Salon writer absolutely nails the most likely reason that Sarah Palin will NEVER throw her hat in the ring.

"Oh hell no, I'm not jumping in! I'm just screwing with you people!"

Courtesy of Salon:

The safe bet remains that Sarah Palin is simply engaged in a long and tiresome tease. Every few weeks comes some new sign of her supposedly imminent entry into the GOP presidential race, but nothing ever seems to happen. 

For the latest flurry of speculation, we can thank Karl Rove, who used several television appearances last weekend to argue that "I think she gets in" and to suggest that Palin's scheduled appearance at a Sept. 3 Tea Party event in Iowa might double as a campaign launch. Like each one that's come before it, chances are that this eruption will soon die down without amounting to anything. Rove may just have been trying to spoil the campaign rollout of his old nemesis, Rick Perry, and Palin is now tamping down the speculation. 

Which is sort of a shame. Because if you're tired of all of this, and if you're tired of all of the media oxygen that the former half-term Alaska governor still manages to consume, then you really should be hoping that Palin actually does get into the race: It may be the best way of making her disappear for good. 

Why? Because a presidential campaign would almost certainly end in defeat for Palin. And not just any kind of defeat -- epic, humiliating defeat, the sort of disaster that might once and for all convince the political and media worlds that the empress has no clothes. 

If she jumped in, polls would initially show her in contention, but she'd be running a structure- and discipline-free campaign with no support from GOP opinion-shapers and on a message that really isn't unique. Republican voters who haven't yet figured it out would realize she's not a viable option and abandon her for a candidate who seems to have a better chance. If she were to then suffer humiliating defeats in Iowa and New Hampshire, Palin might suddenly find that the media isn't nearly as interested in her every tweet and Facebook post as it once was. 

In other words, those who just want her to go away should consider a Palin presidential campaign an investment: You'd have to deal with a few weeks (or maybe even months) of saturation coverage, but there'd be a good chance it would all end with Palin's presence in our lives severely and permanently diminished.

Brilliant!  This is EXACTLY what I have been thinking for quite some time now.

I do not give Ms. Palin too much credit for her intelligence, but I DO believe she has good instincts when it comes to keeping her brand alive and understanding the reality of her limitations.

Sister Sarah KNOWS she cannot stand on the stage and debate the other GOP hopefuls. And she knows that doing so will reveal her complete lack of knowledge about the things a President needs to know, and forever remove her ability to bullshit her followers into thinking she has what it takes to do that job.

And once the political fantasies of the Palin-bots have been crushed under the heavy heel of reality, why would they pay ANY attention to her ever again?


Essentially, just like this article states, Palin would be "permanently diminished," in a way that perhaps even Joe, or Levi, or Fred's books could never fully accomplish. Remember this would be MILLIONS of Americans watching her grasping for facts, failing to adequately understand the question, and sweating like a Sumo wrestler while her whole world crumbled around her.

It might make for some of the most compelling political theater we have seen in decades, but it is VERY unlikely to EVER happen.

What is the definition of insanity again?

I believe it was Albert Einstein who said "Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

With that definition in mind, check out the frenzy of activity over at this Palin-bot site:

Texas Organize4Palin volunteers have arranged a charter bus trip to attend Tea Party of America’s “Restoring America” rally in Indianola, Iowa, on Saturday September 3rd. 

Governor Sarah Palin will be the keynote speaker at this event and many Palin supporters believe this will be the very day she will declare her candidacy for the 2012 election to defeat President Barack Obama.

Keep in mind that these same people were also CONVINCED Palin would throw her hat into the ring during her last book tour, and again when Glenn Beck came to Anchorage, and yet again during the premiere of "The Undefeated," and at various other times too numerous to mention.

Like miniature poodles running for the door every time they think they hear approaching footsteps, these idiots become excited every time Palin clears her throat, convinced that THIS time she will really do what they are breathlessly waiting on pins and needles for her to do.

What they still fail to realize, even though I have been selflessly attempting to educate them for almost three years now, is that Palin IS doing what MOST of us expect her to do.  Which is to continue faking a run for the office of President of the United States, while teasing these idiots into ponying up even more money for the opportunity to once again be disappointed that she did not declare.

