S and M

Well, it was like this Jeeves.....


I asked: How was the Halloween party? as I,  JD Painter and the other one, that transient painter I so often speak about--walked the 28 ft aluminum extension ladder down the driveway.


"Oh! replied the transient painter. Oh! It was great!"


And, after a few moments, we reached the front of the great big old Long Island house that we were painting that day. And then next, I held still on my end while he swung his end round in a half circle. I then lowered my end to the ground, placing my feet upon the lowermost rung, and he then started to walk the ladder up into a perpendicular position.


"We had a good time!" Continued the transient painter while doing this raising, and with many a push and a grunt. "All my buddies were there, and everyone was dressed in a costume." he said. 


And, well Jeeves, all I could do was reply with the old non-interrogative: "Oh yeah?" 


To which the transient painter replied, and with waxing enthusiasm:  "Yeah" (to my reply), and he also added:  Me and Bonnie (the girlfriend of his I told you about Jeeves),  we  went as S and M." 


By that time, the ladder had become fully upright, an event upon which the transient painter and I both took a grip on opposite sides of the rails of it.  I then started pulling on the rope, thereby raising it to almost  full and safe operational height, to the accompaniment of the familiar, dull clunk-a-clunk sound  that aluminum extension ladders characteristically make while being extended. 


And then Jeeves, although it might seem odd, my mind started to wonder about how many times the subject of S&M might have ever been mentioned during the history of the world, and to the  accompaniment of the process of raising ladders, constructed of whatever materials as belonging to the particular epoch within which they were made, in general.


For instance, I wondered if, during the rather lengthy spot of time it took to construct that old 3D triangle at Giza, and with who knows what degree of anticipation--for it seemed to drag on a bit if I had heard correctly-- some rude fellow might have made mention of using a leather strap to tie his Egyptian spouse up like a Christmas Turkey (altough Christmas hadn't been invented by then had it Jeeves?-- before carrying on the deed for the typical alloted time required for Homo Sapiens in such circumstances.....uh....twenty minutes or so perhaps? What do you think Jeeves?


"The amount of time required for the performance of the Human sexual act has been known to vary greatly, depending on the circumstances, and the time alotted, as you correctly indicate Sir" Said Jeeves.


Yes. Yes. I suppose so. But I also wondered, as I say, if, perhaps while the hanging gardens in--what's that place called now? ....


"The ancient maps would have bestowed the label of Babylon upon the portion of the parchment which indicated the locale to which you are referencing, I believe, Sir." Said Jeeves. 


Oh yes. That's it! Babylon........anyway, while the Hanging Gardens were getting their final touches, I wondered if a saucy wielder of a similar wooden climbing device such as the one we had just set up might have discussed whipping, or taunting, or nasty talk in one way or another. 


And..oh yes. I remember now, the domicile of the hanging gardens was Babylon. Silly of me to forget. (Jeeves rolled his eyes) 


But, to get back to that day, old JD Painter and the transient painter had the ladder up and against the house finally, and while trying to make sense of his prattle about the Halloween party,  and the costumes and all, I finally asked:  "You mean, possibly, that you went to the Halloween party as an S and M couple?"


And  then the transient painter grew insulting Jeeves. Positively insulting! Do you know what he said next? He said: 


"No, you dumb shit! We went as S and M!"


Now Jeeves,  no one appreciates being called a "Dumb Shit" especially when all they are doing is trying to gain a better understanding of what simply seemed to be an improper use of  the language of the old Rex. 


In my mind, there was a marked difference between going to a party as two characters that liked to partake in the phenomena known popularly as S&M, or going as the entity of S&M itself, which seemed to...well....partake of a sort of representative or envoyish quality, don't you think?


"Undoubtedly Sir!" Said the ever patient Jeeves.


My sentiments too Jeeves.


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To be continued. My puppy is very unhappy and wants to go out and play.