The Serious Seducer and Me

1. N/A commented to me at Roissy's,  on the post The Subtle Heartbreak of Female Aging.  

   
   

   aoefe,

   Your situation is interesting. You’ve lived by your looks. You’re intelligent, feminine, exhibitionist, and vain. And of a certain age.

   In short, a perfect target for a serious seducer. Especially if your current “love” is close to your age. It’s very easy to use a woman like yourself, because, although you’re still desirable, you’ve entered into what I call the age of gratitude.

   A seducer senses this and exploits it. Take careful stock of your current man. Unless he is a good deal older, he’s holding all the cards. Don’t let “love” blind you to the realities of the sexual market.

   I give you this warning free gratis and for nothing because your response to the ludicrously ill-named beautiful was exceptionally fine.

   
   

    I don't think it's smart to be stupid and if I've been blind it's nice to have someone turn on a light.  I appreciate comments like this because it allows me to reflect and analyze.  

   In this case after looking it I don't believe he's right but I think he's bang on when he suggests it could be.  Women of 'a certain age', (wow that sounds OLD!), can become more grateful for attention because they know they've passed their prime years.  I've seen this happen with my friends who once married, dump their hubbies and then hook up/shack up with Mr. Loser because he pays attention to them.  They are willing to overlook glaring flaws in order to feel special even if it's fleeting.  I have a relatively small sample size in my own life because most of my friends and family are married and remain so.  Only two friends have left mates and both of those shacked up within 30 days of their announcements and quite frankly I think they're making mistakes.  The men weren't in their lives prior FYI.  

   When I look at my current situation and examine it with the literally dozens of men I've met and the very few I considered for a relationship I realize I've been very choosy and it would take a serious deviation from my normal good judgement for me to fall with a heavy duty seducer who wanted to take advantage of me.  I have never begrudged my single hood and have often been the centre of attention (I love that seat!) with others who have loved living vicariously through me.  I've also enjoyed writing about the experiences and have wondered from time to time if I'm more invested in the 'story' than the goal of meeting someone special.  Point is I'm okay being by myself and don't think a serious seducer could make me feel grateful.  I may in fact be too narcissistic for it.  I feel special.  I feel like he has gained something.  I feel like I've gained something.  If I'm grateful its because I've met someone I feel so connected to, who reflects my own values yet is wiser and more grounded than I am.  I'm not grateful to be loved because I feel I'm lovable.  He and I have had honest discussions about our willingness to walk away if drama entered our relationship.  I hate it, so does he.  If I felt for a moment I was being seduced and played, I could walk away and would.  So would he.  We admire that in each other.  

   N/A I've examined what you've said and feel that in this case I'm the exception rather than the rule.