Showing posts with label creative writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label creative writing. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

You Gotta Be Ready

¡Hola! Everybody...
Going through an anthology on writing and social action, I came across the following. It's a reminder that writing from the heart first requires us to learn how to listen, how to hear other truths, to learn to hear the vulnerable honesty of those who "take your word" that you want to stand with them and bear witness. The truth in this piece is powerful, and it reminded me the work I am fortunate enough to engage. If this doesn’t touch you, you have no soul.

* * *

-=[ Creative Writing and Social Action ]=-

You Gotta Be Ready for Some Serious Truth to Be Spoken

by Debra Busman


To teach Creative Writing and Social Action means you gotta be ready for some serious truth to be spoken. When you ask students to break silence, to bear witness, to connect the meaning of their own personal lives within the larger societal frame, you gotta be ready for the truths that fly out, crawl out, peep out, and scream out from underneath the thick walls of practiced silence. You gotta be ready for stories of border crossings, coyotes and cops, night beatings, wife beatings, baby beatings, date rapes, daddy rapes, gunshots and chemo, pesticides, HIV, AZT, protease inhibitors, and the pink-cheeked 19-year-old who says, “Hey, next Tuesday I’ll have five years clean and sober; can we have cake in class?” You gotta be ready for stories that start out, “Ese pinche Columbus didn’t have no stinkin’ green card.” You gotta be ready for the straight A student who has to leave school because her INS paperwork hasn’t come through yet, and the social security number she gave at registration was the first nine numbers that came to her mind, and she cannot get financial aid because she is “illegal.”

To teach Creative Writing and Social Action means you gotta be ready for all the stories, whether you want to hear them or not. When you ask students to speak the truths of their lives, you gotta be ready for the Stanford-bound future teacher of America who writes about being kicked out of the Navy for being too racist. You gotta be ready for the sweet-faced, curly-haired lover of Jesus who writes stories of his days as a violent skinhead, beating up Blacks, Jews, and queers. You gotta be ready for the stories the young man cannot share in class, scribbles slid under your office door, 4:30 a.m. emails, telling of his father’s rage, the belt, the whiskey, the steel pipe slammed down hard on the thin nine-year-old boy body. The father’s last words, before he left the child cowering in the corner, his back broken in two places: “Be a man, you pussy. I better not see you cry.”

To teach Creative Writing and Social Action means you gotta be ready for war stories quite unlike those CNN sound bites of “precision bombs” and “surgical air strikes” spoon fed into the comfort of our living room TV sets during Desert Storm. You gotta be ready for the glassy-eyed, refer-smoking closeted ex-GI to suddenly bust out with long held stories of ‘friendly fire’ and ‘collateral damage,’ stories told through choked sobs about retrieving the remains of his eight buddies, all under 20 years old, from their burned out carcass of a tank, bombed the night before by ‘an American mistake.’ You gotta be ready when he tells the class, “Man, you guys gotta know, war is not the fuckin’ video game you think it is,” when he tells stories of standing guard duty with no ammunition, stories of surrendering Iraqi soldiers shot en masse, thumbs and ears cut off for souvenirs, bodies bulldozed into shallow sand graves.

To teach Creative Writing and Social Action means you gotta be ready for these stories to share classroom space with the one by the retired prison guard, now a minister and a college student, who writes of his experience as a young African American police officer on the scene with five white sheriffs in 1960s rural Mississippi when a 17-year old gas station robbery suspect, a young Black man whose family he knew, was thrown in the back of a squad car, handcuffed, and locked inside with a 120-pound German Shepherd police dog that was ordered to attack. then, when the writer describes the ensuing screams, beer bellies, spit, and cigars, the white laughter, the blood, the horrific carnage told 40 years later with such immediacy and precision, you can only hold your heart and say, “Oh good lord, why did I ever stress the importance of using sensory details, concrete language, and vivid imagery?”

