Motherhood Mondays: 8 gift ideas for new parents

My lovelies, one of the questions readers most often ask is what to give friends who just had a baby. So, I'd like to share eight gifts for new parents. These ideas aren't wacky or offbeat, but they are gifts that parents will adore. (And I'd love to hear your thoughts, too!) Here goes...

Gifts you can mail:

1. A cuddly robe. As a new parent, when you get up (multiple times) in the middle of the night, or at the crack of dawn, it's wonderful to have a cozy robe to wrap around yourself. Alex has this navy-and-green one, I have this one, and this striped one is adorable.
2. Massages. Alex and I went for a couples massage (at a cheap walk-in massage place near our house) three weeks after Toby was born. It was honestly the best massage of my life; I still remember how incredibly good it felt. You're so sleepy and your muscles are sore, and it was just wonderful. I remember half falling asleep, which felt dreamy and peaceful. (TMI: My boobs leaked milk on the massage table. After we left, the massage therapist must have been like, What the...? :)
3. Your favorite children's book. New babies are soooooo sleepy, and, to an (impatient) new mama, any sort of playful interaction can seem like a thousand years away. So, I loved one evening when a friend came over with his favorite children's books. It made me so excited for the years ahead with Toby! (Growing up, I loved Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, Roald Dahl and Amelia Bedelia, and here are Toby's favorites.)
4. Chocolate-covered strawberries! It sounds kind of random, but chocolate-covered strawberries make a surprisingly wonderful new-mom gift. When Toby was born, my friend Lina sent me a dozen, and I just about died and went to heaven. They were rich and decadent, but also fresh and healthy. She told me they were her favorite gift when she was a new mom, and once I mentioned them in conversation to other new moms, they would all pipe up. ("Euphoric," said Abbey. "The best," said Megan. "Perfect," said Samantha.)
5. An adorable outfit. We had stocked up with cheap basic onesies for Toby, so when friends would bring over adorable outfits for him (that we wouldn't have splurged on ourselves), we were over the moon! I especially love Winter Water Factory.
6. Baby notepads. Many new moms (myself included) find it helpful to record when your baby eats and naps and all of those sweet things, so you can keep track of your emerging schedule. A personalized notepad with her baby's adorable photo would be an endearing and useful gift for a new mama.
Gifts to give in person:

7. Cooking. Food of any kind. When Toby was a newborn, Alex and I were so, so grateful when friends would come over with soups, fresh salads, sandwiches, homemade cookies...It felt delicious and nourishing. (A handy tip: If your friend is breastfeeding, leave out garlic and raw onions, since those ingredients can make newborn babies fussy.)

8. Cleaning up the house. I literally teared up when a friend came over and, without asking, went into the kitchen and did all our dishes. It's so wonderful for people to help around the house when you're a new parent! You just never get to those things. If a friend came over and swept the kitchen floor, did a load of laundry, changed the bedsheets, replaced the toilet paper, and did the dishes, it would be such a joy and gift to the overwhelmed new parents.

A final tip: The gift of no pressure. When Toby was brand new, my good friend in California wrote a lovely congratulatory email to me, and at the end, she said, "Don't respond, go and be with your baby." And it felt SO good to know that I didn't have to do anything but read her lovely words and then turn off the computer. So, consider, at the end of any emails or with gifts that you send, including the words, "No need to respond" or "Don't write a thank-you note. Congratulations again!"

What would you recommend as a gift for friends with new babies? New moms and dads, what gifts do you remember really adoring? I would love to hear your thoughts!

P.S. A beautiful ring for mamas.
P.P.S. Speaking of books, the fantastic non-profit Milk + Bookies provides books to underprivileged children. Read more here.

(Top photo of Jora; dishes photo by Liv Dueck)

Motherhood Mondays: Sleeping in Denmark (this made my jaw drop!)

