Silicone Bitch: From the Blogger's Workshop

News and notes about the South Florida social media and blogging scene, with a little tech thrown in for good measure. And maybe some other random events, too.

Oh dear! My most important blogging tip? Keep good posture and support your lower back with a pillow! Photo via kchichster's flickr.

Yesterday, I led a workshop and brainstorming session for some wonderful people who are either already blogging or are interested in blogging. We had quite a creative South Florida group: an artist, a PR professional, a neuroscientist and yoga teacher, a financial trader and social media pro, and finally, a professional horse groomer.

My friend Ivan Mladenovic, owner of Preemo -- computer repairs and website development company -- generously hosted the space. Whereas I tend to focus on editorial, Ivan balanced the conversation out by chiming in with some very intelligent points about Wordpress and the more technical aspects of blogging.

Here are just a few things we shared in the jam-packed 2-hour session:

What is a successful blog?
That depends on your definition of "success." If making money is part of that, then yes, a monetized blog that actually makes money would be considered successful. However, blogging can open many doors and help you create community to connect with others. It can enrich your life when you use the blog as a means to an end, to self-publish and explore a topic you're passionate about.

How often should I blog?
This depends on the type of blog. If you are a magazine type blog with a huge readership, you're probably looking at least 3 posts a day minimum because you have a business engine obligated to push advertising. For the average blogger, this is not the case. You can also determine your pace and shape the expectations of your readership. One really good post once a week is better than several crappy, less crafted write-ups put out with more frequency. Quality and quantity need to remain in balance.

What are local Florida resources?
Try WordCamp, Wordpress meetups, WP Beginner and check out Refresh South Florida for Wordpress workshops and other geeky goodness.

Although I was the teacher in this scenario, in reality we were all teaching each other and as usual, I left the session incredibly grateful for the insight my "students" provided.

A "blog" is just an empty vessel, as I always say -- and it's a technical thing anyone can master. What you put in it is the key. Great and regular content is king here. You have to start thinking like a journalist, an editor and a publisher. It's a thing of beauty you can create, so long as you are persistent, consistent and authentic in your endeavor.

I plan on doing more of these workshops in the future. They are by donation and a great time to meet like-minded people who are interested in self-publishing.

Silicone Bitch: Teacher Versus Shill

News and notes about the South Florida social media and blogging scene, with a little tech thrown in for good measure. And maybe some other random events, too.









I was on the phone yesterday catching up with my dear friend Stephanie Quilao, the amazing health lifestyle blogger best known for Back in Skinny Jeans. One of the things that came up in conversation was how some very high-profile social media people can be total fakes, professing the art but not practicing what they preach.



Our talk begged the question: what's the difference between being a true teacher and a showman?



The core of this question had to do with yoga teachers who get breast implants and others who seem to say one thing yet practice another. Ditto with social media personalities who are all "out there" but can't fit the bill when it comes to their personal success at relationships of all kinds, be they personal or business.



I'm not going to name names, but I have seen some pretty absurd behavior in my career involving social media. Heck, I've made mistakes too.



In my mind, it boils down to this. You can't be a true social media personality if ...



... You don't practice what you preach. If you say wear pink, you better be wearing pink yourself. And it's cool if you decide to stop wearing pink one day. Just make sure you tell your audience why.



... You aren't compassionate. Social media is just a digital expression of what the yogis have been saying for years. (I wrote about it in this post on yoga and social media.) Hey, we all have to make a living and we all have an ego, but using social media for self-aggrandizing is only the start. Once you get there, what are you doing to make this world a better place?



... You aren't brutally honest about all your misgivings. Cult of personality is not about perfection. It's about owning your imperfections and knowing which boundaries you are willing to break in order to share. You don't have to share everything, however. You aren't a reality show star, for pete's sake. Stay classy and keep some of your dirty laundry private, but let the world know that "rock star" is their attribution, not yours.



... You don't take time "off" from that persona you've created and you don't know the difference between the two. If you're always "on" how do you know who you really are? I tweet like a crazy idiot but there are stretches of time during which I am very quiet. Why? Because I'm taking time to be "me." I don't have an agenda to push anything 24/7. But when I do tweet or blog, you know damn well it's pretty authentic. That's how it should be.



... You sell snake oil and pretend like that's ok. Selling snake oil just doesn't cut it anymore. And if you must sell snake oil, at least be more of yourself in the process.



... You aren't a student. A true teacher is always a student. What's the zen saying? In the mind of the beginner there are many possibilities, but the "expert" is full of shit -- no room for expansion.



... You aren't humble. Being humble is key. Learning from your students is imperative. All a true teacher can do is share best practices and discuss skill sets -- what the student does is entirely up to his or her innovative, not just imitative, application. I don't give you the fish -- I teach you how to fish, but it's up to you to do the fishing etc;



... You don't know when to call it quits. Knowing when and how to end is a major plus. Beginnings are wonderful but endings should be just as special. When has an idea run dry? OK, good. It's time to move on with something else. Own that and don't fake your way through it with false, sugar-coated enthusiasm.



... You suggest short-term, turn-key, solutions for life-long issues that you know are never really going to go away. Nobody becomes an expert over night. A true teacher focuses on the present, to be sure, but doesn't run away from the bigger picture. Problems will always be there, but the key is sharing best practices.



... You believe exclusively in numbers. There are no reasons ever to try to get thousands of followers just "because." Popularity is a fake dream and the true star is the one who doesn't give a shit. (Yes, heaps of irony there, but that's zen for you.) Following is something that should be earned the hard way in an organic, evolving process. Don't sell a dream. Sell a really usable, practical reality.

Silicone Bitch: Big Media Companies Shouldn't Do Blogging Contests

I almost didn't want to waste my time writing about this, but I write about social media and blogging, and because I'm passionate about South Florida's social media and blogging community, I kinda gotta do it.



CBS Miami wants you to vote for Miami's most valuable blogger and that's all fine and well, but you have to wonder about the method behind the madness. It's like me putting a contest together for Miami's best brain surgeon. If pushed to do that -- because I'd refuse at first, not being an expert in the field -- I would consult with ... guess what? Brain surgeons and other medical professionals!



I just spent some time looking at the blogs that were nominated for voting -- a rather sanitized selection, by the way, with blogs that are "inappropriate for the community" kicked out of the PG party. Obviously that's the CBS community, not the community-at-large.



Some of the blogs are top-notch and listed on the South Florida Daily Blog blog roll, not surprisingly. Find them here.



Others are rather amateur by comparison.



Don't get me wrong and don't give my shit for saying that. I'm not trying to sound like a snob. I am a champion of encouraging anyone to blog about anything, whether they are professional writers or people who just like to post pictures of kittens. I practice what I preach and teach blogging workshops for newbies, for pete's sake.



But at the end of the day, it's another non-curated popularity contest with no regard for quality. It's a social media whoring platform.



And more importantly, it's a big media company portraying the blogosphere to its non-blogging audience in a short-sighted way.



You want to really highlight the local blogging community to your audience in a fair, well-researched way? Here are some tips:

• Why not interview them once a month in a regular column, for example?
• Or have one of your staff do a link roundup every week of relevant posts from local blogs? (I don't mean republish their content so you can make money off of it. I mean just link to blog posts.)
• Why don't you do tweetups and engage the blogging community socially? (Sun Sentinel has a similar contest, but at least they throw a party. As far as I know, they are the only media company engaging bloggers socially. Miami Herald doesn't do blogger meetups anymore.)
• Why not let people submit their blogs for review, so you can highlight them in the future and create a list of active local blogs? (Oh wait, South Florida Daily Blog already does that.)

These contests make it look like you really don't take the blogging community seriously. You use contests like this to make the public think "oh look, we're cool, we care about bloggers."



It's just like when I receive a pitch from a PR person who says they've read my blog and are selling me on some mommy blogger bullshit. Clearly, they haven't done their homework.



But it's not all bad. This is a good start and you can do more. At least you're trying.



