-chemical signal can flash from one neuron to the next. How do we deal with this sensory onslaught without getting overwhelmed? By blocking out most of it, and putting the brakes on what little is left.

The brain freezes the world into separate mind moments, each containing a barely adequate amount of information, and then processes these one by one in a linear fashion. The result is a world compiled more or less by what’s “out there,” but mostly organized around the limitations of the machine constructing it. It’s as if the brain and its senses quickly take a series of snapshots, and then weave them together into a movie -- our stream of consciousness. The Buddhists have a pretty good way of describing this system: delusion.

This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, nor does it mean that we are stupid, it means that the mind/ body is designed (in a way) to distill or distort reality in a fundamental way. For one thing, this helped us survive as a species. If we were to take in the totality of reality, we would’ve long ago joined the ranks of extinct life forms.

First, creating this “shorthand” of reality allowed us to make decisions quickly (Do we fight, or do we run? Do we fuck it, or eat it?). Secondly, each mind moment creates an artificial center of stability out of a reality that constantly changing and almost impossible to capture. Like the rapid unfolding of the individual frames of a film, these mind moments give the illusion of movement. As the films plays, we create all kinds of stories about the way things are, filling in the blanks of discarded data with assumptions, projections, and aspirations. Taking this process as real, we go seek gratification and security to a level that the system cannot support. The inevitable disappointment is centered on the idea of “me,” who is both the one who wishes things were different than they are and the one who suffers when they are not. In other words, we are hardwired to misperceive reality by ignoring the impermanence, unsatisfactoriness, and selflessness of it all.

There is another way we filter out information at any given moment. Most of what comes in to the system doesn’t even reach our consciousness but is relegated to our unconscious. This is because the precious resource of conscious awareness is used to carry on the important daily activities of living. Information, for our awareness, is on a need to know basis. Take the experience of learning a new task, such as learning to play a musical instrument. At first we have to “think” about it and consciously try to make our fingers go where they are supposed to go. Eventually, as the right connections are made between the brain and the muscles of the fingers and hand, the patterns disappear into our pre- and subconscious and, after a while, it feels as if we are playing automatically.

This is a very efficient process, and before long, most of what we do in our lives is accomplished without having to be very conscious about it. One would assume that this process would work to free our psychic energy to do some creative things, but this is often not the case. More often, our awareness is spent looking for ways to find pleasurable experiences and getting more of them, or it is used to bitch and moan about unpleasant experiences and finding ways to avoid or destroy them. We use our creative energy -- our conscious mind -- to find new ways of wishing things were different from what they are, and our unconscious mind is relegated to maintaining the habits we have accumulated previously. The Buddhists have a good way of describing this state of mind: suffering.

The best definition of meditation I have encountered is “learning to stop arguing against reality.” We spend much of our lives and mental energy in conflict with reality. Our unconscious has been conditioned by all kinds of unhealthy patterns and these patterns help guide our behavior. We are not aware of most of these and, ironically, the only way we can change what we are not aware of is by changing something else first. We may not be able to see the unconscious conditioning, but we can become aware of the suffering they cause. By training our awareness in a methodical way, we strengthen its ability to open to more of the information available to the senses in the present moment. Mindfulness meditation is the art and practice of being present with whatever is happening here and now: when it is strong, we are not stuck arguing with reality. With less liking and disliking, there is less stress coming from the narrowly defined sense of you that keeps you separate from the rest of the world. As the influence of your terminal uniqueness decreases, suffering deceases also.

We are always working with an imperfect model of reality. What makes the difference, however, is to understand the limitations of our constructed world. To see more clearly how our perception is being used in skillful and unskillful ways, and to use that awareness in the service of creating well-being for ourselves and the well-being of those around us. The Buddhists have a word for that too: they call it wisdom.

Love,

Eddie

With Eyes of a Child's Wonder

¡Hola! Everybody...
As a boy of 13, I was sent to spend the summer vacation in Puerto Rico. Our next door neighbors were jibaros -- humble country folk in the city to toil as laborers. They suggested I go spend time in their small town. The town was smack in the middle of our beloved rainforest -- El Yunque. In order to access the town, you had to leave the car behind and walk two miles on a dirt road. There was no running water and these simple folk lived in ramshackle house. I never knew a happier people.