We talked last week about taking kids outside to play every single day, even in cold weather. Well, listen to this...
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Motherhood Mondays: Being outside

I really, really, really don't like winter. Grey skies and snowy streets make you feel cooped up, and I'm already getting nervous about having a busy energetic walking baby boy indoors! So, I have a plan...
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Motherhood Mondays: 10 favorite bedtime stories

Let's talk about books! This past year, Toby and I read tons of bedtime stories, and he gravitated toward a handful of special favorites. (He's very opinionated!) Here are ten books we've love reading most...
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Motherhood Mondays: Alex's side of the birth story

Now that it's been more than a year since Toby's birth, and our second wedding anniversary is around the corner, I thought I'd finally ask Alex to share his side of our birth story. I'm always really curious about what it's like for dads, whether they're coaching breathing, getting their hands tightly squeezed or pacing the waiting room. So, below, Alex shares his thoughts... :)
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Motherhood Mondays: What to register for your new baby

Before Toby was born, I felt totally overwhelmed by all the choices of baby products. I had no idea what to buy or where to shop or what we'd really need. (I remember bursting into tears to Alex one night on our way to dinner!) My wish was just to know exactly what other parents were buying for their babies, but, despite tons of research, I couldn't find a full registry list anywhere online. I was bewildered.

So, my darlings, now that Toby is here, I'd LOVE to share a complete list of the things we bought when he was a newborn. I wrote down every single thing (big and small), so you could literally get this list and be done with it. Or, of course, add/subtract as you see fit.

Congratulations to all new parents! Hope this guide is helpful. xoxo

OK, here goes...
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Motherhood Mondays: A baby's 10 favorite things

Babies fall in love with the most random things. After reading this great post, I decided to photograph Toby's top ten toys. First up: A wooden car.
House keys. (We bought him a pair of toy keys, but he will not be fooled.)
A NYC counting book with pizza and taxis. (Note the chewed-on edges.)
My lemon squeezer.
A MetroCard! Bendy!
Rubber duckies: one friendly, one elegant.
Remotes. Oh, remotes.
Pens.
Old glasses.
Seriously, what is it about Elmo? He is like a rock star in the baby world.

Mamas, what random things does your baby love?

P.S. Another Motherhood Monday post coming up. xo

Motherhood Mondays: On boobs. :)

My darlings, this may be a little intimate, but let's talk about breasts! After the jump, of course...
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Motherhood Mondays: How to talk to little girls

This Saturday, Toby and I were riding the bus downtown, when a six-year-old girl sat down next to us. She was wearing a white dress and sparkly red flats, and her blonde hair was twisted into a braid. My first instinct was to compliment her hairstyle, but I stopped myself...
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Motherhood Mondays: The best book...

My lovelies, have you read the book Operating Instructions? I'm reading it right now, and it's quickly soaring to the top of my list of favorite books.

The brilliant Anne Lamott tells the story of her first year as a mother to a sweet chubby baby boy; she was single, 35 and a recovering alcoholic. Her honest, smart and up-roaringly hilarious descriptions of new motherhood--including both meltdowns and sacred moments--made me laugh out loud and tear up. I LOVED this book!

Have you read it? What did you think? (I just ordered her book Bird by Bird, too.) What other books are you reading? I'd love to hear!

P.S. One more Motherhood Monday post coming up...

Motherhood Mondays: Would you find out if you were having a boy or a girl, or keep it a surprise?

My darlings, if you were pregnant, would you want to find out if you were having a boy or a girl, or would you keep it a surprise?

When I was pregnant with Toby, I was on pins and needles; I would never have had the willpower to wait to find out the baby's sex. I'm a huge gossip by nature (never tell me a secret!), and I wouldn't have been able to wait patiently for nine whole months for the gender reveal. (Funnily enough, though, if we have another baby, I think I would want to wait, just to try it both ways! Can you imagine how exciting it would be while you were in labor?)

Here's a cute video of a couple finding out their baby's sex. They asked their doctor to write down "boy" or "girl," and without looking, they gave the piece of paper to a baker. Then the baker made a cake—with either blue cake for a boy, or pink cake for a girl—covered with white icing. Finally, that night, the couple invited friends and family over while they cut the cake...and revealed the cake color!