As far as I'm concerned, every single blog listed at South Florida Daily Blog should be in ANY competition involving local blogs. This is the best, curated source for quality, active blogs and represents a tremendously creative and diverse cross section of Miami. If you are a big local media company that wants to research blogs, you should make that your daily read.



As well, any big local media company that wants to do a blog contest should really consult bloggers when they are designing these contests. And I know a good group of editors who can help with that, by the way.



Big media companies, do your homework.

Silicone Bitch: Interview with Rohit Bhargava

News and notes about the South Florida social media and blogging scene, with a little tech thrown in for good measure. And maybe some other random events, too.

Rohit Bhargava with a great Gaping Void cartoon on display.

Rohit Bhargava, reknown author on the subject of social media marketing, gave a great presentation at this month's Social Media Club South Florida meetup this Tuesday. Bhargava is the author of the Influential Marketing Blog and the book Personality Not Included. His new book, Likeanomics, is scheduled for launch in early 2012.



The room at Nova Southeastern University was packed with social marketing pros and people just wanting to learn (Social Media Club events are always free and open to everyone). Bhargava touched upon some of the basic ideas behind "likeanomics," which begs the question: "how can brands survive believability in an age of constant manipulation?"



"Trust is deteriorating," Bhargava said. "It's harder to convince people to believe in things these days."



"Social media isn't enough," he continued. "Often it is a distraction."



I think I would agree that any good marketing strategy employs all the tools at its disposal. As well, Bhargava reminded us of what we already know, but may often take for granted: "storytelling is the most powerful form of communication."



In a funny slide, Bhargava stated that most people would rather work with a loveable fool than a competent jerk. Think about that every time you hit the Facebook "like" button. The presentation reminded me a lot of what Guy Kawasaki is also saying in his book Enchantment. It's important to be enchanting and likeable these days ... but, how to do it?



Bhargava gave a few examples. Oprah Winfrey was honest about her history with abuse. The Hans Brinker hotel in Amsterdam readily admits it's the worst hotel in the world. The Dyson guy is just so damn straightforward about vacuum cleaners.



One of the things that stood out in Bhargava's presentation was the idea of being "Authentically Unselfish." In the video below, I asked him about that and how bloggers can apply it to their own craft.









UPCOMING EVENTS AND RANDOM LINKS



Remember that whole Jimmy'z and Sugarcane cluster f*ck on Social Media Day? Co-founder of blogging resources site Gigcoin.com, Julia Diaz Asper, interviewed @nataschaos on successful social media strategies for small businesses in a post entitled How To Get Superfans, Not Just Likes.



The Startup Forum is putting together a Social Media for Startups program on August 16. Ten bucks gets you in for some great advice from Alex De Carvahlo at the MiamiShared co-working space.



There'll be a fun tweetup at one of my favorite South Florida restaurants, Timpano's, August 25 starting at 5:30. It's on a first-come, first-serve as far as the freebies go. I'll be there with Social Chats and South Florida Food and Wine. If you've not had their mussels and martinis, you don't know what you're missing.



Tedx Miami is doing it again on September 13 at the New World Symphony Campus. Trust me, it'll be the best $50 you'll ever spend in Miami. If last year's event was any indication, this year's will be just as intellectually intoxicating.



Go up to Palm Beach on September 17 and pedal your ass off for a kid with cancer at a cycling studio. If you do decide to do it, make sure you tweet with the hashtag #pedal4kidscancer.



The first ever "Sea Tweetup" is taking place in November and organized by a group of local cool folks -- Soul of Miami, Aubrey Swanson, Sebastian Rusk, Social Esquire and I Am Jeff Cohen -- as well as one of Sex and the Beach's favorite travel writers, Rich Tucker from Cruise Source. There's supposed to be eight hours total worth of complimentary wi-fi during different times of the voyage for your twittering pleasure and cabins start at just under $300. The Norwegian Cruise Line ship departs Port of Miami for the Bahamas on the 18th. Visit the Sea Tweetup Facebook page for more information.

Silicone Bitch: South Florida Social Media Day and the Bigger Picture

News and notes about the South Florida social media and blogging scene, with a little tech thrown in for good measure. And maybe some other random events, too.

Our neighbors in Key West also had a Social Media Day meetup and this photo was one of 10 chosen from around the world along with Miami's. Not bad for South Florida! Stacy Green, Director of Communications at Mashable, was present in the Monroe County gathering. More photos at Mashable.

Recent online discussion between Carlos Miller's post about Social Media Day at Miami Beach 411 and a lengthy comment thread at South Florida Daily Blog got me thinking about a few things that perhaps bear repeating in this column, so here we go.

If you're not familiar with the subject at hand, it boils down to this: Social Media Day is a worldwide meet-up day promoted by Mashable, a top source for news on social media and digital culture, "to celebrate the revolution of media becoming social." In Miami, Jimmy'z Wynwood Kitchen offered Social Media Day attendees freebies and discounts on food and drink while Sugarcane Raw Bar and Grill did not. Apparently, some people got pissed at the latter and Miller wrote about it, capturing some of the bitching on video.

SOCIAL MEDIA IS A BROAD NETWORK

What happened with Sugarcane barely reflects the overall social media community in South Florida and I hope that Miller's article doesn't sour people to what that community is really like. We are a group of professionals, largely from fields involving communications, who use social media in a variety of ways: for fun, career purposes, personal branding or all of the above. Some of us even get paid to help individuals or companies figure it all out.

Actually, just go to any Social Media Club South Florida meeting and you'll see more than communications specialists. You'll also see a cross section of people from various walks of life and different industries -- from doctors to lawyers and scientists to teachers, athletes and more -- all gathering to learn and share. These aren't purely social gatherings but mini-conferences during which a moderator and a carefully selected panel discuss their best practices and field questions from the audience.

We are not a bunch of whiny brats complaining about expensive drinks. We move and shake and make things happen in the community at a grassroots level. We are really good at networking. We build bridges between businesses and community. We espouse good causes and get people excited about good things that make South Florida a better place. It isn't just about the parties.

Let me also add web and soft tech groups that overlap with social media here. Refresh South Florida and New Tech Community, to name just two; we are all connected because the geeks make the tools we use for social media and the geeks "get it." Add to this SFIMA (South Florida Interactive Marketing Association) and The Startup Forum (an entrepreneurship forum focused on, but not limited to, the tech sector) and you see that the overlapping network is broad reaching. The social media community is way more than just a circle jerk of a few cronies. (Although there are circle jerks out there, believe me.)

WE DO NEED MORE SOCIAL MEDIA COVERAGE

One article about a meet-up barely scratches the surface on what is really going on. No one, to the best of my knowledge, is properly covering the social media and web tech scene both locally and nationally (national topics that would interest South Florida readers) on a consistent, exhaustive basis.

I did it for eight months at Miami New Times under Silicon Beach, posting three times a week. I resigned because I couldn't justify the amount of time it took to properly cover the beat at a meager level of compensation. (Nothing against Miami New Times, I loved working with my editor Duran and publisher Strouse, but I just couldn't afford it, and this, sadly, is true for many publications and writers out there.)

I started Silicone Bitch on this blog because I wanted to at least continue covering as much as I could without the pressure and time suck.

To thoroughly cover the scene, you need to make yourself available to attend many meetings, panels, conferences and of course social gatherings hosted by various groups. In recent years, the field has grown to the point where there is something going on almost every day. Factor in drive time in the tri-county area and you're looking at -- not kidding -- about twenty hours a week at least. Also, you need to connect with and interview many people deeply immersed in the industry on a national level, which means you are always "on" in your online and personal social networks.

And finally, you also need to remain as unbiased as humanly possible. This is one reason why I have never been a board member of Social Media Club even though I have been involved with it on some level since day one. It is important to be part of it while remaining somewhat detached. You shouldn't be too quick to judge, because you are dealing with many different layers of complexity in the social and business arena.

In my experience covering this scene, I have found it important not to burn any bridges because I am, ultimately, representing the community at large -- I'm supporting it because I appreciate what it's doing.