One day, the other children, seeing that I was besting them in baseball, invited me for a “swim.” El Yunque is nestled into Puerto Rico’s mountainous region and, being a city boy (I though a hog was a cow), I had never been at that altitude. I was an excellent swimmer, having learned to swim at Pitt St. pool at the age of five. We had to climb this mountain in order to get to the swimming locale. I almost died! Between the altitude, the heat, and the humidity, I became very weak. Determined, I plodded on (this was a mere walk in the park for the other kids). When I reached the top of that mountain, I saw a sight I will never forget: before me lay the most beautiful landscape ever imaginable. Their swimming pool was a series of cascading falls that looked like shimmering steps cut into the magnificent mountainside. I was awestruck -- glued to the spot, it was so beautiful to behold. I wish I had the ability to convey the beauty of that mountainside, but words fail me. It was so majestic; it was almost scary to look at.

I stayed in that small town for most of my vacation and when I left, the whole town came to see me off and everybody cried. By the time my aunt came to get me, I myself was a jibaro: shoeless, mosquito-bitten and toasted a light cinnamon by the Puerto Rican sun. I have never forgotten that experience.

One of the best things about being human is the ability to wonder at ourselves and the world, and be stunned into silence by the magnificent mystery of it all. My sense is that there are too many people with the attitude of “been there, done that” where in actuality they haven’t been anywhere or done much of anything. I am a skeptic, but I am not a cynic. I hope I never lose sight of the very human gift of wonder. For at that time, I will have died... Maybe I wasn’t born in El Yunque, but El Yunque was born in me. I’ve added a song, a very famous Puerto Rican song, called Lamento Borincano (click here for translation/ history) It is performed beautifully by Caetano Veloso. It is a song about El Jibaro.

Repost...

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-=[ Dependent Origination ]=-

“The fear of letting go prevents you from letting go of the fear of letting go.”

This is the doctrine at the heart Buddhism. You see, my dear reader, it goes this way: you are an insecure collection of coincidences held together by a desperate and irrational clinging. There is no center -- no center at all. Everything depends on everything else, your body depends on the ecology, your thoughts depend on whatever conditioned debris floats in from the media, your emotions are mostly from the reptilian end of your DNA. Your intellect, dear reader, is a chemical computer that can’t add up a zillionth as fast as a pocket calculator. Even your best side is a superficial piece of social conditioning that will fall apart as soon as your significant other leaves with the money in the bank account, or the economy fails and you get the boot, or you get conscripted into some village idiot’s war, or they give you the news about your brain tumor. To name this combination of self-pity, vanity, and despair self is not only the height of conceit, it is also proof that we’re a deluded species.

We are in a trance from birth to death. Burst the balloon and what are you left with?

Emptiness.

It’s not only us -- this radical principle applies to the whole sentient world. Dependent origination is not exactly everyone’s cup of tea, I admit. But it does have a compelling point: stop for a moment, still yourself, listen -- and you will find yourself on a planet you no longer recognize. Those needs and fears you thought were the very foundation of your existence turn out to be no more than bugs in your software…

Love,

Eddie

Monday Madness (Nintendo Dharma)

¡Hola! Everybody,
I just realized this morning that the memerial Day weekend comes a little early this year -- it’s next week! lately, I’ve been soooo unprepared and behind in all my dealings. Maybe it’s a combination of a new position, new home, and perhaps a new relationship?

I dunno...

Welcome back, Latina. Missed ya!

Today? Repost! LOL

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Many people ask me to post on meditation. I’ve run into so many people who say, “I tried it, but I can’t do it.” But this is like saying you tried seeing... if your vision works, then it follows that you should be able to see, no?

It’s the same with meditation: if you’re not in a vegetative state, then you have the tools with which to meditate. A part of human evolution is the emergence of what some scientists now call the “opposable thumb of consciousness” -- mindfulness. It’s hard to describe, but it’s the part of your consciousness that watches the watcher. The simplest way I can put it is that mindfulness is the ability to be aware that you’re aware. In any case, the only way you can access this function is by doing it.

Below, you’ll find a short article by a former teacher who explains in clear and elegant language, the notion of concentration and the development of mindfulness.

Enjoy.

Nintendo Dharma
Goldstein, J. (1993). Insight meditation: The practice of freedom. Boston: Shambhala.

You may have noticed how easy it is to stay present when you engage in an activity you enjoy, like playing some sport, watching a movie, reading a book, or even playing Nintendo. Why can we be so concentrated in these activities, and yet find ourselves distracted and restless when we meditate? Surprisingly, this simple question can lead us to a profound understanding of suffering and freedom.

What we call mind is the naturally pure knowing faculty‑invisible, clear, and lucid. In some Tibetan texts it is called "the cognizing power of emptiness." But mind includes more than just knowing, because in each moment of experience different qualities, or mental factors, arise with it and color the knowing in various ways. For example, greed, hatred, love, mindfulness, concentration, and wisdom, among many others, are all mental factors arising and passing in different moments, each functioning in its own way.

