June 18, 4:55AM
I'm back!
But I always come back on uh....what's his name? Oh yeah, "Painterguy" when he starts to think he's doing OK.
It's just my way of shoving the old oar in and stirring up his pathetic little world that he thinks he might improve somehow...which is total nonsense.
He's sleeping now, and he even sleeps like an asshole. Stops breathing sometimes and wakes up gasping for air and shit like that.
What a Putz!
But don't worry. I'm going to taunt him today.
I'm going to tease him, and make fun of him, and maybe get him to cry like a big crybaby.
And then I will laugh.
He told me wants to plant tomatoes today. Can you believe that? Tomatoes! I mean, what the Fuck! What a shithead!
And he wants to twaddle on his wittle banjo and put a song on the internet today. Again.
Ooops, the asshole's stirring. He hears the wittle birdies outside now and thinks that's a nice sound in the dawn or some kind of bullshit like that.
But I'm taking over this shitty blog now, and I'm going to play the kind of music I want to hear.
Here's one from the Red Headed Chick. I taught Red this song actually, and as you know, I just LOVE red hair!
Pennywise: (Giggles) Whoops! He's up now.
"Hey Shithead!"
Painterguy: Leave me alone you fucking sick clown
Pennywise: Leave you alone? Now why would I want to do that? What's the matter? Don't cha like me anymore?
Painterguy: It's too early. Go away. I don't feel well.
Pennywise: You don't feel well? Aw gee, I'm sorry!
A pause
Pennywise: I'm actually not surprised though, cause you sure put on a good show last night for everyone. For all your buddies. Remember? All your blogging buddies?
Painterguy: It was all drivel.
Pennywise: Oh no! It was more than just drivel Johnny. In fact, like the name of the old song: Johnny I hardly knew ya!"
Painterguy: (Rolls over in bed and looks up) What do you mean?
Pennywise: Hmmm, so the asshole doesn't remember. You really don't, do ya.....asshole?
Painterguy: Stop calling me names. And besides, what are you doing here again. I thought I got rid of you.
Pennywise: He thought he got rid of me! Oh that's rich! What are you talking about you putz? You called me back up from hell last night. Don't you remember?
Painterguy: No I didn't. What the hell are you talking about.
Pennywise: Hee hee. this is great. The little motherfucker drank too much beer, and now he doesn't remember what he did last night. I Love it!
Painterguy: I said to stop calling me names. Why do you always do that?
Pennywise: (Taunting) Why do you always do that! Why do you always do that? I don't do it shithead. Your the one that does it. I just carry out your wishes. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you.
Painterguy: (curious) What do you mean?
Pennywise: What do I mean? You've got to be kidding me! The asshole wants to know what I mean!
Look Painterguy, let me spell it out for you: I'm a fig newton of your sick mind. Of your shitty imagination. You swirled me up from all the muck that you call brain tissue, and put me right here in this room, to abuse you, and you Love it!
Painterguy: You Lie. No I didn't. You came because I owe Student Loan money for the rest of my life, and that is why you will never leave me alone and never go away, even when I am talking a shower, brushing my teeth, picking my nose, or masturbating, or whatever. You even told me yourself that you embody my debt and all my insecurities and....
Pennywise: Whoa! Whoa! Wait! Wait! Hold on Painter guy. Just hold on! You got it all wrong Baby!
Get a grip snuggles, and listen up: You made me. You created me, and I'm here because you want me here. You need me kiddo, and you can't live without me. Come on! You know that. So just admit it, and you'll feel much, much better. Allllll better.
Painterguy: Oh, just......Fuck off. I need to get some more sleep.
Pennywise: Awwww gee, and I thought I would hold you head over the bowl while you puked your wretched guts out.
Painterguy: (turns slightly green) No. I'm not gonna get sick. I just need to sleep a little more.
(Pennywise smirks)
Pennywise: Come on Painterguy. Get up! Get up you lazy bones. Get up Bitch! You can;t sleep all day you know. What about those tomatoes? Maybe when they are ripe you can shove them up your ass and jerk off.
(No response)
Pennywise: Bitch, your going to get up, because Bitch, I own you!
(Pennywise looks over at Painterguy's desk and sees a piece of paper in the printer, and takes a few steps over, grabs it and starts to read:
Dan's Papers
Dan's Papers,
read all about it..........hey Painterguy what have we here?
(Painterguy is instantly awake and bolts out of bed)
Painterguy: Give me that. Give it to me now.
(But Pennywise holds the paper out of reach, as Painterguys hands pass through his ghost-like body.
Pennywise: Poems everybody! Poems! The laddie fancys himself a Poet!
Painterguy: Give that back I said.
Pennywise: Give me a blowjob first Painterguy. (He perused the paper some more) Hmmm. Let me see: "I'm all right Jack. Keep your hands of of my stack......"
Painterguy: It doesn't say that.
Pennywise: Well I know that bitch. But just what does it say?
(Pennywise starts to read)
Dan's Papers
Dan's Papers
Read all about it
Read all about it in the Dan's Papers.
Read about all Humanity's rapers
and all the soul scrapers
They're all right in there
right in the Dan's Papers
The psychopathic madman from Wall Street
that wages war on good
just bought an oceanfront house
as well he should
He got rich off the tears of the masses
and the sobs of the saints
and he looks quite intellectual
in designer glasses
with shimmering shades
to hide his cruel eyes
and iniquity taints
Henry David Thoreau
who runs the Dans paper
(it's no surprise)
He's just one of the folks-
the regular guys-
in a never ending hat
and not one of his cohorts
as he walks all in summer
in sunshine and shorts
and he drools all the drivel
about charity functions
and cheap celebrities
and ungodly real estate
put on the pages, and maintained by the poor
and the real estate priests
as the penitents go
without their last unctions
and can't get a date
with God.
So the narcissists nibble
On all of Dan’s dribble
While the tattooed
trade parade talks
filthy garbage all up and down
the highway of Montauk
And God wears a frown.....
Pennywise looks up at Painterguy
Pennywise: My oh my, my my! Did you write all that Painterguy?
Painterguy: Give it back to me. Now.
Pennywise: Toss my salad first.
YOU! YES YOU! STAND STILL LADDIE!
To be continued.
* Just a note, so people don't think I'm totally flipped out. Pennywise talks to me here in much the same way a mentally abusive painting foreman or boss has after Law School. But perhaps many a boss has spoken to an underling in this style? But anyway, that is one facet of Pennywise, anyway, and maybe he's a regurgitation of a whole lot of shit from my life as I portray him.
_________________________________________________
July 25, 2011 - 7:37AM
If you happen to be one of those people that are searching for JD Painterguy's College Transcript, I would suggest that you do not stay for very long on this page.
I don't have time to leave a link in order to tell you where to go yet, but will when I get back tonight.
In the meantime, try not to draw the attention of Pennywise.
Because that will be Bad.
Pennywise is Evil, and it is better to leave him to rest. In Hell.
But I had a strange dream last night.
I dreamed that Ann Coulter was speaking and singing to me in Gaelic.
Love songs no less.
Funny right?
So come back to this here page tonight, and I'll be a tellin ye where to find the Transcipt, and with no more Leprechaun tricks. Promise.
(And stay away from Pennywise!)
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