Bucket List: 1 down, 143 to go...

My family is on a much needed vacation. We planned and paid for this vacation before I sold my book, otherwise I would never have had the audacity to leave town....

A WEEK AND A HALF BEFORE MY BOOK LAUNCHES!!!

Holy crap! Holy crap! Gonna lose my poop here...

Okay. Deep breaths. I'm cool, I'm cool.

Ok, but anyway.....

So we are on a 9 day vacation on the beautiful Oregon coast. The reason we chose to come to the Oregon coast is because #1, it really is gorgeous like none other. Where else can you walk out of a thick, lush rainforest, onto a beach where the next stop is China? And #2, there was a time--a long time ago--when this was my old stomping grounds. From 17-20 years of age, this was my haunt. My hood. My....well, you get the drift.

I cruised Seaside with my bestie, Adrienne, and I smoked and drank on many a logging road or at more than a few beach parties. Not that I am particularly proud of that. I'm now a non drinker, non-smoker, non-partier. Well, unless you count the occasional girls night out that includes dinner, a movie, and then *GASP* Cold Stone Creamery after it.....

I know, I know. I'm a real rebel. But frankly, I prefer this life to the former. I'm too old, too fat, too maternal, to MARRIED, and too tired to live like that anymore. But boy...do I have some stories. *Sigh* Those were the crazy days.

Alright, so back to the blog....

So I am sitting here in a hotel right now, waiting for my two youngest children to fall asleep. Yes, I am the woman sitting in the HALLWAY of the hotel, while the two kids on the other side of the door go to sleep. And no, they won't sleep with me in there. Yes, I realize how stupid that is. And no, I don't care. You spend 9 hours in a car with 4 kids, and then camp yourself out in a teensy tiny hotel room with two playpens and then tell me how I should put them to bed!

Okay, sorry........that was the sunburn speaking. Really, I have no pigment in my skin. None at all. It makes me pissy. Sorry.

So I have a bucket list. There are more than a few things on it. Some of those things are: riding down the west coast on highway 101 and then across the country on Route 66 on a motorcycle with my nerd; meeting Steven Tyler; and visiting Greece, among others. I've already checked a few things off of my list: I've become a published author......AND....

I ate a VooDoo Donut yesterday!! WOOT WOOT!!

Yes, I, Brooke Moss, ate at VooDoo Donuts with my family on our way through Portland. It was every bit as tacky and glorious and yummy as I expected. Since my nerd and I are already married, we had no need for a marriage ceremony, but I find it incredibly important to point out the fact that you can actually be married in a VooDoo Donuts. I wish I would have thought of that. Genius.

The donut flavors are amazing. Seriously. There is one called the Cock and Balls, and it looks like a HUGE...um, cock and balls. Sorry to be crass, but it is what it is. And it's a cock and balls. Anyway, my nerd had a "Blood Filled VooDoo Doll", my oldest son had the "Dirt", my two youngest had some pretty standard Sprinkled Donuts, my daughter had an "Old Dirty Bastard" and I had the....

Bacon Maple Bar.

Think it sounds gross? Go to he**, because it's amazing!!!

This thing had everything. Sweet, bread, salty, bacon-y, amazing to the 67th degree. And....if you sit really still and quiet while you eat it, you can actually hear your azz getting fatter. No kidding.

It was wonderful. A treat I will not soon forget, and have to repeat. Enjoy the pictures, folks.

Oh, and next time you're in Portland, Oregon....go to VooDoo Donuts. I dare you not to see the face of God in that Bacon Maple Bar. It will change your life.

Brooke Moss.