When we engage in various activities, different mental factors are at work. In Nintendo, we need to be right there with the game or we lose. The mind needs to be steady and one-pointed, with the factor of concentration quite strong. In addition to concentration, another quality of mind plays a critical role‑the mental factor of perception. Perception recognizes, names, and remembers appearances by picking out their distinguishing marks. Through the power of perception we recognize each appearing object of experience: woman, man, pine tree, Abraham Lincoln, computer, car, and innumerable others. Concentration and perception keep us present and absorbed in whatever life-game is happening.

Meditation practice is different. In order to develop insight and wisdom, we need to add the factor of mindfulness to the mental equation of concentration and perception. Mindfulness goes beyond the simple recognition of what is happening. It goes beyond keeping the mind steady. Through its strong power of observation, mindfulness uncovers the characteristic nature of experience itself.

Absorption in a movie or in Nintendo does not reveal the momentariness of phenomena. We do not see the impermanence and insubstantiality of all things and events, nor do we notice the empty nature of awareness itself. Perception and concentration arise in every moment; even when the mind gets lost in thought, we still recognize what it is we are thinking. But only mindfulness reveals that we are thinking. This is a critical difference. Perception by itself does not lead to insight into impermanence and selflessness, because it engages us in the content and story of what appears. Mindfulness emerges from the story and notices the moment-to-moment arising and passing of sense impressions, thoughts, and consciousness itself.

If we understand these three important factors of mind clearly -- concentration, perception, and mindfulness -- then their coming into balance becomes the field of freedom.

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Sunday Sermon (Karma and Evolution)

¡Hola! Everybody,
I went to see Vantage Point yesterday and was disappointed. I might post a more detailed review on multiply, but suffice it to say that the film is an example of great actors (!), and a good idea, gone to waste. The sad part is that I’m sitting there going this could be so much better...

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-=[ Karma, Reincarnation, and Evolution ]=-

When the historical Buddha asked us to examine our relationship to the elements as a path to the realization to the awareness that our body has no separate, independent existence, he was encouraging us to become scientists of the self. His instructions were based in part on one of his era’s principles known as the law of karma.

In Sanskrit, the word karma means “to do” or “to make,” and refers to the fact that every action is followed by consequences. As I have written before, in common modern usage karma has been corrupted to mean “payback” and has become synonymous with retribution. This is a faulty and misinformed concept of karma.

The Hindu law of karma, which was current when the Buddha lived, was concerned mostly with an individual’s actions in the world, and how the consequences of those actions would affect that person’s destiny, even in future lives. For example, if one person hurts another, that sets up whole series of events that ends in the first person experiencing pain. People today like to say, “Everything that goes around, comes around.” ::sigh::

The Buddha added a completely new dimension to this law by emphasizing that karma is also a psychological conditioning process that operates in this very life. He recognized that our thoughts as well as our actions have consequences and that those consequences take place in our own mind.

The Buddha advised us not to try to tease out all the specifics of the entanglement of our karma, saying it was imponderable. We could never isolate or measure all of the events and processes that have produced this particular here and now. What is important is to see the fact that nothing arises independent of causes and conditions. Equally important is that we become aware how unwholesome states such as hatred and greed create suffering. What happens when we do this is that we begin to see ourselves and each moment as embedded within all of creation.

It has nothing to do with other people getting their "payback."

All of this got me thinking (always a dangerous thing) yesterday and I came upon a series of photographs of the development of the human fetus. I was taken immediately at how it seems as if the development is a reflection of our evolutionary history.

Note: for the religious quacks that refuse to be convinced of evolution, please tell me you don’t believe the next time a vaccine created through the science of evolution saves your whacked out ass.

Looking at these photos, I came away thinking that the scientific story of evolution can offer a new angle on the idea of reincarnation. Life itself seems to reincarnate in form after form, with new forms of locomotion, perception, or types of consciousness. In fact, the human condition can be seen as our shared incarnation, part of common “evolutionary karma.”

Evolutionary science is even showing us some of the faces of our previous shared past. You can see, twitching away on a Petri dish, a living example of past life as a single-celled organism. In a water-breathing fish, you can imagine a version of yourself in a previous life, swimming through the single ocean that once covered the earth. You can perhaps more easily recognize yourself as a great ape, or as a Homo Habilis in the Stone Age.

But what struck me was that our shared lives could be even more easily recognized by looking at individual development in the womb. Think about it: within a nine-month period we develop from a single cell to a complex mammal, keeping the adaptations we might need and discarding those that are unnecessary, such as gills, and downsizing others, such as the acute olfactory region of the brain, since smell is no longer as essential to our survival as humans.

