Mass Fish Deaths Do Not Bode Well For Chicago Bears

Thousands of small dead herrings are floating up on the lakefronts in Chicago.  The latest case of unexplained mass-animal deaths are puzzling environmentalists but, even more importantly, it should worry the Chicago Bears who face the Seattle Seahawks on Sunday.  If I were a betting man, I would check out the following facts.

Over the past few months, and mostly the past few weeks, the bizarre events of mass-animal deaths have plagued the country and world---just in time for the time for college bowl games and the NFL playoffs.  And the results are monumentally odds-breaking.

Never mind what the scientists and religious zealots preach, ask your local bookie what he thinks of all the "prophecies."  Since December 30, there have been four major mass-deaths and they seem to have affected the outcome of important games involving the regional team.

Go back to December 30 and 31 when 100,000 fish were found dead in an Arkansas river and then over 5,000 red-winged blackbirds fell from the sky.  Four days later the Arkansas Razorbacks (-3 1/2) almost upset Ohio State in one of the greatest comebacks in Sugar Bowl history but lost after their QB threw a pass right into the arms of a Buckeye defensive end and lose, 31-26.  A double whammy.

Fast forward to January 3 when 2 million dead fish were found floating in the Chesapeake Bay.  The next night Virginia Tech (-3 1/2) is routed by Stanford.  It's not even close.

On January 4 about 500 more blackbirds are found dead in Louisiana.  I don't have to remind you about  how the defending world champions, the New Orleans Saints fared against double-digit under dogs, the Seattle Seahawks.  The 41-36 win by the Seahawks (7-9) was one of the biggest upsets in NFL playoff history.

Now those same Seahawks come into Chicago as 10-point underdogs on Sunday and the ominous dead gizzard shad have appeared lifeless on the Windy City's beaches and shores.  Just wait for the point spread to shrink.

Over the past few months, the "Aflockalypse" has occurred in other areas and look at the results.

2,000 dead bats show up cold as Dixie beer in Texas.  How 'bout them 'Boys?

Thousands of ducks mysteriously die in Minnesota and you can look back at the Vikings' tumultuous season.  Oh, and you thought it was Brett Favre's fault.

The Carolina coastline was covered with millions of jellyfish and starfish which inexplicably ended up dead before the football season even started.  The Panthers never had a chance.

There was even the horrible sight of thousands of turtle doves falling from the skies over Italy right after the holidays.  Italian zoo officials blamed the birds deaths on "massive indigestion" after overeating.  Here in America, we call it the "Rex Ryan Syndrome."  Other experts believe it was mass suicide after the seasonal birds couldn't find work after the 12 Days of Christmas.

Scientists have blamed the mass-deaths on everything from the North Pole's magnetic field to that old apocalyptic panic button--global warming. In New York, Mets fans blame it on the Yankees.

Even so, if the Chicago area doesn't want any more mass-deaths ( i.e. fans jumping out windows) on their hands, don't bet on the home team.

Maybe some Almighty above is trying to tell us something with these unusual occurrences.  Something all mankind should heed:  Take the Seahawks and ten points.

Eli Manning: 70% Chance Of Pain For Seahawks QB

By Tony Mangia

The New York Giants head into Sunday's game in Seattle teeming with positives.  They are well-rested after a bye week, have a four game win streak and lead their division with a 5-2 record.  Now, they've found out the Seahawks starting quarterback, Matt Hasselbeck will be out with a "slight concussion"and forced to the sidelines.  It takes away a chance for the Giants fearsome pass rush to make him victim #6.

The Giants defense was expecting to face Hasselbeck until yesterday, when the QB didn't pass his baseline test and was not cleared to play by the Seahawks medical staff.

In Hasselbeck's place will be Charlie Whitehurst, who will be starting his first NFL game and attempting his first regular season pass.  The Charger's 2006 draft pick will be facing a ferocious Giants defense which has already knocked out 5 quarterbacks in their first 7 games. Whitehurst must be wondering if he will become another casualty.  The odds look pretty high say the confident Giants.

Giants QB, Eli Manning, put it bluntly, "It's scary for opposing quarterbacks knowing going into a game they got over a 70% chance of getting knocked out."

The Giants defense may be unfamiliar with Whitehurst, who is more mobile than Hasselbeck, but there will be no compromises in their beastly pass rush.  "If Hasselbeck is back there we want to make him nervous," said defensive coach, Perry Fewell, "And if the next guy is back there, we want to make him nervous." It seems Whitehurst will have plenty to be nervous of.


While division rivals the Eagles, Redskins and Cowboys deal with QB comebacks, out-of-shape players and general chaos--respectively--the relatively even-keeled Giants are brimming with confidence.  They bring a balanced offensive attack and a rib-breaking D into Qwest Field--a place that hasn't been so kind to the G-Men in the past.  The Giants say they are prepared for Qwest Field, but history says otherwise.

First, a reality check.  The Giants haven't been very successful after bye weeks.  The team is 3-3 under Head coach Tom Coughlin.  Second, the Giants have never won at Qwest Field and have lost 4 straight in Seattle.  The Seahawks (4-3) are coming off of a 33-3 bashing in Oakland last week but are 3-0 at home this year.

Combine that with the noise factor.  Qwest Field is widely regarded as the noisiest stadium in the NFL.  Decibel readings reach indoor stadium levels and that doesn't bode well for the turnover prone Giants.  In 2005 the team was called for an comical 11 false starts in one game against Seattle and attributed it to the raucous fans.  Manning already has 11 INT's and the team has fumbled 10 times in it's first 7 games.  If Manning gets rattled by the crowd, his tinnitus could cause more turnovers than Democratic House flip-flops last Tuesday.

The Giants know they can make a big statement by beating Seattle on Sunday.  At this time last year, they started their downward swoon out of playoff contention. Losses to the Seahawks in 2005 and 2006 still reverberate louder the the ear-splitting noise.  Coughlin used the phrase "poise in the noise" at his mid-week press conference to prepare his squad for the home team's '12th man.'  He also used loudspeakers with jet engine decibels in practice to replicate Qwest Field acoustics.  Seattle coach, Pete Carroll called the crowd noise "a legitimate factor" in his team's unbeaten home record.

Carroll's defense isn't so shabby either.  His opportunistic bunch has a offense-numbing plus-eight in turnovers at home and allows only 12 points per game.  Manning knows he will have to be careful in the red zone.  "You have to block things up,"said the quarterback, "The routes have to be precise and throws have to be on the money."  Six of Manning's interceptions have been on tipped balls.

The main keys to a Giants win will be handling the noisy environment thus avoiding silly penalties and self-destructing inside the twenty-yard line.  If they hang on to the ball and rough up the raw Whitehurst early, they could prevail.

If Eli Manning's calculations are correct, the Seahawks might want to work out a third quarterback, just in case.