Ladies, if you can't grow old, wear a funky crochet short-sleeved blouse, pick your nose and drink a beer in public, what's the point?
YOU SUCK, BUT IN A GOOD WAY
What's better than working out at a gay gym? Working out at a gay gym with a touchy-feely Cuban semi-retired stripper who sweet talks you with free passes to La Bare, that's what! Actually, working out at a gay gym with a touchy-feely Cuban semi-retired stripper of the "oyeme, mama" variety who sweet talks you while you are toning your thighs on the adductor machine ... come on, ladies, haven't you ever wanted to clamp your legs on a man's head just so he would shut up? Tsk, tsk. And you thought cunnilingus was just for pleasure!
SLIM PICKINGS
Sex and the Swamp! Francisco Alvarado of the Miami New Times answered my age-old question: WTF? What's up with the hangman's noose at Loop Road? Naked ladies and a Glades love story. Doesn't get better than that, y'all.
Don Singledom! This aint the new champipple, but a bubbling trend.
Sufferin' Sofitash! Nothing good can come ... unless it's in a relationship and coming already ... but that aint the point!
Photograph courtesy of Vetlife.
tags: miami beach, sex, nose, humor
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