Sex with other women

I'll start by saying I have no clear way in my mind as to how to write this post.  I know what I'm thinking but without doing a lengthy history of conversations had at Roissy there will be little context.  So I'll simply say this, I have said that I would understand if my future mate had women on the side because I understood men's need for variety.   Now that I'm in a serious relationship which could be a very long term situation I'm questioning myself, actually testing my emotions and my intellect to see if I was being truthful.

I understand the biological need men have for variety.  I also understand men's attraction to vibrant, healthy, fertile females.  I believe men can compartmentalize better than women and have the potential to have an emotional connection with one woman and sex with others.  But...how would I feel if my man had sex with other women?

I love this man.  The more I know him and spend time with him the deeper I fall.  I have been very choosy and feel it's paid off because this man is amazing.  He's not amazing as in sweep me off my feet charm, or because he's model gorgeous.  He's a real man.  He's a man of character and quiet presence, a man who has very similar values and a wicked sense of humour.  He loves me.  He recognizes in me what I see in him - it's a connection that we both feel very lucky to have found.  

He is a sexual man.  I am a sexual woman.  He would say sensual, but I am crasser I suppose.  He has had a lot of women, and doesn't brag, it just is.  He never talks poorly of ex's or women he's played with (his words), he loves women.  It's important to him that his partner is sexual/sensual, it was a must on both of our lists.  But...how would I feel if my man had sex with another woman?

I am not the jealous type.  If a man wants to be with someone else he has the option, but the option was he would lose me - done dealee-o-so.  I wouldn't be dramatic or beg, I get it, there are other options out there.  He told me once that I never have to worry about him cheating, he knows what he has and the temptation of pleasure with someone else was not worth it to lose me.  Of course I didn't go into any discussion about what I think about - could I accept a man's need for variety if it was him and I.

I am monogamous, I love my man and being a woman if you've found a guy like this you feel lucky.  Women don't entertain cheating on a man who gives them the tingles.  He's fiercely independent and non-needy, if I played games with him, he'd go.  He's not into drama or chaos or shit tests.  I've learned a lot about myself hearing men talk about women at Roissy's place and I think it's done this relationship a world of good.  I have honestly looked at my annoying, over-thinking, shit testing traits and now make sure I don't bring them to his attention.  I think it makes me a bit mysterious to him, I'm not like other women he thinks.  Oh, yes, I, am.  I just know better.  

I'm uncertain as to how any discussion would go regarding him having sex with other women.  I think he'd be weirded out and feel I've lost my mind.  He loves me, and feels monogamy is a commitment to prove it.  Perhaps it is.  I love him enough to question it...