In the book, What Is Life? Dorion Sagan and Lynn Margulis put forward the depth of our inheritance: “We share more than 98 percent of our genes with chimpanzees, sweat fluids reminiscent of seawater, and crave sugar that provided our ancestors with energy three billion years before the first space station had evolved. We carry our past with us”

The notion that we have previous lives in the evolutionary past can extend beyond biology, into the realm of elemental forces and cycles. After all, the entire earth was once a cloud of gas, and later cooling into a molten mass. Were we not part of those too? The Vietnamese Buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hanh wrote in The Heart of Understanding, “As I look more deeply, I can see that in a former life I was a cloud. And I was a rock. This is not poetry; it is science. This is not a question of a belief in reincarnation. This is the history of life on earth.”

The concept of life evolving is not foreign to Buddhism, whether it be told in legends of reincarnation, or as the interconnection of all things in the universe. And perhaps most importantly it is expressed through the core belief in the possibility of transformation in this very life.

Love,

Eddie

Sunday Sermon (Karma)

¡Hola! Everybody,
I had quite an eventful day yesterday. My first driver flaked out and the second took forever. In the end, I was able to get only the things I had in storage into my room.

I still have some boxes in a friend’s basement and most of my clothes divided between two places (my sister’s and a “friend's”). At least I have most of all my books in one place. One of the ladies (two sisters are my roommates) asked me if I was a professor. LOL

I gave away furniture, an antique bedroom set made of solid mahogany.

I’m hoping to get a friend to help me today so I can move the rest of my things

I hate moving!

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-=[ Karma ]=-
“Contrary to popular misconception, karma has nothing to do with punishment and reward. It exists as part of our holographic universe’s binary or dualistic operating system only to teach us responsibility for our creations -- and all things we experience are our creations.”
-- Sol Luckman

In the allegorical novella, The Mountain, a man climbing a mountain kills a diseased old rat thinking he’s done something beneficial. What he didn’t realize was that the old rat, because it was too old and toothless, fed exclusively on certain insects. Once the rat was gone, these insects, who borrowed into the soil, multiplied causing soil erosion which eventually led to landslides and the destruction of an ecology.

Take a spiritual concept developed in one culture and transplant it to another and it will often be mangled beyond recognition. Nowhere is this truer than in Eastern spiritual practices adopted by Westerners raised mostly in Old Testament ideology. And nowhere is this more true than the law of karma.

Karma, in its simplest form, means action. But karma is more than cause and effect. It’s not merely “reaping what you sow.” In fact, as I mentioned yesterday, The Buddha called the workings of karma one of the “four unconjecturables.” We could drive ourselves crazy speculating on how it will play out, he said (Anguttara Nikaya 4.77).

Most questions and difficulties about karma and rebirth come from an understanding of karma in which people who suffer in this life probably caused some wrong in a previous life. Yet I can't imagine that the millions of victims of slavery, for example, that occurred throughout history suffer because of karmic law. Or, for another example, recently here in NYC a little girl was brutalized by her stepfather. She suffered in ways most adults will never understand and died sitting in cat litter, punishment for daring to eat some yogurt. I have a huge problem justifying that as “karma.”

In the earliest Buddhist writings, including the Pali Canon, it is clear that while karma has a significant bearing on the course of one’s life, other factors also influence one’s situation (see, for instance, Samyutta Nikaya, 36.21); not least of these is the karma of other people, which we cannot control. However, traditions such as Tibetan Buddhism emphasize individual karma as the sole cause of one’s happiness/sorrow. The implication of this, as stated by some Tibetan lamas, is troubling: that those in Rwanda etc., are reaping the consequences of karma sown in previous lives.

I view this understanding of karma as flawed and not very convincing nor helpful. It’s ridiculous to look at the suffering of others and speculate that these must result from their karma in former lives, especially when we cannot know the connections between their present condition and their former conduct. The factors that create the circumstances of an individual’s life are many and complex. Viewing the misfortunes of others purely in terms of their previous karma may encourage us to think that they must deserve them, which is not a skilful attitude.

On the other hand, it may be helpful for us to reflect that when misfortune befalls us we may have contributed to the situation; not so that we will feel self-loathing and blame, but because it may encourage us to be more vigilant on our patterns of behavior. I can tell you without qualification that in terms of Buddhism, the appropriate response to the sufferings of others is compassion.

Finally, there is the seemingly widespread belief (or, more correctly, desire) that those who put us down or gloat over our misfortunes, or do things to us that hurt and are unjustified receive some form of karmic payback. I see the blasts here on 360 and it’s usually framed as “negative people” who we need to get rid of and who will suffer because of karma.

