The Train Conductor's Monologue

The Train Conductor's Monologue

Lousy, Rotten, Spoiled kid,
Ye splattered up me Choo-Choo!
I was going like a missle
din'cha hear me whistle?


Three times I went Whoo Woo!
Whoo Woo!
Whoo Woo!


Kids like you should be out--
Rockin and rollin!
So why's there someone out here now,
a scrapin up yer colon?


Didn't ya hear me Toot?
What were ya--- Drunk?
a sodden, Coot?


or smokin' on some kind er' crack?
cause now yer splattered all o'er the tracks--
why can't you kids get yer acts
together?


I'm a tall an' union man
not ese tu be understandin--
I played football in my day
ten stone an' a hundred pounds
i'd get yer ass in shape, 
cause I'm a grumpy growly bear


a great big bearie from the prarie
ready to stampede ye
into dust


an' now yer perfect tibula (or was it fibula)


is stoppin up the chains of me
mitsie bishula, or somethin'
crazy, loco,
motive


who'd a thunk that solid bone,
could make a great an pow'ferl engine moan?


Ho kidde yer a bad one!
Why'd ya jump?
Was it just for fun?


My life is oh so settled,
and now my equanimity is nettled-
because of you, 
(Realize, I've a wife and children,
to command.)


For It is I,
in the prettiest of all the seats--
a Tom o' cats
and need not heed 
humanity' demand.


be it weak, or ever bleak.


Ain't the spoils o'tax so grand!


And it goes on--but this much for now. 


More to come , and some pics or film clips if i don't busy it up to much.


* This little jingle, when finished,  concludes the Law School Suicide Fantasy Chronicles. 
Because, after all, it is not easy, banging your heart against some mad bugger's wall.