Monday, April 12, 2010

Endings Are Beginnings

A curious thing happened on the way to the rest of my life. I fell in love. I opened my heart, my soul and my body. I felt the pleasure of closeness again and experienced the one thing a woman wants most: trust. Trust in love, in the continuation of that love -- actually a better word for that might be faith -- faith to see through all the messy moments that unbind us from our heart connections.

And that I had, trust and faith, showered with it like a gift from heaven, that and so much more, for El Hombre was a beautiful, loving, kind, generous, devoted and adoring man. And because I was finally able to open myself to love, I felt a simple joy I hadn't known -- even just opening my eyes in the morning, knowing we two existed.

Until the binding, the faith, something fell apart somehow. Those messy moments -- miscommunications, misunderstandings. Two perfect hearts. Two imperfect circumstances.

Heart strings snapped. He let go and now I'm untethered from a bond I so deeply desired and cherished.

But in spite of it all, I can only be grateful for what we shared. He gave me the gift of love and of loving.

After this experience, I'm never going to give up on love. Though I cannot yet imagine ever loving anyone else, the rest of my life is now.

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