I don't know what precipitated the large exodus from the site, I don't know if it happened in little bits or all at once. There were still enough people about that I recognized I arrived at the right place. I made a comment here or there and was recognized as an old timer by a few, but most had no clue it had been too long. I was still offered the same respect I had when I left, mostly because I make very few waves, and treat other respectfully. My mama always told me you get what you give.
I noticed a proliferation of female commenters who seemed to be flooding the comments with their own take on relationships, not inherently wrong, but distracting because I feel the blog's focus was being lost. I wrote about that here. I enjoyed hearing what men have to say about their experiences with women, I enjoy knowing that men want to know who to attract women, and I enjoyed learning about what men like in women. It's been very helpful to me personally. The blog comments had shifted from this focus and were flame wars between men and women commenters - a little annoying.
I rarely call anyone out or make comments on the site, I have to be moved significantly to do so. Recently I called Nicole out, a regular commenter, asking her why she hadn't lost significant weight if what she claimed was true - men don't find fat appealing. She had been dieting back in 09' and I thought had a good handle on what not to eat, she touted it. Yet here it is two years later, she's still on the site, claiming her obesity. Why? She answered me back but didn't address my question. I didn't respond back because it was evident she wanted to engage in a fight. Not my interest. (I called a notorious girl commenter out in 09' as well, seeing right away what she was up to, unfortunately that one got out of hand...interesting times)
I waded into it over the weekend. Xsplat, a 45 year old fellow living in Indonesia with a young gf, very, very regularily comments about Game. Fine, that's what the site is about. However, he's made no bones about the fact he finds very young girls, 11 and up, sexually attractive. Last week he posted a video of a young TV show girl who he says many men find sexually appealing. I watched the video and it made me sick. She looks maybe 11 or 12, but is made up to look like an 8 year old, very child like. (picture link below in Spiralina comment, you'll know what I mean if you click it...yeah). The video has strong sexual overtones, because it was mashed up to have a rock band playing throughout the video while she baked cookies and at the end white cookie dough sprayed around the kitchen like it was the last scene in a porno shoot. I'm sure you get the drift. It was gross. I'm sexually open, not ultra conservative, however using child like children in sexual situations is disgusting.
Xsplat is taking a lot of heat on the Heartiste blog over the weekend. What may or may not be trolls, perhaps even regular readers with false monikers are giving him the gears, and calling him nasty things like pedo in order to shame him. I in my infinite wisdom decided to add my own two cents. I rarely feel the need but for some reason was prompted. The trolls were trolls but there was truth in what they were saying, or at least that's how it resonated with me. I didn't address the ickyness of the young girls to begin with, I focused on the purpose of the blog, which is to learn Game. Read the following comments below and you'll get the idea.
I think what we're witnessing is public shaming of a man. Some of the commenters are harsh and cruel, others like mine and Bright Stormy Day are trying to be reasonable and thoughtful in our approach. He claims it's all jealousy and that the trolls are all the same person. Only one or two commenters have risen to his defence which I think is telling. Most are staying silent on the subject. We shall see what unfolds I suppose.
To get the whole thing go here.
To get the whole thing go here.
I wrote this to Xsplat in a comment:
God help me I’m wading in. I would advise a day or two to think about what’s been written and ask yourself why the hate is levelled against you. Where there’s smoke there’s fire. You may be deluding yourself into thinking these guys are jealous. Don’t reject out of hand what some are trying to tell you. I have wondered myself why you are on this site so much if you have so much access to ahem…young pussy. (feels weird writing it)
Everyone has a purpose for being here and as you pointed out to me the other day, I have been respectful of the purpose. You’ve been successful in your part of the world, but most aren’t living there and the rules don’t apply the same way. Applying your alpha-cred to a Western world doesn’t work. If you were to come back and work your knowledge and achieve success you’d gain more points. I know that’s not your plan, nor do you want it to be right?
I have not one hateful bone in my body for you, but I implore you to think about what’s been said and weigh it for truth.
As FP says
mout
I received this comment from Xsplat in response:
Hi Aeffe,
If you can point to any piece of my relationship that is not cross-culturally applicable, please do so.
I’ve given countless pieces of advice – so if your idea is correct, this should be an easy task.
Where I responded:
It’s not so much what you proffer its what you offer. You are living in a country where a major economic gap exists between Westerners and locals, not to mention the culture when it comes to male and female dynamics. You talk like you have the answers, however when you claim your own situation is relevant that becomes the issue. You know the theory of game, there isn’t any doubt – you live her on this site and have for a long time. What sticks in people’s craw is how you act like you are the epitome of successful game while fellows here don’t believe you’ve actually had to use it.
Do you see what I’m trying to say?
Then Cadnerd wrote about me:
It’s a straw man, made of circular “reasoning”. Only likes like aoefe eats it up. She’s after all a girl, a keen observer of fashions or fads that seem to have some form of social capital–3 or so people gung on xsplat, so it must be true what they are saying.
And I wrote back to Cadnerd:
I think you got me, I thought this WAS the fashion site! What was I thinking? Personally I think it took a bit of courage to wade in with some thoughts on the matter. I think perhaps my own thoughts took a turn with the discussion of 11 year old bodies the other day. I confess it grossed me out – and maybe that’s why I identified with his detractors. I have NO idea if gaming women is easier here or there, I don’t game women. I was pointing out how he comes across may make it harder to be believable is all. Hardly jumping on the social band wagon. But I’m a mere girl and what do I know. ;)
Frankly it’s none of my business, I’ll own that, but we’re here spewing all of our little anecdotes and it’s only right to expect opinions.
I think the commenter Spiralina summed it best for me:
I would argue that some of the hate directed at you has to do with comments you’ve made on this blog. You have a well-documented sexual preference for tiny, childlike women, as well as incest fantasies during sex. These two aren’t necessarily concerning on their own, but several days ago you stated a sexual attraction to 11-14 year old girls. You also mentioned the attractiveness of an 11-year-old Indonesian pop star, and waxed on about the “hotness” of this character:
There’s nothing wrong with preferring younger partners (or Asian women for that matter) but there’s a line between young women and actual children, and you’ve blurred it with your own comments. Frankly you sound like a pedophile, and that may be where some of the “weird creepy old sex tourist” vitriol is coming from. But sure, if it makes you feel better to call it jealousy, go with that.
I will leave you with Xsplats's view:
While I get it that I’ve been posting too much, even with all the recent hate, I’ve received many times more positive feedback. I can’t count how many times people have said “golden, brilliant, insightful”, etc. Some people have said they routinely scroll down to read my posts. I’ve received very positive feedback from dozens and dozens of people here, and on probably hundreds of posts.
When there was a feedback system, my posts nearly all got noticeably high marks.
A few cranky cranks are nothing but that.
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