To teach Creative Writing and Social Action means you gotta be ready to hear the stories held in private silence the past four years by a young woman working in the local Rape Crisis Center, stories about rape, domestic violence, child sexual abuse -- things she says she didn’t think you were “supposed to talk about in college,” at least not until she took a women’s studies class and Intro to Creative Writing. It means you gotta be ready for the young Japanese-American student who kind of drifts through class, quiet and respectful, suddenly shocked into consciousness by the poetry of Janice Mirikitani, suddenly alive and angry and writing poem after poem about Executive Order 9066, model minorities, identity, resistance and rice, practically busting down your office door one day in excitement to tell you he finally realized what he would write his senior paper on. “The camps.” he says. “I’m going to write about the camps. Both my grandmothers were sent to internment camps. I’m going to interview them over break, get their stories, get the truth of my history.” Then you gotta be ready when he slumps in your office following spring break, crestfallen. “They wouldn’t talk about it,” he says. “They told me everything else, all about their lives before the war, how they decorated their houses, how they fell in love with their husbands; they told me all about my parents when they were babies, about their family businesses. But they wouldn’t talk about the camps. They just shut up, looked at me funny, and said, ‘There is nothing to say.’ It’s weird, it scared me. Like whenever I brought it up, they just turned into other people, like they weren’t my grandmas anymore. They are 80 years-old. I don’t want to hurt them, so I had to stop asking. What am I going to do? My project is ruined. I have no stories.” And I have to tell him, “No, your project is not ruined. There are worlds within those silences. Your story is just beginning.”

To teach Creative Writing and Social Action means you gotta be ready for the young blonde girl from a private high school in Sacramento’s suburbs who rolls her Mabeline eyes the first day of class and says, “Is this going to be one of those course where they try that multicultural crap down your throat?” the same girl who, weeks later sits weeping in class, heart and mind open, listening to shared stories of INS thugs and deported grandfathers and pesticide-poisoned baby boomers, wheezing from asthma. Stories about cousins orphaned by police bombs dropped on fellow family MOVE members, seven- and nine-year-old brother and sister taken from their home, sitting in the Philadelphia police station, surrounded by cops watching the bombing live and in color on TV news, laughing, telling the children, “See those flames. See those tanks. That’s your daddy inside there. That’s your daddy we finally got right where he belongs.” And the young, blonde, private-high-school student, who truly believed California always belonged to the United States and that racism ended with the abolition of slavery, or at the very least after Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I have a dream” speech, turns her face to the class, Mabeline running down her cheeks, and says, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. They never taught me about any of this. I’m so sorry. I just never knew.” And her workshop buddy, Aisha, the self-described Pan Africanist revolutionary, takes the girl in her arms, rocks her softly. And Carlos, sitting in the back, can’t help but shake his head, muttering: “Damn. And they got the nerve to tell me that my people are ‘under-prepared’ for college.”

To teach Creative Writing and Social Action means you gotta be ready for the student who, having just listened to your best rap on the wonders of metaphoric imagery, says, “You know, Professor Busman, I mean I don’t mean no disrespect or nothing, but, you know, all that stuff you been saying about metaphors and similes and shit, I mean, it’s cool and everything, and I can see it working good in some poems, but my poem, you know, when I talk about that cop smashing the side of Bobby’s skull with his stick, well, I don’t want people to think that that noise sounds like anything other than the sound of a motherfuckin’ pig’s billy club crackin’ up against the side of brother’s head. I mean that’s the sound. It don’t sound like nothing else. I don’t want people thinking it sounds like something else. And, that line where I put my fist into that concrete wall out behind County General, I don’t want people thinking that that feels like anything other than a fist into a concrete wall. Sometimes things ain’t ‘like’ anything else; they just are what they are and the reader just gonna have to deal with it. You know what I’m saying?”

To teach Creative Writing and Social Action means that you gotta be ready to learn at least fifteen times more than whatever it is you think you have to teach. It means you gotta be ready to accept the fact that you can never really be ready for all the confusion, the grief, and the wonder that enters the classroom when students take you at your word and believe you really do want to hear the full and messy truths of all their “wild and precious” lives.

Love,

Eddie

Monday, February 15, 2010

The Desert

¡Hola! Everybody...
Hope everybody had a great weekend! This is part of a short story I never finished (LOL).

* * *

-=[ Untitled ]=-


I find myself struggling: it’s a phase...

We’re driving through the desert of our early journey, and it is in the sands of my restless heart to which you make love. It’s the colors and tones within these barren passages that you court me, the reflection of the daylight between shadows, the dried parched terrain of this forbidden land -- dried mud and clay, your body now like a shimmering mirage of a long lost sacred garden.

