Pitch anxiety.

So the writers conference is coming up quickly. I have already got my room reserved, my clothes picked out and bought, my messenger bag (as recommended by my writing partner) picked out, etc. So I am sort of ready. Sort of. You see....there is a section of the conference that I am completely unprepared for. And by completely...I mean utterly, pitifully, sadly, pathetically, 100% completely unprepared for pitching my book.

When you go to a writers conference and pitch your book to an agent or publisher, you apparently have 2 to 3 minutes to give them a synopsis of your story and characters, as well as your style and personality as a writer. Um...............okay. I can't even tell my kids to go brush their teeth in 2 to 3 minutes. I am long of wind. I talk a lot. I ramble. I say absolute crap when there is absolutely nothing to be said at all! How in the crap am I going to be able to condense my story into that short little blip in time? It feels impossible.

In fact, it feels so impossible that every time I think about it, I get a stomach ache. No kidding. I literally thought about it tonight, then spent an hour in the bathroom. I know in my heart of hearts, that if an agent were to read my full manuscript, I would be in. Or, I would probably be in. We'll just leave it at that. But, if I can't somehow water myself down enough to come across as competent and talented without seeming manic and hysterical...I am screwed! Either that, or I will come across as calm and confident, but will spend the entire next day at the conference in the bathrooms paying the price for the stupid pitchfest the night before! Argh....

Is this normal? Do all writers get the trots at the notion of pitching their books? Or is it just me?

Brooke Moss.