Manola News, Miami Beach, August 2, 2006 -- Manola Blablablanik was pressing down a grilled cheese sandwich with a spatula when a clean-shaven Colin Farrell appeared on the bread!
"It was a spiritual experience," declared the popular blogger. "I mean I hadn't even been thinking about his penis for like, the last ten minutes, and then I swear, he spoke to me with those wistful Irish eyes: 'Manola, my flesh is not worthy!'"
Dr. Annie Steelclit, Manola's therapist, agrees that it's time for Manola to move on and reintroduce dick into her life. "She has recovered quite well from Mr. Thinks He's Huge," the doctor affirms. "Her previous Rorschach test results spoke volumes about her denial and fear of real honest to goodness wanker. Every single ink blot had to do with Colin Farrell's penis. But lately, she just says 'ink blot' followed by a yawn."
The eminent psychologist is proud of Manola's progress. "An obsession with Colin Farrell's penis, while initially healthy, has now become as old as the Ten Commandments. Besides, now that Miami Vice has hit the big screen, Mr. Farrell is already so yesterday. Even Manola knows that there's no point to spanking a dead monkey."
In a tear-jerking confession, Manola relinquishes Colin Farrell for good.
But not one to waste a good holy apparition, Manola is auctioning off the grilled cheese sandwich on Ebay! All proceeds will benefit the Manola Blablablanik Center for Recovery from Relationships with Real and Imaginary Pricks. Bid now!
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