I’m struggling between frustration and despair, and I want to fight, or run, or at the very least to resist. Slowly, painfully, I let the colors bleed. Mile after seemingly endless desert mile, with no horizon, I inch closer to the core of you -- the very mud and clay of the Earth. You took me down into the clay, through your own bared soul, and I saw you for the very first time in the desert of our early journey and fell in love with you -- again and again.

All Rights Reserved ©

Saturday, November 21, 2009

The Perfection of Cruelty

¡Hola! Everybody...
The following is based on true events...

* * *

-=[ The Wrenching ]=-

Cruelty and fear shake hands together.
-- Honoré de Blazac

Upriver from NYC’s borough of Manhattan lies Rikers Island -- the largest penal colony in the world. A fortress of the lost, vault of the doomed, the island of the dead. A warehouse of human bodies, like so much meat. Rikers Island is also one of the largest mental health facilities in the world -- though its essential purpose has very little to do with norms of behavior. The only way to enter is through a short narrow bridge. Some would call it the Bridge of Lost Souls.

The woman’s facility, officially the Rose M. Singer Center, is known as Rosie’s or Lesbian Island by those who live or work there. Many of the women, just arrested, are coming off drugs or crying about their children. Those going through withdrawals vomit from time to time, others sit rocking back and forth, sweating, weeping, chewing their bottom lips or fingernails.

Move your gaze across the grass being mowed by a handful of women in green uniforms and toward a compound of brick buildings, all of them in poor repair -- paint peeling, bricks needing repointing, sidewalks cracked. Walk past the women pushing laundry carts into Rosiie's proper where women in green state prison uniforms, either delusional or depressed, sit watching daytime television, rocking ceaselessly as a side effect of their medications, and continue forward, past women staring at you from behind bars, towards a section that awaits the most contradictory of populations.

There is a spotless nursery for women who have come to Rosie’s pregnant, or, less frequently (but not unheard of), those who have been impregnated in one of the “consensual” sexual liaisons that occur between male guards and the women. The purpose of which, for the women, include the procurement of food, drugs, cosmetics, feminine hygiene products, and, lest there be any confusion about affection, a welcome contrast to the flesh of another woman (though against the rules, that form of contact being easy to find; Rosie’s, all there know, is full of women kissing, hugging, tonguing, and finger-fucking each other). Finally, you come to where women have been bedded with their newborns (some having given birth while being shackled), where they have learned to nurse and feed and wipe and whisper their babies to sleep.

The hallway is dark and gloomy but the floor is spotless, gleaming from the daily buffing it receives. It is here where I sit waiting one unbearably hot and humid New York City summer day. Paying attention, I observe a ritual that takes place each time a woman comes to live in the prison nursery with her newborn, a ritual so utterly contrary to human nature, yet unremarkable in this place for its regularity, its bureaucratic numbness.

They are taking away another baby from its mother. I don’t want to see this, I think to myself, my gut tensing. But I continue watching, just close enough to see a baby boy being held by his mother one last time. The mother, Shannelle, can’t be more than nineteen, and her face literally glows with maternal love, a facial expression too advanced for such a young face I think to myself. The maternity ward administrator, a kindly looking elderly woman, watches too, as does the child welfare worker who is there to take the child. How long, I wonder, will they allow her to hold her baby.

Now Shannelle collapses in grief around her baby, who, unknowing, pats at a yellow barrette in her hair. Shannelle had come to Rosie’s pregnant, after she and her sister had gone out one night to buy candy and two men had come up and asked them where So-and-so lived. The girls, streetwise and nobody’s fools, expected an incentive for their trouble, and after a brief negotiation, walked the men over to the house in question, a distance of a mere block, and when they knocked on the door, the police were inside, having just arrested the inhabitants for cooking and selling crack. The two girls got different public defenders, one a realist, the other a fool. Shannelle was assigned the fool, a recent law graduate from Harvard. Her sister agreed to a plea, avoided a trial, and got a year. Shannelle’s lawyer convinced her that she was innocent and that he would mount an impassioned defense on her behalf, if she allowed him to take her case to trial.