This doesn't mean I have to cover up a mess or paint a pretty picture. (This column isn't called Silicone Bitch just because it's a catchy title.) It simply means that I understand the intricate ties among the community, the insider stories, the rumors and what not, and that being a voice, I'm careful to not jump to any conclusions. I would encourage anyone else who is writing about social media in any community anywhere to really get their feet wet first.

This is one thing that was reiterated constantly at the recent National Association of Hispanic Journalists conference. In online media, it's important to be right, not first. It's important to build trust in your audience. (More on that in an upcoming post.)

IF YOU GET IT, SHARE IT

The original motto for Social Media Club, the mothership organization with members all over the world, is: "if you get it, share it." Most people in our social media community do get it and do share it. We're about bringing together and connecting, not creating division or antipathy.

I'm saying this because there are some naysayers out there who want to poo-poo on social media. That's ok. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. But social media is only doing what humans have done since time immemorial, it's just that now we harness the power of the internet to share and stay connected. (I philosophized about this extensively in my post about yoga and social media.)

Just because you don't use Twitter or Facebook or Foursquare doesn't mean you aren't using social media. Guess what? If you are reading this, you are already using social media. If you blog, you are part of the foundation for social media. And if you don't blog but read and comment on blogs, you're still riding the wave.

Trying to avoid social media if you're part of any digital communication space is like trying to outrun a tsunami. There are ways you can use it to enhance (but not takeover) your life. A lot of good has come from social media for individuals and businesses. Maybe a list of that warrants another post.

EVENT PLANNING 101

I have already discussed tweetups extensively elsewhere on Silicone Bitch and in my former column at Miami New Times, but to repeat here: not every tweetup is a social media gathering; sometimes "tweetups" are events put on by a company to attract customers. Calling something a tweetup when it's not is a big pet peeve of mine. I won't get into it here and yes, I sometimes find myself obligated to attend those corporate events, too.

But let's take a look at social media event planning for a moment. I'd like to encourage anyone who plans an event to assume that everyone reading the invitation is a moron with ADD. Assume the least common denominator here. Even people with razor-sharp focus are busy and frazzled. Your guests need all the information they can get in an easy, digestible format.

I have been to many social media events where the details were unclear or missing. The parking thing annoys me to no end. Do not assume that people are going to know where to park or how much parking is going to cost. Put everything in writing.

A case study ...

There was some talk about Sugarcane not living up to its drink specials on Foursquare Day back in April. Here's the event invite, which was copied and pasted to various websites and retweeted ad nauseum. I'm not sure who wrote this invitation, by the way.

"The Miami area Meet Up will start at 4:16 PM at Sugarcane Raw Bar & Grill. There will be a special $4.16 drink specials and a 4SQDAY certificate of official recognition from the city of Miami Beach. Stop by to celebrate before 8 PM for some one on one time with your foursquare friends."

Not only is the phrasing grammatically incorrect "a special $4.16 drink specials" but there is nothing to indicate what the specials are. As it turns out, $4.16 was only for specific drinks. What the invitation should have read is this:

"There will be $4.16 drink specials from [insert start end end time] on [drink names] for Foursquare Day."

Or, in the event that drink specials were TBA when the invitation went out: "Ask your bartender about particular drink specials."

This may sound like a really petty thing to focus on, but communication needs to be clear between the restaurant and the event organizer as well as the event organizer and guests. And guests, you too should not assume that the restaurant and the organizer have their shit together. As a rule, any time I go to any event, I always ask the server what the specials are anyway.

(My comments here aren't meant to criticize @alexdc and @sebrusk, who tried their best to put Social Media Day together at Sugarcane in a very short time. Not having drink specials really wasn't a big deal and nowhere on the invite did it say there would be drink specials, so there were no surprises.)

THE EXCEPTION, NOT THE NORM

While Sugarcane may have not been up to speed on drink specials this Social Media Day, it has been supportive of other gatherings in the past. And I want to add here that this particular event by no means overshadows the dozens upon dozens of restaurants and venues that have collaborated with social media, web tech and other related groups. Just look at the list of events that have taken place and you'll find everything from burger joints to five-star hotels in South Florida that have gotten involved sponsoring everything from food, drinks, staff, meeting space and more.

I'm not trying to single out Sugarcane as the one venue that doesn't care. What I am trying to say is that what happened on Social Media Day is not indicative of what happens at large.

APOLOGIA

Lastly, I want to apologize to Sugarcane for putting my face on Miller's video. When I walked into Jimmy'z, the chant was going on and I got sucked into it. I really thought it was a joke at first and I regretted it almost immediately. I didn't think Miller was really going to post it; he records a lot on his Flipcam but only a small percentage of it ends up online.

I also didn't think the article would be published on Miami Beach 411, a website that I've contributed to for about six years and which I believe does a great deal to build community in a constructive, diplomatic manner.

Miller had, I believe, a more appropriate outlet for a rant. Earlier this year, he created a funny, tongue-in-cheek website called Social Media Puto in which he writes in the third person with brazen sarcasm, making fun of everything that is laughable about social media.

For the record, Miller is a good friend of mine. Even though we disagree on some issues and our individual ways of handling them, we have shared many a beer and done some great projects together. He is entitled to his way of seeing the world and just because we may sometimes be polar opposites in our sensibilities doesn't mean I don't respect the great work he has done, especially in the photography and first amendment rights field.

But since I have been writing about the local social media scene for some time now, I felt it was necessary to widen public perception and offer the blogosphere a bigger picture.

And finally: I personally have worked with Sugarcane in the past and have no issues patronizing the restaurant in the future (try their chicken and waffles and beet mojitos and you'll see why). Yes, I did experience bad bartender service on Social Media Day but that won't keep me from patronizing the restaurant.

Silicone Bitch: Birth Mother Connects with Adopted Son on Facebook

News and notes about the South Florida social media and blogging scene, with a little tech thrown in for good measure. And maybe some other random events, too.

Photo via Caseywest on Flickr.

Today we depart from our usual South Florida focus for a true story about a birth mother, an adopted son and how Facebook facilitated their meeting. Without the social network, the process would have been held back by the very same protocol designed to protect adopted children. Names have been changed to protect identities.

MEET JANE

Jane was your typical teenager, a good student, full of hopes and dreams for the future. But her senior year would turn her life around with challenges most of us never think to face until adulthood.

She fell in love. She got pregnant. Her father had a heart attack. She became a caregiver.

At 18, the girl with hopes and dreams was a single mom high school dropout.

This was South Carolina, 1983. This was before shows like MTV’s 16 and Pregnant, before high schools started accommodating young mothers and their babies, before people spoke as openly as they do today about teenage sex and pregnancy.

Jane’s father eventually succumbed to a second heart attack and passed away. Her mother couldn’t really help and her baby’s father stepped out of the picture, marrying someone else soon after baby boy Shaun was born.

Struggling to stay afloat, unable to provide for her baby, she found herself with no other choice but to give up the child to adoption.

Jane’s ordeal turned out to be blessing for the adoptive parents; they had been trying to conceive for 13 years, so Shaun couldn’t have appeared at a better moment.

Little did they know they’d all be blessed again nearly three decades later.

THE YEARS APART

Jane would eventually move on with her life. She got her GED, graduated from the University of South Carolina and married a wonderful man who already had children.

The thought of Shaun was always in Jane’s heart though she knew little about him. “My child was an abstract thought to me,” Jane said during a phone interview. “I knew his adopted parents were great people, but that’s as close as I got.”

Jane always kept her records up to date with the adoption agency, just in case Shaun ever wanted to find her; however, there was nothing she could do to contact him. Adoption agencies enforce a strict protocol to protect children, even when they’re all grown up.

Reunions don’t always guarantee happy endings. Some adoptees have contacted their birth parents, only to be derided and ostracized in what could only be a painful emotional experience.

But even with the best of intentions, when the parent and child express a mutual desire to meet, it could still takes months, if not longer, to make that happen.

REUNITED ON FACEBOOK

Last year, Shaun turned 26 and experienced some chest pains, which prompted him to unseal his birth records and learn more about his blood family’s medical history.

