Making lemonade.

I am learning to make lemonade out of the lemons in my life.

I don't have a lot of lemons. I mean, my house is still standing. I've got 4 great kids and a hubby who loves me. I've got good friends spread out all over the place. There are no locusts anywhere near my family. So overall, I'm doing pretty good.

But, yes, I've got a few lemons right now. Just a few...

And here is what I can do with them:

When I look in the mirror at my fatness, instead of feeling bad about myself and wishing I was different, I can just pat my belly lovingly and refer to it all as "insulation" for the winter. I am actually trying to keep my heating bill down for the winter. You see? I'm smarter and more frugal than I look. So there.

When my kids are talking back to me...which happens more often than I care to admit, I can look at it this way: They will not take crap from anyone at school. I hope. When they are approached about smoking or drinking or kissing behind the gym at school, they will sass off and tell their peers where to stick it. They will backtalk their way out of sticky situations, and insult people until they back down. (A  mom can hope, right?)

When the beautiful women I go to church with don't particularly dig me (and believe me when I say that...some of these women are very pretty. It makes me feel like a slug. Or an ugly stepsister. Seriously, there are some good genes around here. How did I get stuck with the icky Danny Devito genes from the movie "Twins"?? Whatever.) I can assume that they are just intimidated by my great hair. The face below the hair might be hatchet face from "Crybaby", but thanks to balls of steel and my awesome hairdresser...I have great hair. I can only imagine how intimidating my awesome hair is.

When my husband ignores 75% of what comes out of my mouth, and looks at me with that blank stare that is equal parts "Huh?" and "Please shut up."....it is because he is so transfixed my my beauty to complete full sentences. Now, I realize that I just got done talking about how ugly I felt next to some of the beauties I go to church with. I need you to ignore that now. Thank you. I am trying to make a point.

When I cook yet another meal that flops miserably, and leaves my family looking at me like I am insane and trying to torture them by feeding them gruel....it is just another opportunity for my kids to prepare themselves for leaving the next to go to college, real life, missions, etc. I keep telling my son, "When you're on your mission to Zimbabwe, or where ever it is you go, they are going to hand you a Zebra head and tell you to eat up! What are you going to do then? It's best to prepare now. That is why I am serving this very unsuccessful dish of Salisbury Steak." The truth is, I am not an inadequate cook. I am a very thougtful and proactive mother.

When I write a chapter for my book that leaves people going: "Huh.....yeah. That's good. Whatever." I will assume that they are reacting that way because it was SO INCREDIBLY mind blowing that they cannot articulate the necessary words to express how freaking AWESOME it really was. Yeah....*Sigh* that's what I'll keep telling myself.

When I write a ridiculously long blog post about how very much I detest talking on the phone, and then my friend calls me and reads me the riot act because I never talk on the phone anymore...I am going to assume that that person no longer has access to the internet or email, and that is why that person has ignored my UMPTEEN invites to read my blog, instead of being stubborn and determined to force me to do something I don't have time for, much less WANT to do. I am going to assume that my friend is just longing for the sound of my high pitched, nasally voice. Why? Only God can answer that one. But it doesn't change the fact that they must really, really miss it. Because they are literally not getting my point on phone conversations at all.

Ok, enough lemonade for now. I have to get ready to go do some stuff for my church. Here's another way for me to make lemonade out of lemons. Lemons: Leaving home to go do something that I'm not looking forward to when I am comfy and happy here at home in my sweats. Lemonade: Seeking out two new friendships that I am totally not comfortable with establishing on my own. I can do it, though. LEMONADE, baby!!

Brooke Moss.