What about you, my lovelies? Would you prefer to wait, or would want to find out? If you have kids, did you know their sexes ahead of time? I'm so curious...

P.S. Do you secretly hope for either a boy or a girl? (I did!)

(Photo by Lazareva Valeria; video by Tupelo Honey)

Motherhood Mondays: The sweetest book

Have you seen My Quotable Kid? The book gives you a place to write down the funny, sweet things your child says and save them forever. What a brilliant idea.

P.S. I just bought one for Toby and am excited for him to get talking :)

(Via Unruly Little Things)

My balance of work/baby/life

My lovelies, last week, seven amazing mothers shared how they juggle work/life, including the ups and downs. It's so wonderful to be honest and normalize what that all mothers are going through. Thank you again to those brave and lovely bloggers!

Now I'd love to share my own juggle post. I have to admit, it feels strange to be sharing my own routine because I didn't have a decent schedule figured out for a long time. After Toby was born, it took me months to figure out a solid schedule that worked well for us, and I'm still experimenting and tweaking!

OK, my darlings, here goes....
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Motherhood Mondays: 8 confessions of a new dad

For today's second Motherhood Monday post, I'd love to talk about new fatherhood. On the three-hour drive home from the beach this weekend, Alex and I started talking about parenthood, and he revealed a few funny and surprising thoughts on our first year with a baby. Here were his eight confessions, in his own words, below...
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Salt-Water sandals

My darlings, another Motherhood Monday post is coming up (about husbands!), but in the meantime, I wanted to share these sandals for little dudes. Every child in our neighborhood wears Salt-Water sandals, which are adorable, comfy and tough enough for city streets, grass parks, sandy beaches, and, of course, salty water. Toby just got his first little pair, and we're loving them already.

Mamas, have you ever tried them? What other children's shoes do you swear by? xo

P.S. Funnily enough, the sandals are also becoming cool for grown-ups. We spotted some chicer-than-chic women wearing them in the Hamptons!
(Bottom photo by Fashion is Spinach)

Motherhood Mondays: A funny tip about sex...

My darlings, for this Motherhood Monday post, let's talk about...sex! Recently I heard a genius tip about how to have a sexy date night with your husband. Want to hear?

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Motherhood Mondays: Ten tips for traveling with a baby

For today's Motherhood Monday post, I'd love to talk about traveling with a baby (and hear your tips). We just got back from a week in San Francisco, and we also took Toby to California last Christmas. During those long trips, we learned a few things (on the fly!) that helped us travel more smoothly and with fewer freak-outs. :) Here are 10 things that we discovered make traveling with a baby much easier...
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My favorite baby carrier

My sweets, hope you had a wonderful weekend! We're back in New York now, but already missing San Francisco (and shrimp tacos). Photos coming up!

Meanwhile, I'd love to do two Motherhood Monday posts today. First up, have you ever worn a baby carrier? The comfiest one I've found (by far) is the Ergo, $135, which is really easy to put on. It's great to walk around the city (and into stores) while wearing Toby; I wear him on the front, so we can chit-chat, and he's always more mellow than when he's in the stroller.

So I was psyched to see that the Ergo just got a makeover. I have the sea green color (which I like), but they're now offering it in beautiful fabrics, like this lovely one above. Wouldn't it add such a pretty touch to an outfit? I'm trying to rationalize buying one for the summer. :)

P.S. 10 things to wear as a nursing mother.

(Via Stroller Traffic)

Motherhood Mondays: Do you kiss your babies on the mouth? Or your parents?

On this Motherhood Monday, I'd love to talk about kissing babies.

First, here's a little story: When I was sixteen, we went to visit my grandparents in England. One night, I was saying good night to my grandfather. "Good night, Dilly," I said, standing next to his armchair, and then I leaned over and gave him a peck on the mouth. We had always kissed my parents on the lips, and I figured that was appropriate. I thought it was just what you did!