He always knew he was an adopted child and his parents were very supportive. “I was very lucky. My parents told me: ‘whenever you want to meet your birth parents, we’re right behind you,’ ” Shaun explained over the phone.

Shaun contacted the adoption agency and soon thereafter exchanged some letters with Jane through proxy mailing addresses. The letters were censored; any information revealing potential contact data was blacked out, FBI style.

When it was becoming clear that they were getting along via correspondence and that were was nothing but love and support for Shaun in his desire to get to know his birth mother, Jane made a bold move: she friend requested him on Facebook, bypassing the adoption agency restrictions.

Shaun had mentioned his martial arts instructor in one of his letters. The former had three friends on Facebook with the same name as Shaun’s. Even though Jane had never laid eyes on Shaun, she instantly recognized his Facebook profile photo. He looked a lot like her, but was truly the spitting image of his birth father.

Shaun didn’t hesitate to friend her back.

Within two weeks, they met in person.

“It was very shocking,” Shaun explained, “But at the same time, I also had people who would help me get through it. Jane and I clicked from day one and we instantly jumped into a relationship. We ‘get’ each other.”

Jane’s life changed as well. The mother and son, who live only six hours apart between South Carolina and Virginia, meet regularly.

Jane did get a verbal scolding from the adoption agency, but had she stuck by the rules, their initial face-to-face contact may have dragged out far longer than they were willing to wait.

Jane and Shaun remain active on Facebook, posting on each other’s walls and sharing photos. Facebook keeps them connected socially.

HAPPY ENDING

This story doesn’t just end happily for the reunited mother and son. Even though Jane’s husband lost his own son in 2006, the connection is a blessing. “Shaun’s presence has helped heal his heart,” Jane said. “My husband loves Shaun.”

“I never had any other children,” Jane continued. “But we spend time together now and it has changed my life completely. I’m close to his adoptive parents. They’re wonderful. And he’s my mom’s only grandchild. Let’s just say Shaun had a really good Christmas last year.”

Silicone Bitch: Miami Trends Global While Women Shake Up the City

News and notes about the South Florida social media and blogging scene, with a little tech thrown in for good measure. And maybe some other random events, too.

A simple conversation among Twitter friends in Miami turned into a worldwide Twitter party at flash mob speed.

THE LITTLE HASHTAG THAT COULD

Yesterday, the Magic City's twitterati made history when a conversation about lies you're bound to hear in Miami ended up trending worldwide in a span of about 4 hours under the hashtag #top10lies. It started innocently enough between @miamitude and @shellynorthern, spurred on by yours truly (@vicequeenmaria), @jamimiami, @soulofmiami, @alistairpowell, @officialblopez, @sarahelles, and many others -- too many to name here.

Before the Heat vs. Bulls game was even in the first quarter, #top10lies overflowed the stream like a twitter tsunami. Apparently, the subject of lying really hit a chord among citizens of the planet! According to @alistairpowell, over 2% of all tweets on May 15 were tagged #top10lies.

At the time of this posting, the hashtag was still going strong though no longer trending.

Here were some classics. Remember, it started out specifically as top 10 lies you'll hear in Miami; the hashtag didn't go global until later.

"I'll only be 20 minutes late."

"I'm a social media expert."

"Fidel Castro is dead."

"Romero Britto is so talented."

"It's my house, but my parents live with me."

"That new stadium will generate massive economic benefit for the community."

IT'S ALL ABOUT THE FAIRER SEX THIS WEEK

South Florida is home to two important events this week focusing on women, inspiration and new media.

EMPOWERED WOMEN
The third annual Empowered Women's Success Summit begins on Thursday, May 19 for two full days of keynote speakers and panels delivering practical advice. It's a no-nonsense conference seeking to inspire women to "elevate" themselves professionally and personally. As Michelle Villalobos, describes it:

This is not your typical "women's" conference... no rah-rah useless mumbo jumbo. This is about getting practical tools and strategies for building your brand, raising your profile and generating profitable opportunities for the long haul! Oh, and we also have an onsite 'beauty lounge' with free express treatments - I mean, we are women after all.

Yours truly will be speaking on a panel with other South Florida movers and shakers @janiec, @tarynp, @astojanovic and @brendaleguisamo. @lisadsparks will lead beforehand, discussing how social media comes naturally to women.

Tickets to the conference at the Miami Museum of Science are still available for $25 a day or a $75 VIP pass for both days . The Expo portion of the conference is free. Keep up with Empowered Woman on Twitter by following the #ewssmiami hashtag.

SHECON
It's too bad this conference overlaps with Empowered Woman on Friday as both promise to be very worthwhile. The SheCon New Media Expo at the Miami Beach Convention Center begins Thursday evening and ends on Sunday, May 22. SheCon is organized by SheBlogs, a service that connects women bloggers to PR and marketing professionals, so many of the speakers and panels here will be focused on blogging for women. It is the first blogging conference in Miami put together by a South Florida based organization.

Keynote speaker Guy Kawasaki will open two days worth of sessions on Friday morning, which will feature locals Craig Agranoff, Rebecca Carter, Alex de Carvalho, Murray Izenwasser, Jeannette Kaplun, Mark Laymon, Blanca Stella Mejia, Stephanie Camargo Ruiz, Ryan Texeira and yours truly.

SheCon was designed to be a free conference, giving away 200 tickets that were quickly scooped up, so now there's only a waiting list. Audit passes are still available for $249. Register here. Get updates on SheCon by following the #shecon hashtag on Twitter.

I Went to the Latin Billboards After Party ...

... and all I got was within spitting distance of el guapísimo Enrique Iglesias. Couldn't you just pinch those cheeks?

Photo by Blanca of Blanca Stella and Mi Caminar.

Miami-centric blogs were quite under-represented at the awards and other ancillary activities like Telemundo's Social Media Day, even though some Latina bloggers were flown in from elsewhere in the country. But I'm glad I got a last minute invite to the after-party -- last minute as in less than 24 hours to accept the rsvp. This celebrity fest at Kyma Lounge inside the Epic Hotel downtown was sponsored by Universal Music and Ketel One so you know the music was great and delicious cocktails were flowing.

I enjoyed Blanca's company and playing paparazzi of the red carpet kind. I also had the pleasure of bumping into Susset Cabrera of Miami Beats and Sazón. Midtown Chica was there, but not on blogger detail. The party was a smash and gave the three of us a taste of the event's week-long buzzing excitement. Thanks to Universal Music and Ketel One for including us! Lo pasamos de maravilla.

Sorry to get all Silicone Bitch on this post, but here's an observation: yo Billboards and Telemundo, you might want to pay closer attention to Latina bloggers and tweeters in Miami who actually do hyper-local coverage. You could easily convert us into fans if we already aren't and even if we write in English. What better way to do social media outreach than to engage bloggers who can open doors for your brand in communities other than your already established fans?

After all, I was glued to my TV set for months when El Clón aired and I'll admit there have been a host of other telenovelas that have sucked me in. Also, it's great to learn more about musical artists and genres outside my immediate focus. This is Miami, after all! Aqui representamos!

Silicone Bitch: How To Spot a Social Media Douchebag

News and notes about the South Florida social media and blogging scene, with a little tech thrown in for good measure. And maybe some other random events, too.

Just for fun ...



THE SCRIPT

Interviewer: Hi, we have reviewed your application for Social Media Douchebag. What makes you think you are qualified?

Douchebag: For starters, my shrink told me I'm a total egomaniac narcissist.

Interviewer: Impressive. There are few people like that in the social media industry. What else?

Douchebag: I have social media douchebaggery down to an art. I tweet all kinds of self-promoting stuff, organize self-promoting events and masturbate in front of a mirror.

Interviewer: Aren't you supposed to engage people and be social?

Douchebag: Oh yeah, sure, but it's all a ruse. It's all about ME, ME, ME all the time. I never support anyone else's social media events unless I can milk it for my own purposes. I love leeching off other social media influencers who are genuine.

Interviewer: It certainly seems you are qualified. We will notify you after we've interviewed other applicants.

