Three ReasonsTo Return From The Blog Graveyard

Class: After many pleading emails from you, I've decided to make a brief appearance and give you one hot blog tip. Yes, I'm posting again, but with much sadness!

Ya see, many of my favorite blogs have disappeared off the map! Like your blondalicious teacher (who nearly vanished herself!), many of my favorite blogs have returned to the great Blog Graveyard in cyberspace.

When I was updating my funny blogs Squidoo lens recently, I was shocked and dismayed to discover many missing blogs. Melancholia swept over me. Where did the bloggers go who used to make me laugh or sneer or cringe or....?

Some of these bloggers may now be flipping burgers...or even worse, they may be writing screenplays in Hollywood. Putain! (I feel safe using this last expletive since most of you don't read French and most people don't read my blog anymore either!)

Then I remembered I hadn't updated Blog-Blond since August, and I was one of the M.I.A.! Where had the time gone??? I haven't been flipping or slaving for the man. What was my alibi? Gasp! I too was in the Blog Graveyard!

And did I desire to return From The Blog Graveyard????? Did I have anything more to teach you--my deliciously naughty students?

It was this last question which brings me to post here today. I can't fit everything into my *much different* Twitter, Facebook, Plurk and Squidoo pages. This is why blogs are still valuable: I can ramble on for as long as I wish and BE the blondalicious Blog-Blond!

If I wish to rant, teach, seduce, beguile, or tease you, I need a blog! This is my reason NUMERO UNO to return and post.

My Reason Number Two: I've many slavish fans who depend upon my preposterous, retarded humor to make them laugh. No other blond will do OR so they say. (A Tiger story if there ever was one!) In these harsh times, any laugh is worth it's weight in gold.

My Reason Number Three is to instruct you. I've learned a thing or two in the years I've been online, and why not share my knowledge?

With Number Three in mind, here's my Hot Blog Tip of the Year: sign up for Nutshell Mail if you're on Twitter, Facebook, or MySpace.

Nutshell Mail will save you loads of time dealing with some of the nut cases you'll meet, especially the ones who follow you with the intention of dumping/unfollowing you to build up their numbers.

Nutshell Mail gives you the lowdown several times a day direct to your email about who your new followers and unfollowers are. It gives me great satisfaction to return the favor asap to the unfollowers. Here's what N.M. says about the 'WHY' on their homepage: "The busy social networker who doesn't have time to hang out online all day."

Does that sound like you? The busy social networker? Yep, thought so! Me too! That's why N.M. has been such a Goddess-Send!

To summarize: you'll see me again....read my posts again...not to worry. I love sharing hot blog tips! I love Retro! I love you!

Ciao!

Three ReasonsTo Return From The Blog Graveyard

Class: After many pleading emails from you, I've decided to make a brief appearance and give you one hot blog tip. Yes, I'm posting again, but with much sadness!

Ya see, many of my favorite blogs have disappeared off the map! Like your blondalicious teacher (who nearly vanished herself!), many of my favorite blogs have returned to the great Blog Graveyard in cyberspace.

When I was updating my funny blogs Squidoo lens recently, I was shocked and dismayed to discover many missing blogs. Melancholia swept over me. Where did the bloggers go who used to make me laugh or sneer or cringe or....?

Some of these bloggers may now be flipping burgers...or even worse, they may be writing screenplays in Hollywood. Putain! (I feel safe using this last expletive since most of you don't read French and most people don't read my blog anymore either!)

Then I remembered I hadn't updated Blog-Blond since August, and I was one of the M.I.A.! Where had the time gone??? I haven't been flipping or slaving for the man. What was my alibi? Gasp! I too was in the Blog Graveyard!

And did I desire to return From The Blog Graveyard????? Did I have anything more to teach you--my deliciously naughty students?

It was this last question which brings me to post here today. I can't fit everything into my *much different* Twitter, Facebook, Plurk and Squidoo pages. This is why blogs are still valuable: I can ramble on for as long as I wish and BE the blondalicious Blog-Blond!

If I wish to rant, teach, seduce, beguile, or tease you, I need a blog! This is my reason NUMERO UNO to return and post.

My Reason Number Two: I've many slavish fans who depend upon my preposterous, retarded humor to make them laugh. No other blond will do OR so they say. (A Tiger story if there ever was one!) In these harsh times, any laugh is worth it's weight in gold.

My Reason Number Three is to instruct you. I've learned a thing or two in the years I've been online, and why not share my knowledge?

With Number Three in mind, here's my Hot Blog Tip of the Year: sign up for Nutshell Mail if you're on Twitter, Facebook, or MySpace.

Nutshell Mail will save you loads of time dealing with some of the nut cases you'll meet, especially the ones who follow you with the intention of dumping/unfollowing you to build up their numbers.

Nutshell Mail gives you the lowdown several times a day direct to your email about who your new followers and unfollowers are. It gives me great satisfaction to return the favor asap to the unfollowers. Here's what N.M. says about the 'WHY' on their homepage: "The busy social networker who doesn't have time to hang out online all day."