Frankly put, this is immaturity. To me this is a childish notion, grounded in negative feelings that do not come from other so-called “negative” people, but from our own hurt and insecurity. This has nothing to do with karma. Believe me, I understand that these painful experiences and that maybe you would feel justified knowing that they will suffer as a consequence. But isn’t this hypocritical at best? After all, which is worse: gloating over the misfortunes of others or enjoying the later humiliation of the one who gloats? Wishing suffering on others is not a virtue. Perhaps rather than thinking of what punishment those who harm us will receive, you could consider how unsatisfying their life must be for them to act in such a petty way. In terms of “punishment” for their conduct, well, at the very least, they would seem to have lost the benefit of your friendship.

Wishing or desiring suffering for others, even those who have harmed us, is bad karma.

Love,

Eddie

Feelings, pt. III

¡Hola! Everybody...

I would like to take a moment to recognize Jennifer’s (complicatedadventure) daughter Amber. Amber took on the establishment at her school and questioned the constitutionality of the school’s policy regarding movement during the pledge of allegiance. Last night, the school district realized the error of its ways and agreed to amend the wording to this policy. Now, whether you agree with Amber or not, I don’t give a shit. The important part is that she got involved and she made a difference. I’m really proud of Amber and Jennifer deserves major props too for encouraging this kind of spirit in her daughter. Go Grrrrrls! Stop by and recognize Amber and Jennifer for their independent thinking (click here)

Today’s blog photo is from The Great Cosmic Happy-Ass Card Company. I love their shit! Check them out (click here)

I promise! After today no more about feelings! LOL!

* * *

-=[ Feelings, pt. III: Feelings as Children ]=-

“It’s scary as hell to make our self be known, the parts that are unlovable, the parts we don’t love, that no one else will love, that are just too messy, that are unworthy. Yet we’re dying inside to be completely loved and received and forgiven.”
-- Jennifer Garcia

Recap time, girls and boys! First, I tried to explain how feelings are different from emotions (click here). Feelings are rooted in the body, waves of energy that we actually experience. Emotions are the stories we attach to these waves: “I am angry,” “She makes me sad,” etc. So, there was this discussion around feelings and emotions and what happens if we practice experiencing the waves as they are, rather than attaching the stories (what I called our personal novelas – soap operas). Finally I discussed what that does to feelings – how being fully present with the feelings acts as a liberating force from the drama of our lives. I consider this something of a miracle, an awakening (click here).

There is another awakening, or miracle: the realization that our feelings are our children. Like real children, some are well behaved: clean, polite, and socially acceptable. Others are little monsters – little diablitos! What happens is we tend to nurture the children we like, give them food, dress them really nice, and pose them so that our neighbors could see them.

The ones we don’t like, we push out into the yard, into the doghouse, with no nourishment and barely dressed to protect against the elements – in the cold. Every once in a while, we might see them, their dirty and hungry faces pressed against the windows, the beginnings of malicious intent in their haunted eyes. Sometimes there is a mutiny and a few of them break in through the windows. Or, we might let a pleasant feeling out to play and a few of the juvenile delinquent feelings rush in uninvited. Our abandoned feelings haunt our dreams and sometimes make horrible noises in the night. One thing is for sure: they will completely sabotage our every attempt to look good to the neighbors.

This is true no matter how hard you fight: the more fences and barbed wire you erect, the more they will plan schemes to disrupt your cozy little life.

Once we begin to settle into who we really are (awakening to our true selves), into our natural state, we are no longer threatened by our feelings and we slowly begin to invite our abandoned children back inside. This is a slow, gradual process, as you open the door of your heart to your exiled children, one by one.

Invite Grief inside and eventually, you are sitting down to dinner with Anger. Having a “Blockbuster Night,” enjoying yourselves. “I’m sorry,” you say. “This was a misunderstanding. I realize now you are my child. I gave birth to you. Come inside, sit by the fire, and have something to eat, mijito. Look! Your bed is right over there and you can stay here.” Initially, your abandoned, bleary-eyed children will not believe what’s going on. Hey! They might even be a little bit teed off, burning holes in the couch and insulting people on the phone.

They will need reassurance: you tell them that they can stay forever, as long as they want. We might say to our anger, “I’m sorry I pushed you away, and I’m really sorry that my father did before me, and my grandfather before that. I’m sorry my entire culture has made you feel that you don’t belong. But now, you are welcome, come on in.”

As soon as you welcome the banished, they are transformed. This is a lesson almost any parent learns. I learned it with my own son. It seemed that whenever I was busy with work, or on the phone, as a young boy my son would suddenly decide he wanted me to get him something or to play with him. If I pushed him away, he would become more demanding. But then I learned that if brought him close to me, his seemingly all-consuming need would quickly disappear. His real longing was for attention, and once that need was fulfilled, all else receded to the background.