Douchebag: I'm the greatest social media douchebag of all time. Don't waste your time interviewing those other social media douchebag posers. When I log onto Linkedin, people tremble in fear.

Interviewer: Great. So you won't mind it if the door kicks your ass on the way out.

Silicone Bitch: Foursquare, Weather Tech, LinkedIn and More

News and notes about the South Florida social media and blogging scene, with a little tech thrown in for good measure. And maybe some other random events, too.

Nothing square about this gang. Photo by @nataschaos.

There's a bunch of goodies for your Easter basket this month ...

FOURSQUARE DAY

Yesterday was Foursquare Day, which is basically a worldwide excuse for businesses to lure patrons and for friends to party. And that we did -- starting at 4:16 PM at Sugarcane Raw Bar in Midtown Miami for cocktails and appetizers, moving along later in the evening to JimmyZ in Wynwood for some good eats. Roughly 50 or more local Twitter pals showed up for what really felt like an old skool tweetup. Save for some confusion about cocktail prices (Foursquare attendees were supposed to pay $4.16 for cocktails, but some of us still got stuck with full price), the gathering was a blast. Some folks even earned the much-coveted swarm badge.

(A special treat for me: having a NYC friend text me pictures of herself posing with Foursquare founders Naveen Selvadurai and Dennis Crowley.)

REFRESH MIAMI

Silicone Bitch loves useful technology, which is why last March's Refresh Miami is worth mentioning here. Matthew Wensing, co-founder of Stormpulse.com, gave a funny, engaging presentation about this homegrown technology that provides weather data to millions of people and numerous Fortune 500 companies. When significant weather affects business, companies use Stormpulse to assess risk. As well, news networks use Stormpulse's interface for weather broadcasts. And we know that the regular Joe here in Florida needs good weather information too -- visits to Stormpulse.com spike anytime a hurricane threatens in the Atlantic.

SOCIAL MEDIA CLUB

April's Social Media Club South Florida was a smash hit, covering all the ins and outs of Linkedin. Hosted by Ana G. Mendez University in Miramar, the meeting featured panelists Patrick Barbanes (The Branding Professor), David Rose (Yellow Dog Recruiting), David Suarez (addventures) and Seth Elliott (Startup Forum) -- all four of this wily crew moderated beautifully by author Denise Jacobs. The panel focused on ways to make Linkedin better serve individuals and companies, either for self-promotions or as a research tool. "Everyone should be on Linkedin," said Barbanes. "It's online gold."

WLRN UNDER THE SUN

Amazing things happen when brains come together for a good cause.

Earlier this month, WLRN's Under the Sun corralled a group of active social media users and professionals for an intense brainstorming session. About twenty of us sat at the roundtable, jotting down ideas on sticky notes that could help the radio program gain a stronger foothold in the community using social media. Although some of us usually get paid to dole out this kind of advice, this was community collaboration at its best.

MILLION DOLLAR MEMO

Sapient Nitro, one of the world's largest integrated marketing and technology firms is headquartered in Boston and its Miami branch boasts the grooviest office space on Lincoln Road. They're responsible for equally groovy projects, including the latest partnership with with Tourism Queensland to get you and your coworkers down under for the trip of a lifetime. Any company with at least three employees can apply for the five-star, million-dollar travel adventure by submitting a 60-second video to Million Dollar Memo. The deadline is May 1.

BOB AWARDS

Many thanks to those who voted for me in the Sun Sentinel's Best of Blog Awards! I won Best Personal Twitter Stream (@vicequeenmaria) with minimal social media whoring, so I'm pretty sure I deserved the honor, although sadly, Sex and the Beach lost to a cat blog under the "Defies Categorization" category. I guess I need to start writing more about pussy. Other Sex and the Beach faves who won: Accidental Sexiness, A Guy on Clematis, Beached Miami, Midtown Chic-a, Photography Is Not A Crime and Wide Lawns and Narrow Minds.

SAVE THE DATE

The Startup Forum has organized a second pitch event for April 25 at Miami City Hall. The last event had over 250 attendees, so get your ticket now to see 5 judges decide which one of 4 startups will be the winner in this fast-paced competition. (And while you're at City Hall, gaze upward to the historic ceiling mural.)

MISSING LINKS

Some SxSw posts fell too late onto Silicone Bitch's radar since the last edition of the column. Here's some coverage at Miami Beach 411, in case you missed it: Content and Networking is King and the very controversial Miami Still Lagging Behind When it Comes to Innovation.

And don't forget, SxSe is definitely on the radar for July! Reserve your room soon at The Eden House in Key West. We're working on a pub crawl that is sure to become the stuff of legend. Details at SxSe.

Silicone Bitch: Not SXSW March Madness

News and notes about the South Florida social media and blogging scene, with a little tech thrown in for good measure. And maybe some other random events, too.

Eager hands at WordCamp Miami. Photo by Alexdesigns via Flickr.

It's a long story on why I didn't go to SXSW earlier this month, and it's a story I'm not particularly happy about, so we shall have no coverage for you of the biggest social media circle jerk of the year. However, Silicone Bitch kept a watchful eye on the local social media and blogging scene, as usual. Somebody had to stay home and take care of the chickens. April will be the one-year anniversary of this column!

STARTUP BUS MIAMI

Yet we must mention this: what happens when you put a bunch of geeks on a bus, forced to brainstorm great ideas in a span of 48 hours? This, my friends, is what a bunch of geeks did on their way to SXSW this year. Spearheaded in part by West Palm Beach-based Marc Kaplan (@sflsocialgeeks), Startup Bus Miami was one of six buses vying to win a national competition.

Other buses made their way to Austin from San Francisco, Silicon Valley, New York, Cleveland and Chicago. Ironically, though, the bus itself wasn't filled exclusively with Floridian passengers -- only a handful from Southeast Florida and Tampa, with others joining in from Louisiana and Atlanta.

Thirty five geeks worked hard to come up with seven pitches. The one that made it to the finals -- mynewman.com, an "anti-social" network -- didn't win the competition, unfortunately.

Startup Bus Miami will have another incarnation next year. "I'd like to see more local people participating next year," said Kaplan over a phone interview. "Let's show them that Florida is a force to contend with."

Yes. We're Silicon Beach, after all.


NEWS AND NOTES

• WordCamp Miami was a smashing success this year. Over 300 people showed up to learn everything from blogging basics to developer tricks. Anyone interested in blogging should attend this event in 2012. If you couldn't make it this year, there's still much to learn from the videos and presentations page. You'll find my Blogging 101 slide there, too.
  

• Never doubt the power of social media and online communities. Over at Miami Beach 411, we helped nab an alleged craigslist scammer (aka Monica Brown) just by doing some basic gumshoe work inspired by a forum thread warning would-be South Beach residents about roommate and rental shenanigans.

• The second annual Sun Sentinel "Best of Blogs" Award is currently accepting nominations. I wish they would curate this competition so it doesn't become one big social media popularity contest. We already learned that lesson over at South Florida Daily Blog, where a panel of of devoted bloggers and readers oversees the process now.

RANDOM GOOD STUFF

• My friend @kimcelenza is helping organize an ULTRA music event called Cirque du Pool for March 26. That's not normally my scene, but it seems like a good deal, so I'm giving them a little love here. $100 VIP tickets get you in with bottomless champagne on the rooftop, corner of 5th and Ocean Drive. South Beach's wildest "seen and be seen" corner will be buzzing with the sounds of groovy DJs like Ralph Falcon. Soul of Miami has all the details and links.

• Save the date for sometime in the doldrums of summer -- possibly July, maybe August. SxSe (South By Southeast), Southeast Florida's best and brightest old-school tweetup, will take place somewhere in the Florida Keys. We're courting several properties down there to see who will have us and give us the best deals.

Silicone Bitch: It's All About Entrepreneurship and Education

News and notes about the South Florida social media and blogging scene, with a little tech thrown in for good measure. And maybe some other random events, too.

Tech burlesque? Marcos Menendez, founder of Momares.