Right now this whole thing seems like a crazy experiment in stubborn endurance, the goal of which is to see how long these people will dangle on the line with only a brief appearance here, or a pseudo political advertisement there to give them hope.

As much as I personally dislike what Palin is doing to these people, I have to admit that I find myself almost impressed that she has managed to successfully string along a portion of her once much larger group of supporters for all of this time. I don't know exactly what it says about her, or them, or celebrity-politics in general, but it has lasted far longer than I would have thought possible even a year ago.

And I once again have to say that I worry about the fragile emotional condition that will surely be the result once she finally cuts these people loose.

Sarah Palin and the fastest growing baby bump in the west!

For all of you who are still clinging to the idea that somehow Palin WAS pregnant, and that the photographic evidence suggesting that she wasn't is not compelling enough, I would like you to explain this.

Image courtesy of my friend Emrysa.

It does not take a doctor, a nurse, or even just a person who has been pregnant, to recognize that a fetus simply does not develop THAT quickly in such short amount of time.

As evident from my post yesterday, Palin appeared to be no more than a few months pregnant (With, apparently, Sponge Bob Squarebaby) on March 26, 2008, and then suddenly on April 13, 2008, ballooned up to the image you see on the right.

I think what is obvious is that Palin was simply winging the fake pregnancy thing at first, and then realized that she needed a more convincing disguise to fool the lazy reporters, and constituents she might bump into further down the line, so she purchased something a little more convincing to wear toward the end of her incredibly short "pregnancy."

Does anybody disagree, or think they have a better theory?

If so, I would love to hear it.

Like mother, like daughter. Only not! Updated!

Here is a composite showing Sarah Palin and her daughter Bristol both at 32 weeks pregnant.

As you can see Bristol is glowing with pride and seemingly bursting with the joy of impending childbirth.

As for Sarah...well...um..well...wait, is she really supposed to be 32 weeks pregnant there?

Yep, she sure is! (As a matter of fact eighteen days from the day that picture was taken she would "give birth," albeit a month or so early, to her fifth child.

Hmmm, well something is just not right here. Perhaps I am wrong about how far along Bristol is in that picture.  Let''s check. (Just hit the "click to look inside" icon at the top of Bristol's book to investigate for yourself.)

Nope, according to Bristol's very own book, that is definitely her at 32 weeks.

So here we have a teen mom, pregnant with her very first baby (Actually the jury is still out on that one.), looking at least twice as pregnant as her mother, who is supposedly just as far along with her FIFTH child.

Now I am just a guy, which renders me biologically predisposed to be completely ignorant about "girl stuff," but from what I understand women simply do NOT get smaller with each pregnancy.  In fact they tend to get much larger, much faster.

So seeing this comparison shot of Bristol and her mother side by side, certainly adds even more evidence to support the premise that Sarah Palin faked her last pregnancy, and is NOT the biological mother of Trig Paxson Van Palin.

Anybody care to disagree? And if so, please elaborate on your reasoning, because I am DYING to hear what you have left in your arsenal that could be used to defend this woman's version of events.

Update: Since so many people are asking for it, here is the picture of an obviously pregnant Sarah Palin during either her first or second pregnancy.

There is no date on this picture so there is no telling how far along Palin is, but I would venture to guess she is in her eighth or ninth month of pregnancy.
However she certainly did not get that big in just a handful of weeks like she claims she did in her last "pregnancy." And her belly in this photo looks VERY similar to the one that Bristol is sporting in the composite up above.

Don'tcha think?

Good Morning America's Robin Roberts has a request before her big interview with Bristol Palin tomorrow morning.

From Robin Roberts Twitter account:

Happy Weekend! I'm talking w/ Bristol Palin tmrw about her new book. Interview will air Mon on @GMA. Do you have any questions for Bristol?
19 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry®

Well gang I don't know about you but I think we should oblige Ms. Roberts.

This is what I sent:

@RobinRoberts @GMA Yes ask her to clarify her statement that Levi got her drunk and stole her virginity.
3 hours ago via web

I would REALLY like for Bristol to continue making this accusation against Levi, until he gets pissed off enough to finally fight back.

If you have any ideas for questions, please click the link at the top and let this "journalist" know what she SHOULD be asking this lying Palin progeny.