And so it is with feelings: when we are fully present with them as they arise, and draw them close to us when they seek our attention, their agenda is upset, and the cycle of drama is upended. Here’s an even better recap on this series on feelings:

Feelings arise

They are embraced

They pass again…

… and we are free o be spacious and empty, and to be available to life and connected to the world.

Evolving people embrace this process over and over again. It is an awakening and it is our birthright as human beings. The miracle is this: by welcoming feelings, we can transform them. For example, Anger, when welcomed home, embraced, given a good meal, and clean clothes, becomes authority and power. Sexual desire, when all moral charges are dropped and the fingers of accusation have stopped wagging, becomes our basic life energy, our chi. Having a friendly relationship with grief lets us uncover our depth, the depths of our true selves. Fear reveals excitement and energy, boredom uncovers our desire for meaning. By consciously dropping the “personal novela” -- dropping the drama and returning to pure feeling -- we begin to discover a great truth: there is no such thing as negative energy. Even the most unwelcome emotional tsunamis, that have been incarcerated and abandoned for lifetimes, which seem capable of destroying us and other people, are transformed into something divine that are accepted and given as gifts.

Let me use anger as an example. At first, I was a little hesitant to let anger out of its cage. I was afraid of what might happen. But this was when I was confusing feeling with reactivity. Anger thrown onto another person without first being deeply felt (embraced) can have disastrous consequences. I learned, with practice, to breathe deeply into the belly and allow it to be just as it is, trusting the knowledge that I can experiment with my Anger, a little bit at a time. Once I felt the raw, savage beauty of anger, I felt a deeper connection to the earth; my body opened and came to life. I learned and experienced that I could feel my anger again and again, each time more deeply. The more I allowed it the deeper the anger took me into myself. Now it can be given as a gift to others and myself. The gift of authority, of waking up, of integrity, speaking truth to power in the face of social injustice.

When Anger is felt and given, free of resistance, it can be received by others as a gift – a blessing.

When I can experience Anger in this way, I am truly conscious when I am teed off. There’s no “personal novela.” It happens BAM!, and then it’s finished, and then I’m back. I give myself permission to get pissed, I ride that wave of anger and then it becomes a gift for whomever I’m pissed with. Once we become willing to disengage the feeling from the drama, there is an immediate liberation. Without a story, whether that story be of victimhood or a wound, there is nothing left to defend, nothing to resist, and we are liberated from the addictive bitterness or niceness as a cure to all that we have repressed.

Genuine love can be ferocious, it can be deeply honest, and it can be a gift in a million different flavors.

When we feel fully, and free ourselves from the shadows of our past, every feeling fully felt, without resistance and freely given, then we express true love. Anything else is just so much cotton candy – sugared air, insubstantial.

I hope you have found something useful in these three different posts on feelings. My hope is that it may have somehow touched something within, motivating you to question the everyday, unthinking, manner we are conditioned to respond to feelings. If we become like an ocean, then a tsunami is merely a ripple on the surface of things. If we stubbornly choose to remain stuck to a narrowly defined sense of ourselves (the ego-driven mini me), then our emotional lives will be forever doomed to resemble natural catastrophes.

Love,

Eddie

Feelings, pt. II

¡Hola! Everybody...
I’m not well, I feel drained, and I think my job is making me sick. I don't think I will last the year at this current job. I'm sending my resume out… took the day off

I wrote the following as part of a series on feelings three years ago…

(initially, I titled this part I, but it isn't. It's the second of three posts I did on feelings -- I think. LOL Those interested in reading the series should begin with Feelings 101, then read this one, and then read part III, )

* * *

-=[ Feelings, pt. II ]=-

Feelings aren’t facts, but it’s a fact that you feel.
-- Popular 12-step fellowship saying

Everything is always washing into my heart. And I have the choice in any moment to open to it or to close to it, to resist or allow it to protect myself from it or to open to it and let whatever response comes just be.

-- Amy McCarrel

Awakening, another word for being present, is an option for anyone at any time. My own experience tells me that everything necessary for our fulfillment – our happiness -- exists right here, right now, this very moment. All we have to do is awake to that potential and actually experience it, rather than to continue to conceptualize it.

I make a distinction between feelings and emotions. Feelings are the physical manifestations of our responses to life, while emotions are the stories we attach to these responses (for those interested, I go into further detail click here).

There are two knee-jerk (conditioned) responses to feelings, and they both have their price: to run from them, or indulge them. In addition, we attach “stories” to our feelings, creating our own personal novelas (novelas are Spanish-language soap operas: Amor Salvaje!, or, Deseo Bestial! LOL!). In the process however, this does not mean that feelings are not real. Moreover, I do not mean to imply that the awakening process results in a super calm person floating around offering benedictions to everybody.