STARTUP FORUM

The Startup Forum held "Are You Serious?" February 10 at Miami Dade College. This educational event, based on similar events at New York's Hatchery, featured local startup companies who pitched their ideas in five minutes or less to expert investors from New York and South Florida. Miami's inaugural Hatchery had us sitting on the edge of our seats, wondering who would win the most points.

Silicone Bitch favorite CloudShopper presented but it was Momares who won with his text messaging service and on-stage charisma. (Momares stands for "Mobile Marketing for the Rest of Us" and gives businesses the technology to reach customers via mobile.)

One of Startup Forum's goals for 2011 is to connect promising startups with investors in New York and Miami. The next pitch event is March 31. Any startup is welcome to apply for a pitch -- it can even be offline and unrelated to tech. Visit The Startup Forum for more information.

SXSW HIT MIAMI

SXSW Interactive, the world's biggest gathering of social media types held every March in Austin, was representing last month at Social Media Club South Florida by throwing a party in lovely Overtown among the crackheads. "Bar" as the venue is called, is so low profile, even the bathroom door handles don't work. But that didn't matter, because the crowd was buzzing with South Florida's tried and true twitterati and some new folks as well. The purpose of this "town hall" was to help locals attending the Austin schmooze fest with tips on how to manage the gargantuan convention.

Hashable, a new web and mobile product that lets you keep track of who you're meeting and introducing, was in the house as well. The app will have its official launch at SXSW. I predict Hashable will be helpful when you get home with a stack of business cards and wonder who the hell was who in the first place. No more scratching your head to remember who you had breakfast, lunch, dinner or drinks with. (Silicone Bitch is wondering if the tag #sex will be popular, too.)

SMALL BUSINESS EMPOWERMENT

Just as I posted about not being a social media guru in the last column, a last-minute opportunity came up to present on the subject of Facebook at the Miami-Dade Chamber of Commerce business empowerment series entitled "Social Media Success." My co-presenter, Blanca Stella Mejía and I spoke to an audience of 70 on setting up Facebook pages for business, utilizing several local organizations and companies as successful models -- PALO! and Miamism, to name a few.

While Blanca spoke mostly about technique, I focused more on the intangibles of social interaction and it was completely un-guruish, I assure you, though we did share our best practices and hands-on skills with the eager audience of newbies. The other two speakers, who addressed social media in general and Twitter, were Bill Grunau of Circle of One Marketing and Marvin DeJean.

You can view the full presentation below:

Miami Dade Chamber of Commerce Social Media Success Workshop presentation 2011-02

View more presentations from Circle of One Marketing

The Business Empowerment Series hosted by the chamber, which encompasses a variety of topics, took place at Jungle Island's convention rooms. At only $15 for non-members and $10 for members, the half-day of lectures, Q & A and networking included continental breakfast and lunch.

WORDCAMP MIAMI 2011

Wordcamp Miami is taking place March 5 at the University of Miami. In its third year, the sold-out event features a beginner, marketing and design as well as a developer track. Yours truly will open the beginner track with a lecture on blogging basics; there are 19 other speakers covering everything from SEO, monetizing blogs to plugins and more. If you missed Wordcamp this year, keep your eyes peeled for the next edition. At $30, it's a bargain for a day chock-full of information and education, plus networking.

TEDx MIAMI

TEDx MIAMI makes its second round in the Magic City with a live broadcast from the main TED conference in California starting at 5 PM today in the Design District. Yes, somewhere in the land of fluff, the flower of knowledge and ideas will bloom and no one will talk about The Real Housewives of Miami, so help me God. You know that sorta smart and rich guy, Bill Gates? Well, he'll be broadcasting on screen promptly at 5:15 PM. Other speakers will prevail until 10 PM. The thirst for knowledge will be quenched and a cash bar will also be available to soothe the thirst for adult beverages. Sakaya Kitchen's food truck, Dim Ssam a go go, will be on the premises selling food. The event is free and open to the public. RSVP for headcount at Eventbrite.

SUAGM: HEALTH, WEALTH AND ENTREPRENEURSHIP

Ladies, don't forget this excellent one-day series of inspiring lectures, Q & A and networking takes place next week on March 10. Silicone Bitch highly recommends. Get your early bird ticket at $25 -- only a limited number available. See you there! RSVP at Eventbrite.

Silicone Bitch: Yoga and Social Media

News and notes about the South Florida social media and blogging scene, with a little tech thrown in for good measure. And maybe some other random events, too.

Earlier this week some friends and I met up for drinks after a networker in Coral Gables and somehow the conversation segued to something that has been on my mind for a long time -- the similarities between the philosophy of yoga and what us social media types are doing today.

But before I get into that, let me just plead, absolutely and utterly beg you to stop doing something that has annoyed me since day one...

Dear social media world, please cease from using the word guru immediately!

Yes, yes I know that language is a malleable and flexible creature and that English adopts words from other cultures for its own use, but pay attention to the original Sanskrit meaning:

Gu denotes darkness and ignorance
Ru denotes enlightment

In other words, a guru a bringer of light, a dispeler of darkness, a spiritual guide who leads you not on someone else's path but into your own heart and the God self within you, to discover the light within yourself.

So tell me, what the hell does a social media preacher have to do with that?

Nothing.

Stop it.

Nobody "owns" or is an "expert" in a field that is fledgling. Whenever I teach a workshop or give a lecture, I am up front and completely transparent with my students: I am simply sharing my best practices with you, what has and hasn't worked for me, but we are all students in this. I just may be a little ahead of the ball game, that's all. And you know what? Sometimes I learn from you. Teaching and learning are really the same thing. The true teacher knows this. The true guru is the humblest person on the planet. The true guru knows that the student is his or her own guru.

Bottom line: no one in social media is a guru. Please respect the original meaning of the term or I'm going to think you're an idiot.

YOGA

Nonetheless, there is an interesting way of looking at social media through a yogic lens.

In a nutshell: the over 5,000 year-old philosophy of yoga originating in India seeks to unify mind, body and soul within the individual and on a broader scale, to bring together all living things with a sense of interconnectedness.

The word yoga itself denotes "yoking" of all the physical and spiritual elements that make our human journeys a worthwhile experience. When you practice yoga, you seek to bring every fiber of your physical and spiritual being into perspective and balance. And once you get comfortable with that, you give the love and peace within yourself as a gift to the world. It becomes an expression in your personal and business relationships. This is the real meaning of tantra, by the way. Ultimately, it has nothing do with sex.

You do not have to change your name to Sanskrit, shave your head, wear birkenstocks, eat organic vegetables and devote yourself to charity to be a yogi. You do not have to be a Ghandi or Mother Teresa. Each and everyone of us, no matter what we do, can tap into this with each and every little gesture in our mundane lives.

What does this have to do with social media? Well, quite simply, the ancient yogis had it all figured out that we were connected on some level, even before there was modern technology. What we are doing today is part of a great evolution. Our current technology simply facilitates the process.

Social media and technology are wrapped up in what yogis call energy. We are all energy. Even the machines we use to explore that energy are part of the process.

I encourage you to think of this on an atomic level. Even your computer, as well as the cables and wires that make up the interwebz, are organic objects; after all, they too consist of atomic particles, the building blocks of life. They don't call it "silicon" for nothing: it's an actual metalloid with its own atomic number and a conductor of energy.

The internet is a conveyor of our spiritual intentions, for better or worse. Social media has enabled connectivity in ways that the yogis of yore would never have dreamed of ... or perhaps they did and foresaw it. How is it possible that I can connect with someone through wires and microchips? Well, it's not about the wires and microchips. It's about the wires and microchips conveying my energy to you.

When you close a yoga class with your hands in prayer position at your chest on front of your heart chakra, you say namaste. This Sanskrit word means "the light in me honors the light in you." In some ways, those of us using social media for establishing positive, organic connections are doing the same. We make things happen. We bring people together. We use the tools at hand as an extension of our spiritual goal to manifest the inter-relatedness of all things.

