How To Spot Issues In a Fact Pattern

How To Spot Issues In a Fact Pattern

(For MW)

Once upon a time, a long while ago, I found myself taking the New York Bar Exam, and on that exam was a Fact Pattern; and that Fact pattern is the subject of this story. It was, actually,  one of six fact-patterns that I had to deal with on one of the two very taxing days over which the NY Bar Exam was administered.  


Now, this fact pattern, which I was reading with great care, contained several major and minor Contracts issues, and required nothing less than a full blown Contracts Essay in response.


The writing of such an essay is always a challenge. However, I did feel somewhat relieved, because although my knowledge was very poor in some of the other Bar Exam main subject areas, such as Criminal Law and New York Practice (Civil Procedure), I had devoted a lot of time to the study of Contracts, and was well prepared to answer any questions-be they multiple choice or essay in nature, pertaining to the lovely subject of K, as I say.


Sadly, though, it was necessary for me to obtain 95 percent of my knowledge of Contracts after my graduation from Law School, and the information had come mostly from the excellent PMBR Bar Review materials, as well as from a Bar Review course. On a side note, and obliquely, I have always had a great admiration for the wit and outstanding teaching skills of Contracts Professor Dan Fessler, ever since.


But to return to the story--I read the fact pattern through. Then read it again. And yet again, until slowly, the issues started to emerge. There was one issue involving offer and acceptance, and another one involving consideration. I made quick notes on the piece of blue scratch paper that had been distributed by the proctors, along with the examination booklet.


I read some more, and then paused. It said something about inspecting goods, and crates of lemons (or was it limes?) and graperfuits and oranges. 


My mind went blank, and I became aware for the first time of the sound of the test taker seated next to me tapping his pen. I read the sentence over, and, like I mentioned, it was about various citrus fruits and the need to open the crates and have a look and reject them or accept them, and I wrote something about Article 2 on my scratch paper. Then I looked at the fact pattern again, and there it was again. That word:  "Oranges". 


I started to think about a trip to Florida I had taken as a kid with my family, and all the orange groves that were there; about how my father stopped the station wagon and how we all walked among the orange trees; and how my father had later bought several boxes of the freshest and juciest oranges and grapefruits I had ever tasted. How, when they were peeled or cut open, those incredible fruits almost burst as they released their compressed juices, and how all of us couldn't stop laughing as we feasted upon them, and how my mouth watered, and how my mouth was watering while thinking about those oranges that day during the exam. 


But I tried to dismiss these thoughts and to proceed with organizing them for this very important Essay. I said to myself: "Here is a Sale of Goods question, Article 2 UCC, and those oranges are----and then, damn it all--I started thinking about "Witchiepoo."


Yes, Witchiepoo, from the old HR Puffenstuff show I used to watch as a kid. 


'Dammitall! I thought. 


But I couldn't stop thinking about Witchiepoo and her song, although I don't think I had ever seen the episode where Witchiepoo sings more than once in my life, and when I was maybe 6, 7, or 8 years old. And yet that song is as deep, if not deeper, in my memory than Stairway to Heaven is.


The song went something like:


"Oranges, Poranges, Who Cares? There ain't no rhyme for oranges!"


And then my mind froze. I tried to read, but I couldn't take the material in. All I could see were letters and more letters. All I could hear was a general and vast hum and/or low roar in the NY Jacob Javitts Convention Center Hallway, and the footsteps of the Proctors, and the muffled coughs and shifting sounds of exam takers as far as the eye could see, as they shifted in their seats. 


And then my thoughts returned to the Oranges:  Fresh, succulent, juicy, delicious, scrumptious Florida Oranges. Picked right off the tree! Divine Fruit. God's gift to an ever grateful humanity for His munificent Bounty. 


"Oh Boy! I thought. Oranges!"


I couldn't take it any more. Much to the astonishment of the Proctors standing nearby, I sprang out of my chair and started shouting:


"Oranges! Poranges! WHO SAYS!
 Oranges, Poranges! WHO SAYS!
 There Ain't no rhyme for Oranges!"


And then I started running around among the test takers in the Convention Center, flapping my arms like a crazy bird,  and repeating these lines, but now in a song, and as I made a figure 8 among the desks of the other Bar Exam takers.


A loud murmer started in the vast room and..............I ran up to a very startled guy with a t-shirt that had  "Yale" printed across the chest, and screamed the song into his face point blank.


Well........ you can guess the rest. Two men in white coats threw me out onto the sidewalk.


I dusted myself off and saluted them by sticking my tongue out, as they stood impassive, and with folded arms, barring the doorway in case I made any possible attempts at re-entry.


But it didn't matter, for at that point I had lost all interest in going back inside. Instead, I turned around and walked up the block to the parking garage, paid the fee, and then drove home.


On the way I stopped at a Korean Fruit Stand in Little Neck/Douglaston, and bought a big paper bag of fresh Oranges.


I ate three of them in succession, not even bothering to peel them. I merely bit into them like they were apples, and the delicious, fresh juice spurt all over, and all over my face. It exploded into my eyes, and hair, and ran down my chin and onto my chest. With my mouth full of pulp, I laughed with mad Joy!, and thanked God Almighty for his wonderful gift. The Orange.


Amen

A Kumquat?

*Note-Back in my day, the essays were written by hand. I really don't know if it is all done with a keypad now, having been out of touch for so long. And as you can see, I have been accused of having ADD in the past, and was discussing it with a friend last night. So I came up with the idea for this Post, and figured I'd have a little fun with the topic. In reality, I don't know if I wander in my thoughts more or less than anyone else. Hope you like it MW!


Also, in this case any mention of Witches, be they Orange or whatever, is purely coincidental, and bears no relation or connection to Touro.

And Remember To Arch That Wrist!