Does that sound like you? The busy social networker? Yep, thought so! Me too! That's why N.M. has been such a Goddess-Send!

To summarize: you'll see me again....read my posts again...not to worry. I love sharing hot blog tips! I love Retro! I love you!

Ciao!

Five Things You SHOULD Know

Class, there are *things* you SHOULD know about the online world. Since some of my naughty students are suckered by tricks, cons and scams, I felt it prudent to remind you:

1. If something is too good to be true, then it generally IS! Trust this rule. For example, if someone tries to convince you that you'll make a pile of monies from blogging, don't buy it. This is one of the biggest come-on's newbies fall for. Maybe if you live til your 100's and work your a** off, you might make some chump change.

2. If someone sends you a link, consider the source. Do you know the blogger or person sending you the link, and are they computer savvy? Are they passing something on to you which you'd rather not have? I make it a practice to open very few forwards or links.

4. There's no such thing as a free lunch. If you're aiming for online success, there are two choices of words: Work! OR Delegate. I prefer to delegate. Study the work of Timothy Ferris and read his book "The 4-Hour Workweek". Semi-retire. Life is short. Simplify.

5. And last but not least, don't put all your eggs in one basket! This cliche is apt in regards to your online presence. Spread out. Use the same avatar. Brand yourself. Don't make enemies because the online global community is much smaller than you can even imagine and growing smaller all the time. Think 'three degrees' of separation!

This is going up on "Humor-blogs.com" even though it's not funny. This post was too much work to be funny.

Five Things You SHOULD Know

Class, there are *things* you SHOULD know about the online world. Since some of my naughty students are suckered by tricks, cons and scams, I felt it prudent to remind you:

1. If something is too good to be true, then it generally IS! Trust this rule. For example, if someone tries to convince you that you'll make a pile of monies from blogging, don't buy it. This is one of the biggest come-on's newbies fall for. Maybe if you live til your 100's and work your a** off, you might make some chump change.

2. If someone sends you a link, consider the source. Do you know the blogger or person sending you the link, and are they computer savvy? Are they passing something on to you which you'd rather not have? I make it a practice to open very few forwards or links.

4. There's no such thing as a free lunch. If you're aiming for online success, there are two choices of words: Work! OR Delegate. I prefer to delegate. Study the work of Timothy Ferris and read his book "The 4-Hour Workweek". Semi-retire. Life is short. Simplify.

5. And last but not least, don't put all your eggs in one basket! This cliche is apt in regards to your online presence. Spread out. Use the same avatar. Brand yourself. Don't make enemies because the online global community is much smaller than you can even imagine and growing smaller all the time. Think 'three degrees' of separation!

This is going up on "Humor-blogs.com" even though it's not funny. This post was too much work to be funny.

Blondie Bails On Blogging

Class, I'm flabbergasted. It seems my substitute teacher Blondie has become a SUPERSTAR, and when I left a message on her answering machine inquiring why she had neglected last week's post, she texted me she was 2 bzy.

BUT she promised me she would return next week to give ya some hot blog tips. I know she's good for it because I have 'something' on her which I might possibly leak to Buzzfeed.

In the meantime, someone sent me a photo of Blondie on a t-shirt. Apparently Blondie is HOT HOT HOT , and all the Hollywood babes are wearing her likeness on a t-shirt!So once again, your blondalicious teacher has to step up to the plate and deliver the goods when she'd rather be lazing around. I have ONLY one blog tip this week, so Listen Up!

Line up more than ONE substitute blogger to post for you. Have a couple of back-ups because once a blogger becomes famous, they'd rather twitter or plurk or text or hawk t-shirts to the rich and famous or show up at clubs or host Extra.

Maybe this Blog-Blond blog is a fast-track to superstardom? And so I'm putting it out to those who would like to guest-post, email me.

Who knows--maybe your mug will be the next hot one?!

This is going up on "Humor-Blogs.com".

Blondie Bails On Blogging

Class, I'm flabbergasted. It seems my substitute teacher Blondie has become a SUPERSTAR, and when I left a message on her answering machine inquiring why she had neglected last week's post, she texted me she was 2 bzy.

BUT she promised me she would return next week to give ya some hot blog tips. I know she's good for it because I have 'something' on her which I might possibly leak to Buzzfeed.

In the meantime, someone sent me a photo of Blondie on a t-shirt. Apparently Blondie is HOT HOT HOT , and all the Hollywood babes are wearing her likeness on a t-shirt!So once again, your blondalicious teacher has to step up to the plate and deliver the goods when she'd rather be lazing around. I have ONLY one blog tip this week, so Listen Up!

Line up more than ONE substitute blogger to post for you. Have a couple of back-ups because once a blogger becomes famous, they'd rather twitter or plurk or text or hawk t-shirts to the rich and famous or show up at clubs or host Extra.

Maybe this Blog-Blond blog is a fast-track to superstardom? And so I'm putting it out to those who would like to guest-post, email me.

Who knows--maybe your mug will be the next hot one?!

This is going up on "Humor-Blogs.com".