Let me state two myths about awakening:

Myth #1 Awakening to our original self means not having feelings, especially “negative” ones like anger, fear, jealousy, or greed. Instead, the process leads to an unchanging, always calm, state.

Myth #2 You have to choose between feelings and presence. When you have feelings, you have lost who you are.

These two myths are stereotypes and quite laughable, if you ask me. Being awake is to feel completely, love passionately, to become transparent.

Two reactions to feelings and a heavy price to pay for both: running (aversion) and clinging (desire). Two sides of the same emotional coin. We live in a male-dominated society in which feelings are dismissed as inferior to reason. If you doubt me, then just take a look at all the reactions to T.O.’s recent cyring jag, or Hilary Clinton’s supposed tears. To be “emotional” is considered unprofessional and we spend much time and money constantly “processing” our feelings away. I think in this sense, women, or rather, our feminine aspects, offer a much in teaching us to be present with our feelings.

I have a simple technique when I am working with overly analytical people (most of whom are women!). Ask anyone what they are feeling and they usually will proceed to describe to you what they are thinking. Therefore, what I do is to ask them to tell me where they feeling it in their bodies. This usually works to center someone in the moment, rather than spending time chasing his or her emotional novelas.

This is where the feminine principle can help us: that wonderful capacity to experience our reality in the body can become repressed when our little “mini me” starts whispering.

But I digress...

We pay a high price when we avoid our feelings as they arise. They then become sticky and gooey and don‘t pass through us as cleanly. A lot like being emotionally constipated. What happens with avoidance as a coping strategy is that we first create a tension in the body and literally cut off the free flow of sensation. Parts of our bodies become numb. Many women, for example, carry a lot of numbness in their genital areas as a result of sexual betrayal/ trauma. In order not to feel anger in the belly, we clench the solar plexus and block feeling, blood flow, and energy. The blockage remains and even becomes more entrenched.

To use another example, in order to avoid feeling fear we contract the pectoral muscles and collapse the chest. The consequence is that, over time these attempts to stop feeling leads to imbalances and stress-related illnesses. We literally create body armor to protect ourselves from feelings.

Another consequence of avoiding feelings, especially the ones we view as negative or threatening, is to become “rational.” We develop strategies (rationalizing, intellectualizing) in order to control or stop feelings. As an answer to the question, “Why am I feeling this?” we quickly say something beginning with “Because”: I am angry because you… or they made me feel sad because they… And in that way, we get caught in the endless rollercoaster of cause and effect.

The other trap is indulging (venting) our feelings. Sometimes this happens right away (I was notorious for this! LOL!) and sometimes it simmers for a while before boiling over—maybe after a few hours, days, or even years. The point is that once the floodgates open, there is hell to pay and a big mess to clean afterwards. You can even cause permanent damage. Indulging (or venting) is just another way of rebelling against the tension created between the feeling and its repression. We have to compensate for our initial response with an explosive mixture of emotion and willfulness:

Angry?!?! You’re damned right I’m angry, and you’re going to sit right there and listen to why!”

Exploding is just another way of attempting to have control (not experience) our feelings and avoid feeling overwhelmed. You think you are managing the feeling, but in fact, you are not feeling, but rather you are doing emotion. We create drama. Rather than experiencing feeling as a wave, we constrict our sense of self and become the wave itself. Instead of feeling anger or sadness, we become it. Listen to the language we use to describe these states: we say, “I am angry,” “I am sad.” This expression of what we are feeling has temporarily taken over our identity.

Once in the possession of our small, fearful selves, the “mini me,” the only choice we think we have is either to repress our feelings or to be taken over them and become reactive. Either way, we are still stuck on stupid. We are still controlled by our personal emotional novelas disconnected from the reality of the world around and in us, and we are still unable to give ourselves and others our deepest gifts.

Love,

Eddie

Feelings 101

Hola Everybody,
I’m not well, I feel drained, and I think my job is making me sick. I believe I won’t be here much longer… took the day off.

I wrote the following as part of a series on feelings (for part II: click here/ part III: click here) three years ago…

* * *

Feelings, pt. I (Personal Novelas)

“Feelings aren’t facts, but it’s a fact that you feel.”
-- Popular 12-step fellowship saying

“Everything is always washing into my heart. And I have the choice in any moment to open to it or to close to it, to resist or allow it to protect myself from it or to open to it and let whatever response comes just be.”
-- Amy McCarrel

Awakening, another word for being present, is an option for anyone at any time. My own experience tells me that everything necessary for our fulfillment – our happiness -- exists right here, right now, this very moment. All we have to do is awake to that potential and actually experience it, rather than to continue to conceptualize it.