It was the first time a white, college-educated male had shown an interest in her, and so though she felt some trepidation, she agreed to his proposition. The jury took forty minutes to find her guilty and the judge reluctantly sentenced her according to the harsh edicts of the Rockefeller mandatory minimum drug laws, which meant Shannelle received three years to life.

The nursing administrator signaled the child welfare worker that it was time for the removal. Shannelle crushes her son against herself, then looks up, eyes full. “I will just die,” she cries. “I can’t, I can’t” But her baby is gently lifted from her and placed in the arms of the waiting child welfare worker.

Don’t look anymore, I tell myself. And I am reminded I am in the House of the Dead, the years killing the women here as surely and painfully as unchecked cancer...

-- Eddie

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Impressions (Erotica)

¡Hola! Everybody...
It’s been a very busy week for me, with more work piling up in the foreseeable future. Some of it deals with some next steps career-wise. It’s mostly all very exciting. All this work leaves me with less time for writing... BTW, can someone explain to me how Obama’s advocating for the Olympics can be spun as a political setback? C’mon now!

The following shouldn’t be read by minors or people easily insulted by frank, open, sexual talk...

* * *

-=[ Impressions ]=-


My attention was focused on her, and I noticed a new, more controlled energy, one whose borders kept withdrawing from my own.

“Yes,” she said faintly. And that one word expressed everything she was feeling: fear, love, lust, want, desire -- all rolled into one syllable and it incited me.

“I love you,” I said, my hand inching higher. “And you love me.”

My thumb nudged the swell of her breast, rubbed slowly back and forth, a sleepy rhythm. Her head drooped to one side as if her attention had been attracted by a faint sound on the other side of the room, and I kissed the juncture where her neck and shoulder joined. The cool blue taste of peppermint soap and the warmth of her skin mixed on my tongue.

I looked deeply into her eyes as I undid her blouse. She started to say something, but it became only a sound that died in the back of her throat. I spread the halves of her blouse, bent to her breasts, nuzzled them, and kissed their tips, teasing the nipples hard. When I took one in my mouth, worked it gently with my teeth, she shuddered, and put her hands on the back of my head, guiding me.

“Wait,” she said. “Wait.”

But I was through waiting and drew her down on the edge of the bed, my hand moving to the swell of her belly, lower, feeling the softness beneath her clothes, knowing she was open, ready.

“Wait!” This time sharp, so I stopped thinking I had hurt her or had inadvertently trespassed some forbidden zone.

“Let me take this off,” and with that she discarded her panties, pulled off the covers of the bed and with a kiss invited me in with her. There under the covers of the blankets, in the half dark with air as still as held breath, I felt more connected to her, more alive. Her body was aglow with dampness, her eyes were gleams. I kneeled between her legs, bent lower and tasted her. Tasted her, exploring the folds of her cunt, lapping at her, imagining honey smearing my mouth. She began to move and I could tell how much she wanted this, how gloried it made her feel.

Her hips bucked, her legs clamped my head. Breath knocked out of her in hoarse gasps. The muscles of her stomach bunched, and she wrapped her hands in my hair, holding me immobile, as if I were to take my mouth away, or do anything more, she would break into pieces.

In her mind, there was a flurrying as of a million fish responding to a danger sign, scattering, their space filled by a cool current, a refreshing, tingling wash.

* * *

“Yes… ” she said.

The submissive demureness in her voice aroused me and I entered her. Obeying an impulse, I pushed into her mind as well, establishing a blazing mental circuit. Not knowing what I was doing, I pushed at it with all my strength. At the moment of contact I had an impression of two streams of crackling energy knitting together, entwining, tightening, forming a kind of liquid knot that grew increasingly complex, twisting in and of itself, and my focus became more limited to completing that knot, to finding its ultimate expression, until even that intent was swallowed into a blaze of sexuality.

Like a man clutching at a live wire, my thoughts sparking, conscious only of the voltage coursing through me.

My body was electrified, my movements seemingly following the twists and turns of the electric knot we were weaving inside each other’s heads, and from that point on, swearing to myself, I was aware of what was happening only in the lapses of that connection.

I would find myself battering her from behind, or pinning her wrists above her head, or that she had mounted me and was raking across my chest with her nails. On and on into the night…

Brutal, sweaty, animal sex.