"Oh, yes, uh, well, Joanna," he said, flustered and almost dropping his whisky. Then he pulled himself together and looked up at me. "You know, I always say, 'A man should kiss his father on the forehead, kiss his friends and family on the cheek, and kiss his wife on the lips.'"

Oh, I thought, blushing a shade of lobster red. Good to know. I was mortified! After that, I stuck to cheek-kisses for pretty much everyone (even high-school boyfriends, but that's another story).

Fast forward fifteen years: Now that I have my own baby, I can't help kissing him all over the face, including his slobbery mouth. I basically make out with him. :) Nothing feels better than drool-y kisses from a baby. It feels instinctual. And I remember seeing a French movie years ago where the mother kissed her five-year-old daughter on the mouth, and it seemed sweet and natural (and chic:).

Funnily enough, though, Alex feels differently. I remember the day after Toby was born, we were still in the hospital, and I turned to Alex and said, "Oh, you have to kiss him on the mouth, it feels so good, you have to try it," and Alex was like, "No, thanks, I'll kiss him right here...on the top of the head." I teased him good-naturedly but, a year later, he's still rocking the forehead peck.

So, I'm curious: Do you kiss your babies on the mouth? What about older children? Was there an age where you stopped? Have you ever kissed your parents on the mouth? Do you think it's lovely or entirely inappropriate? I would LOVE to hear your thoughts!

(Top photo of Toby; bottom photos by Anais and Alain)

Motherhood Mondays: On babysitters

My lovelies, for this Motherhood Monday, let's talk about babysitters.

Our very first babysitter was Naudia, who is still with us. (In the photo above, she's reading Toby his favorite story--he was only 3 months old.)

One thing that really surprised me was how hard it was to leave Toby with a babysitter for the first time. (How old were your babies when you first got a babysitter?) For us, Toby was two months old. Alex and I had planned to go to lunch and take a bike ride, and Naudia came over to babysit. But as soon as we walked out the door, I wanted to turn around and walk right back in. (My heart was racing!) Alex encouraged me to take a break and enticed me with the promise of roast chicken and fries at a nearby French bistro. I downed a glass of wine during lunch to calm my nerves and then took a wobbly bike ride while obsessing about Toby the entire time. I must have texted Naudia 1,000 times during our three-hour date! It's funny because I knew rationally that nothing bad was going to happen, but I felt so anxious--my heart was in my throat. As a new mom, my emotions were so heightened. (Did you mamas feel the same?)

Thankfully, each consecutive time that Alex and I went out, I felt more and more comfortable, and I'm so glad that Alex encouraged me. You don't always realize how much you need a break until you take one. I would return home a much more relaxed, refreshed and reinvigorated mother. (And now, of course, it's all much easier now that Toby's older!)

Nowadays Naudia is like part of our family. We completely adore her. She now babysits Toby while I work from home. When she arrives in the morning, Toby peeks over the banister and yelps and kicks with excitement. She has cute nicknames for him, takes him on "dates", and she even has his photo as her phone's wallpaper. And it's funny how quickly the walls break down when someone works in your home: She's seen Alex and me half asleep, in our pajamas (and one embarrassing morning--when Alex didn't realize that she had arrived yet--without pajamas), with messy hair, without makeup, worrying, laughing, even crying. Since I work from home in our teeny apartment, we're around each other so much; it's such an intimate relationship. It's hard to imagine ever not having her in our lives!

(By the way, years ago, I read a fascinating book called Searching for Mary Poppins, which features a collection of mothers' essays about the complex relationship between mothers and nannies. I'd highly recommend it.)

I'm so curious: Have you babysat before? If you're a mom, do you like your babysitters? Where did you find them? Have you ever had not-so-great babysitting experience? I would love to hear...
(Naudia giving Toby his very first massage. She kept saying, "He's found his utopia!":)

P.S. More about motherhood, pregnancy and babies.