Sunday Sermon [Guilt Trip]

¡Hola! Everybody…
Today is the Gay Pride Parade here in the Center of the Known Universe. Let me reiterate here once again and express my support to my GLBT brothers and sisters. To my inbred, repressed brethren who are against gay marriage? Well… I would submit that if you’re against gay marriage, the simple thing to do is not marry one…

SMDH

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-=[ Guilt ]=-
Love and guilt cannot coexist,
and to accept one is to deny the other.
-- A Course in Miracles

Feeling guilty is just another way to rationalize behavior that defeats your happiness. Feeling guilty is an indulgence – a selfish and twisted way for you to continue beating yourself into the insanity of committing the same actions and expecting different results.

I once offered forgiveness to an individual who had wronged me and her initial response was to tell me how it cut her to the heart. She went on how nice I was (I’m not), blah blah blah. Her eventual response was silence. Years later, I ran into her by chance on the street and she began to cry. She told me that she had just come from her therapist and that she had been talking about me – about how she squandered what could’ve been something special and beautiful. How she always pushed what was good and decent away. She was so beside herself, all I could do was give her a hug and assure her everything would be all right.

I have a funny feeling I’ve become the subject of too many therapeutic sessions. For the record, I don’t want to be anyone’s therapist. All I want is for you to wrap your legs around my waist in lustful entanglement. *grin*

The sacred offering of forgiveness is not about allowing someone to take advantage of you. Few people know that forgiveness -- true forgiveness -- must be first cultivated internally before it could be given away. Once you forgive yourself, you come to the full realization that there is no “other” to forgive. Ironically, forgiveness is probably one of the most selfish of acts.

If you commit a wrong against me, my interest is in helping you grow out of that mode of living. Most people would rather continue to feel guilty than to actually grow. True growth is the process of becoming willing to have defects of character removed. It’s not even about having them removed! It’s about becoming willing to have defects of character removed. When you become willing, you shed the guilt and start doing the work. Lying, cheating, dishonesty, the whole cast of character defects -- become fodder for your growth:

Yes, I lied to you, this was why, and I want to stop. And I because I love you, I want to work with you so that we can become truly intimate and loving.

When you feel guilt, you’re in the grips of your ego. Guilt isn’t about someone else, it is about you because only your ego can experience guilt. Guilt will always disrupt your growth, will always sabotage you, and will always compel you to make the same mistakes.

You will be treated like shit, because guilt demands that you should be treated like shit. You will meet assholes who will defile you because your guilt demands it.

The end of your guilt will never come as long as you buy into the notion that there is a reason for it. For you to be released from guilt you must first learn that guilt is insanity; it always is and always has been and will always be. Guilt has neither reason nor rhyme.

And here’s why:

Guilt asks only for punishment and punish you will be – always. You will be punished and be lost in the world of illusions and shadows. The Ex wants to be punished. She doesn’t understand kindness. She’s not too different from many women and men I know. Be nice to them and they will run away. But if you want them to call you, or to fuck them, treat them like shit and they will be clamoring for more punishment.

I can’t do that – I’ve never been able to do that – to manipulate fear and guilt for sexual gratification. It isn’t worth my peace of mind. Like other women I know, the Ex replays the scene: she disappears for a little while, suffers some more, and then somewhere in her mind, she remembers the light and calls me. She suffers a lot. As do many of us... Maybe one day she will come to the realization that she does not have to suffer needlessly. I do not know. All I can do is keep an open heart.

A mind without guilt cannot suffer. Your freedom -- indeed, your very salvation -- depends on your escape from the self-made prison of guilt.

Love,

Eddie

Ho's and The Shift

¡Hola! Everybody...
Today is “National Ho Day,” happy Ho Day everybody!

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-=[ The Shift ]=-

“Perception is everything.”

I just recently played a board game I bought on a whim with a group of friends. It’s called “Shift” (see the Shift website to play the demo) and it’s not your run-of-the-mill board game. It's actually a psychological game based on the work found in the totally amazing A Course in Miracles. In case you’re not aware yet, many of the better known self-help gurus have co-opted much from ACIM. For me, ACIM is what Christianity would look like if JC were around today.

Essentially, ACIM (as well as many other spiritual traditions) states that all of our actions either come from fear or love. The whole purpose of life is to move from fear-based reactions to a life based on love.

Quite simple, right? ... LOL!

Of course many reading this will immediately go into an internal discourse on what I just wrote, in the process missing out entirely on the message. This is ok, I still love you and the rest of us Ho’s will patiently wait until you actually get it and celebrate with you when you finally drop the defenses. *grin*

And that’s what the board game is all about: it’s moving your piece from the starting point (everyone starts off at “Fear”) to the end point, “Love.” Along the way you have to drop at least three defenses (letting go of our defenses is how you go about dropping the Fear). It’s actually a lot of fun because it integrates the combined wisdom of great figures in history such as the Buddha, Gandhi, Martin Luther King, jr. and more. The folks over at Shift also used a stand-up comedian to take some of these concepts and make them more fun. So, there are lots of opportunities to laugh.

Sometimes our happiness hinges on the simplest, subtlest shift in perception. For example, some see a sunset and immediately become reflective, appreciative, and in awe of the power and beauty inherent in all of Creation, while others see a sunset and immediately think, “Man, where did the day go!” Some people will experience a spilled drink as a major catastrophe, and then blame everyone from the bartender to their mother for the incident. Someone else will experience the same incident and shrug it off or even laugh about it.

The thing is that we experience these emotions as real, factual, immutable. It’s as if our emotions are who we are, as if we were fixed, solid entities. We even take pride in the cynical perception that “life sucks” and dismiss those who seem happy as simpletons, or as people who are out of touch with reality. A simple shift can change all of that, but while the shift is simple enough, we’re complicated creatures and it takes more than insight to effect this shift.

It’s not all in the head, folks. I have a friend who likes to brag that he’s been in therapy for years. I tell him, much to his displeasure, that he should sue his therapist(s). LOL! It’s not that therapy doesn’t work; it’s that insight alone doesn’t work. Psychological work is important, but if you’re not breaking new ground it’s a lot like rearranging old furniture.

Try -- just TRY -- to entertain the idea that all you ever really need really does exist right here right now, in this very life. Just for today. I promise you, you can pick up your defenses and problems and sadnesses tomorrow, I have it on good authority they will still be there waiting for you.

Who loves you?

Eddie (Hallway Ho’ and certified 4th degree Ho’ Hopper)