Whiney cow, party of one.

I am a whiney cow today.

I don't mean to be. In fact, I am trying to be extra helpful and kind in order to force myself to snap out of it. I offered to babysit for a friend later this month, just got finished bathing 6 (yes, folks, that's SIX...we have two spares this weekend) kids so that they would be ready for church tomorrow, and I've been alarmingly patient and clean-mouthed and kind today.

So out of my element.

Usually I am foul mouthed and cranky and I stomp around like an old troll on Saturdays. But today, I adopted the following mantra:

Fake it til ya make it, baby.

Did it work?

No. Not a bit.

I am still a whiney cow today.

You may be asking why? Maybe you're not. If not, it sucks to be you. Because I am telling you regardless. So this weekend, my BFF moved away. I mean, it's not like she moved to the other end of town, or across the state. She moved 14 hours away.

Yes, folks, fourteen hours away. My loving nerd likes to correct me when I say that, citing that it is more like 10 to 11 hours, but that is just because he hasn't attempted the drive with four kids, a dog, and a wife who has serious issues with sitting in a freaking mini van for that damn long.

So, yes. My Bestie moved 14 hours away, and frankly put: It SUCKS. Here is why: Though I am not a phone person, which I covered in detail the blog post below, and I do email and IM my friends more often than not...there was a certain comfort in knowing that she was just a few blocks away. This was incredibly convenient for me, because of the following reasons:

1.) We often shuttled each others kids places. That was handy.
2.) When she got a red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting from Costco, guess who she called to share it with? Uh huh. Me.
3.) When I made deep fried Oreos, guess who ran a batch over to her house? Yeah, me.
4.) When I got the flu several months ago, and was puking so much that I was passing out. (Yeah, no fun) Guess who my nerd called when he was panicked and wanted to take me to the ER? Her.
5.) Everytime we needed a tool? Who do you suppose we called?
6.) We were often sending each other late night emails whining and griping about the injustices of life, so that the other one could reassure her. It worked for us.
7.) When one of us would leave town, the other would watch each others house.
8.) When I went through a social crisis of epic proportions this summer, she listened to me cry and cry and cry about it. Never complained. Not once.
9.) When she went through a health scare this past month, I was there to listen to her cry. Sometimes it helps to just have someone listen to you and not try to make it better.
10.) Whenever there was a good sale anywhere, she called me. And vice versa. Though she called me more often than I called her, because she seemed to have a nose for such things.
11.) She was literally the only reason I kept going to church over these past few months. I've been struggling with the desire to keep plugging away, and she was the one who kept telling me to come, to keep trying, to have faith that my FAITH in people would come back....and unfortunately, my faith isn't back yet.

So I am feeling sorry for myself tonight. I have to face life without having a close friend at my back and call. (How selfish do I sound? Yikes. It's all apparently about me. Me. Me. Me!) I have some pretty great other friends, though. Unfortunately, most of them go to other wards, or different churches altogether. I think I need to buck up and learn how to cultivate these other friendships more, and I also need to buck up and make new friends. You see, I've been blessed with having one of those friends who makes friends with everyone around her, and I have been glomming on to her for the past few years. Not really making new friends of my own, just utilizing her popularity to have friends. Now I need to learn how to do it for myself.

It's time to be a big girl. Time to grow up.

Booooooo.

I don't wanna. I feel like throwing up my hands and having a giant hissy fit. I need to bring my pity party to a close. It's time to work it out.

Brooke Moss.