A Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

Perhaps in anticipation of the weekend, I am hoping to turn It's Not Funny into It Could Be Funny. I would love nothing more than to let this episode go and forget it ever happened, but that brief moment of fear has taken a toll on my health. I have struggled all week with insomnia, anxiety and an awful gnawing feeling at the pit of my stomach that while Carnage at Apt 17 is unlikely to occur, another Crackass and Company show will come soon to a neighbor near me.



After last weekend, I'm no longer so keen on letting anyone walk all over my peace of mind. So this weekend, I hope to turn the tables. Instead of being the sheep, I'll be the wolf in sheep's clothing.

On Tuesday, some fifty and sixty somethings who have been living here for over twenty years, ganged up on Crackass, literally. The timing was exquisite. In the afternoon, when he was on his way to work, apartments number 27, 24 and 15 -- all board members -- were huddling around him with arms over their heads visibly deploying the universal WTF? gesture.

Do you think this stern talking-to is sufficient after months of verbal and written warnings? Crackass and Company haved pulled some kind of shenanigan just about every weekend if not every other weekend. It's expected.

My brother, a nth degree black belt (sensei) who lives in LA CA, suggested that while I can't kick this guy's ass, I could pull a simple practical joke: spray adhesive on the door knob, so that whoever should attempt to rattle it, would be stuck until the police arrive.

But what kind of adhesive? Any better ideas?

Dear readers, I am the sort of person who doesn't hurt a fly. In fact, I usually rescue the fly and take it to ER. I heard a priest once say, "be kind, but not stupid." So this time, I MEAN BUSINESS. Maybe I can't kick his ass. But I'm not going to let anyone kick mine.

Seriously, I am really going to be on edge ... because it really isn't fair and it really isn't funny.