* * *

Eddie

Monday, August 3, 2009

Monday Madness [The Desert]

¡Hola! Everybody...
You know it’s a good vacation when you cannot recollect the day of the week... LOL

The following is an excerpt... written a while back -- it’s a repost.

* * *

Photography: Thomas Sennett, Untitled, 1985

-=[ The Desert ]=-


I find myself struggling: it’s a phase -- as if we’re driving through the desert of our early journey, and it is in the sands of my restless heart to which you make love. It’s the colors and tones within these barren passages that you court me, the reflection of the daylight between shadows, the dried parched terrain of this forbidden land -- dried mud and clay, your body now like a shimmering mirage of a long lost secret garden.

I’m struggling between frustration and despair, and I want to fight, or run, or at the very least to resist. Slowly, painfully, I let the colors bleed. Mile after desert mile, seemingly endless, with no horizon, I inch closer to the essence of you -- the very mud and clay of the Earth. You took me down into the clay, through your own uncovered soul, and I saw you for the very first time in the desert of our early journey and fell in love with you -- again and again

* * *

Love,

Eddie

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Handshakes, Obsolescence & to Die Dreaming...

¡Hola! Everybody...
I was going to write about the lack of leadership, depth, direction and substance coming from the right these days. I mean, really: they’re making a fuss about Obama shaking Hugo Chavez’s hand?!! We’re no longer a super power! The armies of Ctico will overrun the South Bronx and civilization as we know it will know cease to exist! LOL

Perhaps the repugs forgot about this:


Or this?

Also please note that neither Saddam (who would use US-furnished mustard gas on his own people shortly after the above photo-op with Rumsfeld) and gorbachev were democratically elected, as Chavez is...

FWIW, I hope Obama reads the book, The Open Veins of Latin America, Chavez gave him; it’s one of the most powerful history books I have ever written. It’s also written by an internationally respected and award-winning journalist, Eduardo Galeano. In any case, I awoke a little late, so all I cab offer is the following...

* * *

-=[ To Die Dreaming…]=-

[As I noted earlier, I awoke late today and didn’t get a chance to write something new, but I always liked this snippet. It’s from a short story I wrote a while back... ]


… The thought of her beauty awakens me sometimes, from the middle of dreams I can’t remember. It’s not the image of her face, the softness of her skin, but just the sudden awareness of her total beauty -- that first strike before any of the details become clear -- that jolts me awake and leaves me longing on the broken shoals of my bed.

For just a moment, I’m upset she’s not here with me, but then the anger subsides into longing, and I stand and pace, haunting the darkness of my room, thinking of possibilities. Gradually, I come to the awareness that there’s no reason for anger, only choices. I ponder all this for what seems like hours and it’s the thought of her beauty that makes me lie back on my bed, weighing me down so that I plummet through the thin fabric of wake and sleep and drown in the middle of dreams I don’t remember…

Love,

Eddie

Monday, December 1, 2008

Morir Soñando (To Die Dreaming)

¡Hola! Everybody...
I’ve had to do a lot of writing related to my work, cutting short my creative writing time. I’m looking forward to some time off during the holidays... anyone wanna help me stoke my fireplace? LOL

I wrote the following a while back. I have a “funny” relationship to my dreams (none of which I ever remember!) and I can say I write while dreaming...

Iceland_ 134

-=[ To Die Dreaming ]=-

Dreaming men are haunted men.
-- Stephen Vincent Benet


… The thought of her beauty awakens me sometimes, from the middle of dreams I can’t remember. It’s not the image of her face, the softness of her skin, but just the sudden awareness of her total beauty – that first strike before any of the details become clear -- that jolts me awake and leaves me longing on the broken shoals of my bed.

For a brief moment, I’m upset she’s not here with me, but the anger gradually subsides into longing, and I stand and pace, haunting the darkness of my room, thinking of possibilities. Gradually, I come to the awareness that there’s no reason for anger, only choices. I ponder all this for what seems like hours and it’s the thought of her beauty that makes me lie back on my bed, weighing me down so that I plummet through the thin fabric of wake and sleep and drown in the middle of dreams I don’t remember…

* * *

Love,

Eddie