Gunsmoke.The Jittery Kid Sequence

Top: Marshal Matt Dillon, Doc, Miss Kitty, Deputy Festus
Bottom: Quint

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Marshal Matt Dillon was seated at his usual table in the Long Branch Saloon. He slowly sipped the strong, black coffee, and chewed the plain toast that Miss Kitty had made for him, while reading the morning edition of the Dodge City Chronicle, which he held in his large, calloused hands. His face wore its usual serious expression as he took in the typical news about cattle drive schedules, the construction of the new railroad depot north of town, and the mining claim disputes up in the Black Hills. There was even a blurb in the Entertainment Section about the arrival of the lovely actress and singer, Lily Langtree in two weeks time, for a one night only show at the Dodge City Palladium.

"The Judge outgt'a get a kick out of that!" thought the Marshal, remembering how his friend, Judge Roy Bean, was wont to speak wistfully from time-to-time about the famed actress. 

Judge Roy Bean
Marshal Matt Dillon's Best Friend and Ally

Miss Kitty, the owner of the Long Branch Saloon, was seated at the table opposite the Marshal, and had her usual businesslike expression when she asked:

"How Long are you going to be away Marshal?"

Marshal Dillon put down his paper and thought for a moment, then said, matter of factly:

"Well, when I catch those two cattle rustlers Festus spoke about......before they make it through the Waco Pass. .... then.... no more than two days I would guess. Maybe even less."

Miss Kitty seemed a little startled when she heard this, and,  putting down her drink, said:

"Marshal,  I'm surprised at you! I mean, I'm not one to tell you your business, but don't you think you ought to be out there right now trying to head those two rustlers off at the Waco Pass, instead of sitting here with me........"

Miss Kitty paused for a moment as "Doc", a cantankerous old cus, and also the town Doctor, pushed his stubborn way through the swinging double doors of the saloon.

".......with me and Doc?" she Continued.

"What's that?" Asked the Doc when he heard his name mentioned, and then headed to their table. 

But the Marshal merely chuckled a rare chuckle, and said:

"Now, now Miss Kitty. You know how much I can't resist your excellent black coffee and toast. I just had to come on by and have some."

That statement seemed to please Miss Kitty, and she flushed slightly, making, Marshal Dillon secretly thought, the beauty mark she had penciled on her right cheek seem all the more beautiful.

"And besides," continued the Marshal, winking, "I've got a shortcut to the Waco Pass that no one else knows about."

The Marshal then stood up from the table, seeming to rise for a long time, until his 290 pound,  six foot and seven inch  frame was fully erect. All in the Long Branch Saloon who happened to observe him remarked to themselves on what an imposing presence Marshal Matt Dillon always made.

As the Marshal started to leave, Miss Kitty, with a concerned look,  gently grabbed his wrist, and, calling him by his first name asked:

"Matt, what about that kid everyone's been talking about. You know. The jittery one?"

Marshal Dillon pushed his stetson back and scratched the top of his forehead a little, and at the same time winced as if he was already standing in the full noonday sun outside the doors of the Longbranch Saloon. He knew all about the kid that Miss Kitty spoke of, and was indeed very concerned. However, Marshal Dillon also realized that to date, the kid hadn't broken any laws, yet, and so he said as much to Miss Kitty.

"Besides, added the Marshal. "You always have Festus (Marshal Dillon's Deputy)  and Quint (The Drinking Buddy of Festus) around for help if any trouble starts."

Then the Marshal strode deliberately out of the Long Branch Saloon. Once outside, he mounted his trusted steed, Bingo, who had been patiently waiting, and rode off into the Prarie, and in the direction of the Waco Pass.  

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Miss Kitty's fears with repect the one she referred to as the jittery kid were not without merit.

The kid was rumored to be very, very  jittery, with a tall and lean body, and a sunburnt, rawboned face, along with very long, quick and dangling arms; arms that had skinny, twitchy muscles,  that always seemed to be uncoiling and recoiling, and flexing nervously. 

It was also rumored that several people had seen the kid out in the desert, honing his shooting skills by shooting at bottles and various targets for many hours on end with his shiny,  Colt 45 Peacemaker revolver (Pearl Handled, with a nickel finish).

The rumors also said that the kid was fast. Fast on the draw and deadly accurate and.....again, not just fast.

Almighty FAST!

And rumors, in Dodge City, especially rumors of that nature,  spread like a prairie brush fire. Already the cow hands were discussing it over their campfires at night; and the ranch workers were all talking about it in the saloons. They were also discussing the topic of gunfighters in general, and debating which gunfighter--which Gunfighter still living that is--was the fastest. Marshal Matt Dillon's name was always at the top of the list of course, but everyone in Dodge also knew that Marshal Dillon was not as young as he once was, and maybe a little out of practice by now since, after all, Marshal Dillon had, in countless gun duels,  managed to kill off just about every gunfighter and bad guy that stood in his way (In Dodge City, that is) Some said the number was over a thousand, but it was probably more like 972.

However, there were always the sudden arrivals: the stray, and relatively unfamiliar out-of-town gunfighters to worry about. The strangers. The unknowns. That was what this new young fellow everyone referring to as the "Jittery Kid" was. But realistically, except for the rumors, none of the citizens of Dodge were sure of just how fast the kid was; and they also knew that shooting at bottles, no matter how impressive, was not the same thing as shooting at an flesh and blood man 20 paces away, or across a card table., who also happened to be shooting back, and shooting to kill. 

Still, one aspect of the rumors that enticed the cow hands, the ranch workers, and the newly apprised townsfolk the most, was the part about how the jittery kid, after drawing his gun like lightening, and fanning a clean hole through the middle of six of a handful of silver dollars thrown in the air, muttered under his breath:

"Marshal Dillon! I'm a comin' fer you!" 

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The rumors persisted over several weeks, and then months, and they became more and more elaborate and exaggerated, as rumors inevitably do end up becoming.

One story told of an obscure contest at Buffalo Bill's travelling show, between the Jittery Kid, and the legendary Annie Oakley. The Jittery Kid, it was said, beat young Miss Oakley so badly in the contest, that she was later seen to discard her famed rifle in a trash barrel outside the gates of the fairgrounds while exclaiming:  "You can't get a man with a gun!"

After that,  a wild and tumultuous affair ensued between The Jittery Kid and Annie Oakley, which lasted for about a year or until, one day, the Jittery Kid ignominiously went out to buy the proverbial box of cigars at the local feed and grain store, and then never returned, leaving Miss Oakley shamed, and three months along. The story was said to provide, as gossip invariably does,  exquisite cuisine for the auditory palate of all the Texarcana Panhandle for quite some time.

Annie Oakley

*Added: May 10th--I had a big laugh this morning, because one visitor to my blog (probably a guy) came through a google search that asked: "Did Matt Dillon ever Fuck Miss Kitty?" (Which is one of the all-time mysteries of  the "Western" cinematic Genre possibly).


Maybe I could finish the story that way. But it would be a passionate love scene, and not just a fuck. But naah, there is no sex in this story. I have too much admiration for James Arness, and any fun I am poking is very mild.

Anyway, this Gunsmoke Western story is:  TO BE CONTINUED