Gender Fuck Thursday: In Knots Edition

So, I’m thinking of wearing a tie out this Pride Weekend. I don’t usually wear ties, though I love them. As a kid, playing dress up with my dad’s old disguared ties was one of my most favorite games. (Seriously, how did I not know earlier?) But as an adult I haven’t ventured out in them too much for a number of reasons. My workplace is pretty casual. I’m not actually all that butch. I’m absolute rubbish at tying them. And, well, it can be a little stereotypical (I know, I know – big gay watch, big gay thumb ring, big gay chunky belt already). But this year I’m just really feeling the allure of a beautiful cravate. Naturally, I turn to my ladies of the gender fuck for inspiration. My, what lovely inspiration it is.

Annie LennoxWatch and learn, children, watch and learn

Marion CotillardShe makes me want to be a better woman in men’s clothes.

Anne HathawayThis photo proves that Anne needs to play gay in a movie immediately, if not sooner.

Karolina KurkovaI don’t usually feature models (let alone two, with Miranda Kerr above), but I was helpless against the killer lip bite and loose tie combination.

Kate MoennigCan’t explain the hair or the gloves. But I do love the tie.

BeyoncéI just like how she’s always leaning. Against stuff. She leans great

Selma BlairIf this was a “No Shirt, No Hands Down Pants, No Service” establishment, Selma would be in big trouble.

Lucille BallThe real reason we loved Lucy.

There, now don’t you feel all inspired? Now the only question left is which knot to use. And when, exactly, to loosen it.

Tank Top Tuesday

Oh, Tuesdays. People always complain about Mondays, what with it being the first day of the week and on Garfield’s mug and all. But Tuesdays, Tuesdays are the real killer. Tuesdays are still too many days away from Friday, but without the excusable grumpiness cache that Monday carries. Plus, all the really boring meetings happen on Tuesdays because managers figure everyone who calls in “sick” on Mondays should actually be in by then. Hell, Tuesdays even make Charlize Theron scream – and not in the good way. So that, that’s why we must fight back the Tuesdays with everything we have. Some use a gun, others a sword. I, of course, never come armed without the best Tuesday killer possible: tank tops. Just doing my part, folks. Just doing my part.

Naomi WattsI can’t tell if I’m more impressed by the tank, the shoes or this pose. So I’m going to answer, “Yes.”

Thora BirchWhere’d she go? And wherever she went, I hope she’s still a redhead.

Scarlett JohanssonIf all her contracts don’t have a tank top clause, they should.

Aubrey PlazaAre you still not watching “Parks & Recreation” yet? Don’t make me scold you again.

Maggie QFine, this isn’t “technically” a tank top. But it’s got straps and fabric down the front, so I’m claiming it.

Padma LakshmiI miss “Top Chef” so much. And by “Top Chef,” I mean “Padma.”

Gwyneth PaltrowI miss her on “Glee,” too. But on the plus side, perhaps this means fewer Mr. Shue storylines.

Leisha Hailey, Kate Moennig, Laurel HollomanOK, I miss them most of all. Not the storylines, per se, just them.

Sara RamirezDo you know how hard it is to find a picture of Sara in a tank top? I give and I give, Internet.

Right, so I think it’s safe to say we totally kicked Tuesday’s ass.

The circle of (lesbian) life

I saw these photos of Kate Moennig a week ago when she retweeted them. And I was, of course, impressed. Yummy, yummy in my tummy. But then in the circular way that both life and my brain works, I came back to them this week and the pieces had all come together. The photos were taken by lesbian photographer Tasya van Ree. Who happens to be dating actress Amber Heard.

And then you dig a little deeper and Tasya knows Michelle Rodriguez. And out supermodel Tasha Tilberg. And, of course, back to Kate. Following the rabbit hole of who knows who and how and when in Hollywood is curiouser and curiouser than Alice could have ever imagined. And so the circle goes on and on.

I’m not very familiar with Amber, other than that she is a very pretty young woman. While she has starred in the “Pineapple Express” and “Zombieland,” the only thing I recall ever seeing her in was an episode of “Criminal Minds” where, interestingly, her crazed stalker was a woman. But she is a welcome addition to what I hope will be a new and expectation defying wave of young gay Hollywood stars. While they’ve been out and about for what appears to be years (or at the very least known each other for years), the couple really made a splash appearing last week at the Prop. 8 rally hand-in-hand with some really fantastic signs.

A year ago Amber told Details:

“I’m open to whoever. I think it is absurd to assume that I have to look in a certain category. A person should make choices—about who they want to marry, who they want to spend time with, who they want to fuck—based on a variety of options, and I hope that one day people will be more open-minded about that. It’s silly to look in one category or another. I would never imagine a mate based on a certain sex or race.”

Of course, actresses saying they’re “open to whoever” is one thing. Having a real girlfriend that you walk the dog with and go to protests with and pose for sexy photoshoots with that’s another.

Next for Amber is the Johnny Depp take on Hunter S. Thompson’s “The Rum Diaries.” The whole thing should be gorgeous because it has Johnny and Amber and is set in 1960s Puerto Rico . I have already put it on my “To Do” list. It makes a difference when someone is out, open, honest. Each person, every time. And so the circle expands.

Sarah smile

Sarah Shahi will be back on our TVS for at least 12 episodes next season. I think we should all take a moment to acknowledge that whatever else is wrong with the world – and there is a lot beginning with and not limited to war, poverty, injustice, greed – in this one relatively insignificant area the universe actually got things very, very right. Sarah Shahi needs to be on our televisions. Now, admittedly, I didn’t watch “Life” as regularly as I probably should have (especially considering it got canceled). But I always felt better about the universe knowing, if I wanted to, I could change the channel and see her there. It’s comforting to know someone that how is only a click away (yes, yes DVDs – but new, fresh, shiny).

At this point half of you are like, well, tell me about this new show and the other half are like, um, show don’t tell. So I’ll attempt to do both. Sarah’s USA series, “Facing Kate,” has been picked up by USA for an 11 episode order in addition to its 90-minute pilot.In the series, Sarah plays Kate Reed, “a top litigator who, frustrated with the bureaucracy and injustice she witnesses in legal system, decides to become the ultimate anti-lawyer: a mediator.” Now, regrettably, as a mediator there will be considerably less call for her to wear (or, more accurately, not wear) something like this.

But, on the plus side, there will probably be considerably more call for her to wear something like her smart girl glasses. One door closes, another one opens.

Also, this seems like the perfect opportunity to bring some of Sarah’s more suit-inclined (suit-able? Oh, puns) co-stars in for guest appearances. Now, the obvious first choice is Kate Moennig. Looks great in a suit. Looks great with Sarah. And, what could be more appropriate? Sarah spent two seasons on “The L Word” facing Kate.

But there’s also a dark horse contender I didn’t even consider until certain photographic evidence came to light. I find it irrefutable.

See, sometimes, just sometimes, the universe smiles down on us.