Remember: yoga is not about standing on your head or sitting like a pretzel. Hatha yoga -- the art and science of physical poses -- is simply a means to an end. The real yoga comes when you practice compassion with a sense of complete connection to all beings around you. It is a joyful expression of your soul and wonders never cease. You may not be perfect in the process, but your intention is golden. If you are doing social media this way, you are doing it akin to the yogic path.

I'm not saying yoga is social media, not at all: yoga is an art and science that requires its own specific discipline and training. But what I do see is a beautiful analogy between an ancient philosophy and a very advanced technology that most of us take for granted. Every time you use Twitter, Facebook, Foursquare and all the other networking properties, you are part of a larger evolution.

Think about it: the endless flurry of messages on Twitter is evidence of everyone's yogic path: I am here. I am alive. I have something to say. I am doing something. Let me share that with you. Let me do something with you. Let me listen to you. Let me play with you. Let me laugh with you. Thank YOU for letting me into your world and for connecting.

Yoga is not about ego. Yoga is about there no longer being a "me" or a "you" but an "us" on a global scale. That's where the love comes in and the social networks absolutely, one-hundred percent facilitate this way of life, this way of seeing the world. Yet another reason why no one should ever call themselves a social media guru -- it is not about your ego. If you're doing social media like a yogi, it is never ultimately about ME but about the connection between US.

Stop and smell the roses. See the bigger picture in what you are doing and have accomplished through social media. Be mindful about it; look at it as a yogi would.

As a former yoga instructor who stopped doing poses a few years ago, I recently realized that I have been practicing in my own way all this time. Social media changed my life for the better and continues to keep me on my path.

BOTTOM LINE

I hope my example can bring a fresh perspective to others. If you ever sign up for a workshop that promises to teach you social media, remember that you already know it because you are already a social human being with potential to expand your soul in a yogic way. The only thing those "gurus" out there should really teach you are rote skills, like driving a car. If you really want to know social media, then be a student of human relationships. Putting together a fabulous Facebook Fan Page means nothing if you don't have the right energy and sense of connectivity.

IMAGE CREDIT: Adria.Richards via Flickr

Silicone Bitch: South Florida Social Media in the New Year

News and notes about the South Florida social media and blogging scene, with a little tech thrown in for good measure. And maybe some other random events, too.

I know I haven't posted since Blogalicious, but as most of my followers know, I've been busy chasing pirates. Now that we're into February, here are some thoughts on the state of social media in South Florida. I'm probably going to piss off a lot of people by being honest, but hey, everybody knows I have a big mouth, not just a big ass.

OK HERE WE GO, TAKE A DEEP BREATH

I've been around the scene since the first pilot meeting of Social Media Club South Florida back in 2008. I have witnessed the community evolve and grow. I even wrote a column for Miami New Times about local media called Silicon Beach (just a reminder, in case you are new to Silicone Bitch). I personally know many of the folks who make it happen and I'm proud to be part of this community. Although I am not on the board of Social Media Club South Florida (I can't be if I'm going to write about it impartially), I support that group one hundred percent.

But here's the thing -- I think we've gone a bit astray from that original meeting in 2008. Some newcomers have piggybacked on those original efforts, which is fine -- new and fresh blood is good. The problem is that I've been noticing a trend away from the original message of Social Media Club: "if you get it, share it." And let me emphasize share while I bring up the corny phrase, sharing is caring.

You know what? It's true. Any one person or company who comes to me acting like they care when they don't, using social media to further their own agenda, will be labeled as a poser in my book.

Why? Because I'm not interested in the snake oil you're selling. I'm interested in the relationship you have with me and the relationships you can facilitate for me with other people. And if you can do that -- if you care about me -- I'm most likely to buy your snake oil or at least shake hands with you in mutual, professional respect.

Don't get me wrong; I'm not being naive here -- we all have an agenda of some kind. Just by being alive and breathing, we each are a "brand" ... but the big difference is in intention and the transparency of that intention.

I'm tired of events that are called tweetups when really they are just traditional networkers, office warming parties, fundraisers, commercial sponsorships, travel writer fam trips or whatever. Just call a spade a spade, and then use social media to promote it. Nothing wrong with that. What is wrong is posing as a social media event.

I'm tired of people who shake my hand and tell me how many Twitter followers they have. Honestly, I don't give a shit, and that puts you automatically in the category of Social Media Douchebag.

I could go on and on, but I'm going to leave it at that.

BUT MARIA YOU ARE ALWAYS PARTICIPATING

Not so, not so, grasshopper. I've shied away from many events recently. Why? Because they don't seem genuine to me.

Now, some of you are going to raise your hand and ask: "But what about Pizza Tweetups? What about Chevy Crawls?"

Folks, it is a fine line, I'll admit. But not so fine that you can't tell the difference between a charlatan and an honest enterprise.

Events like Pizza Tweetups and Chevy Crawls are great examples of how you can bring people together who are already connected in social media to discuss a common, shared social object. What makes these events successful is that they are never about pizza and never about Chevy. They are about sharing and connecting. This is VERY different than your traditional networker or party.

As more companies reach out to bloggers and social media types for exposure, they should really keep this in mind. It is never about your agenda or your product. It is about the person you are essentially "engaging" to communicate for you and more importantly, the individuals connecting with each other because of you.

WHO'S ROCKING IT

Do I remember each slice of pizza I had at any of @lapp's pizza tweetup? Hell no. Would I eat at some of those restaurants again? Maybe. But what defines loyalty for me is that I remember the interactions I had with other people at those pizza tweetups -- the community that was formed and solidified; memorable moments that had nothing to do with pie.

Here's another example of good social media strategy courtesy of Toby Srebnik, who designed events for Tilson PR and has now moved on to a new firm. Do I eat at Dunkin Donuts everyday? No. But thanks to Toby, I was able to bring my readers some interesting content that had nothing to do with donuts and so I have consumer goodwill toward that company.

For the Truly Nolen campaign, I had a blast hanging out with Twitter friends at Butterfly World. Where was pest control in all that? Just a faint glimmer in the horizon. And yet it was, by all accounts, a great corporate social media campaign.

What made my participation in the Ford Fiesta Movement so fun? Because it was never really about the car when I blogged about it. Brad and I wrestled alligators. We geocached through Dade County. We spoofed Scarface. We shared what we learned about Miami graffiti with our readers and got messy spray painting a wall with a hundred people. This and so much more ... the car was always an afterthought.

Remember Stormhoek Wine's highly successful blogger dinner campaign, led by genius cartoonist Gaping Void? Hell, it was never really about the god damn the wine. They didn't give a shit if you blogged, tweeted or facebooked about it or not. They just wanted you to enjoy some wine with your friends, no obligation.

RELATIONSHIPS DON'T EXIST IN A VACUUM

It doesn't hurt that Toby treats me like a person and not just another blogger he can pitch to. Ditto for Stephanie Camargo, aka blogger Midtown Chica, who is transparent about her work with Chevy. They have both taken the time to develop a real relationship with me. And as for @Lapp, I have broken bread with him and his family. Again, it's never about the pizza!

I also have to mention Steve Roitstein from the band PALO! -- a true expert at his own social media who humbly never claims to be. But why is he an expert? Because he gets it. He shares it. He cares. I met him on Twitter and the man made me chicken soup before I even became a fan of his band. Talk about organic. I would have loved his music anyway, but he had me at bouillon.

WEARING TWO HATS

I have even been on the flip side, getting hired to do social media outreach directed at other bloggers. Weird huh? But why not hire a blogger to talk to other bloggers, right? Who best knows what a blogger wants than a blogger herself?

In those campaigns, you know what makes me profoundly uncomfortable? When I can't pick up the phone and chat with that blogger like a friend I'm inviting to my birthday party. I can't stand to be a poser.

This is the bottom line: you cannot become a social media "pro" overnight; you can learn tools but that won't make you an expert. It requires practice, patience, commitment, loyalty, diplomacy, finesse as well as social and rhetorical skills -- all wrapped up in organic relationships with your audience. But most importantly, you need to be the real you.