My work brings me into contact with literally hundreds of people every year. And I am totally amazed by the number of people who have chosen to take responsibility for their own awakening outside the context of organized religions. There is a wave, a movement, of people seeking to find their own answers and that is one of the most remarkable things about the time we are living in.

There are two knee-jerk (conditioned) responses to feelings, and they both have their price: to run from them, or indulge them. In addition, we attach “stories” to our feelings, creating our own personal novelas (novelas are Spanish-language soap operas: Amor Salvaje!, or, Deseo Bestial! LOL!). In the process however, this does not mean that feelings are not real. Moreover, I do not mean to imply that the awakening process results in a super calm person floating around offering benedictions to everybody.

Let me state two myths about awakening:

Myth #1 Awakening to our original self means not having feelings, especially “negative” ones like anger, fear, jealousy, or greed. Instead, the process leads to an unchanging, always calm, state.

Myth #2 You have to choose between feelings and presence. When you have feelings, you have lost who you are.

These two myths are stereotypes and quite laughable, if you ask me. Being awake is to feel completely, love passionately, to become transparent.

Two reactions to feelings and a heavy price to pay for both: running (aversion) and clinging (desire). Two sides of the same emotional coin. We live in a male-dominated society in which feelings are dismissed as inferior to reason. If you doubt me, then just take a look at all the reactions to T.O.’s recent cyring jag, or Hilary Clinton’s supposed tears. To be “emotional” is considered unprofessional and we spend much time and money constantly “processing” our feelings away. I think in this sense, women, or rather, our feminine aspects, offer a much in teaching us to be present with our feelings.

I have a simple technique when I am working with overly analytical people (most of whom are women!). Ask anyone what they are feeling and they usually will proceed to describe to you what they are thinking. Therefore, what I do is to ask them to tell me where they feeling it in their bodies. This usually works to center someone in the moment, rather than spending time chasing his or her emotional novelas.

This is where the feminine principle can help us: that wonderful capacity to experience our reality in the body can become repressed when our little Mini me starts whispering.

But I digress...

We pay a high price when we avoid our feelings as they arise. They then become sticky and gooey and don‘t pass through us as cleanly. A lot like being emotionally constipated. What happens with avoidance as a coping strategy is that we first create a tension in the body and literally cut off the free flow of sensation. Parts of our bodies become numb. Many women, for example, carry a lot of numbness in their genital areas as a result of sexual betrayal/ trauma. In order not to feel anger in the belly, we clench the solar plexus and block feeling, blood flow, and energy. The blockage remains and even becomes more entrenched.

To use another example, in order to avoid feeling fear we contract the pectoral muscles and collapse the chest. The consequence is that, over time these attempts to stop feeling leads to imbalances and stress-related illnesses. We literally create body armor to protect ourselves from feelings.

Another consequence of avoiding feelings, especially the ones we view as negative or threatening, is to become “rational.” We develop strategies (rationalizing, intellectualizing) in order to control or stop feelings. As an answer to the question, “Why am I feeling this?” we quickly say something beginning with “Because”: I am angry because you… or they made me feel sad because they… And in that way, we get caught in the endless rollercoaster of cause and effect.

The other trap is indulging (venting) our feelings. Sometimes this happens right away (I was notorious for this! LOL!) and sometimes it simmers for a while before boiling over—maybe after a few hours, days, or even years. The point is that once the floodgates open, there is hell to pay and a big mess to clean afterwards. You can even cause permanent damage. Indulging (or venting) is just another way of rebelling against the tension created between the feeling and its repression. We have to compensate for our initial response with an explosive mixture of emotion and willfulness:

Angry?!?! You’re damned right I’m angry, and you’re going to sit right there and listen to why!”

Exploding is just another way of attempting to have control (not experience) our feelings and avoid feeling overwhelmed. You think you are managing the feeling, but in fact, you are not feeling, but rather you are doing emotion. We create drama. Rather than experiencing feeling as a wave, we constrict our sense of self and become the wave itself. Instead of feeling anger or sadness, we become it. Listen to the language we use to describe these states: we say, “I am angry,” “I am sad.” This expression of what we are feeling has temporarily taken over our identity.

Once in the possession of our small, fearful selves, the Mini Me, the only choice we think we have is either to repress our feelings or to be taken over them and become reactive. Either way, we are still stuck on stupid. We are still controlled by our personal emotional novelas disconnected from the reality of the world around and in us, and we are still unable to give ourselves and others our deepest gifts.

Love,

Eddie