As more people plan events and conferences, well, I encourage everyone to follow suit. Be totally transparent. Transparency, honesty of intention and centering around the social rather than the commercial agenda is what's going to last after the gold rush is over and the snake oil sellers have moved on.

If you preach, teach or do social media as a living, keep it real. Is that too much to ask?

SO ENOUGH BITCHING

What am I not tired of? The savvy people I've mentioned above (there are more, but sorry I can't get to everyone) as well as the wonderful group of people I've met who are genuine, many of whom are part of the Miami Rat Pack, for example, which has the potential to do some good in this city and already has.

And I love that someone like Liza Walton can have a casual conversation about croquetas and create a whole, socially driven event around a simple fritter.

There's a lot of good stuff out there around us ... but we need to remember how this all got started. Again, keep it real.

VICEQUEEN'S FAVORITES

And so without further ado, here are some events to keep on your radar for the coming weeks:

• Miami's own Startup Forum is hosting Are You Serious? on February 10. This inaugural Miami event is based on Hatchery events elsewhere, described as "a fast-paced, live pitch-event for startups and entre­pre­neurs that pro­vides pub­lic, live feed­back from experts." Only 5 startups can present to 4 judges. This should be hot. Even Paris Hilton would think so, trust me.

• That sexy Russian geek from Long Island, Craig Agranoff, and his business partner Herb Tabin, are broadcasting on the boob tube in West Palm Beach with a TV segment called the ProTECHtors on CBS 12. Visit Agustina Prigoshin to see a video interview.

• No woman in South Florida should miss the 2nd Annual Health, Wealth and Entrepreneurship Conference at Ana G. Mendez University System in Miramar on March 10. I went last year and can't wait to go again. Expect a day of inspiration listening to the stories of entrepreneurial women from all walks of life. This is not a hokey, stroke-your-ego kind of conference. It's real women talking about real issues. No BravoTV housewives here!

• I know I'm a Blogger chic, but if you're thinking about using Wordpress for blogging, self-publishing or running a business website I highly recommend Wordcamp Workshop with Refresh Miami on February 19 as well as Wordcamp 2011 on March 5.

• Oh, just for fun, yours truly is hosting an Old Skool Tweetup at Lady Marmalade on February 19 in South Miami.

• Some of you have been inquiring, so here you go: plans for SxSe 2011 are in the works for sometime in the summer ... stay tuned. We are deciding on a location in Florida possibly away from Dade or Broward, but we will definitely do some kind of tweetup in Miami at some point.

And finally, though not an event, I thought you might like to know about ALike Places which was revealed at Refresh Miami last month. It's a beta web and mobile application, designed by a group of Miami geeks, that finds restaurants, bars, lounges and other places based on things you already like. Though not curated by human editors yet, it's definitely an interesting application. Check it out.

Silicone Bitch: Is Blogging Really That Blogalicious?

News and notes about the South Florida social media and blogging scene, with a little tech thrown in for good measure. And maybe some other random events, too.

Blogalicious 2010 in South Beach last weekend was incredibly inspiring. The conference had a friendly, fun and social atmosphere, but it was also dead serious on the the pros and cons of this thing we do called blogging. Panels, discussions and breakout sessions focused on myriad topics -- from all the technical details of blogging to the personal branding that comes along with the craft -- and everything in between.

(By the way, if you've been hanging around here, you know that I take exception to the word blogger and prefer to call it self-publishing, so bear with me while I still use the offensive term.)

Blogalicious was true to its mission of celebrating diversity in blogging and although some emphasis was placed on women of color and latinas, at the end of the day, we were all women of many colors, of many geographic origins, of many creeds and beliefs, of varying incomes, educations, sexual orientations and statuses; we were single women, married women, divorced women, childless women, mommy bloggers, fat, skinny, women ... but who cares what we looked like in the end and where we were from? And heck, there were even some men in the crowd!

What truly mattered is that we all had one thing in common: we were each of us a woman with a voice who has something to say and wasn't afraid to say it, empowered by the entrepreneurial lifestyle of self-publishing. Many of us had already taken the leap of faith; some of us were just mustering up the courage to press that "publish post" button.

And all of this got me thinking about the price we have to pay for this blogging thing we so stubbornly pursue. Being a self-publisher comes at a price. If you're a serious blogger who has thought about making a living at blogging, you know the practice comes with some sacrifice.

Here are some thoughts that have been swishing about in my brain since last weekend.

SACRIFICE
For me, having a blog has meant sacrificing energy and time, turning away crappy "paying" work only because I believe so much in this damn thing. Call me an idiot if you like, but I'd rather be writing for me than for some factory mill even if that means having to make certain choices about how I live my life -- choices that might be difficult for others to understand; choices that mean giving up certain securities and comforts. In other words, you need cojones and conviction to do it and to own it deep down inside, even if you have to give up many milestones a more traditional life path may have had in store for you. This isn't everyone woman's blogging story, but it's certainly mine and that of other single women I know.

RELATIONSHIPS
Which begs the question, women bloggers out there: is their a gender role issue in blogging and the independent lifestyle you need to maintain a good blog? Can men handle the independence you need to go out and cover events? Are they jealous? And if you're a wife or mom, are you willing to take the time away from your spouse or children to self-publish? I realize this isn't just about women (men could face the same issues as well), but I've found some guys just can't deal with the commitment I have to my self-publishing lifestyle.

DEALING WITH BRANDS
I'm more and more convinced each day that if you're not pitching to brands, you're not ready for a brand to support you. Take time to find those relationships that work for your blog. If your stuff is good, find something that's just as good to support your material and think of creative ways to incorporate it into your website.

But for pete's sake, don't be a shill. Don't do straight-out product reviews! Instead, do something really cool that provides great content; there's got to be something in it for you and your readers. Yes, we do have to make money, but there has to be a compromise -- aim for a relationship to a brand that provides elegant and quality support of your editorial.

Tell brands you're interested in advertising opportunities instead of product reviews. You seriously don't want to be all advertorial. Milk them ... what have you got to lose? Remember, they are sucking up to us because they know how powerful we can be as social media influencers.

SELLING OUT
On the other hand, and I really mean seriously on the other fucking hand, when you get to paid to blog, invariably, you might feel like you have to sell out a little. How much are you willing to sell out (if we must call it that) and for whom? South Florida Daily Blog recently discussed that in a post about the blogging scene regarding Carlos Miller's move to Pixiq. It's not fair for bloggers to have to starve forever. Cut us some slack. I don't think Miller is selling out. He's doing what he needs to do to keep doing what he's been doing and so good for him.

HOBBY VERSUS WORK
One of the most annoying things about a being a self-publisher is explaining your line of "work" to people who don't get it, especially those from older generations. Only other bloggers and a few digital savvy people get what I do. Everyone else thinks I'm a professional slacker or something, which of course, provides great fodder for humor. But seriously: it's not a hobby. It's hard work on top of the other work I already have to do. See section "sacrifice" above.

THE ANSWER IS YES
Is blogging really blogalicious? Why yes it is! But blogging comes at a price and one that is definitely worthwhile. I don't think any woman walked away from this weekend without questioning the concept of blogging; yet with that questioning came also came a strong desire to do her own creative thing in self-publishing.

When guest speaker Marc Morial, President and CEO of the National Urban League, brought up the invention of the Guttenberg Press in a general session on Sunday morning, he knew damn well what he was talking about. Voice and broadcast is a powerful.

And I think (I hope), I speak for all of us that we left the conference with a better understanding of a digital sisterhood. Let's not self-publish in a vacuum. Hopefully for some, a sisterhood will translate into real-life relationships of support and friendship as we grow collectively into a vanguard generation of self-publishers.

If you're interested in seeing where Blogalicious is headed next year, make sure to follow the conference on twitter @Beblogalicious. Kudos to the "Justices" for organizing it a second year in a row and thanks to all the sponsors. Miami Beach was lucky to have this conference!

An extra treat: see a video capture of CNN journalist Soledad O'Brien while she did a Skype conference from her home with Blogalicious. (Via @anandaleeke.)